Thank you all for your kind words. Bo we must be related, because when I'm really upset. I have certain teddy bear that bring out and just hold. He usually makes everything ok. I guess it's really going to hit me when i see her laying there. Part of thinks this just a bad dream and at any minute I'll wake up. Part of me wants to say screw it not go. But another says this something i have to do. Tonight we are heading to mom's hometown. Now i just have to put up with family members (the family from hell). Bo, Where you say Take some time, grab some hot chocolate and look through albums. I'll bet there were happy times you had with your mum... You be wrong in heartbeat. My mom and I more bad times then good. You'll only find a very few picture of us together and that's because things that happen could not be fixed no matter how hard family members tried.