Brian Coltrane
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Posts posted by Brian Coltrane
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Don't get me started. The next "most qualified person" was Scott, the president of the Confederate General Lee Fan Club. Who should have got the job, but apparently the CMT panel was looking for an egotistical jerk instead.
They interviewed 3 people out of 2,000 applicants. Not exactly a deep dig for a winner. You'd think for spending 100 grand, CMT would have wanted to make sure they were getting their money's worth. Instead, they've got a socially-remedial hack who can't communicate with other fans, let alone relate to them. One look at the low-volume "Dukes Institute Board", and you'll see weirdness without substance.
The thing I can't get over, is that this guy had no involvement whatsoever in any Dukes fan club, website, message board, email group, ect. He didn't previously particpate in a damn thing to do with the show or its fans. He wasn't watching the show when he applied for the position. I think he was a "Dukes fan" in the same respect that he was a fan of 100 other tv shows. He only became a big Dukes fan for the money.
I've been long-tempted to draw the saber on this guy, but my own standards of professional conduct have kept me from indulging.
Then again....why spare him? This VP guy is getting paid 100 grand to be seen as the epitome of Dukes fans - without the burden of having to know much, care much, or actually deal with anybody unless CMT says he's gotta talk to 'em. Maybe it's time somebody made him earn his bread.
Brian
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I'm gonna write a longer and more thought-out review at a later date. Reason being, I did see the movie half-drunk, as I'd planned, and some of the details are foggy. I'll go see it again, sober. Meanwhile, here's a few thoughts:
A big YEEHAAA for the stunts. Tho' the camera angles were weird at some points; I would have liked to have seen more car-roof vantage points, kinda like in the original series. Some of the close action scenes
were frantic and side-viewed, and the result was a blurry madness that I couldn't quite decipher. Or maybe that was the Mike's Hard Lemonade workin' on me. For the most part these scenes were epic and worth the admission fee right there.
A big BAHAHAHA for the new Bo. SWS was an outrageous nut. This is Bo Duke on crack; wired, emotional, and twitchy. We still saw a kid with a racing dream, though, and that was cool.
A big CHUCKLE on Bo's discovery of the Dixie horn in the repaired General Lee, and his repeated use of it to Luke's annoynance.
A big BOO HISS on the drug innuendo. It didn't add anything to the movie; it didn't need to be there, and it wasn't funny. I get the feeling they toned it down from the original script, but it should have been OUT. I know that drug humor is a Broken Lizard staple, but damn, you'd think they could give up this old crutch for one movie. Especially this one.
A big THANK YOU for leaving Cooter the hell alone and not making him a raving maniac. I think the "Sheev" character took on some of the character elements that were originally intended for Cooter. Good call.
A big YAWN for Rosco. He was mean, but hell, most cops are mean. Big deal. Take Jackie Gleason in "Smokey and the Bandit." Beauford T. Justice was mean, but he was also a creative cusser and a ridiculously tenacious chaser. The new Rosco, in comparison, lacked the comedic, fun-loving and sputtering nature of the original - and brought nothing else to replace it.
A big ERASER for half the script and the characterizations. The core "save the farm" plot is fine; but what we didn't see, is any purpose for most of the characters. Uncle Jesse didn't offer sage advice or a moral compass; his most Duke-like line was a remark about only leaving the farm if he was taken away in a pine box. The rest was a bunch of pointless one-liners that had nothing to do with the scene at hand. Why not try exercisin' some wit involvin' what's happening at the moment?
A big "Shame shame" for the fact that this Duke family showed no real respect for one another; no manners; no pride in southern heritage. (Had the flag not been pained on the car by somebody else, they wouldn't have thought to put it there? Hmph.) Yes, they cared about their town enough to save it, but they spent the first half of the film beating the hell outta each other. (Which was funny, from an alternate universe perspective, but you dig what I mean.)
Overall, I enjoyed the movie as a guilty pleasure, again because of the stunts, and because I went to it liquored up, and also because I took it as a "Twilight Zone" version of the Hazzard I knew.
