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SIPPIN' SHINE (Hobie needs it for medicinal purposes)

UNDERCOVER Dukes(Part 1 & 2)

EGGSACTLY what I was thinking! Before you know it, you'll all see me on the back Ridges of Hazzard Co. keeping those Ridges HOT!!

Jesse let out a grunt as he rose from his front porch chair, his knees were not too pleased that the sit-down rest was so brief. He walked into the kitchen and yelled for Daisy. When there was no response he yelled again louder but still nothing. "What in the world is going on around this place?" He asked out loud as he was walking toward the CB and then keyed up the mic. "Shepherd to lost sleep. Shepherd to lost sheep. Ya got yer ears on?" Once again he waited for a response and once again got none. "This here is Shepherd calling the lost sheep. Now if you boys don't answer right away I'm coming to look for you." A response crackled over the airway "Um, excuse me Mr. Uncle Jesse but I just saw the General Lee heading to town along Old River Road." Jesse recognized Cooter's voice. "Was Daisy with them?" "Well sir, I couldn't rightly tell, I was busy pulling Swamp Molly out of the ditch and didn't git a close look." Jesse sighed "Thanks Cooter. If you see them again flag 'em down and tell 'em to turn their CB on....or maybe it's broke." "Will do Uncle Jesse. Crazy Cooter out" Jesse grabbed his red hat off the hook that he had placed there only a few minutes ago. He walked out of the house and into his truck muttering to himself "It's probably just the radio but ya never with them boys. Besides, rumor has it Boss Hogg has been hanging out with some outta town folks. That's never good. I'd better go check it out. Stones, dirt and dust flew from under his back tires when he hit the gas.

Balladeer:"Long about this time, ol' Boss an' Rosco were arriving back in town at the Courthouse." Rosco:"Can you believe the nerve of them little fat buddy, telling you to shut up and all that stuff?" Boss:"Rosco I want you to go back and spy on those rogues, and when the coast is clear, sabotage their mangy cars! Ha ha ha! They'll be sorry they crossed me! Them and that sad sorry Duke will all be behind bars 'til the cows come home!" Rosco:"Oooh goodie! Don't you worry about a thing Boss. I'll cuff 'em an' stuff 'em! Khee khee khee I love it I love it, police work's my life!" Boss:"Get on it you lamebrain knuckleheaded dodo!" Rosco:"Oooh that's not nice!" Boss:"Oooh will you just go already!" Rosco:"I'm gone! Khee khee khee!" Boss(to self after Rosco leaves.)"So are Bill, Ernie an' that dang Duke Boy!" Rosco shows back up. Ernie:"Bill, Garrett, don't look now but here comes that brainless Sheriff again." CUE ROGER OR GARRETT

Keep us updated. You're a tough old ridgerunner. You'll be fine. Just get out that Finest you've been saving for *wink wink* medicinal purposes.

