I'm very sorry for you; I lost my mum last year in June. We had a quite good relationship, we lived together with my dad, too, but we surely haven't that type of relation we see on tv and in Dukes stories. There's nothing you can do to cancel what it has been, so don't be angry for that, it's unuseful. Remember the good things that, i'm sure, you had together even if only for once time. And, if you don't like to talk...write, on a paper, on a blog: it helps, believe me. Bye