Brian
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I'm gonna write a longer and more thought-out review at a later date. Reason being, I did see the movie half-drunk, as I'd planned, and some of the details are foggy. I'll go see it again, sober. Meanwhile, here's a few thoughts:
A big YEEHAAA for the stunts. Tho' the camera angles were weird at some points; I would have liked to have seen more car-roof vantage points, kinda like in the original series. Some of the close action scenes
were frantic and side-viewed, and the result was a blurry madness that I couldn't quite decipher. Or maybe that was the Mike's Hard Lemonade workin' on me. For the most part these scenes were epic and worth the admission fee right there.
A big BAHAHAHA for the new Bo. SWS was an outrageous nut. This is Bo Duke on crack; wired, emotional, and twitchy. We still saw a kid with a racing dream, though, and that was cool.
A big CHUCKLE on Bo's discovery of the Dixie horn in the repaired General Lee, and his repeated use of it to Luke's annoynance.
A big BOO HISS on the drug innuendo. It didn't add anything to the movie; it didn't need to be there, and it wasn't funny. I get the feeling they toned it down from the original script, but it should have been OUT. I know that drug humor is a Broken Lizard staple, but damn, you'd think they could give up this old crutch for one movie. Especially this one.
A big THANK YOU for leaving Cooter the hell alone and not making him a raving maniac. I think the "Sheev" character took on some of the character elements that were originally intended for Cooter. Good call.
A big YAWN for Rosco. He was mean, but hell, most cops are mean. Big deal. Take Jackie Gleason in "Smokey and the Bandit." Beauford T. Justice was mean, but he was also a creative cusser and a ridiculously tenacious chaser. The new Rosco, in comparison, lacked the comedic, fun-loving and sputtering nature of the original - and brought nothing else to replace it.
A big ERASER for half the script and the characterizations. The core "save the farm" plot is fine; but what we didn't see, is any purpose for most of the characters. Uncle Jesse didn't offer sage advice or a moral compass; his most Duke-like line was a remark about only leaving the farm if he was taken away in a pine box. The rest was a bunch of pointless one-liners that had nothing to do with the scene at hand. Why not try exercisin' some wit involvin' what's happening at the moment?
A big "Shame shame" for the fact that this Duke family showed no real respect for one another; no manners; no pride in southern heritage. (Had the flag not been pained on the car by somebody else, they wouldn't have thought to put it there? Hmph.) Yes, they cared about their town enough to save it, but they spent the first half of the film beating the hell outta each other. (Which was funny, from an alternate universe perspective, but you dig what I mean.)
Overall, I enjoyed the movie as a guilty pleasure, again because of the stunts, and because I went to it liquored up, and also because I took it as a "Twilight Zone" version of the Hazzard I knew.
Brian
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Coy and Vance are fun to hate. They are the scapegoats (or scape-sheep) for our wrath over Bo and Luke's departure. We had to take it out on somebody....and what more deserving target, than these hollow substitutes who stagger around and try to remember how Bo and Luke acted?
And while I don't really blame the actors who had this unappreciated task, both lacked charisma. Here they get to be like Bo and Luke, and get paid for it....and somehow it didn't look like fun.
Now, if these guys had any sense of humor, there would have been more moments like this:
Scene 1: Rosco pursues the General Lee. Coy is driving the General and attempting to evade the law.
Coy: "Rosco is right on our tail and the General is almost out of gas and there's a road block up ahead! What are we gonna do, Vance?"
Vance: "Nothing."
Coy: (looking perplexed) "But...you're the smart one, seein' as how you're the Luke substitute! You've gotta have a plan!"
Vance: "Oh, I have a plan, but it's just for me. The way I see it, Coy...you're going to go to jail. Nope, ain't no way we're gettin' outta this one....so I'm gonna plea-bargain and testify against you."
Coy: (looking shocked) "WHAT!!"
Vance: "Well, somebody has to stay at the farm and help Uncle Jesse and Daisy. Since I'm smarter and stronger than you are, it only makes sense for you to go to jail, and me to stay home. You care about Jesse and Daisy, don't you Coy?"
Coy: ( looking confused) "Uh...yeah...but...."
Vance: "Don't worry, you'll be out before you know it. All you have to do is tell Rosco everything I tell you to say. Trust me, my plans always work."
