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Jesse: And don't go selling 'em at a profit. That'd be wrong too.


Jesse: The family line ends with Daisy. The chances of either of you two producing a family ranks right up there with hogs producing beef.

Luke: Thanks a lot.

Jesse: You know...it is kinda funny.

(anyone know what episode this was from by the way?)

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Jesse: The Dukes don't run. Sometimes we'd like to run and sometimes we oughta run. But we don't and we won't.

Bo: Why? Just cuz we're Dukes?

Jesse: No. Cuz we got nowhere else to go. Heh heh.

Jesse: Now we Dukes take revenge on property...not people.

Enos: You snookered me Uncle Jesse.

Jesse: Well...yes...But Enos, I think you wanted to be snookered...See deep down I think you want to fight this system just as badly as we do.

Enos: That may be so but I still have to do my duty as a sworn in lawman! I'll see you later Uncle Jesse.

Jesse: Heh heh...Sworn in lawman.

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  • 1 month later...

A couple of mine favorites quotes are:

Jesse: The family line ends with Daisy. The chances of either of you two producing a family ranks right up there with hogs producing beef.


Don't remind me! When he is talking to the boys and Cletus about breaking out of jail in the Road Pirates episode

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"It's like going to chruch without yer shirt on! It just don't feel right!!"

"Pride makes a good friend, but a poor master"

"How many times have I said look after Daisy! And how many times have you said We will Uncle Jesse? And whaddya do? Ya get her throwd in jail! Now get her out!"

And ps Jamanda I believe that was Carnival of Thrills, Luke was getting yelled at by Jesse in the Jeep, they pull over and Jesse starts jumping around, "So yer prides been hurt! And ya gotta lash out and hit something! Well hit me!! I rather go through the pain of that then watch you two hit each other!" He puts up his hands and jumps around ready to fight Luke, who tries real hard not to laugh. Luke says "Ok your right Unca Jesse I was an idiot I'll admit it" or something he gets in the jeep followed by Jesse, That's when he smiles and says, "Ya know it is kinda funny!"

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iloveluke6 wrote:
Uncle Jesse to Boss- You overdressed marshmellow....

That was soooo funny!!

I also loved it in "The Law and Uncle Jesse" when.....

Uncle Jesse:(Mocking Rosco while in hot persuit of Bo and Luke) I love it I love it, kew kew, hot persuit!!

Boss:That was a terrible impression of Rosco

I loved that!!! :D:D:D

That was a good one from Boss and Jesse :D

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  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...

'A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet

'Pride makes a poor master'

from Luke's love story:

'Luke i've been watching you and if it comes to women your as subtle

as a....don't now it exactly but I think it was something like sledgehammer

from Carnaval of thrills:

“Bo,I know you don’t wanna be lectured but, well there’s a couple of things I want ya ta take with ya, First one is, I want ya to know I love ya dearly,The other one is, whenever you get through doin’ whatever it is ya gotta do, realize this is your home, you can always come back.â€

'Cooter! I'm not your Uncle Jesse!!!'

Daisy: How do ya come so wise?

Jesse: That's where old men 'for.

I love Uncle Jesse he's my favorite character, I wished I had someone like him around me while growing up.


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Cooter I am not your Uncle Jesse

Dukes don't fight Dukes

B'sides when we was makin' corn whiskey, we paid taxes on the corn. Gamblin's a vice. How you gonna tax vice?

There you are, my boys, Bo, Luke....Now get in that barn before I take a whip to you...that scream's gonna bring out everybody in Hazzard County!

Shepard to lost sheep, shepard to lost sheep

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  • 5 months later...

I don't know the exact words anymore, but it's form Carnival of Thrills when they are sitting and he wants to talk to the lord:

"Who in the world is calling to someone when he is talking to his lord..... uh uh...... amen.. Get it" .... That Get It makes it verry funny !

And after one o his famous speeches to the dukeboys: "And get rid of that hickups !" :lol:

And also from Carnival of Thrills, when he had a discussion with Luke, after It 's kinda funny, That laugh of him, it gives me a warm feeling !!! :D

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  • 6 months later...

Okay this one had been aforemention, when Jesse is yelling at Luke in Carnival of Thrills, but I am sad and know the whole scene lol. So i thought I'd share it with you all because it is fantastic and Jesse is just so funny.

Balladeer: No sooner than Uncle Jesse and Daisy got Luke sprung out of Iron City, they sprung another surprise on him.

Luke: What’s the matter Daisy; you forgot the way back to the farm?

Jesse: We ain’t goin’ to the farm.

Daisy: We’re headed to the fairgrounds to try and talk some sense into Bo’s head.

Luke: That’ll be the day.

Jesse: Now Luke, Bo may be acting a little stupid these days but he ain’t the first man to be smitten by a woman.

Luke: Uncle Jesse, it’s a waste of time. Anybody who’s fool enough to let a girl like that come between him and his family…he don’t even deserve to be called a Duke.

Jesse: Daisy, stop the car.

Daisy: What?

Jesse: Turn her off! I said turn her off!

Daisy: Ok.

*stops and Jesse gets out.*

Jesse: Get out!

Luke: What for?

Jesse: Just get out here! Couple of things you and me have got to settle.

*Luke gets out*

Jesse: Now then. If there’s one thing I taught you boys I thought it was there’s two sides to every argument.

Luke: All right, well this time Bo’s on the wrong side!

Jesse: Oh he is is he? Well his excuse is he’s in love what’s yours?

Luke: Well I don’t take kindly to being punched in the face for speaking my mind!

Jesse: Oh! So your pride’s been hurt?! And you gotta strike out and hit something? Well all right, hit me!

Luke: Uncle Jesse, you know I can’t!

Jesse: Why not? I’d rather see you hit me than go through the pain of watchin’ you two hit each other! Now listen to me. Us Dukes ain’t got much when it comes to worldly goods but we got something more important. We got love and respect for each other that binds us together like glue! Us Dukes is one. So just put them up! Just go ahead, put ‘em up! *Luke starts to laugh* ‘Cause I’ll tell you what, I ain’t about to stand aside and see my family torn apart by a couple of hotheads that think they got no more sense than a chicken raiding a foxes den! It ain’t funny!

Luke: *Laughing* All right Uncle Jesse, you win! I was hotheaded, I was a Jackass! I can see the only thing we got is family and boy what a family! All we gotta do is convince Bo that the family’s the important thing! Come on, hop in. Let’s go.

Jesse; Get in there!

Luke: All right, All right I’m going. *Gets back in the Jeep* Start her up Daisy. Come on Uncle Jesse; get in for Pete’s sake.

Jesse: You know…it is kinda funny.

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