Hazzard County Jail

Somebody to fill the jail for a spell! It's come to our attention that the Hazzard County Jail has been empty too long. It's time we cracked down on the scofflaws, vagrants, and innocent people minding their own business that affect our fine community. Plus we gotta keep people on the county payroll looking busy. For that reason, I'm gonna be on patrol and making arrests where I see fit. Then, we'll set bail just as arbitrarily. Post your bail and you'll be free as a bird! Until next time.... Khee!

Yes, you Roger. In the tradition that is Hazzard County, you're under arrest for...well, for being a Duke. I know, Roger, I know but there's just some things of the natural order that have to be adhered to! Step right into the jail cell there. No back talkin' now or you won't get any of the chipped beef for dinner... Bail? Why sure, I reckon there's gonna be bail...

Now I ain't just pickin' on Dukes but when yer a Duke, yer a Duke. And Daney's no exception. Yer under arrest for bein' a Duke and for, basically, resistin' arrest by sayin' you didn't wanna be arrested. See, had you been right in line here and jumping for the chance to get arrested I'da been shooin' you away. When are you gonna learn?! Step right into the cell there. No back talkin' now! No, you can't make a phone call, I got a 42 page fax to get to Atlanta. Looks like Roger left some toliet paper. Yes, the computer has solitaire on it. Khee!

Oh yeah, I'm on a roll now you dang Dukes. Khee! Since Daisy likes hangin' out at the jail so much and wants to put some curtains on the window there, figured she'd like to be our next contestent on Who Wants to Stay in the Hazzard Jail! She's also under arrest for plottin' to use the horse linament in place of Daney's no bake cookie recipie. Right on into the cell there. No you can't have any needle an' thread and material to make some curtains. If you behave tho', I'll letcha have a cookie. Brian, tell her what she's won for bail!

A switch from Dukes! Yeah, I know you're our Fan of the Year but that don't get you any immunity. When Roger was arrested you were standing kinda suspiciously by the jail cell window there. And then when DaisyMae was under arrest, you had some sneaky suggestion about bringing in snacks. Hey, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck ya know! You go baking a cake with an extra special filling and then the next thing I know, Daisy woulda been free as a bird. Of course, she sang like one and now she is free as a bird. Khee! Ah, and no, I didn't listen to Daney. Sorry. HEH! Plus you had that crazy idea of putting flowers around the jail cell. Flowers?! Really?! We've got two d…

Well, well, well and well, Garrett. How's about you just step right on in to Cell #01 heah and we'll find out if you're a forgiving cuss or not. BL certainly went and did it this time. She even forced me back to arresting Dukes! *escorts Garrett into the cell, closes the door. Locks it* To be honest, Garrett, yer probably safer in here. Ol' Brian's pretty upset about his um...patrol car...bein' dismantled. Wait 'till Boss gets the bill for that one...

Yes folks, MaryAnne wasn't payin' attention and found herself shoved inside the holding cell by yours truly. KHEEHAHAHAHA! ( See the "Arrest Garrett " thread for how it unfolded.) *looks at uniformed cousin who's locked behind bars* Ya know MaryAnne, I always wanted to pull this on ya, just once. And it's every bit as entertainin' as ah thought it would be. Now if you'll excuse me just a moment, I need to allow mahself some display o' victory. *snatches up the jail keys from the peg on the wall, not taking any chances, and shoves them into the inner pocket of leather jacket. Proceeds to jump up on the booking dance and break into an end-zone boogie* I fought t…

Yes, Brian got himself busted with the same good honest family trickery as he used on me. Hey, all's fair in love, war and Coltrane Shenanigans. (See Arrest MaryAnne Coltrane thread for the instant replay). *looks at cousin in jail* Turn about is fair play, Brian. Or payback is hell, however you wanna look at it. Khee!

Yes folks, Chet Duke is in jail for vehicular assualt with a horse. Amongst other crimes as committed in the Arrest Brian Coltrane! thread. He's really living up to this whole outlaw thang ain't he? Previously, in our ongoing saga, after being placed in jail and managing to shift is hand cuffed hands from behind him to infront of him, Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane checked up on her prisoner.... *she was more than surprised to see Chet standing, pacing and with his arms now infront of him, his wrists still cuffed. It was amazing enough she had hefted the 200 plus pound Duke into the back of her patrol car. How the heck he maneuvered his arms around himself was beyond her* Well.…

It's high time someone got arrested here in Hazzard. Lets see............ Who should we arrest today............... Wait! Meadowmufn sounds like a likely candidate! He's been in the jail before but he deserves a second chance. AT PRACTICING "HE'S IN THE JAILHOUSE NOW" ON HIS HARMONICA IN HIS JAIL CELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Excuse me for my excessive use of exclamation marks. BUT HE DESERVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …

Ya know, it's just been way too long since we had anybody in the Hazzard Hoosegow. So I cleaned the place up, changed the linens, put in a fresh vase o' flowers, and set out a nice platter of cookies. Then, I hung up a sign above the cell that read "Executive Office. No admittance." I baited the cell with a big box of old fanfics that needed sorting out. Usually, ploys this obvious don't work, but I'm feelin' lucky.