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Arrest Roger Duke!


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Yes, you Roger. In the tradition that is Hazzard County, you're under arrest for...well, for being a Duke.

I know, Roger, I know but there's just some things of the natural order that have to be adhered to! Step right into the jail cell there. No back talkin' now or you won't get any of the chipped beef for dinner...

Bail? Why sure, I reckon there's gonna be bail... ;)

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Sorry that you are the first 'victim' Roger. Oh, and nowhere in the Constitution is a phone call mentioned! That was pointed out in a criminal justice class I took once. Seems most arrestees wants to use the Constitutional Right to a phone call, but it don't exsist!

Brain, I'll get right on that list of names for those warrants!


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This was posted in the one-liner thread but I figured it was more appropriate over here. LOL

HNet policy is pretty open. First Amendment and all that.

Don't act like you care about the Constitution and people's rights. After all, you just threw me in jail on some phoney trumped up charge and haven't even told me what it is. (I'm only assuming it's phoney and trumped up because I haven't done anything wrong).

I didn't have my rights read to me. I'm running out of toilet paper and the computer in this cell is slower than Morgan's molasses.

If I was you I'd be worried about Emma Tisdale. I was supposed to take her catfishing tonight. As soon as she finds out I'm in here, she might be exercising her Second Amendment rights and try to break me out.

Roger, I never said I cared about the Constitution, just the First Amendment!

I didn't read you your rights? Oh, well in that case...

1. Y'all have the right to shut yer yap!

2. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court o' law even if it's hearsay, made up, wrong or inaccurate. (I would advise that you waive right number 1 about shuttin' yer yap because I'm gonna need to collect some stuff to use against you in a court o' law).

3. You got the right to attorney, but good luck finding an honest one!

4. If you can't afford no attorney one will be provided for you but if it's some guy Boss knows, you're screwed.

Have you understood each of these rights I've read to you?

Now, just to prove I ain't a cruel jailer, I will get you some more toliet paper. I recommend tho' that if it's two ply, you use one ply to conserve, 'k?

That computer is a Commodore 64, state o' the art with a cassette tape back up system. Pretty slick. I dunno what you were using before, Roger, but Hazzard County only uses the most up-to-date computer systems.

Oh, and I ain't worried about Miz Tisdale wielding a gun...

It's her motorbike that scares me.


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Didn't ya hear? The Sheriff's Department just got a brand spankin' new Commodore 64 computer with a 300 baud modem. Rosco done hooked it up to this new fangled thing called the "internet" and he's got the phone line tied up for now. Sorry...

Rosco got the 300 baud modem? Man, that's lightening fast!

Yes, that's why you can't use the phone, Roger, we only got one phone line. And as soon as he's done, I gotta fax some stuff over to Capital City. It's only a 50 page fax, shouldn't take toooooo long.... ;)

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Bail? What bail?

Oh, thassright. BAIL! We can't have Rodger freeloadin' around in our jail forevah. Besides, we're equal opportunity injustice, and we gotta give other folks a chance to experience the hospitality of our hoosegow.

Roger, here's whatcha gotta do to pay your way out.

Write a poem with a Hazzard theme. It can be an Ode to Miz Tizdale if ya want. Post it here where everybody can see it, and if it passes our already notoriously lax standards, you'll be free to go!

Have at it!

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*whispers* psst Roger *peeks through the window outside the jail* don't worry if Brian don't set bail I'm sure somebody'll bust ya out.
Is he allowed any visitors bearing picnic baskets? *holds the basket under their noses* Smells good huh?

*sniffs* What is that, fried chicken? Now I know you Dukes, you might be tryin' to sneak something into the jail to help Roger escape. And a Davenport by the window there...that's not a good sign. Wait a second, is that Cooter's tow truck parked by the curb?

Nobody's gonna bust Roger, out of here - not before he submits his bail. I run the toughest Stalag in all of Germany--er, I mean the toughest jail in all of Hazzard. Ja!

Tho' I am on the look out for the next a-rres-tee... :deputy:

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Here I am sitting in the Hazzard County jail.

Dreaming of fishing with Emma Tisdale.

Time here is dragging. It sure ain't flyin'.

I'm blaming it all on MaryAnne and Brian.

Maybe fer lunch they'll serve turkey and stuffin'.

And hot apple pie made by Meadowmufn.

Where are those kids Daisy, Bo and Luke?

Why am I the only penned up Duke?

Upstairs I can hear big bad Boss Hogg.

With Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane and his cute little dog.

Outside I see Cooter and his powerful tow truck.

He has a fat chain. Imagine the luck.

He's hooking the chain to the window bars.

And pulling them out, almost hitting two cars.

So here I am on the banks of Hazzard Creek.

Fishing with Emma. It's been quite a week.

I guess I'm now wanted. They call me a fugitive.

That's okay because I'm used to it.

With the wind in our hair, we feel young and free.

Another happy ending in Hazzard Countee.

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