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Duke-ified Christmas Songs!


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We all have our favorite Christmas Carols. Do you ever find yourself "duke-ifying" them by changing the lyrics? If so, post your masterpieces here!

I did three songs, heres #1!

Sheriff Rosco’s Coming to Town.

He’s handing out tickets,

Writing them twice,

He don’t care if you’re naughty or nice,

Sheriff Rosco’s coming to town

He sees you when you're driving

He knows which way you go,

He’ll blast those sirens and chase you,

Even if youre going slow,

You better watch out

You better not cry

He’ll write you a ticket,

It don’t matter why,

Sheriff Rosco’s coming to town.

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song #2!

Bo Duke Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Bo Duke got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the farmhouse from the Boars Nest, Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for the now lone Duke boy… he believes!

He'd been drinkin' too much flat beer,

And Luke begged him not to go.

But he’d let the General elsewhere,

And went to get him as he stumbled out into the snow.

When they found Bo Christmas mornin',

At the scene of the attack.

There were hoof prints on his forehead,

And incriminatin' Hogg marks on his back.

Bo Duke got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the farmhouse from the Boars Nest, Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for the now lone Duke boy… he believes!

Now the ham is on the table

And the apple pies so golden brown,

There’s a ton of food now at the Duke house,

Now that Bo and his appetite aren’t around,

The Dukes have warned all their friends and neighbors.

Better watch out for yourselves.

They should never give a license,

To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Bo Duke got run over by a reindeer

Walking to the farmhouse from the Boars Nest, Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for the now lone Duke boy… he believes!

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Song #3!

On the 1st day of Christmas

On the 1st day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me….

A ride in the General Lee….

On the 2nd day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Two beers at the Boars Nest…

And a ride in the General Lee….

On the 3rd day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Three flat tires…

Two beers at the Boars Nest

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 4th day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 5th day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Fiiiiive… jugs of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 6th day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Six doggy num-nums

Fiiiiive… jugs of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 7th day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Seven scuffed patrol cars,

Six doggy num-nums

Fiiiiive… jugs of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 8th day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Eight speeding tickets,

Seven scuffed patrol cars,

Six doggy num-nums

Fiiiiive… jugs of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 9th day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Nine Hazzard shortcuts,

Eight speeding tickets,

Seven scuffed patrol cars,

Six doggy num-nums

Fiiiiive… jugs of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 10th day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Ten Cooter tune-ups

Nine Hazzard shortcuts,

Eight speeding tickets,

Seven scuffed patrol cars,

Six doggy num-nums

Fiiiiive… jugs of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 11th day of Christmas, the Duke boys gave to me…

Eleven phony charges,

Ten Cooter tune-ups

Nine Hazzard shortcuts,

Eight speeding tickets,

Seven scuffed patrol cars,

Six doggy num-nums

Fiiiiive… jugs of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a ride in the General Lee…

On the 12th day of Christmas, the Duke Boys gave to me…

Twelve bungled bad guys,

Eleven phony charges,

Ten Cooter tune-ups

Nine Hazzard shortcuts,

Eight speeding tickets,

Seven scuffed patrol cars,

Six doggy num-nums

Fiiiiive… jugs of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Four blown up stills,

Three flat tires,

Two beers at the Boars Nest,

And a riiiiiide in the General Leeeeeee…

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If you've already posted a Dukes Christmas song on the forums, just post a link to it in this thread. Here's another 12 Days of Christmas entry...

http://www.hazzardnet.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7089

how do i post links im really bad at this cause i was gonna use the one i made up the other day the one with mine and your signatures in it

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On the First day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see......Enos kissing Daisy

On the Second day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see........... a Coltrain in a big tree

On the Third day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see............the boys in the General Lee

On the Fourth day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see..........Boss being lazy

On the Fifth day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see.......Cooter being Crazy

On the Sixth day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see.........Rosco being nosy

On the Seventh day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see...... the boys skinny dipping

On the Eighth day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see.........Boss counting his money

On the Ninth day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see..........Cooter fixing the General Lee

On the Tenth day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see......the boys driving Daisy

On the Eleventh day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see..........Uncle Jesse lookin' worried bout' Daisy

On the Twelth day of Christmas in Hazzard I did see.......Enos marrying Daisy

ahh wat the heck i just typed it again if you dont mind

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Heres another song!

Do you hear what I hear?

Said the Sheriff to his velvet ears

Do you see what I see

Way up in the sky velvet ears

Do you see what I see

The General Lee, The General Lee

Flying in the night

With a jump as high as a kite

With a jump as high as a kite

Do you hear what I hear?

Said the Sheriff to his Deputy

Do you hear what I hear

Ringing through the sky Deputy

Do you hear what I hear

A car, a car

High above the trees

With an engine as loud as the sea

With an engine as loud as the sea

Do you hear what I hear?

Said the Deputy to the mighty Hogg

Do you know what I know

In your county office mighty Hogg

Do you know what I know

Two Dukes, Two Dukes

Are sitting in your jail,

And they have no money for bail,

And they have no money for bail

Do you hear what I hear?

Said the Hogg to the Hazzard citizens,

Listen to what I say

Two Dukes, Two Dukes

Are sleeping in my jail

And they have no money for bail,

Wont you help and get money for bail?

Two Dukes, Two Dukes

Now can pay the fee!

And now they have been set free!

And now they have been… set… freeeeeeee!!

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The Mr. Grinch Song

You're a mean one, Mr. Hogg.

You really are a pig.

You're as cuddly as a polecat

in a Loretta Lynn wig.

Mr. Hogg.

You're a stale mug of beer

Without any fizz.