Coy: (brightening, showing naive innocence) "Okay!"
Vance leans back in the seat and smiles smugly, knowing he his about to have the General Lee all to himself, and no younger cousin around to cramp his style.
Ah, now that woulda been a happy ending. BAHAHAHA!!
Brian
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Coy and Vance are fun to hate. They are the scapegoats (or scape-sheep) for our wrath over Bo and Luke's departure. We had to take it out on somebody....and what more deserving target, than these hollow substitutes who stagger around and try to remember how Bo and Luke acted?
And while I don't really blame the actors who had this unappreciated task, both lacked charisma. Here they get to be like Bo and Luke, and get paid for it....and somehow it didn't look like fun.
Now, if these guys had any sense of humor, there would have been more moments like this:
Scene 1: Rosco pursues the General Lee. Coy is driving the General and attempting to evade the law.
Coy: "Rosco is right on our tail and the General is almost out of gas and there's a road block up ahead! What are we gonna do, Vance?"
Vance: "Nothing."
Coy: (looking perplexed) "But...you're the smart one, seein' as how you're the Luke substitute! You've gotta have a plan!"
Vance: "Oh, I have a plan, but it's just for me. The way I see it, Coy...you're going to go to jail. Nope, ain't no way we're gettin' outta this one....so I'm gonna plea-bargain and testify against you."
Coy: (looking shocked) "WHAT!!"
Vance: "Well, somebody has to stay at the farm and help Uncle Jesse and Daisy. Since I'm smarter and stronger than you are, it only makes sense for you to go to jail, and me to stay home. You care about Jesse and Daisy, don't you Coy?"
Coy: ( looking confused) "Uh...yeah...but...."
Vance: "Don't worry, you'll be out before you know it. All you have to do is tell Rosco everything I tell you to say. Trust me, my plans always work."
Coy: (brightening, showing naive innocence) "Okay!"
Vance leans back in the seat and smiles smugly, knowing he his about to have the General Lee all to himself, and no younger cousin around to cramp his style.
Ah, now that woulda been a happy ending. BAHAHAHA!!
Brian
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Dale, you make a good point - no matter how good the movie does, I think us longtime fans will be saying, "Coulda been better." And that's where I'm at. Tho' I'm curious about the movie, and I'll go see it.
But man...if this is the ONLY shot that the Dukes of Hazzard ever gets to have on the big screen....it'll be sad if it all ends in a tastless parody replete with bad T&A jokes and self-serving cameos by the Broken Lizard clan.
Worse, if the movie does well financially, WB will be convinced that they were right - and that nobody gives a rip about who's in the car, or who wears the shorts, or what people in Hazzard were supposedly like. And then a sequel will be bounced right up into our undercarriage.
No matter what side of the movie debate folks are on, it seems we all agree that the stunts will carry the flick. The question is...how far?
Brian
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Dale, you make a good point - no matter how good the movie does, I think us longtime fans will be saying, "Coulda been better." And that's where I'm at. Tho' I'm curious about the movie, and I'll go see it.
But man...if this is the ONLY shot that the Dukes of Hazzard ever gets to have on the big screen....it'll be sad if it all ends in a tastless parody replete with bad T&A jokes and self-serving cameos by the Broken Lizard clan.
Worse, if the movie does well financially, WB will be convinced that they were right - and that nobody gives a rip about who's in the car, or who wears the shorts, or what people in Hazzard were supposedly like. And then a sequel will be bounced right up into our undercarriage.
No matter what side of the movie debate folks are on, it seems we all agree that the stunts will carry the flick. The question is...how far?
Brian
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I caught most of it, and the stunt scenes look very cool. Saw another chase scene that hadn't been shown on the previews yet, and it was wild. The bar fight scene looked like good ol' mayhem too.
But no matter how many times they show Jessica with her "Something bounced up into my undercarriage" line, it doesn't improve.
Anybody else see it? Whad'ja think? Did it getcha more excited about the movie?
Brian
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I caught most of it, and the stunt scenes look very cool. Saw another chase scene that hadn't been shown on the previews yet, and it was wild. The bar fight scene looked like good ol' mayhem too.
But no matter how many times they show Jessica with her "Something bounced up into my undercarriage" line, it doesn't improve.
