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I AM GOING TO FUHREAKKKK

bo-go-vroom replied to bo-go-vroom's topic in Off Topic

Okay I need to vent for a minute or two Homeschooling is all fun and games until you graduate early and can't get a job because nobody wants to hire a 17 year old, or nobody needs workers cause it's a small town and you can't drive anywhere because your parents never take you out so you're probably not gonna pass your drivers test and even if you do, you probably still cant go out because you dont have your own car and your dad uses the shared car to do doordash because he also cant get a job and your mom's car is off limits so you get stuck at home anyways. Oh and then you also have no friends because you f***ing dropped out AND moved across the country so you didnt go to school to meet new people, and people online don't wanna talk to you either so you either spam discord servers with no response or just stop talking and posting at all sending you further into the no interaction hole All of this causing you to just stay in your room for months on end, only having human interaction at dinner time and every other weekend when your brother comes over, but they're all still too focused on the baby for it to even matter that you're there at all so you just end up going back to your room which gives you KILLER depression and now everything that you used to love is just boring. I don't wanna play my favorite video games because I have no friends to play them with. I don't want to draw or craft because it takes too much commitment to finish. I don't wanna watch movies because they take too long. Even talking to my boyfriend has gotten boring. And you can't talk to any adults about it because they always say you have "just not be depressed". My mom told me that moving to the living room would probably help a lot, and when I told her that I don't like being out there so I would just end up back in my room she said "Well you just have to do it" or when I express my fears about calling companys for a job she said "well you just have to do it" and I don't know if she's noticed, but i'm autistic, so my brain doesnt allow me to "just do things" I need a structured plan of action and support. So really the only people you can talk to is people your age, but oh guess what??? You don't have any friends, so then you turn to people online, but oh guess what??? NOBODY F*CKING RESPONDS. You have 132 followers on Twitter, but only 1-2 people ever like, nobody but your boyfriend comments, and you're starting to get really pissed at every notification ever being your boyfriend because just once I'd like it to be somebody else. Just once, you'd like to talk to somebody who isn't him. But that's not gonna happen cause no matter how much you post or comment or talk, barely anybody ever responds And the things you like are either so niche or so old that people your age don't even know about them. So even if I was to find a space online for it, it'd either be dead or full of old people (no offence). OR BOTH! And you can't find real people because the one guy I found, ghosted me. My mom found some girl on facebook needed friends, didnt even text me back. GUYS Just once I'd like to find somebody who wants to actually be my friend and isn't online every 5-7 business days and doesn't treat me as the side friend that they only go to when their main friends are offline. Just once I'd like for my parents to actually worry about MY life and teach me independency and take my autism seriously. I once was talking about how I go nonverbal and dont talk and how that could be a problem at a job and my mom said "you talk about it like its a disabilty"....IT IS????? And actually take me places that arent for a reason. Like driving only because I need to learn or taking me out grocery shopping just to get out of the house. Why not taking me to the Antique store. Just cause. Or the nearby tiger sanctuary, just cause you want to spend time with me. It's always "you need to get out of the house" but then never getting me out of the house and when they do its rarely something I enjoy.