You're a monster, Mr. Hogg.

You make Rosco drive into a hole.

You blame everything on the sherriff,

When the fault is all your own.

Mr. Hogg.

You wouldn't even help him,

To get poor Flash a bone.

You're a vile one, Mr. Hogg.

No one can trust your smile.

You rob the people left and right

The Dukes can't get fair trial.

Mr. Hogg.

Even Jesse won't put up with you,

And he's known you for a while.

You're a foul one, Mr. Hogg.

Poor Daisy's not been paid.

You never let her keep her tips,

And her shorts are getting frayed.

Mr. Hogg.

And if they get any shorter,

The men are going to go insane!

You're a rotter, Mr. Hogg.

Lulu doesn't know what to do.

You don't appreciate her

Though she's always there for you,

Mr. Hogg.

You'd better change your ways real quick,

Or she just might be leaving you.

You nauseate me, Mr. Hogg.

Like a pair of Cooter's socks.

You're as dirty as a dipstick

When the oil is only clots.

Mr. Hogg.

You're a plate of raw liver with black coffee,

With arsenic sauce.

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(This is pretty bad, but it was fun....to the tune of O Christmas Tree)

O General Lee, O General Lee...

Your beauty is unchanging

O General Lee, O General Lee...

Your beauty is unchanging

Bright orange paint, with 01 on the side

Rebel flag on the hood, Dixie sounding in the sky

O General Lee, O General Lee...

Your beauty is unchanging.

O General Lee, O General Lee...

Your flying ways delight me

O General Lee, O General lee...

Your flying ways delight me

You jump the pond so easily

Make ducks scatter so fearfully

O General Lee, O General Lee...

Your flying ways delight me

O General Lee, O General Lee...

You serve the Dukes so faithfully

O General Lee, O General Lee...

You serve the Dukes so faithfully

When Rosco chases you get away

Boss's scam is foiled, again that day...

O General Lee, O General Lee...

You serve the Dukes so faithfully.

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Deck the Halls

Deck the farm with Nascar trophies

Fa la la la la la la la la

Put them up with Daisy's laundry

Fa la la la la la la la la

Is there room next to the moonshine?

Fa la la la la la la la la

Drink it now because it's prime

Fa la la la la la la la la

Deck the Boar's Nest with some holly

Fa la la la la la la la la

Before we all get drunk by golly

Fa la la la la la la la la

All the beer is watered down

Fa la la la la la la la la

So we won't get drunk, but we might drown

Fa la la la la la la la la

Deck the jail with Bo and Luke

Fa la la la la la la la la

Arrested again for being Dukes

Fa la la la la la la la la

Bail is the same as the mortgage due

Fa la la la la la la la la

Does this sound like a standard episode to you?

Fa la la la la la la la la

Deck the General by a speed trap

Fa la la la la la la la la

The boys are runnin' for Rosco an' Flash

Fa la la la la la la la la

Now they do another jump

Fa la la la la la la la la

And Rosco's car is now a speed bump

Fa la la la la la la la la

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  • 1 year later...

It's been nearly 2 years since anyone posted a Duke-ified Christmas song, so I thougth it was about time we had a new one. I originally wrote this a few months ago, but thought I'd wait until December to post it. Looking at it now, there's no mention of Christmas in my version, but most of the others don't mention Christmas either :).

My song is to the tune of 'Walking in a Winter Wonderland'. To get you in the mood, here's Connie Francis's version, which I was listening to when I changed the words.

Driving in a Hazzard Wonderland - (apologies to all who've recorded it before)

Dixie sounds

Are you listening

In the jug

Shine is glistening

We're filled with delight, there's Dukes on tonight

A driving in a Hazzard wonderland

Gone away is Grady Byrd

Here to stay

Is Rosco's word

There's one-ninety proof

A flag on the roof

A driving in a Hazzard wonderland

In the workshop

Cooter builds a Charger

And declares that it's the Gen'ral Lee

He fits a three eighteen, we say larger

Then jump him o'er the creek for all to see

Later on

We'll perspire

As we change that flat tire

And try to evade

Arrests that are made

A driving in a Hazzard wonderland

In the workshop ...

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Joy to the World - A Hazzard County Christmas! *Words in brackets are interludes - spoken over the musical break, to the tune of Joy to the World!*

(Daisy: Let's sing some Carols!

Bo: Alright, but me an' Luke got one of our own...special to Hazzard County.

Luke: Uhh no, Bo's got one of his own. I had no hand in this. I just play guitar)

Joy to the world

The Dukes are here!

All full of Christmas Cheer!

Daisy's turkey's brownin'

And Jesse's runnin' carollin'

The Duke Boys are runnin' too

Away from the boys in blue

Ready for Christmas

In Hazzard County!

(Luke: We're runnin' from the law Bo? Even on Christmas?

Bo: Hey it wouldn't be Hazzard County if we weren't!)

Joy to the World

The Gen'ral's back

With Bo and Luke in tact.

Rosco was not so lucky

Got stuck in something mucky

But Cooter will tow him back

Praying Boss won't give him the sack!

In time for Christmas

In Hazzard County!

(Rosco: Khee Khee! Look at that Flash! I'm in the song!

Boss: You lose them Duke Boys again before New Year and that ain't the only thing you'll be in!)

Joy to the World

Please don't be blue

Our song is nearly through (Luke: Thank the lord, this is so cheesy Bo)

We thank you old and new

for sticking to us like glue

We just have one thing to say

Before we all part ways

Merry Christmas

From Hazzard County!

(Luke: That is the absolute last time I let you write the carol Bo.)

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  • 2 weeks later...

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