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Skipper Duke

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Everything posted by Skipper Duke

  1. (Season 1 Waiting for Watubi) Skipper:"Gilligan! Look in there!"
  2. (Season 2 Seer Gilligan) Skipper:"Gilligan! I don't understand how you do this!" Gilligan:"I'm just standing here." Skipper:"Let me stand there! Now, you think of something! Well, are you thinking of something?" Gilligan:"Uh huh." Skipper:"I don't understand, I'm not getting any message. What are you thinking about?" Gilligan:"I was thinking about the time when I was 10 years old, and skinned knee, I was going to the movies with my cousin Rudolph and his friend Claude and Freddy with 2 teeth missing, but Freddy-" Skipper:"Never mind Gilligan! For goodness sakes, how can I understand what you're thinking, when I can't even understand what you're saying!?"
  3. The Andy Griffith Show fans... I bring you sad news. I have learned today that Betty Lynn(Thelma Lou) has passed away. She was 95.
  4. Marzack:"Answer me straight, or you'll p*** blood for a month!"
  5. Sheriff Luthor:"Let's go son." Grady Hagg:"Bobby Lee, can't I even take a leak without the whole world comin' to an end?" Bobby Lee Hagg:"Now Grady, the b****** insulted my playin', an' you know I'm sensitive about my playin'!"
  6. Buddy Repperton:"Hey Trelawny, isn't that c***ingham's car?" Richard Trelawny:"Yep." Moochie Welch:"I know where he keeps it."
  7. Bandit - That’s not good. Frog - It would be better with a whole bridge. Bandit - And that’s worse! Frog - Why don’t you drop me off here, I’ll catch a cab? Bandit - Too late now!
  8. You know somethin' sheriff? What? If J.W. don't get outta my way I'm gonna pass him. Where, in the woods? Listen, I don't care if your daddy is the mayor. You wreck this car, it's gonna come outta your pay. Yeah, but sheriff, he's gettin' away! Son, he's not going anywhere. The Mullberry bridge has been dismantled for the past 6 momths. Oh.
  9. (Season 3 Voodoo) Professor:"Look at it Skipper. Just look at the detail." Skipper:"Professor, I will not look at it. It's got a curse on it!" Professor:"It won't bite you." Skipper:"It won't bite me huh? It'll just chew me up, and spit me out all over the rest of the island!" Professor:"How can a grown man be frightened by a piece of baked clay?" Skipper:"Well, it may be just a piece of pottery to you, but to me, it's a "do not disturb!" sign." Professor:"Skipper, that's ridiculous!" Skipper:"Please Professor, there's voodoo all through these islands! They've got witch doctors out there that can turn a man into zombie!" Professor:"That is just a native superstition. Have you ever seen a zombie?" Gilligan enters the hut. Skipper:"Well, not really!"
  10. (Season 3 The Hack of Hazzard) Rosco:"Stop! Thief! Stop that thief!" Cletus:(tackles Rosco, without knowing who it is, but now realizes it's Rosco)"Sheriff!?" Rosco:"Of course Sheriff, you dipstick!" Cletus:" Yer a thief!?"
  11. (Season 3 The Hack of Hazzard) Waylon Jennings:"Old Charlie knows what's happenin'. But he ain't talkin'. You know, by the time he finally gets home, I bet the grits are gonna be cold, and Bertha won't believe him."
  12. (Season 2 Agonized Labor) Mr. Howell:"Would you like a taste the Moon Capitan?" Skipper:"Was is it!?" Mr. Howell:"It's a magnificent combination of a unique cuisine from zee master chef!" Skipper:"Oh, never mind all that static Mr. Howell! What is it!?" Mr. Howell: Seaweed soup!"
  13. Daisy Duke:"Enos? Where's Boss Hogg an' Rosco?" Deputy Enos Strate:"At yer farm." Daisy Duke:"Thank you Enos. That might be a new record."
  14. (Season 1 Irresistible Andy) Opie Taylor:"You a desperate hunter, Miss Ellie?" Ellie Walker:"Not really." Opie Taylor:"'Cause I know where you can get yourself a possum." Ellie Walker:"No thanks sweetie. Right now, I'm on the trail of a baboon!"
  15. (Season 2 Agonized Labor) Gilligan:"Skipper? What's soup de jour?" Skipper:"Gilligan, everybody knows what soup de jour is! For goodness sakes, those are the simplest words in the world!"Gilligan:" You don't know either?" Skipper:"Gilligan, I do too! I just don't wanna show off. Tell him what it is Professor." Professor:"Soup of the day."
  16. (Season 5 Otis Sues the County) Otis:"Boy, I sure would hate to have to fill out a form every time I fell down. Wouldn't leave me much time for drinkin'!"
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