Brian Coltrane

The harsh blow from the gun handle cracked against Brian's chin. There had been no way to block the move and keep Chet pinned down at the same time; and so Brian took the full force of the blow, his body going slack as unconciousness pulled him down. He remained over Chet like dead weight until the rustler succeeded in shoving him off. Brian's inert form slumped into the dirt and didn't move. (Cue Alex!)

Oh hell, Brian thought to himself as Chet counted down. After his shot into the air, Brian had leapt back behind the jailhouse, anticipating that Chet would turn those .45's upon him. But instead, Alex had managed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and was getting the brunt of Chet's bad mood. "AWRIGHT!" Brian called out loudly. He hustled to the far corner of the back of the jailhouse. "I'm on the other side, heah! I'm gonna come around to the front, where you can see me under the street lamps! I'll have mah hands in the air! " With this, Brian quickly jammed his gun back into the holster. The rear of the jailhouse had a low-roofed back porch, and an old rain barrel stood under one corner of it. By Coltrane luck it was empty, and Brian turned the barrel upside-down and climbed up on it. He grabbed the edge of the back roof and pulled himself up. Silently, on all fours like a cat, he crept along the far side of the roof. He called out reassurance to Chet. "I'm walkin' slow...just take it easy...." Brian flattened himself low and crawled to the front of the roof, moving over towards Chet's position. He carefully lifted his head, peered down, and saw that the horses had their attention fixed upon the rustler and his hostage. Phoenix's body language told all. The well-trained police mount was pointing her long nose at the danger, her ears pinned flat. Taking a deep breath, Brian flattened himself and silently crawled the last few feet. He remained out of view for another heartbeat....and then sprung to his feet, made sure of his target in that split second, and yelled out a warning. "ALEX, HIT THE DIRT! HYAAAAAAAAH!!!" Brian had his hands in the air, as promised....along with the rest of him. He dove headfirst off the roof, his black-clad form descending in a well-aimed pounce to tackle Chet Duke. (Cue anybody! Even Chet, you sodbustin' horse apple!)

As he continued his carefree cruise towards Hazzard, Brian saw Hilery's Mustang in the ditch. He waved to her cordially. "Howdy, Hil !" There was no stopping for her, though. Diablo had a real issue with Fords, and attempting to pull one out of a ditch would promise Brian car troubles of his own for weeks. Instead, he picked up the CB mike and radioed Cooter. This done, he hung the handset back on the CB and chuckled. "Two good deeds in one day. I oughta be ashamed of myself...heh heh!" The rest of his drive to Hazzard was uneventful, and after another fifteen minute's travel, the long black Chevy swung around the town square. Brian pulled around to the impound lot of the Sheriff's Department, but found the gate shut and padlocked. He couldn't put the motorcycle in here just yet. Walking inside the courthouse, Brian soon discovered that Enos had no key for the impound yard. Rosco had the only key, and the Sheriff was out on speed trap duty for another hour. This left Brian with a motorcycle stuck in his trunk for the time being. He left the courthouse, fired up the Chevy, and drove it down the block to the Busy Bee Cafe. The drive from Atlanta had left him hungry, and there was time to kill before Rosco was back in town. Sitting down at a window booth, Brian kept a partial eye on Diablo while he awaited his lunch order. There seemed to be nothing going on in Hazzard today; all was quiet, subdued by the rainy weather. Taking a swallow of Pepsi from an overpriced can, Brian thought about his good deeds for the day and smiled to himself. It looked like he was going to have one full day without any trouble.... (cue anybody!)