Anybody else see it? Whad'ja think? Did it getcha more excited about the movie?
Brian
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Well, we talked about the movie cast needing to have a good rapport ....but that's more rapport than we had a right to expect.
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Well, we talked about the movie cast needing to have a good rapport ....but that's more rapport than we had a right to expect.
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Eddiemunster wrote:
Shame on you, Brian!!! How would you like to be hit with a 2x4 by Coy & Vance? C'mon, you can't hate them that much!!!You're right, I hate 'em a little more than that. How about usin' a 4x6!!
Jamanda wrote:
Some of you people enjoy violence a little too much.Aw, Jamanda. It ain't like I suggested we witness Coy and Vance slowly sinkin' into quicksand while screamin' at the top of their lungs. (Tho' woulda been a great intro for "Welcome Back Bo and Luke." )
Jamanda wrote:
We don't mind Vance being knocked out by a fake karate chop, but they could've used something better for Daisy. She did a good job strangling the guy in the helicopter though.Now who's enjoying violence?!
Brian
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Eddiemunster wrote:
Shame on you, Brian!!! How would you like to be hit with a 2x4 by Coy & Vance? C'mon, you can't hate them that much!!!You're right, I hate 'em a little more than that. How about usin' a 4x6!!
Jamanda wrote:
Some of you people enjoy violence a little too much.Aw, Jamanda. It ain't like I suggested we witness Coy and Vance slowly sinkin' into quicksand while screamin' at the top of their lungs. (Tho' woulda been a great intro for "Welcome Back Bo and Luke." )
Jamanda wrote:
We don't mind Vance being knocked out by a fake karate chop, but they could've used something better for Daisy. She did a good job strangling the guy in the helicopter though.Now who's enjoying violence?!
Brian
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oh yeah and Brian if you were any happier about it it sounds like you would hit 'em if ya had the chance ... naughty naughty.
YES!! Yes I would have!! Except I woulda done thangs a little differently. I would have smacked 'em in the back of the head with a wooden chair and enjoyed added bonus of splintering furniture, which is much more aesthetic visually, than a bland ol' karate chop.
On short notice, a two-by-four piece of lumber would do.
Brian
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oh yeah and Brian if you were any happier about it it sounds like you would hit 'em if ya had the chance ... naughty naughty.
YES!! Yes I would have!! Except I woulda done thangs a little differently. I would have smacked 'em in the back of the head with a wooden chair and enjoyed added bonus of splintering furniture, which is much more aesthetic visually, than a bland ol' karate chop.
On short notice, a two-by-four piece of lumber would do.
Brian
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I'll give Jessica this much. What she lacks in talent and personality, she makes up in sleaze and publicity.
I'd read in an MSN article awhile back, that Jessica's father sends press releases and stuff to various media outlets dang near continually. Thing is...nobody can stay on top forever. Ok, she was in the Dukes movie. Now what?
What next?
She can only talk about her "accomplishments" for so long. Now that she's portrayed herself as a hip-grinding, boot-walking, chest-bobbing tart, she'll probably enjoy a limited career of cameo roles and Playboy magazine appearances. And with her propensity to demand all the media attention, I can't see other celebrities lining up to work with her.
In fact, I think all this media drum-beating by Jessica Incorporated, is being done in hopes that the Next Big Offer will fall into her lap. ( Or bounce up into her undercarriage.)
Brian
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I'll give Jessica this much. What she lacks in talent and personality, she makes up in sleaze and publicity.
I'd read in an MSN article awhile back, that Jessica's father sends press releases and stuff to various media outlets dang near continually. Thing is...nobody can stay on top forever. Ok, she was in the Dukes movie. Now what?
What next?
She can only talk about her "accomplishments" for so long. Now that she's portrayed herself as a hip-grinding, boot-walking, chest-bobbing tart, she'll probably enjoy a limited career of cameo roles and Playboy magazine appearances. And with her propensity to demand all the media attention, I can't see other celebrities lining up to work with her.
In fact, I think all this media drum-beating by Jessica Incorporated, is being done in hopes that the Next Big Offer will fall into her lap. ( Or bounce up into her undercarriage.)
