Brian Coltrane
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Posts posted by Brian Coltrane
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I'm gonna recommend a couple o' flicks for all us motorheads. Most of these will not be Oscar nominated movies...but hell, we're Dukes fans, so critical acclaim ain't no concern.
For a Hazzard-esque feel, sans moonshine, I recommend a little-known movie called "Eat My Dust", starring Ron Howard, circa 1976. Rated PG by the standards in the day.
It's my own opinion that some of the Dukes writers borrowed a little bit from the look and feel of this movie. There's a scene in particular that will be instantly familair - where an orange car goes barreling around in a field, spitting up clouds of dust to confound a police cruiser. It looks so much like the end credits scene in the Dukes eps, I can't get over it.
The plot of this movie is easy to enjoy. The son of a country Sheriff rips off a stock car right from the racetrack, in order to impress a girl. He picks up his friends and they all go screaming around the county in a joyride. This jaunt results in the predictable property damage and the destruction of several police vehicles.
It's lighthearted, easy entertainment, with an ending that leaves ya smiling.
One word of caution: In the VHS copy I purchased a few years back, the intro with other previews contained some unexpected surprises. Such as low-grade 70's era porn previews. Hello! I'm not sure if the same previews are repeated on the DVD, but you might wanna fast forward to the actual movie before bringin' in the family.
Brian
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Must be one of 'dem Yankee boys.
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BAHAHAHA!! I think some people are looking at it now and saying WTF...
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Eh, I dunno. Moonrunners was a gritty flick. With the car themes, it was sort of a "Smokey and the Bandit" meets "Deliverance." I find Moonrunners noteworthy for it's historical value to the Dukes of Hazzard; but if it hadn't been followed by the Dukes of Hazzard; the movie itself would have been forgettable.
Brian
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You're "01" of a kind.
But yer not alone. I think Hazzard County represents a place in all of our hearts, that was there before there was a name for it. We all express it differently. Some of us have a Dixie horn in our cars; some folks build crazy websites dedicated to the show; others go on life-quests to find a Charger to paint orange.
One things for sure, we're all easy to pick out from a crowd....but a crowd of us makes for a helluva good time!
Brian
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The long black car made a slow circuit around the parking lot before finding a spot next to the General Lee. Deliberately, the black Chevy parked it's passenger side close to the orange Charger, giving anyone climbing into the General's driver side a tough time of it.
The Chevy's driver stepped out, pleased with his early mischief. Any free beer night at the Boar's Nest meant free fights, and Brian had showed up late on purpose. The Duke's relfexes ought to be just a little slower by now, whereas Brian himself was cold sober. He walked towards the Boar's Nest entrance, shoulders squared and spine straight, anticipating an evening's rowdy entertainment.
But he forgot all about the free beer, the Dukes, and anything else, with one glance at the red motorcycle and the wild-looking blonde woman who straddled it. She was tall, lithe-bodied, wearing riding leathers and holding a motorcycle helmet. And Lord help him, her elegant face was turned in his direction, a sensuous hello-who-are-you smile curving her red-tinted lips.
Brian walked towards her, compelled, fascinated by the sight of those long legs holding up the motorcycle. He kept his approach easy, casual, his leather jacket hanging open at the shoulders. He avoided reaching up to brush back the tuft of brown hair that always hung over his temple; but the instinct to preen himself was pulling at him. Too late, though....she had already seen him as he was. Black-clothed, dark-eyed, and predatory; not the kind of man most girls in Hazzard County wanted a damn thing to do with....
Except her smile grew wider as he approached, as if she'd known he'd come to her. She was tall, confident, and unafraid as he came to stand next to her. All at once, Brian realized who she was; he had heard the stories of the race, which he had missed during his foray to Atlanta. Looking at her now, he was sorry he missed it.
She was staring at him with that smile; waiting for him to say something.
Brian glanced down at the motorcycle. He reached out to touch the new paint, brushing his fingertips over it in admiration. "Nice bike," he said with a smooth Atlantan drawl. "But are you really as fast...as they say you are?"
He ended the words with a cavalier smile. His dark eyes drifted up from the bike, giving her a deep gaze.
(cue Chance)
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Howdy there, General Hogfan, welcome to HazzardNet!
I have to admit: Your flag is bigger than mine. Heh heh!
Anyhow, make yerself at home. Enjoy!
Brian
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Speed Racer
in TV
Awright, let's see if anybody 'fesses up to ever seeing this one. This is a 60's-era Japanese cartoon, with English voice-overs. The star-car of this show was the "Mach 5", which was a futuristic race car with gadgets galore. Pretty much, it looked more or less like a white, convertible Corvette with a red "M" on the hood and a "5" on the door.
The Mach 5 was supposed to be a race car. ( Did you know, " racecar" spelled backwards, is "racecar?" ) Anyhow, for a racecar, it was equipped iwth ridiculous features that had no practical NASCAR application, yet came in handy in every race.
