Brian Coltrane

As a Hazzard County cop, Enos does play in traffic. Behold, the power o' suggestion.

Having a car that could drive itself would be neat to certain point. Like if the weather was bad, and the car brought itself to the door for ya. Or you could send the car out on errands, while you stayed home to enjoy another episode of Dukes of Hazzard. The downside is, not all self-automated automobiles would be as obedient as KITT. My own car, if self-automated, would probably wander off for an oil change at inopportune moments and leave me stranded. It would also play tricks on me, like re-parking itself once I walk into the store. I also wouldn't be surprised if it bullied small cars and chased them away from gas pumps. The ultimate worst-case scenario is the car getting more tickets on it's own, then I do with it. Try telling that one to the judge. Brian

Maybe Enos took more than one lemon while he was talking to Daisy? Maybe the lemon is a metaphorical analogy for the respective worth of any vehicle on Ace Parker's car lot? Maybe somebody once told Enos to "go suck a lemon" and he took it as daily nutritional advice? How much can we squeeze out of this lemon question?

Brian watched MaryAnne ride off with Chet and his horse in tow. There was nothing but cold business in MaryAnne's demeanor; and Brian guessed that Chet was just as well off, being unconcious. Try as he might, Brian wasn't sure of the direction MaryAnne was heading for. This troubled him; he wasn't keen on the idea of MaryAnne riding off alone with the rustler, and he would have no way of helping her. He also wouldn't know what direction Chet would be coming from, should the erstwhile Duke decide to intercept an enemy. Hell, Brian didn't know what direction he was going to be headed for. He opened his mouth to make a wiseacre remark to the Sheriff, thinking to question Rosco's grasp of east vs. west. But one look into the Sheriff's eyes, and Brian shut up. He had no interest in being flung over his horse like a sack of grits for the ride. (Cue anybody!)

Thank for the report, LMD! Man, what an awesome experience that's gotta be, bein' an extra on the set. Don't forgot, John Schneider was a mere extra in Smokey and the Bandit, and things turned out pretty good for him afterwards! Have fun! Brian

Well, now you've got us. Brian

Knock 'em dead, LMD! We're all jealous as hell, ya know. Congrats!! Brian

I'm a big fan of the Eastwood westerns, but I dug this movie as well. It's been a long time since I've seen it; but if I recall correctly, there was a biker gang in this, and the gang leader was the same dude who played Augie Detweiller in the Dukes episode, "Hazzard Connection." (season two.) This flick was something like "BJ and The Bear" meets Hell's Angels. The fight scenes were pretty good from what I remember.

Someone, and something, did. Upon hearing Cooter's information about gang threatening Garrett and Kristy, Brian briefly conferred with the Hazzard law. There was no sense in everyone rushing up the stairs; the gang would pick them off one by one. And the last thing the gang upstairs would tolerate was the sight of any police officers. "You'd be shot on sight," Brian told the law. "But I got an idea." Quickly, he explained his plan. Without waiting for full approval, Brian turned and walked quietly up the stairs, alone. His black boots made just enough noise to announce his arrival, without being too aggressive. As he mounted the last step, Brian turned to look directly at Garrett and Dane, his eyes quickly taking in the scene. Sure enough, Kristy was in the holding cell, Garrett looked to be going on a one-way ride. An imposing-looking crime boss was staring back at Brian while the thugs began to go for weapons. "Reee-lax," Brian drawled. "I'm in on it. I just took the job for some easy cash." He kept walking, unruffled, letting his body language, clothing and attitude show him as a fellow criminal. "Though I still think we shoulda shot the whole @#%&* bunch. What's a few more bodies?" Brian walked up to Garrett and Dane as close as he thought he could get away with. He addressed the troubled Duke as if they were old associates. "Before you run off with your buddies, Garrett....how about you pony up the dough?" With these words, Brian tapped a boot several times against the floor, as if impatient. What he was really doing, was counting off the number of thugs who were present, knowing it would carry to the ears of those downstairs.... (cue anybody!)

"We'll find out in a minute, ah'm sure." Brian's face becamse serious again. "Still, there's a chance Chet could trail one of us. He just can't cherry-pick which one he's followin', not knowin' the directions." After a pause, the black-clad Coltrane made an offer. "Tell you what, Alex. I'll make a pact with you heah and now. If that Duke cowpie picks up your tracks, and manages to bushwhack you on the trail..." Brian glanced darkly in Chet's direction. "...then I'll find him, if I have to ride through the streets of Hell. And you'll be avenged...ah swear it. I only ask that you'd do the same for me." (cue Alex.......)

