Skipper Duke

(Season 4 Bargain Day) Andy Taylor:"Aunt Bee! What's a matter with you!? He's gonna ruin that thing!"

(Season 4 Bargain Day) Gomer Pyle:"You’re a good assistant Op. We almost had that thing fixed." Andy Taylor:"And Call the man."

(Season 1 St. Gilligan and the Dragon) Skipper:"Cool off Howell!" Mr. Howell:"Cool off!? I'm drenched!!"

Remembering the great Don Knotts, who left us 16 years ago today.

Remembering Jim Backus on what would have been his 109th birthday. Happy birthday Thurston!!

Jr. Justice:“What’s the matter daddy?” Sheriff Buford T. Justice:“GAS!” Jr. Justice:“Ah it must be the pizza you had for lunch.” Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Not my belly the tank. Didn't you fill it up?" Jr. Justice:"Well I thought that-..." Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"You thought? What the h*** did you use?"

Jr. Justice:"Im as confused as a baby raccoon!" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"I don't know where the hell we are." Jr. Justice:"It's right here on the map daddy." Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Get that d*** thing outta my face!" Jr. Justice:"I was only trying to help." Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"You wanna help? Jump out the window."

Big Enos:"Double or nothing, clamchowder from Boston in 18 hrs." Little Enos:"Gimme $500 on the Bandit."

Snowman:"Your crazy, and I’m divorced"

Sheriff Buford T. Justice:“Junior, retirement is cat sh**”

Bandit:"Sheriff I been meanin' to ask you. Why are you followin' me?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Well, I'd be very happy to tell you Mr. Bandit! I didn't come all this way, to go home with empty pockets! When I get you home, I'm gonna find the tallest tree in the country, an' I'm gonna hang you from it!" Bandit:"Sheriff?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"I'm listenin'." Bandit:"Do the letters F. O. mean anything to you?" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Smart aleck!"

Bandit:"Sheriff I've been chased by the best of 'em. An' son, you must be part coon hound, cuz you make 'em all look like they're runnin' in slow motion. I just wanna say that." Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Well thank you very much Mr. Bandit, and may I say as the pursuer that you're the g**d***est pursuee I ever pursued. Now that the mutual bull s*** is over, where are you, you sumb****!?"

(Season 1 Daisy's Song) "That place ain't been right, since Sherman burned it." Jesse talking about Atlanta.

(Season 2 Andy and Barney in the Big City) Barney:"That's how I always sign, Bernard P. Fife, M.D." (long pause) "Mayberry Deputy!" Andy:"Now, Barn, outside of that meetin' we got with the commissioner, we're-we're really off duty, you know? Barney:"Off duty? Huh. Now, when is a lawman really off duty?"

(Season 3 Pass the Vegetables, Please) Mr. Howell:"Lovey! What has happened to you!? Slow down! I'm exhausted just watching you! At least take a coffee break." Mrs. Howell:"Good idea!"(has some more sugar beets to eat, rushes out the door, gets up up on the table dances on it, jumps down and runs away)Mr. Howell:"I may enter that woman in the Olympics!"

Big Enos:"Hoss. Where might I find The Bandit?"

(Season 1 St. Gilligan and the Dragon) Mr. Howell:"(in dream sequence)""I wish I were scalp all over!"

Ya know, why did Buford ask Jr. if he wanted something, if he knew he wasn't gonna order him anything anyway? This has always puzzled me. I answered it by telling people who ask it, "Because then we wouldn't have the classic comical "We got no time fer that crap!" scene.

Ship Ahoax Happy Anniversary Air Date: February 24, 1966 Did You Know? The radio announcer for this episode was the great John Facenda who introduced himself as "John Facenda, WCAU".

Jr. Justice:"Daddy there’s a fish that looks exactly like our fish!" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"That IS our fish, you m***e t**t. GRAB IT!!!" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Looks like your mama. Smells like her too." Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Very nice, Junior. That was very nice. You know, when this is all over, I’m gonna buy you a nice lobotomy." Jr. Justice:"Oh, thank you daddy!!"

Jr. Justice:"“Who’s in there daddy?” Sheriff Buford T. Justice:“I don’t know but it ain’t Jacques Cousteau.”

(Season 1 Daisy's Song) Luke Duke:"When you record a song, yer supposed to get royalties." Bo Duke:"Well, uh, where is this publishing company anyway?"

(Season 4 Hughie Hogg Strikes Again)Rosco & Cletus sirens. Bo Duke:"What the heck is that?" Luke Duke:"I don't know!"

(Season 3 Carnival of Thrills) Luke Duke:"Well cousin, I gotta say I'm glad I'm here." Bo Duke:"I'm glad yer here, too."

Gilligan's Island fans... Fun World also makes Gilligan. They may make all 7 castaway costumes.