This is because the young hero of this series had a propensity to attract the attention of sophisticated assassins. Which was the coolest thing about this show. Yes kids, we're talkin' stock cars armed with machine-guns, and merciless ninja motorcycle gangs. Yeeehaaaa.
The animation was average, the plots were cheesy, and the escapes were improbable. But the sound effects were cool. Looking back, the Mach 5 probably paved the way for some of the car-gadgetry ideas later seen in James Bond movies, and of course, Knight Rider.
Brian
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Howdy, JulieDuke -
Yeah, it'd be great if my car could drive me home, in the event I had been out on the town and had too much to drink. 'Cept for one thing; it all comes down to whether or not I could trust the car.
My car would amble down some godforsaken back road at 3 a.m., and then trigger the ejector seat and send me sprawling into a cornfield. I'd wake up the next day thinking a twister had hit.
And is 325 mph any advantage, when the car can drive itself? For example, what am I going to do, if I want to go down the block for a hamburger, but the car decides that it would rather go to Boise, Idaho? I'd end up in Boise pretty darn fast. (Unless the ejector seat got activated en route, and then I'd have a new career as an astronaut.)
Brian
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RJ, I know what ya mean. The overall look of the car - stance of the wheelbase, the design of the chassis - speaks for it's street presence. But it's a good idea to have somethin' decent under the hood that compliments the exterior.
MaryAnne, to reply to yer post while I'm at it .... yeah, your car probably would behave, if it was self-automated. Except for a few things:
It would constantly be running itself through car washes, and admiring it's own reflection in store windows.
If the paint got scratched, it would hightail itself over to an autobody shop and blow the horn until it was let in.
If it saw a parade, it would jump in line and join it.
Man, talk about vanity plates.
Brian
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As a Hazzard County cop, Enos does play in traffic.
Behold, the power o' suggestion.
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Having a car that could drive itself would be neat to certain point. Like if the weather was bad, and the car brought itself to the door for ya. Or you could send the car out on errands, while you stayed home to enjoy another episode of Dukes of Hazzard.
The downside is, not all self-automated automobiles would be as obedient as KITT.
My own car, if self-automated, would probably wander off for an oil change at inopportune moments and leave me stranded. It would also play tricks on me, like re-parking itself once I walk into the store. I also wouldn't be surprised if it bullied small cars and chased them away from gas pumps.
The ultimate worst-case scenario is the car getting more tickets on it's own, then I do with it. Try telling that one to the judge.
Brian
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Maybe Enos took more than one lemon while he was talking to Daisy?
Maybe the lemon is a metaphorical analogy for the respective worth of any vehicle on Ace Parker's car lot?
Maybe somebody once told Enos to "go suck a lemon" and he took it as daily nutritional advice?
How much can we squeeze out of this lemon question?
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Brian watched MaryAnne ride off with Chet and his horse in tow. There was nothing but cold business in MaryAnne's demeanor; and Brian guessed that Chet was just as well off, being unconcious.
Try as he might, Brian wasn't sure of the direction MaryAnne was heading for. This troubled him; he wasn't keen on the idea of MaryAnne riding off alone with the rustler, and he would have no way of helping her.
He also wouldn't know what direction Chet would be coming from, should the erstwhile Duke decide to intercept an enemy.
Hell, Brian didn't know what direction he was going to be headed for. He opened his mouth to make a wiseacre remark to the Sheriff, thinking to question Rosco's grasp of east vs. west.
But one look into the Sheriff's eyes, and Brian shut up. He had no interest in being flung over his horse like a sack of grits for the ride.
(Cue anybody!)
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Thank for the report, LMD! Man, what an awesome experience that's gotta be, bein' an extra on the set.
Don't forgot, John Schneider was a mere extra in Smokey and the Bandit, and things turned out pretty good for him afterwards!
Have fun!
Brian
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I always wanted Clyde as buddy when I was kid...
Well, now you've got us.
Brian
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Knock 'em dead, LMD! We're all jealous as hell, ya know. Congrats!!
Brian
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I'm a big fan of the Eastwood westerns, but I dug this movie as well. It's been a long time since I've seen it; but if I recall correctly, there was a biker gang in this, and the gang leader was the same dude who played Augie Detweiller in the Dukes episode, "Hazzard Connection." (season two.)
This flick was something like "BJ and The Bear" meets Hell's Angels. The fight scenes were pretty good from what I remember.
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Someone, and something, did.
Upon hearing Cooter's information about gang threatening Garrett and Kristy, Brian briefly conferred with the Hazzard law. There was no sense in everyone rushing up the stairs; the gang would pick them off one by one. And the last thing the gang upstairs would tolerate was the sight of any police officers. "You'd be shot on sight," Brian told the law. "But I got an idea."