The errant Duke slumped to the floor of his cell. Ordinarily, Brian wouldn't have been displeased at the sight. But he understood Chet's motive; the rustler didn't want to be hunted down. He wanted to do the hunting. However, Chet had made a serious error in knocking himself out, and Brian started to laugh as he realized it. He gripped the bars, threw back his head, and laughed like a maniac. "KHEEHAHAHAHA!!BAHAHAHA!!" When he noticed that Alex was watching with genuine alarm, Brian explained. "Reeelax, drifter. It's obvious Chet wanted to be the last to go, since he knows our directions and he can pick up our trail. But there's just one thang." Brian turned to look towards the Hazzard law. "Ya see....MaryAnne is tough, but she's fair. And if she's really serious about givin' us all a sportin' chance to get away from each other....or kill each other later...she'll change those directions, now. One of us will go west instead of Chet...the other will go in an opposite direction than originally stated." Giving a grim smile, Brian waited for Alex's reaction..... (cue Alex! )

The CA studio filming took place in Burbank at the WB studios, and the chase scenes were filmed in Lake Sherwood CA, and later Valencia, CA. That about covers it! We'll have a whole new round of trivia when the new movie is out....and then MaryAnne and I aren't gonna know diddily-squat anymore. Thankfully, we're quick studies. Heh! Brian

Whose patrol car was whose didn't matter, because none of the cars lasted long enough for Rosco or Enos to get attached to them. I think Rosco took the better of the two, or whichever one Flash was sitting in. The bigger question might be, how did Flash tell the cars apart?! By the way Jamanda - HazzardNet lets you have an ID absolutely free of charge, so ya'll can go ahead and each have yer own. If you want. Unless you're literally attached at the hip or somethin'. Well, it's good for families to do stuff together! Like visit HazzardNet! Brian

I'm cautiously optimistic about the movie. I know we're not gonna agree with everything in it - but that's good, because the original Dukes will remain as popular as ever. There's no outshining the original, so the hell with it, let's enjoy the movie for what it is. I'm probably the most interested in seeing the General fly on the big screen, and seein' some vehicular mayhem. The last few "car flicks" outta Hollywood have been too slick and polished, for my tastes. ( The rice-burners in the Fast & Furious flicks just don't do it for me. Those movies had their moments, but it's just not the same feel.) I'm predicting that the Dukes movie will be.... 01 at the box office this summer. Brian

I feel the same way. One of my favorite episodes, for similar reasons, is "To Catch A Duke." This was the one with the husband-and-wife jewelry robbers who ditch the gems outside of the Hazzard Courthouse, and Flash finds the bag of goods and carries it into Rosco's patrol car. Rosco ends up getting fired by Boss, and we get to see Rosco as a person seperate ( and forcibly seperated) from his uniform. We also get to see how much that uniform meant to him, and to what lengths he'd go to, in order to restore himself as Sheriff. Rosco also displays some competence in this episode, and I always enjoyed it when Rosco and Enos got to win a little. Brian

Hmm! Looks more like, "Two Warriors Came Through the Windshield." Guess I'm not that cultured when it comes to fine art. Heh!

Howdy, Clay! Welome to HazzardNet. Glad you like it! About the theme song...I hate to bring up the cash register motive of WB, but they'll have anybody sing anything, so long as it sells the soundtrack. And since Kid Rock has done a duet with Shania, and Tim McGraw is rappin' along with...Nelly or whoever, nothin' would surprise me anymore. So long as the musicians are signing the theme song because they dig the Dukes, that's awright with me. I suppose by the end of the movie, they'll all join in one big chorus, kind of like a massive "We Are the World" tune where every singer gets at least one solo line. Heh heh! Brian

This is only a test. Just seeing how posting goes with the new server. MeadowMufn said the site was movin' a little faster and I do believe she's right. On the old server, my posts were stallin' out here n' there. ( But since I'd crashed three computers into a tree this past year, I figured it was just me.) I know some of y'all experienced "page not found" messages and other sporadic baloney on the old server. Our apologies for the inconvenience! Thanks for your patience during the downtime. If you ever notice a problem with the Forums or any part of the site, please give us a holler at webmaster AT hazzardnet.com (spelled it out cuz we don't want to get spammed!). Much as we patrol the place, HazzardNet seems to have it's own sense of humor, and it likes to act up when we're not looking. 'Nuff said! Back to the shenanigans. Brian