(flattery will gitcha nowhere, Chet.) As Chet's flighty horse tore out of the alley, Brian ducked back and stayed motionless near the back of the jailhouse. He watched, scowling, as Chet crept out of the alley like a barn rat and slunk to the side of the building. Brian figured there was one reason and one reasonly only that Chet had snuck back to Hazzard in the middle of the night. Namely....revenge. The twin .45's in Chet's hands seemed to be indication enough of his intent. Chet crouched low and didn't move for a few minutes. Brian did the same. But Chet was posing a real problem. If MaryAnne and Alex came out of the jailhouse, they would be in risk of Chet's attack. If Brian shot Chet, MaryAnne would likely demonstrate the "or else" clause of their agreement. If Brian attempted to capture Chet alive, he'd likely get shot. Every card was a spade, but it was too late in the game to fold. Brian silently pointed his gun at the night sky. He was about to tip off Chet to his presence....and in doing so, he would intentionally draw the rustler's gunfire. Which should allow MaryAnne and Alex the opportunity to exit the jailhouse and surround him; the gunshot would send them flying into action. "Talk about yer shot in the dark," Brian muttered to himself. He pulled the trigger and fired into the sky. *BLAM!!* The gunpowder flare from the barrel announced his location along with the cracking echo of the shot.... (Cue anybody! )

I think the outcome purely depends on the type of contest. The General is more visibly impressive doing 180's, due to the longer chassis. KITT, however, would trounce the General at a spelling bee. Ya gotta pick yer battles. Brian

NBC was purposely trying to grab the Dukes audience, no doubt about that. I'll give KITT this much, though. He had the vocabulary to hold his own at social occassions. Whereas if the General could talk, he would probably be limited to traditional Duke-speak like: "Yeeehaaa!" "You got that right." "Uh-oh. There's Rosco." Brian

The sound of the shrill whinny from the back of the jailhouse riled the three horses just as Brian had calmed them. The animals bellowed simutaneously, right into Brian's ear. "@#$%&*!" Phoenix, who was at the end of the hitch post, seemed especially agitated. The appaloosa mare peered suspiciously into the darkness behind the jailhouse, nostrils flared, ears twitching. Damascus and Sundance stood stock-still, unable to see the threat but sensing the mare's tension. This, more than anything else, told Brian that the horse whinny didn't belong to anyone friendly. He had hoped, for a split second, that perhaps it was simply Rosco's horse calling a greeting with the Sheriff's return. But Rosco wouldn't be sneaking up through an alley, and Brian knew it. Company was coming, and there was no telling who, or how many. Brian knew he should retreat back inside of the jailhouse. He couldn't, however, burst inside with nothing more to report than an unidentified whinny. And so he furled back his long black coat, and his gun whispered from the holster with a fast, subtle movement. He spun the weapon in his hand once, settling it into a sure grip. He paused just long enough to turn down the flame of the porch lanterns. Darkness closed over Brian and enveloped his black-clad form with the night. With a thief's silence, he stalked to the opposite end of the porch, leaving the horses tied to the hitch post. Phoenix continued to stare towards the back of the jailhouse, her attention focused on an alley. Brian marked the line of the mare's vision...and then slunk around the corner of the jailhouse. He kept his back to the outer wall, gun in hand, trusting that the building was blocking the sight of him from whoever was in that alley. His spurless boots made no sound as he edged closer to the rear of the building. (cue CHET you low down dirty yeller dawg.....)

Howdy Angie! Welcome to HazzardNet. Make yerself at home! Brian

The Hazzard County jailhouse was lit up with the cheerful glow of kerosene lanterns. A couple of lanterns were hung from the porch posts, illuminating the hitching post out front. There, two horses waited patiently for their dinner. A third horse was not being patient at all. After a long drink of water and a standing nap, Damascus was tired of waiting. The black horse tugged at his tie-rope. He whinnied. He pawed the ground. He kicked his front hoof at the water trough. This irritated Phoenix, who had been otherwise resting comfortably. Happy as the mare had been to see her pasture companion, Damascus's fit displeased her. She told him so by pinning her ears flat and giving a nip to his flank. This caused Damascus to squeal loudly and give a reflexive kick of one hind leg, which hit the buckskin horse tied alongside him. Showdown bawled a protest and kicked back, and Damascus whinnied a complaint. The noise interrupted Brian's conversation with MaryAnne and Alex. The black-clad outlaw strode out from the jailhouse to see what had the horses riled. Damascus swung his ears up and craned his thick neck out hopefully. *sugar?* Brian could read the thought. "Do you think ah'm made outta sugar?! Spoiled horse...keep it down out heah!" All the same, Brian dug two sugar cubes from his pocket. Damascus slobbered them up, and immediately Phoenix and Showdown wanted their own treat. The horses nickered and pressed their noses towards Brian. "Oh, for...awright, awright! Don't get pushy." Brian produced more treats from his pockets. The sugar disappeared from his open palms instantly. Chuckling, he reached out and patted Damascus, who had began to nibble on his hat. "Yeah, I know, dinner's late and yer gonna waste away to a ton. You'll get your oats as soon as we're done talkin' posse' business. So behave yerself, eh?" Intent on settling down his horse, Brian didn't take notice of anything in town just yet... (cue anyone!)