Brian
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Here's something to look for and enjoy. Tonight, while watching "The Great Insurance Fraud" C&V episode on CMT, there was a moment worth my while. Allow me to share.
The bad guy sneaks up on Vance and karate-chops him from behind. Vance keels over and bonks his head on the table, and lays there lifelessly.
YEEHAAA!!! Awright, let's see that again!! *WHACK!* *THUD!!*
I used to shun the Coy and Vance episodes, but now I'll tune in just to see 'em get roughed up by the bad guys du jour. Ya know, WB should have capitalized on the fans distain for Coy and Vance and had thier clocks cleaned in every episode. Ratings would have surged.
In fact, I'm looking forward to CMT's airing of "Coy vs. Vance" which outta be on next week sometime. The episode is pretty much a ripoff of "Carnival of Thrills" in concept - but I'll enjoy seeing Coy and Vance pound the hash out of each other.
Brian
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Here's something to look for and enjoy. Tonight, while watching "The Great Insurance Fraud" C&V episode on CMT, there was a moment worth my while. Allow me to share.
The bad guy sneaks up on Vance and karate-chops him from behind. Vance keels over and bonks his head on the table, and lays there lifelessly.
YEEHAAA!!! Awright, let's see that again!! *WHACK!* *THUD!!*
I used to shun the Coy and Vance episodes, but now I'll tune in just to see 'em get roughed up by the bad guys du jour. Ya know, WB should have capitalized on the fans distain for Coy and Vance and had thier clocks cleaned in every episode. Ratings would have surged.
In fact, I'm looking forward to CMT's airing of "Coy vs. Vance" which outta be on next week sometime. The episode is pretty much a ripoff of "Carnival of Thrills" in concept - but I'll enjoy seeing Coy and Vance pound the hash out of each other.
Brian
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Well, I ain't no certified dream analyzer, nor am I licensed to practice psychology. But, I do a lot of dreaming.
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Well, I ain't no certified dream analyzer, nor am I licensed to practice psychology. But, I do a lot of dreaming.
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Not to worry, MaryAnne. If you've lost your mind, nobody's noticed the difference anyway.
And now, the meaning of "Mind over matter" : If you don't mind...it doesn't matter!
Heh. Anyhow, least we got the lowdown on the book, thanks to Darrell!
Brian
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Not to worry, MaryAnne. If you've lost your mind, nobody's noticed the difference anyway.
And now, the meaning of "Mind over matter" : If you don't mind...it doesn't matter!
Heh. Anyhow, least we got the lowdown on the book, thanks to Darrell!
Brian
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Man, that sucks. It also takes the air outta one of my better rants. Ah well.....
I'd say that without the flag on the car - it's not worth the gain of the location. To me, there is more authenticity in the event, if the car actually looks like the General Lee in full uniform. (Oops, the car name might offend somebody, better omit those letters on the roof too. )
another one from the Dukes VP.
in General Discussion
Posted
Don't get me started. The next "most qualified person" was Scott, the president of the Confederate General Lee Fan Club. Who should have got the job, but apparently the CMT panel was looking for an egotistical jerk instead.
They interviewed 3 people out of 2,000 applicants. Not exactly a deep dig for a winner. You'd think for spending 100 grand, CMT would have wanted to make sure they were getting their money's worth. Instead, they've got a socially-remedial hack who can't communicate with other fans, let alone relate to them. One look at the low-volume "Dukes Institute Board", and you'll see weirdness without substance.
The thing I can't get over, is that this guy had no involvement whatsoever in any Dukes fan club, website, message board, email group, ect. He didn't previously particpate in a damn thing to do with the show or its fans. He wasn't watching the show when he applied for the position. I think he was a "Dukes fan" in the same respect that he was a fan of 100 other tv shows. He only became a big Dukes fan for the money.
I've been long-tempted to draw the saber on this guy, but my own standards of professional conduct have kept me from indulging.
Then again....why spare him? This VP guy is getting paid 100 grand to be seen as the epitome of Dukes fans - without the burden of having to know much, care much, or actually deal with anybody unless CMT says he's gotta talk to 'em. Maybe it's time somebody made him earn his bread.
Brian