The only bullet that had concerned Brian, was the one that had claimed his flesh and sent him falling back into the trunk. He layed there as the burn of lead and warm seep of blood gave way to a pleasant numbness. He didn't flinch as further shots pinged against the open trunk lid over his head, sending tiny sparks to dance for his bemusement. The roar of a motor, screeching brakes, and more gunfire didn't phase him. Despite the chill of the night air and the lack of his jacket, he didn't feel cold. He didn't feel anything.... ...but he saw the swath of bright light outside, caused by Hunter's headlights. The open trunk lid was revealed against the night sky, the back of the Camaro like an open coffin. He closed his eyes, the weariness of his exhausted, wounded body sinking towards a sweet oblivion. But soon a familar voice was interrupting this indulgent repose; and it was a voice that could not be ignored. At the touch to his neck, Brian slowly opened his eyes, and turned his face towards MaryAnne. She stood there, her uniformed presence a silhouette against the white light behind her. He smiled, weakly, and whispered out her name. "MaryAnne...." And then unconciousness could no longer be denied, and Brian gave into it, his eyes closing and his face turning to rest against her hand. His pulse continued to tap lightly beneath her fingers.... (cue MaryAnne)

Chet's outburst alarmed Brian. If the fool Duke ticked off the law bad enough, all bets could be off. And if MaryAnne got mad enough to hang one of them, she'd probably hang all three. She had, after all, given them the same deal at the outset. Casting a quick glance at Alex, Brian shook his head in silent warning. They couldn't afford to react. Chet evidently felt he had nothing to lose, and was trying to get himself hung here and now. It might be victory enough for the bullet-ridden Duke, to see his enemies dragged to the gallows with him. (Cue Alex )

The roar of the engine and the white-hot blaze of headlights filled the air like an oncoming train. Brian kept his eyes open, despite the fact that either a bullet or a car was about to hit. When it did, Brian wanted to see Fargo's face...in order to use his last breath to spit at him. ( Cue Fargo....)

S'awright, Cap'n, you were probably safer being elsewhere! As the evening wore on, I hit some new personal lows. Something in the eggnog musta got to me. My apologies to the owner of the reindeer lawn ornament. Brian

If that's a stupid question, then you have stupid company, because I don't know what an LJ icon is either. Yes, it's "stump the moderators" today on HNet. And stumped we are! Can somebody hand us a clue? Eh? Anybody? Brian

Inside the Camaro's trunk, Brian was having an uncomfortable ride. He felt every jarring bump and pothole in the road. The trip itself, however, wasn't the bad part. It was the destination itself that was concerning him. Soon, his bluff would be called for good. Wherever Riddick was, Brian hoped the trade had been worth it. Wherever his kin was, Brian hoped that they might someday have the chance to track down Fargo and Anderson and visit some justice upon them. Meanwhile, he'd do what he could to see that the Camaro eventually drew the attention of the law. Brian drew his knee up and kicked back into the inside of the taillights, attempting to break them from the inside. He repeated the kicking, banging himself around in the trunk until the Camaro's brakes slammed for a second and forced him to roll bodily against the inside panels. *WHAM!* "..GAH! @#$&*..." The Camaro moved again, the point made. Brian turned his head to look at the taillights. One was cracked, but the interior frame kept him from successfully knocking it out. Well, that left the wiring harness... The darkness of the trunk kept him from being able to see exactly where the tailing wiring was, but that didn't stop him from using a boot to catch and pull against any wiring found. He was rewarded with the disconnect of half the brakelights, when the wires gave. The other wiring set was behind his head, and there would be no turning himself around in the trunk to get at it. He hoped that half the brakelights being out, would be anough for some picky Southern cop to pull the car over. And maybe get suspicious. And maybe, just maybe, eventually Fargo and Anderson's bounty hunting days would be over. Unfortuntely, it wouldn't happen soon enough. (cue anybody!)

Pendragon, great job. Those are all nicely done; and on a personal level, I'm quite impressed. Thank ya! Brian