Brian Coltrane
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Posts posted by Brian Coltrane
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Waaaal, lemme see heah.
Daisy shows up in all the episodes 'cept fer one. And darned if I can remember which one she's missin' from. Shut mah mouth!
Far as ones she's starred in....there's a good number o' those. "Birds Gotta Fly" , "Daisy's Song", "Officer Daisy Duke", and "Daisy's Shotgun Wedding." To name a few.
Maybe MaryAnne can answer the question better. Let's just hail the Deputy on this one. Yo, MaryAnne! Can yew address the question from Milo, heah?
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Dug this one up from the March 28th issue of the "Star" celebrity mag. Says here, Jessica worked out six days a week with a personal trainer, in order to fit her buns into the Daisy Dukes package.
That's terrific, but has she ever watched a Dukes episode? Hmm.
On an aside, the article goes on to quote the movie release date as June 24. Not sure if WB has actually locked this down yet; we've heard different dates thrown around since this magazine hit the shelves.
Brian
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Hell yeah!! What the hell! Why not!! God Bless America!! YEEHAAAW!!
Wait a minute, what's the topic again?
Brian
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When you take it through the carwash, the bad weatherstripping allows in so much water, you think yer gonna drown.
Cops pull you over to tell you something is leaking, dragging, smoking...
You take it to a new mechanic, and he panics at the sight of it.
You can lower neighborhood property values by parking it in front of any given house.
Hitchhikers turn their backs to you when they see you coming.
New car dealers refuse you at the gate.
Brian
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The sorghum thickens! I don't have a lot of confidence in the "reviews" we've seen on the net so far. At least one has been proven to be a hoax.
You know what would be kewl, is if WB would give us HazzardNet folk an advance screeening. ( advance screaming? ) At this point, I'd just love to see what the heck really happens for myself.
At least they don't kill off any characters in this flick. Talk about Star Trek movies as an example - how about when Spock died, eh? They practically had to carry Trek fans out of the theatre on a stretcher.
Brian
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No harm done, Fathead, I figured you were just goofin' around. The overwhelming majority of the posts on this site are never touched, because we've got a great group of people on HazzardNet. I'm lucky to be of any use around here!
And yeah, every now and then Bama says something of material interest, and I take the rest with a grain of salt. He's not being persecuted or nothin', so not to worry. ( That doesn't mean I won't fire back if fired upon, tho'.)
Die-hard fans can handle the opinions of the less-rabid crowd - but anybody can get touchy about the tone of a message. We're all human.
Awright - back to the usual shenanigans!
Brian
(ps - thanks ya'll for the kind words in the above posts )
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It's just a bridge too far to imagine any of the Dukes involved with drug use. ( What is this, Cheech & Chong go to Hazzard?) Now, if they showed any of the Dukes chewin' Skoal, or Uncle Jesse was smoking an ordinary pipe out on the front porch - it would be a surprise, but not a flat-out shock.
Jessica mighta picked up a Skoal endorsement, too. There's a career booster..... pting!
Brian
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Ya know, we used to have some wav files around here, but somehow during our remodeling of the episode section, they got shelved. I'll check and see if we can make them available again.
Brian
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Can't, don't have it. The topic was entitled "enough of this" and it went on to say that Uncle Jesse and the characters of the original show weren't real and we just need to get over it, blah blah blah. It wasn't particuarily constructive and it was more of the same individual opinion that had already been scattered around a dozen of his other posts. I made the editorial desicion to remove it based upon content redundancy and the antagonistic nature of the comments. (Had he posted it on an existing thread I probably wouldn't have blinked.)
This resulted in the "Forum Nazi" topic - and really, a true Forum Nazi would have banned his posterior months ago instead of dealing with him one post at a time. But I'm a kind-hearted and sentimental sort of moderator. I'd rather edit or remove an occassional post - and such action is rare - in lieu of hitting the nuke button on the person as a whole.
I don't take much personally, and so the aforementioned party is free to roam and bray and is probably writing more pearls of wisdom as we speak.
That doesn't mean my esteemed peers are gonna feel the same way, though, and if they get cranky, my own shenanigans will pale in comparison.
Brian
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I deleted your "poast" just to see if you were paying attention, Bama ol' boy. Sometimes I can't stop myself from toying with ya.
