Brian Coltrane
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Posts posted by Brian Coltrane
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"Yer right." Brian reached for the shotglass of whiskey and swallowed half of it down, gritting his teeth as the liquor burned his throat. He confessed the reason for his risk-taking with a quiet drawl. "Ya see, MaryAnne had taken Chet outta town, while Rosco escorted me out, and the Strates took Alex in another direction. With the promise that if the three of us hoodlums were caught in town again...."
Illustrating the penalty with a finger across his neck, Brian continued. "But despite that, ah had to come back and make sure MaryAnne returned to town in one piece. I don't like Chet...and ah don't like the fact MaryAnne rode out there alone with him. Whether he was slung over the saddle like a sack of grits or not."
Pausing to finish the whiskey, Brian licked the alcohol from his lips and then asked the obvious question. "Either of y'all seen her come back yet?"
(cue Chance/Min - we'll get back to the rest of y'all soon, thank ya)
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Call me biased, but I think our collection on HazzardNet is halfway decent. Go to our homepage ( just click "HazzardNet Home" at the menu above the forums, here) and then find the link to the Photo Gallery on the left-hand side of the homepage. There is also a drop-down menu at the top right of the homepage, with navigation to all the assorted stuff we've thrown in to our amuse ourselves.
If you're looking for movie pics, you'll find a few dozen links in our Movie section - which is also accessible from our homepage.
Enjoy!
Brian
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"Mmmmphf!" Min's enthusiastic kiss took Brian by surprise, but he recovered with a wide grin the moment he was allowed air again. "I'm happy to see you too," he said, giving the buxom saloon girl a warm once-over with his eyes. "I'm long overdue for a friendly.....face."
He then stooped down to retrieve his low-brimmed black hat and replace it on his head. Straightening, he turned his gaze towards the lady gambler, and reached up to touch the brim of his hat in a polite greeting, giving her a slight bow. "Good to see you again, ma'am," he intoned with a soft drawl.
(cue Chance! Sorry, just had to sneak in there.)
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Ewe ain't seen mutton yet.....
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This place needs a moderator! Where the hell is MaryAnne.....
Anyway, this guy from the suburbs was driving through the back country one day, and he sees some weirdo in a field doing sinful things with a sheep. Mortified, he parks in front of the farmhouse and runs up to the door, pounding on it. "Hey! Hey! There's somebody out there molesting your sheep!" he yells.
A kid opens up the door and says, "That's just my da-a-a-a-a-ad."
Brian
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Yeah, we try to limit the use of @#$%&*! and %$&*! and %*#&$! We're above that sorta thang.
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Brian made the return trip to Hazzard as carefully as possible. Once nearing town, he guided Damascus to ride close other travelers, blending himself in with families and cowhands. A lone outlaw was easy to spot, but a black-clad rider who rode unhurried, and mixed and chatted with honest folk, seemed above suspicion.
He rued the extra time the approach took, but he hadn't lived this long by being a fool. He had no desire to have the Hazzard law make good on its parting threats.
And so Damascus trotted into Hazzard with the rest of the mid-day activity, following a stagecoach into the town square. When it stopped in front of the boarding house, Brian kept Damascus moving through town at a casual pace, forcing himself to appear relaxed and confident, though he wanted nothing more than a dark alley to hide in. The good news was, no one would expect him to be dumb enough to immediately ride back into town in broad daylight. Therefore, no one would be looking for him. The comfort of cold logic did little to quell his criminal nerves, but he had to know if MaryAnne had made it back to town safely. Even at the expense of his neck.
But when Brian spotted the cousins Duke outside of the Hazzard jailhouse, his heart ran down the stairs of his sternum, tripped, and fell into his gut with a cold splash. If they spotted him, they could give him away. He reined in Damascus with a subtle tug, staying beneath the overhanging roof of a nearby building, and waited in the shadows.
It was clear by the way Bo and Luke were calling and searching, that the Hazzard law wasn't home. Brian watched as they shrugged to each other, re-mounted thier horses, and rode off towards the blacksmith's shop.