Quickly, he explained his plan. Without waiting for full approval, Brian turned and walked quietly up the stairs, alone. His black boots made just enough noise to announce his arrival, without being too aggressive.
As he mounted the last step, Brian turned to look directly at Garrett and Dane, his eyes quickly taking in the scene. Sure enough, Kristy was in the holding cell, Garrett looked to be going on a one-way ride. An imposing-looking crime boss was staring back at Brian while the thugs began to go for weapons.
"Reee-lax," Brian drawled. "I'm in on it. I just took the job for some easy cash." He kept walking, unruffled, letting his body language, clothing and attitude show him as a fellow criminal. "Though I still think we shoulda shot the whole @#%&* bunch. What's a few more bodies?"
Brian walked up to Garrett and Dane as close as he thought he could get away with. He addressed the troubled Duke as if they were old associates. "Before you run off with your buddies, Garrett....how about you pony up the dough?"
With these words, Brian tapped a boot several times against the floor, as if impatient. What he was really doing, was counting off the number of thugs who were present, knowing it would carry to the ears of those downstairs....
(cue anybody!)
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"We'll find out in a minute, ah'm sure." Brian's face becamse serious again. "Still, there's a chance Chet could trail one of us. He just can't cherry-pick which one he's followin', not knowin' the directions."
After a pause, the black-clad Coltrane made an offer. "Tell you what, Alex. I'll make a pact with you heah and now. If that Duke cowpie picks up your tracks, and manages to bushwhack you on the trail..."
Brian glanced darkly in Chet's direction. "...then I'll find him, if I have to ride through the streets of Hell. And you'll be avenged...ah swear it. I only ask that you'd do the same for me."
(cue Alex.......)
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The errant Duke slumped to the floor of his cell. Ordinarily, Brian wouldn't have been displeased at the sight. But he understood Chet's motive; the rustler didn't want to be hunted down.
He wanted to do the hunting.
However, Chet had made a serious error in knocking himself out, and Brian started to laugh as he realized it. He gripped the bars, threw back his head, and laughed like a maniac. "KHEEHAHAHAHA!!BAHAHAHA!!"
When he noticed that Alex was watching with genuine alarm, Brian explained. "Reeelax, drifter. It's obvious Chet wanted to be the last to go, since he knows our directions and he can pick up our trail. But there's just one thang."
Brian turned to look towards the Hazzard law. "Ya see....MaryAnne is tough, but she's fair. And if she's really serious about givin' us all a sportin' chance to get away from each other....or kill each other later...she'll change those directions, now. One of us will go west instead of Chet...the other will go in an opposite direction than originally stated."
Giving a grim smile, Brian waited for Alex's reaction.....
(cue Alex! )
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The CA studio filming took place in Burbank at the WB studios, and the chase scenes were filmed in Lake Sherwood CA, and later Valencia, CA.
That about covers it! We'll have a whole new round of trivia when the new movie is out....and then MaryAnne and I aren't gonna know diddily-squat anymore. Thankfully, we're quick studies. Heh!
Brian
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Whose patrol car was whose didn't matter, because none of the cars lasted long enough for Rosco or Enos to get attached to them. I think Rosco took the better of the two, or whichever one Flash was sitting in. The bigger question might be, how did Flash tell the cars apart?!
By the way Jamanda - HazzardNet lets you have an ID absolutely free of charge, so ya'll can go ahead and each have yer own. If you want. Unless you're literally attached at the hip or somethin'. Well, it's good for families to do stuff together! Like visit HazzardNet!
Brian
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I'm cautiously optimistic about the movie. I know we're not gonna agree with everything in it - but that's good, because the original Dukes will remain as popular as ever. There's no outshining the original, so the hell with it, let's enjoy the movie for what it is.
I'm probably the most interested in seeing the General fly on the big screen, and seein' some vehicular mayhem. The last few "car flicks" outta Hollywood have been too slick and polished, for my tastes. ( The rice-burners in the Fast & Furious flicks just don't do it for me. Those movies had their moments, but it's just not the same feel.)
I'm predicting that the Dukes movie will be.... 01 at the box office this summer.
Brian
American Graffiti
in Movies
Posted
Filmed in 1973, starring Ron Howard, Harrison Ford, Wolfman Jack, Cindy Williams, Suzanne Somers. Written and directed by George Lucas. Rated PG.
This movie is a stand-alone masterpiece among any "car flick" movie out there; primarily because it takes you back in time so effectively. The period is 1962; the stages are car hops, street drags, high school dances and late-night crusing. It's worth watching this movie for the cars alone; but the performances of the cast prove why these actors grew such great careers.
Because many people are already familiar with this movie - and I don't wanna ruin it for anybody who hasn't seen it yet - I'm not gonna rehash the premise. I will say, however, that I wish this movie would have ended itself five minutes sooner....rather than going into the "where are they now" epilogue at the end.
Brian