Silence fills the air as the spotless white Cadillac comes to a halt and the driver promptly hops out of the driver's seat to hold open the door as a short round man dressed in a white three piece suit slowly steps out with his signature cigar wrapped tightly with his thick finger. Taking a few steps towards the men working on cars before coming to a halt as the sound of a loud car coming towards them clouds the silent farm land only for his sheriff's car to quickly pull in behind the Cadillac, barely missing it. "Numbskull," he mutters before turning to face the men with the cars and begins to walk towards them once more. "Nice afternoon, fellas," he states to break the silence as the sheriff's car door slams shut behind him, "I'm Commissioner J.D. Hogg. I run this nice town of Hazzard." "Well Boss," Garrett is the first to speak up with an ornery look on his face, "that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." "Garrett!" Boss yells angrily, "I was talking to them," he points to Bill and Ernie with his cigar, "not you!" "You hush, Garrett," Sheriff Coltrane says from behind Boss, "he wasn't talking to you!" Boss stares at his sheriff momentarily. "Nice of you to finally join me," he states to him before turning to Bill and Ernie, "Now boys," he pauses dramatically, "rumor has it, y'all are a big name in that big racing community." "You mean, in NASCAR?" Garrett says with a sly smile. "Will you stay out of this, Duke?!" Boss scolds him, "What are you doing here with the likes of them anyway?" Garrett looks at them coldly for a long moment. "I don't know how to respond that. You tell me to stay out of this," Garrett motions around at Bill and Ernie before turning around to face Boss and Rosco, " and then ask me a question?" "Oh never mind you. You wouldn't understand if I were to ask what you're dumb name is," Hogg angrily responds to Garrett, "anyway. Let's forget about him." "Nah, I don't want to forget him," Ernie interrupts Hogg to earn an angry dark look from the man in white, "I like him. He's nice. You don't seem so nice with your attitude and name calling." Rosco begins to laugh before Hogg turns his angry glare upon him. "OK you hush you big city man," Rosco snaps after seeing Hogg's look, "Boss Hogg is the commissioner of this nice town and he is to be respected and liked." "This nice town?" Ernie questions, "If it was a nice town, y'all would have your trees trimmed so we could see the stop signs and we'd be receiving a warm welcoming. Instead of whatever you call this..." "What stop signs covered in trees?" Rosco asks, pretending to care. "You numbskull. This is getting us nowhere!" Hogg snaps at his sheriff before turning back to Bill and Ernie, "As I was saying," he pauses to suck on the butt of his cigar and lets out of a cloud of smoke before continuing, "Rumor has it, y'all got a big name. And I like big names. They attract people. And people attract money. And I like money." Garrett laughs. "Do you even know what they're names are, Boss?" he questions and Hogg glares angrily at him, "I'm just asking, because it seems like you are clueless." "I've been told it's Elliott Bill," Hogg slowly and unsurely responds to receive a laugh from Bill and Ernie before Rosco whispers something in his ear and Hogg forces a smile. "I was wanting to see if y'all were awake or not. Of course I know who he is. It's Bill Elliott, he races cars." "What ya know," Garrett is the first to speak up, "the ol' sheriff does know something. Did Flash tell you?" "You hush, Duke!" Rosco yells at Garrett. "Who is Flash?" Ernie questions, "Sounds like a race car's name!" Rosco laughs. "He's even better than a race car!" he states proudly, "He's my police dog!" Boss rolls his dark eyes. "Gentlemen!" he yells, "I'm here to talk about my race tomorrow, not some dumb dog!" "I beg your pardon. Flash is not dumb. He must be smarter than you to know who Bill Elliott is," Rosco snaps back, "I think you owe him a num-num when we get back to the station." "A num-num?! I'll give you a num-num!" Hogg yells lift up his fat fist before Garrett lighting up a cigarette brings his attention back to Bill and Ernie and he forces a smile. "I'm sorry gentleman. My sheriff doesn't have much of a brain and gets to me sometimes. I'll deal with him later." "Brain or no brain," Ernie grins, "he's still nicer than you have been." "If you don't hush, I'll have my brainless sheriff lock you behind bars!" Boss yells at him and Rosco yanks out his handcuffs with a smile on his face before Boss blocks him, "As I was saying, I'm here to talk about tomorrow's race. I have a big time driver to drive for me -" "You have a big time driver to drive for you?" Garrett is quick to interrupt him, "Now who is that, Boss? Ol' Rosco here?" Boss stares coldly at Garrett. "I told you to stay out of this! I'm not here for the lousy likes of you!" Boss yells, "Never mind. It don't matter, because Rosco here is going to arrest you." "For what?" Garrett asks, eyeing Boss coldly and Boss steps back into Rosco, "For asking who your driver is?" "For being obstinate and getting in the way of justice," Boss spits back at him. "Rosco. Do your job!" "Hold on a minute!" Bill breaks his silence, "Garrett hasn't done anything wrong other than to question you and your foolishness! You lie hands on him, I'll have my lawyer down here so fast you won't know what hits you! By the time he gets down here, he'll have the sheriff's badge and your job!" Boss eyes him. "You wouldn't!" he yells. "I would," Bill confidently states, "what you are doing is wrong and you know it. Even your sheriff knows it. Now step back and put the cuffs away!" Boss slowly nods and motions Rosco to step back and put his cuffs away. "Fine. But our eyes are on you boy. One step out of the line and we'll have you in jail before you can light your filthy cigarette," Hogg threatens Garrett, "in the meantime, you get. I got business to do with Bill here." "I am not here to do business with you or anyone," Bill cuts in, "Garrett was here before you. So if anyone is to leave, it's you and your sorry law." "Well then. I guess I'll tell my driver he still has the job and the paycheck," Boss states smugly. "Oooh, I get a paycheck now too!" Rosco giggles. "Shut up!" Boss yells at him, blowing smoke in his face. "If I was your driver," Bill draws, "I would quit and come race for me tomorrow. No one deserves the lack of respect you show everyone. They are undeserving of your paycheck. I wouldn't want to even touch your paycheck. It's probably as filthy as you are!" Hogg angrily looks around at everyone. "I should have all of you arrested!" he yells before turning and walking back to his car where his driver closes the door behind him. "Come on Rosco. We got practice to do to win that race tomorrow!" Bill, Ernie, and Garrett all watch the two vehicles quickly drive away, throwing dirt from the road behind them. As silence starts to build, they turn back to face each other and their vehicles. "Wow," Ernie breaks the silence, "they're a piece of work." CUE ROGER OR SKIPPER

It's what I'm doing wight now! Quarantining! ( I've got COVID!! ) RIMFIRE RIDGE