Exhaling a slow breath, Brian tugged down his hat brim a bit lower, and nudged Damascus forward at a walk. The law was out to lunch and it was clear the Dukes were going to their blacksmith friend for news. And though Brian had a pretty good idea of MaryAnne's last known direction, he wasn't sure if his conjectures were correct. Some information would be good about now...
....and there was no place like a saloon to get it. The black horse guessed Brian's intent with the pull of the reins, and high-stepped over to it. Maybe after his rider staggered from the saloon, there would be more sugar.
With this thought in the equine mind, Damascus trotted up to the saloon. He dunked his large head into the water trough and guzzled a long drink, while Brian looped the reins loosely around the horse's neck and dismounted. The black-clad outlaw walked quietly up the planked steps, moved sideways thorugh the swinging doors, and glided up to the bar before anyone could take undue notice of him....
....save for the two women who were gawking at him in stunned surprise.
( Cue Min, Chance or anybody anywhere!)
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Hmm...you're on the right track, but I'd go with something more dramatic or funky. Red cars lend themselves to certain themes. Maybe like....I dunno...Firebolt, Fireball, Rage, Red Devil.... things like that.
Naming model cars is good practice. You'll have some cool ideas for names by the time you get your first real car.
Have fun!
Brian
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Howdy ya'll !
Just wondering what brought people to DukesFest the most. If you went to DukesFest - or even if you didn't, but wanted to - tell us what the number one attraction was for ya.
Thanks!
Brian
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Cap'n, you'll have to forgive BamaMama. He's hopelessly outmatched, so fallin' back to four-letter words is about all he can do to fight back.
I'd ban the guy, but this is probably the only place he gets any real sass back. I can't take that away from him, as it's essential to his social development.
Brian
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Eh, I think fans the world over - and even some that have never been Dukes fans before - will see this movie just for the stunts. WB did not make the movie to appeal to the die hards. They made it to appeal to an audience that would have otherwise nevah went to a Dukes of Hazzard movie.
They figured us die hards would see it anyway, no matter what they did. This way, they double the box office take from the measily millions the existing fandom alone would have brought.
This thought occurred to me as I re-read about the new CMT VP of DOH. Despite original advertisements, they were never looking for a "dedicated fan" with "a passion for the Dukes of Hazzard." No, not at all. In fact, a CMT bigwig, James Hitchcock, was quoted in a CNN article as follows:
"More important than rabid fanaticism, (said Hitchcock,) was an ability to bring enjoyment and understanding of "Dukes" to those who were not, themselves, fans of the show."
In other words, not to represent the Dukes fandom that exists. Rather, to bring in those who ain't already fans, to the fold...and appealing to them by whatever means necessary. WB and CMT figure there's no ditching the original fans. What they want is a bigger audience. And they are willing to repackage the DOH image in order to get it.
Smarmy bastards.
Brian
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Depends on the reporter. Would you want La Bamamedia interviewing YOU more than once?! Man, I'd disclaim anything to avoid that.
Brian
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Bamamediaschmedia, that remark is offensive. We have a several HazzardNet folk who have "sheep" as a part of their handle. Why not pick on yer own species, once it's properly identified, quarantined, tagged, and we're all inoculated against it?
Any of ewe that think sheep jokes are funny are just plain ba-a-a-a-a-ad.
Brian
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Friend of Sheep Everywhere
Defender of small domestic animals
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Opinions are great, that's one of the things that makes this world diverse. But there's a fine line between honest opinion and outright bashing. And as long as we're on the subject of opinions, here's one of mine: I think those who want to trash a movie they haven't even seen yet, or want to bash anything concerning the Dukes, should go start their own forum somewhere else and leave this one for the objective fans with open minds.
Nobody needs to start their own forum someplace else, just 'cause they don't agree with the majority. ( whatever the majority happens to be.) And look at the bright side; we only got about 2 more months of movie anticipation before it hits theaters. Afterwards, people can get even more specific about what they can't stand. Or , they can get specific about why the movie is the best thing that ever happened to them. We ain't seen nothin' yet....literally!
Brian
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Tom, the Anti-Duke, appears on the Season 3 DVD extra. So much fer 'dat.