Howdy ya'll ! Just a quick reminder, that HazzardNet does not permit solicitation of it's members through the forums. In other words, if you wanna have a link exchange with us - fantastic, but go through the proper channels. Email us at: Webmaster@hazzardnet.com . This will give us a chance to check out yer website, and see if we are companionable. Otherwise, the forums could turn into one big run of classified ads, and that's not the idea. Newsworthy stuff, like links to Dukes-related articles n' such, are okay. We totally welcome that and appreciate it. What makes HazzardNet unique is that content comes from everybody. And in turn, we do all we can to protect the best interests of everybody. We try to be as open and fair as possible, without totally losing control of the place. We don't comb through stuff with a magnifying glass...but if we've got reason to doubt the value, or authenticity, or the claims made behind a link somebody slapped up... we'll remove it. We're not tryin' to be jerks; we just gotta be careful. You might notice that HazzardNet doesn't paste itself all over other poeple's sites; we ask for the same courtesy in return. If you ever have any questions about our policies n' such - which we readily admit we make up as we go along - email us at webmaster@hazzardnet.com. Or, send a Private Message to me or any other Moderator. Thank ya for your understandin'. Brian

Brian was concerned about the "or else " clause in MaryAnne's offer. It was clear that she wouldn't be permitting them to take the law into their own hands. When it came time to apprehend the rustlers, Brian knew that he and Alex would be required to obey whatever orders the law gave. Despite any conflicting opinions of their own. Or else. Yet, the opportunity to help protect MaryAnne and rest of Hazzard, and keep his own rear out of jail , was an offer he couldn't refuse. With a sudden smile, Brian touched the brim of his hat, and gave MaryAnne a deep nod. "At yer service, Deputy." (cue anybody!)

Sorry, I was kinda lazy with that other post, wasn't I ! Awright, here's how to find it. From the website of http://www.ertltoys.com click on "Joyride Studios" in the upper left of the site categories. From there, click on the tab at the upper left for "Vehicles." At the bottom of the next screen, click on the link for "more entertainment vehicles." Yer almost there! Now, click in the tiny little link that says "Dukes of Hazzard - General Lee." Should be 4th from the top on the left side o' the link list. There ya go! Brian

"There ain't no if about us bein' locked up," Brian sighed. 'MaryAnne might not string us up, but she's sure as hell gonna have us breakin' rocks for awhile. Meantime, she's gonna go out after them rustlers, and risk gettin' shot up like a tin can." After a moment's thinking, Brian added, "Min's still back at the cabin...and maybe this gamblin' woman can help us out somehow. But we can't run off now. We'd only be forcin' MaryAnne to do somethin' lawfully unpleasant. We gotta play it cool....and wait. I'm just hopin' the wait don't turn out to be twenty years." (Cue anybody!)