Brian
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Forum Nazi
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I've seen a few posts here n' there about this - so let's just air it out. For anyone who hasn't already applied, gitcher rear in gear! There hasn't been a deadline announced yet, far as we know. But the winner will be announced at DukesFest, which is June 4th & 5th, so the clock is winding down.
CMT still has the Dukes Institute page up:
http://www.cmt.com/interact/promotions/dukes_institute/
Go for it, git-r-done, have at it, and Good Luck!
Brian
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That's what I'm thinkin', Dale. I went ahead and forwarded the idea to Ben. Can't promise anything will come of it, but what the heck.
Dukes fans are amused by each other enough, that we'd probably get a kick out of seeing what people came up with.
For example, look at the stuff Brad has done, putting clips and images together. (under the "Videos" section in our quick links from the homepage.) Having a few different categories would give everybody a chance to participate. Could be a lot of fun there.
Brian
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To be fair, I'll admit Super Troopers is the only BL movie I've seen. It just seems a mismatch to have this gang involved with the Dukes movie. Time could prove me wrong, but given the influence the director has on a flick, and the fact Jay's getting some writing credits in this one - I've got some doubts. That's why I'm interested in Jay's own take on things, because all we've got so far is a lot of rumor.
Brian
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Hey, Bama. I'm very happy in my fantasy world, thankyaverymuch.
Dale, I dig your ideas. They illustrate what a fan perspective could have added to this movie. Who knows, maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised by what we actually see in the movie. But if we ain't....hey, nothing says fans couldn't put together their own movie project and show it at DukesFest or something.
Our own Hazzard County Film Festival, how 'bout 'dat!
Brian
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I love Spaghetti Westerns. The Sergio Leone trilogy that saw Clint Eastwood to stardom is among my favorite stuff. A Fistful of Dollars, A Few Dollars More...The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. These movies were gritty, edgy, and unglamorous. What I dig most is that there wasn't an abundance of conversation in any of them, which really made the audience focus on the settings, the character expressions, and the tensions.
I also dig other westerns, such as the lighter stuff James Garner did. "Support Your Local Sheriff" for example. Lots of fun.
Brian
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Howdy Desiree, welcome to HazzardNet! Glad you like what you've seen so far. Wander around and make yerself at home.
As far as I know, the CMT thing is still open, but if you wanna get in on it, you should probably get a move on. It's been running for about 6 weeks, and nobody is sure when they are closing the application period. Gopher it and Good luck!
Brian
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Just when ya thought you've seen everythang.
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Well, at least I was right about the corn. Though I think cotton is mentioned on some other episode.
I get the impression that the Dukes didn't have all that much land left, though, which could explain why the crop income didn't exactly make them high rollers. Which in turn explains why they were forced to wear the same shirts every day. Daisy's the only one that had a wardrobe to speak of, so I guess that's where her waitressing money went.
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Heh heh. Thanks y'all. Ya know, I'm gonna go on an Official Diplomatic and Entirely Foolhardy mission in an effort to see what Jay and his fellow Lizards were using for inspiration, when working on this movie.
I've heard lip service to the effect that the first few episodes of the Dukes were used for inspiration, but I doubt it went beyond figuring out what the South looked like. My skepticism comes from reading about the Super Trooper cameos, and the rumored drug jokes within the Dukes movie.
Pot played a big role in the Super Troopers script. The movie opened with three stoners cruising down the highway in a car. Drug jokes ensue as the stoner in the backseat eats the entire hash supply in an effort to hide it from the cops. Later in the movie, bales of pot are discovered in an RV that also contains a dead body and a live pig. The town cops vs. the state trooper cops vie for the glory of the pot discovery. (For anyone who hasn't seen this movie yet and may rent it, I won't give away the ending. )
The action scenes in Super Troopers were decent, and I don't question Jay's ability to choreograph chase scenes, or fights. What I question is the creative depth. As the director for the Dukes movie, did Jay stick to his own familiar (and limited) territory, and just plunk the Dukes cast into it?
Or did he really study this show? Was he, himself, a true fan of it? Or did he take a ....crash course, pardon the expression, when he landed the gig? Did he watch three episodes, and then with no other exposure either before or after, roll merrily along?