Brian
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While MaryAnne and Chet rode back to town, BlackJack and his gang were sizing up Alex. The gunslinger had listened to Alex's questions with a scowl, and then debated a moment on whether to explain things to the drifter, or simply kill him outright.
Fortunately for Alex, BlackJack needed the extra help for his backup plan. "I've got a job for you, blondie," BlackJack replied. "One that won't even get your hands dirty."
The gang chuckled at this, and BlackJack gave an evil smile to Alex. "All I want you to do, is drive a covered wagon into town tonight. Me and the boys will be riding inside of it. Our horses will be tethered behind it. You'll be wearing the clothes of the settler we killed this morning, so nobody will recognize you. "
BlackJack paused to let this much sink in, then continued. "Once me and the boys are done with our social call upon the Hazzard law, we'll be on our horses and gone. If you do exactly as you're told....you'll live."
BlackJack didn't bother to explain what would happen if Alex messed up. It didn't really matter, as BlackJack intended to kill the blonde drifter when he was done with him anyway.
(Cue Alex)
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I'll cut him some slack on the fictional character approach. Even though I didn't care for the character. The "Slick" character got him noticed online, and gave him a degree of notoriety. Even if you didn't like "Slick" you managed to remember him.
From what I hear tell, it was the application itself with some promotional suggestions that made him the winner. Not the character or the webpage. Both were dismantled rapidly. ( But if they had to be dismantled, how could this represent the "winning entry" if it was that objectionable? I'll never understand the media as long as I live.)
Personally, I'm a little disappointed that they only interviewed 3 people out of 2000. And I don't recall anything in the application looking for "ideas." They were looking for a dedicated fan, was the impression I had. If any of us had known they were looking for ideas, the other 1999 of us would have approached the application a little differently.
If it's any comfort, the winner was strolling around DukesFest in his CMT baseball cap and over-large sunglasses, and from the brief observation I had....was being largely ignored by everyone. I also saw him gawkin' around in the hotel lobby, and despite the number of Dukes fans that were staying in the same digs, nobody rushed him there, either. Ah, fickle fame. Maybe after he's had his face on a few more CMT promos, he'll be better recognized.
On the positive side, this guy really is a Dukes fan, and he has some creativity. He might do a good job, so we'll have to wait and see.
Brian
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The General Lee jump and the patrol car jump on Sunday could only be described with one word: Wild.
The General hit the ramp damn fast, launched up like a rocket, and tilted nose-down in mid-air abruptly. It landed hard on the nose with a savage crunch, flipped end over end, landed on the roof and skated across the grass upside-down...then caught on fire. Everybody in the crowd gasped for breath because it looked pretty bad.
The emergency crew put out the fire in seconds, but nobody in the crowd moved until Corey got out of that car and stood up. Talk about relief!
The patrol car jump was amazing, too. The car leapt from the ramp at an odd angle, did a barrel-roll in mid-air, and crashed through a parked panel truck while it was upside down in mid-flight. Craziest thing I've ever seen. It was, as Rosco would put it, a "horrendous crash." Spectacular, though!
MeadowMufn caught a part of both jumps on video, which has been posted on DukesFest.com. ( viewable with QuickTime player.)
More soon!
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Great pics and a good blog there. I noticed on Sunday that John kept letting in a few more fans at a time for autographs, long after he was supposed to be done for the day. Not only that, but when the General Lee jump was scheduled to start, John waved away his support staff, and told them, "Go watch the jump!" He sent away his own help. How cool is that?
John seemed to be enjoying the heck outta himself at DukesFest. The weather was brutally hot, the lines were insane, and I'm sure he could have took off whenever he felt like saying "enough" and hid inside some air conditioning. Instead, he stayed and signed autographs, and he was as pleasant and cordial as could be. Terrific guy.
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Per the Bristol Herald-Courier newspaper, attendance at DukesFest for Saturday numbered over 25,000 people. I believe it, after taking a good look at the parking lot yesterday. The good news is, the Bristol Motor Speedway is set up for huge crowds. There's two seperate tracks and grandstands - one for the NASCAR half-mile, and one for the dragstrip. Plenty of open space in the middle.
