Skipper Duke

Bandit:"Sheriff I been meanin' to ask you. Why are you followin' me?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Well, I'd be very happy to tell you Mr. Bandit! I didn't come all this way, to go home with empty pockets! When I get you home, I'm gonna find the tallest tree in the country, an' I'm gonna hang you from it!" Bandit:"Sheriff?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"I'm listenin'." Bandit:"Do the letters F. O. mean anything to you?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Smart aleck!"

Bandit:"Sheriff I've been chased by the best of 'em. An' son, you must be part coon hound, cuz you make 'em all look like they're runnin' in slow motion. I just wanna say that." Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Well thank you very much Mr. Bandit, and may I say as the pursuer that you're the g**d***est pursuee I ever pursued. Now that the mutual bull s*** is over, where are you, you sumb****!?"

(Season 1 Daisy's Song) "That place ain't been right, since Sherman burned it." Jesse talking about Atlanta.

(Season 2 Andy and Barney in the Big City) Barney:"That's how I always sign, Bernard P. Fife, M.D." (long pause) "Mayberry Deputy!" Andy:"Now, Barn, outside of that meetin' we got with the commissioner, we're-we're really off duty, you know? Barney:"Off duty? Huh. Now, when is a lawman really off duty?"

(Season 3 Pass the Vegetables, Please) Mr. Howell:"Lovey! What has happened to you!? Slow down! I'm exhausted just watching you! At least take a coffee break." Mrs. Howell:"Good idea!"(has some more sugar beets to eat, rushes out the door, gets up up on the table dances on it, jumps down and runs away)Mr. Howell:"I may enter that woman in the Olympics!"

Big Enos:"Hoss. Where might I find The Bandit?"

(Season 1 St. Gilligan and the Dragon) Mr. Howell:"(in dream sequence)""I wish I were scalp all over!"

Ya know, why did Buford ask Jr. if he wanted something, if he knew he wasn't gonna order him anything anyway? This has always puzzled me. I answered it by telling people who ask it, "Because then we wouldn't have the classic comical "We got no time fer that crap!" scene.

Ship Ahoax Happy Anniversary Air Date: February 24, 1966 Did You Know? The radio announcer for this episode was the great John Facenda who introduced himself as "John Facenda, WCAU".

Jr. Justice:"Daddy there’s a fish that looks exactly like our fish!" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"That IS our fish, you m***e t**t. GRAB IT!!!" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Looks like your mama. Smells like her too." Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Very nice, Junior. That was very nice. You know, when this is all over, I’m gonna buy you a nice lobotomy." Jr. Justice:"Oh, thank you daddy!!"

Jr. Justice:"“Who’s in there daddy?” Sheriff Buford T. Justice:“I don’t know but it ain’t Jacques Cousteau.”

(Season 1 Daisy's Song) Luke Duke:"When you record a song, yer supposed to get royalties." Bo Duke:"Well, uh, where is this publishing company anyway?"

(Season 4 Hughie Hogg Strikes Again)Rosco & Cletus sirens. Bo Duke:"What the heck is that?" Luke Duke:"I don't know!"

(Season 3 Carnival of Thrills) Luke Duke:"Well cousin, I gotta say I'm glad I'm here." Bo Duke:"I'm glad yer here, too."

Gilligan's Island fans... Fun World also makes Gilligan. They may make all 7 castaway costumes.

Gilligan's Island fans... Ginger https://www.ebay.com/itm/Movie-Star-Gilligans-Island-Halloween-Costume-Wig-New-Ginger-/403454174904?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l6249&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0

Gilligan's Island fans... The Skipper https://www.ebay.com/itm/Skipper-Gilligans-Island-Adult-Halloween-Costume-/124930633914?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l6249&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0

(Season 2 Castaway Pictures Presents) Professor:"We did experience some technical difficulties." Gilligan:"He means me." Mr. Howell:"What's that horrible thing?" Gilligan:"Ginger's mouth!" Ginger:"Oh!" Mr. Howell:"I asked for a love scene, not an anatomy lesson!"

Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Give it a fast shake, I’m in a high speed pursuit. Get in the car junior. Every bodys watching."

Snowman:"Come on Fred. Come on, boy. Fred..... Fred! Don’t you make me come after you! I'm in hurry and you wanna go for a swim. You’re driving me crazy, Fred. You’re driving me crazy." Bandit:"By the time you get that d*** dog in the truck, you can put the hammer down. 'Cause by then, that Smokey will have gone right by you." Snowman:"How'd he know that?"

(Season 2 Operation Steam Heat) Mr. Howell:"He may be a seething Volcano but I'm going to erupt!!"

Larry The Cable Guy

Bandit:"You must be in a h*** of a hurry, huh Sheriff?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"You bet your a$$ on that boy!" Bandit:"Who you chasin'? Somebody chasin' you?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"NOBODIES chasin' me boy! I’ve been chasing a g**d*** maniac all the way from Texarkana Texas to here!" Bandit:"Really? What is he a bank robber?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Bank robber? Bank Robbin is baby s*** along side of what this dude is doin', almost killed 20 law officers, drivin' through people's backyards, knockin done mailboxes, got a broad in the car, crossin state line, that’s a man act, I don’t think he has her permission, and that’s kidnappin, how’s that for high jinx?" “burps” "what do I owe?"

Jr. Justice:"But daddy my zipper's stuck...." Sheriff Buford T. Justice: Let me tell you somethin' Jr. If you ever embarrass me like that again, I'm gonna get an axe, an' you'll never have to open your fly again!"

Cousin Roger yep!