Brian
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The entire screenplay is a hoax, when ya get right down to it. But what the hell, I'm cheered by the thought of media critics hating this movie more than the original series, and there's something satisfying in the irony.
I'll see the movie the opening weekend. No matter what side of the debate anybody's on, I think we all gotta admit we're curious.
Brian
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Bama, ol' man.... you illustrate my point perfectly. Thank ya.
But by BL posting standards, you're a girl scout. Still, you are a good representation of the other side of the movie debate. Yer an artifact. A livin', case-in-point example of the Other Opinion. Not as articulate as some, but you'll do on short notice....
Brian
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I recall Uncle Jesse mentioning "seed corn" money in one ep. Somethin' about a choice where they could either buy the seed they needed for spring planting, or blow the money on an entry fee for a race.
They entered the race, of course. The Dukes always did have thier priorities straight. Heh heh.
Ya know, with that NASCAR stint the boys did, you'd think they woulda brought home a few bucks. I guess they gave it all to the orphanage.
Brian
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There are times when my HazzardNet duties take me to the seedier side of the internet. And so I ventured over to what passes for the "official" site of Broken Lizard, to see if there were any references to the Dukes movie. I figured they'd be doing some heavy-duty bragging, what with their buddy Jay being the director.
I only found one official comment, posted by one of the BL gang back in December:
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kevin, 4 months ago (12/16/04 11:13AM PST):
Howdy Amigos and Amigettes,
Just got back from the Dukes of Hazzard set in Baton Rouge. Shot a small part. (Everyone's getting some face time. It's Lemme's turn today.) Jay's doing a great job down there. And I think we've injected it with some good BL flavor. Knoxville and SW Scott are hilarious.
But now it's back to work on the next BL flick. We've been writing away and hope to get going right after J's done with Dukes. Next up... Beerfest!
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How 'bout that, the BL group gets face time. Pat yerselves on the back a little harder!
Anyhow, of the Broken Lizard fan comments that followed - all 218 entries - most are thoughtless obscenities and vulgarisms having nothing to do with the thread. (This is typical for that crowd.) But I did find one post worth sharing, to show ya'll the mindset:
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Jess, 4 months ago (12/16/04 9:24PM PST):
In reply to RJ:
Y'know, if BL wasn't involved, there'd be NO WAY IN HELL I would ever see the Dukes of Hazzard movie. But now I have to. Thanks a lot.
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So, this is how the other half lives. Now, I was all set to join that board and see if there were any true Dukes fans hiding in fear over there - but the BL boards are not accepting new users. Given the crowd they've currently got, I'm not surprised. In fact, I refuse to post a link to the site, because it's just....bad. It's not funny, not amusing, not witty. It's like a bunch of graffiti without the artistic value.
There's no place like home.
Brian
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Happy Birthday MaryAnne! On this special day, I'd just like to say a big THANK YA for all you do for HazzardNet, and DOHFF.com, and for being the special friend n' cousin you are. You're 01 of a kind.
Long may you patrol Hazzard County. I hope this year brings you the best o' everything.
Brian
P.S. By the way, there's a little-bitty problem with your pension. Seems it got voted down in the county bond election.... heheheheh.
Jessica Simpson's Posterior
in Dukes of Hazzard Movies
Posted
I guess time will tell on that one, eh? *OINK* BOOOOM!!
On a serious note ( before I get cans of Skoal winged at my head by Jessica fans ) it does seem that Jessica is very concerned about staying in shape. So much so, that according to spy-witness reports by our Louisiana cousins, Jessica routinely purges 15 minutes after eating. Sad. Her ribs can be counted in movie pics we've seen. ( And the fan response to those pics, for the most part, was a big lusty yeeehaaaw. )
Catherine Bach was slender, but she didn't look like she'd starved herself to get that way, know what I mean?
I wasn't going to go here, but since I am.....the same issue of Star had Jessica on the front cover, along with Jennifer Aniston, both in bikinis. The caption blared, "Skin & Bones! Why Stars Go Too Far."
And then later in the very same issue, they give Jessica the "Best Butt Award" and laud her efforts for making a great future for her behind.
Hollywood.....thhhbpth!!
Brian