Thoughts of those rustlers, along with the unknown final fate of Chet Duke, haunted Brian as he rode into town. He had the feeling that Hazzard wasn't going to be safe for anybody, as long as those wild cards remained at the bottom of the deck. The law, especially, wouldn't be safe.... Brian looked out the corner of his eye at MaryAnne. She was herding them directly to the hoosegow. Given all that had happened, Brian didn't blame her. Yet, the idea that he and Alex were going to be locked up, while Chet and his gang were loose to do Lord-knew-what, filled his heart with ambivalence. MaryAnne would no doubt go hunting for the band of rustlers....and they played for keeps. Brian glanced over at Alex. The blonde drifter had been watching him, probably having similar thoughts. Slowing Damascus just a fraction, Brian nudged his horse closer to the buckskin Alex rode. He spoke as quietly as he could, hoping not to be overheard by MaryAnne. "Alex...ah'm gettin' the feelin', that once you n' me are sent up the river...the damn is gonna break." (Cue Alex!)

That's a big 10-4, Dukes79! And I gotta add my own round of applause and standin' observation to our Louisiana cousin for their spy-witness accounts and photos. Y'all have been awesome! We salute ya! Brian

Howdy, Thomamon! Welcome to HazzardNet. Or maybe I should say, welcome back! You mighta been here before - HazzardNet's been around for several years. It's deja vu' all over again. Yep, it's been remodeled some, but rest assured, it's still operated by the same lunatics. Thanks for the kind compliments. A whole lotta credit goes to our fellow Hazzardites for positing Dukes news and spy-witness reports about the movie filming. Hazzard has nevah been busier! Brian

You know, I didn't read Tempest's post about the flamin' arrows of death before I walked into that little get-together....just imagine my surprise. But all in all, I'd have to say the first annual Turkey Shoot was a succes....seein' as how I survived it. Heh! We did have a few incidents involvin' the inappropriate use of pies, yams, and dinner rolls, but I suppose that's to be expected. Thanks to all who participated! Brian

J.D. Jr., Your explanation sounds plausible enuff. While HazzardNet doesn't permit solicitation of it's members, cousins, local folk and lurkers, I've decided to leave your post up. Folks can contact you at their own risk, should they wish to do so. This ain't, however, an official endorsement. A note here to the HazzardNet crowd: We suggest the use of a PO Box when enterin' correspondence with anyone. Somethin' as simple as yer name and street address can be used to dig up a whole lot of information on you. Be careful out there. Back to you, J.D. Jr. - I think you understand why the skepticism and caution is necessary. We've heard some outrageous claims over the years....and we must do our best to protect our community. Some of us have also done our share of writin' for our own amusement. (Not sure I'd say that we wrote stuff we'd actually like to experience. Heh. ) HazzardNet contains stories and links to fanfic pages, and the thought of any of us havin' work ripped off - fully or partially - is distressin' to say the least. It's a risk we take when we post our work for the free enjoyment of the world. ( Tho' we're savvy enuff to have file dates and logs.) You've posted a few of your ideas, which you intend to market - and in doin' so, took a risk yourself. I'm not sure how many sites you've posted your invitation on...or if you sniffed out HazzardNet for any particular reason. In any event, you've conducted yourself well. I sincerely wish ya the best of luck. Brian

Tempest, that's a great recipie. I'd watch more cooking shows if they followed that sorta ingredient list. Heh heh! Happy Thanksgiving to everybody! Brian

JD Jr, Yer a persistent cuss, I'll give ya that much. Good for you - it takes fortitude to make it out there. I can't speak for everybody - but the reason I ain't personally all fired up, and jumpin' up and down about your proposal, is because I have no way of knowin' if you're for real. You've got good ideas - so go for it. But where does anyone else fit in? Why would ya need to collect ideas from the public at large? Ain't that the agent's job? I've been around long enough to be just a little jaded. It sounds like you're looking to re-market other people's stories. Ostesnsibly, you're gonna give credit back to the original author somehow. Pardon my blatant skepticism, but any of us could submit stuff to an agent directly, and skip the middleman. No offense intended. I'm sure you can respect the need for any author, fanfic or otherwise, to protect themselves and their work. If you wanna tell us more about yourself, and list some of the scripts you've successfully marketed, and show us an example of your writing - by all means, g'wan ahead. I'd be interested to see it. Brian