I got some decent pics of some of the cars n' such, which I'll upload soon. Unfortunately, I haven't been doing as well with getting cast pictures. No matter where I am on the grounds, there's stuff going on someplace else that I manage to miss.
One of the coolest things about being here, is being surrounded by like-minded folk who love the Dukes of Hazzard and openly display that passion. It's great to see General Lees crusing the hotel parking lot, entire families running around in orange t-shirts and Hazzard gear. The little kids, most of all, are what make it special.
What's amazing is the number of brand new fans that surfaced from the CMT airing. A lot of "first timers" are here this weekend. For some of us, this is DukesFest number three, four, or five. Then there's the folks who have never had a chance to see Rosco, or see a General Lee up close. These shindigs are a lot of work for Ben and the crew, and for all the General Lee owners, ect, but it's worth it to see that smile on a kid's face.
Awright....I have to get away from the laptop and get back to the shindig. More later!
Brian
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Ya know, maybe Hollywood is freaking out for nothing with this whole rebel flag thing. Somehow, the thousands at DukeFest this weekend don't seem too squeamish about a confederate flag.
It's true that the flag has been misused by hate groups and therefore has negative connotations for many people.
But in this day and age, the rebel flag seems to represent the "spirit of the south" ala Dukes of Hazzard. It's a matter of perception, of course, and I'm not suggesting that anyone turns a blind eye to history. But given the worldwide recognition of the Dukes of Hazzard, if anyone was going to have a material fit about the flag, there has been more than ample opportunity since 1979.
They might as well remove the "Dixie" horn from the General Lee if they're that dang worried.
Brian
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All I can say is...holy cow, what a crowd! Huge turnout. CMT has been filming and interviewing all over the place.
As far as the biggest draw, it's hard to say whether the autograph opportunites with John and Cathy were the prime interest - or, if the "Ride in a General Lee" opportunity is what brought 'em in.
The "Ride in a General Lee" attraction had lines that ran between 4 and 5 hours long. And this was with a fleet of General Lees running on the track. But the once-in-a-lifetime chance seemed worth the wait to those I spoke to.
There's no doubt that "Bo Duke" hasn't lost a thing in charisma. The tickets for autographs went pretty quick - I'd say within an hour of the gates opening. Same thing with Cathy.
Between the number of General Lee's on the grounds, and the number of people wearing " 01 " shirts, Bristol Motor Speedway has been a sea of orange. And the continual blare of "Dixie" horns is unforgettable.
Weather has been hot. I'm sunburned so much that I could use a marker and put an "01" on my forehead, just to take advantage of the color.
This is kinda short, for as much that is going on - just thought I'd fire off a quick postcard, of sorts. I'm fortunate enough to have a hotel room with high-speed internet. Yeehaaa!
Brian
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Congratulations to "Slick ", a/k/a Christopher Nelson, who was awarded the CMT VP gig. Formal announcement to be made at DukesFest, but CNN hit the wire with it this morning, so what the hell.
There were 2000 fans who applied for the position. The creative, "Slick for VP" campaign stood Christopher Nelson out from the crowd. Sal-ute!
Brian
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Well, I had to pick up the latest copy of "US" since it's in the line of my official HNet duties. There are several bikini pictures of Jessica washing the General Lee. I think the upcoming music video will be of interest to a few of y'all, based in the following passage in the article:
" What's the difference between Jessica Simpson, and the brazen sexpot she plays in the upcoming comedy Dukes of Hazzard? Judging by her behavior at the May 19 shoot for her soundtrack video, the answer is.... nothing."
"Wearing a Harley-Davidson t-shirt cut right below her breasts, and short, tight, denim cutoffs, red boots and a hat, the buxom singer gamely jumped on top of a bar and danced sexily in full view of the adoring video crew and cowboy extras. This, just a day after she donned a tiny pink bikini and got drenched while washing the famed General Lee."
I figure Playboy is already callin' her for a centerfold shoot. Of course, if she's posing on the General, a good number of copies will sell just onconna the car.
Brian
Jessica Simpson' s new video
in Dukes of Hazzard Movies
Posted
BAAA-HAHAHA! Well, we've achieved a new low. And now, so long as we're in the gutter....here's somethin' that should appeal to everybody!