Awww, I'm so sorry to hear that Jami. I'm glad you're back but your sad news puts a damper on your return. For what it's worth, I know how you feel. My best friend (who was also my cousin) was killed when I was 19. That was over 30 years ago but I still miss him. I drive by his house every day and think of him every day. I never got over it but I've learned to live with it in time. By your post I couldn't tell if your friend died or just left your life for some other reason. It really doesn't matter because the emotions are very similiar either way. The healing process is similiar too. Either way, there's only one thing that ever heals.....time. You can do things to ease the pain in the short term but in the long term, time will be your cure....even though it might not seem like it now. The folks here might only be computer friends but we really are a family of sorts too and we care about you. Please take one day at a time and surround yourself with positive things.