Brian nodded at Alex's words...but the story was incomplete. The black-clad Coltrane looked at the ground, and quietly filled in the rest. "Chet confessed to us that he'd stolen the horses....and then I made threats against 'em to see what his bounty might be worth. I decided to turn Chet in to the Sheriff, figurin' we'd pick up a reward...and then we'd sell the stolen horses ourselves. Lots of easy money. Only Chet gave us enuff grief that I decided we'd hang the silly son of a @#$&* instead." Pausing, Brian gave a sigh. "We'd just about strung 'em up, too, when suddenly his gang comes pourin' into town. Chet made a move...Alex shot 'em....and I rode into the gang n' took most of 'em down. I caught a bullet for mah efforts....but when it was all over, Chet was bleedin' in the dirt, and most of his gang was dead." Brian's eyes lifted back up to meet the Deputy's. "Since I was wounded n' couldn't get far, I convinced Alex to take the stolen horses and leave town. I'd planned to meet up with him later, and we'd live on the money from sellin' those horses. 'Cept neither of us got far. The lady gambler caught up with me. She hid me in a cabin...probably saved my life with her herb recipie n' bandages. Then the saloon girl joined us, and I eventually got word of Alex bein' arrested..." It was here that the words broke off, and Brian took a long moment to continue. "I realized Alex was gonna pay for my crimes. Everythin' had been mah idea so I couldn't let that happen. I rode back to town to break him outta jail. Of course, when I saw y'all together, I thought he'd sold me out....but...you know all that." With a deep, settling breath, Brian made a request. "MaryAnne...let Alex go. This mess wasn't his doin'....he's just a drifter caught up in a whirlwind. Take me in, instead....and let him go." (cue anybody!)

Brian leaned over in the saddle and shook Alex's hand, giving the blonde drifter a smile. "When I heard you were busted, I rode back to town to git you outta jail. So naturally, ah was a little confused, n' then alarmed, when I saw ya ridin' with the law. I shoulda known that you wouldn't have sold out, Alex." With that, Brian released the handshake, and looked at MaryAnne. Chance had just asked a very important question to the Deputy.... .....and the answer meant a great deal to the futures of both Brian and Alex. (cue MaryAnne!)

Howdy, JD Jr. Welcome to HazzardNet! That's a decent premise ya got there. Thing is, I don't think WB is gonna embrace much with the original Duke series anymore. But don't let that stop ya...who knows, maybe they'd consider a 3rd TV reunion movie. Hard to say, but if they thought they could make a buck off of it, maybe they would. There's less commitment in a single-episode tv movie, than in another series, so that might be the better possibility to sell. Don't take my advice too much to heart, tho'....I ain't a professional scriptwriter. I don't want to discourage ya. Just sharing some business thinkin'. Go for it, and good luck! Brian

"So am I, cousin. Woulda been the worst mistake of my life." There was an apology in Brian's tone, and he reached up and touched the brim of his hat in a salute-like gesture. He then nudged Damascus closer. After a sober pause, Brian made a decision. "If Alex is in your custody.....then I am, too. Ah can show ya proof enough with the bullet I caught, that some of the ruckus was in self-defense. From there...we'll have to sort it out." (Cue MaryAnne - then open cue)

"It ain't?" Brian looked at MaryAnne, Alex and Chance and read the truth in their expressions. "Aw hell...." Feeling awkward, he holstered his pistol and leaned back in the saddle. He cleared his throat and attempted an explanation. "Well....all I saw was the three of ya thunderin' after me, and with Chet shot and a bunch of rustlers dead in the streets....I....." Brian paused, seeing MaryAnne staring at him. "Um.....awright, I thought Alex sold me out to save his own neck, and this lady gambler was gonna back up his story or somethin'! Last ah'd known, Alex was in jail, and then I see this, and...." Shrugging, Brian broke off his explanation, and waited to see how much trouble he was really in. (cue MaryAnne!)