Brian Coltrane

HazzardNet is independent of all other Dukes clubs and websites, and always has been, and unless MeadowMufn gets her brain reprogrammed by aliens I doubt that will ever change. Tho' over the years, we've been good neighbors with the Confederate General Lee Fan Club. We recognize that several people on HNet hail from there, and that's cool. You're always welcome. As are members of whatever other sites and clubs. I'm going to break from HazzardNet's officially neutral stance on all the fandom politics and tell you exactly what I think of the "official" DOH fan club as run by Aneesh. I used to be a dues-paying member of it. The opinions expressed from here on out are my own, and not necessarily those of HNet, or Mufn, or MaryAnne. Aneesh, by his own admission, is a kid who never wanted to work for a living. So he came up with a fan club and suckered people into paying $15 to join. I was one of the morons who fell for his ad in a trade publication back in the mid-90's. What I got for fifteen dollars was diddly-squat. Aneesh would send out a poorly photocopied "newsletter" about three times a year, that was barely legible. His partner in slime, Michael Streit, helped him a lot. Michael had an impressive Dukes collection. The purpose of the first Dukesfest that he and Aneesh put on in Covington, GA, was more or less an opportunity to pimp Michael's Dukes collection. Aneesh also sold bootleg copies of photographs along with items that had been donated to the "club." Michael had told me back then that he was getting ready to get out and that's why he was letting go of all the stuff he could. In short he was cashing in now that he had an opportunity. One of the things Michael cashed in on, was an autographed photo he'd received free from Jimmy. Michael turned around and sold it to a fan for $35.00. The fan took it to Jimmy at a later appearance, and asked if he could personalize it. Jimmy recognized it, found out what the fan paid for it, and was very upset. This was just one example of many. This happened with many materials that the "official" club got for free from cast members and WB. I'd like to say that the proceeds went to the club to "cover expenses" but that'd be baloney. Isn't that why they charged a membership fee - and still do? These are the same guys who can barely send a newsletter or keep a website running. I do give them credit for organizing a fan event of any kind, and in getting Ben and Sonny and Jerry Rushing and Don Pedro to hang out for awhile. Tho' Aneesh charged $25 to fan club members for advance tickets. Yet if you walked in off the streets of Covington, as whoever, you got in for $10. ( It was a tiny set up in an empty retail store in a strip mall. ) There were a handful of Chargers there, but they couldn't stay put long enough for fans to see them. They were busy running around town and showing off. There was supposedly a "guided tour" of filming sites, and cars were supposed to follow a GL. The GL went so fast that many people got lost. There was no schedule of events. There was a party at the original Boar's Nest, a half-assed affair that required more money to attend. I think I paid $20 more to get into that. Other people later showed up at the door and got in free. I realized fast that there was no altruism in this "fan club" and members were not treated equally. I could tell ya'll a lot of dirt. But what speaks louder than anything I could say, is the fact that Ben himself banned the "official" DOH club from representation at DukesFest. Wanna know why? Aneesh/Marky B. had bought a bunch of photos from Cooter's Place, back when this was at Sperryville, and then marked them up to sell at their "club" table. There were other issues, but out of respect to the parties concerned and our usual neutrality, I won't detail them. I realize that there's very few saints in the fandom, and the cast members themselves are very dollar-driven. This is a fandom, this is a family, but it's also a business and means of income to many people and I'm keenly aware of that. When it comes to the "official" fan club, my advice is, save your money. Brian

Just a quick note, last week's ep, "Night Shifter" ROCKED. The beginning was a little slow. But once the main chaos kicked in, it kept getting more intense by the minute. This ep combined weirdness with a cops n' robbers shoot-em-up, and the effect was a double-whammy of action and suspense. If this show doesn't make it a third season, it won't be the writer's fault.

I'll admit I'm not the technical one of the group. There is a cap to the avatar sizes now. In fact I couldn't get my own avatar to work, as apparently I exceeded the Ego Limit. So, the first thing I do as a moderator is yell for tech support. Stuff like this keeps me humble. We may have to tweak a few things (ouch!) but so far this system looks pretty good.

Awright, so I'm an idiot and I can't figure out how to make a sig work. But, I'm havin' all kinds of fun editing MaryAnne's posts. Purely in the interest of testing, of course. This new forum format seems robust enuff, don'tcha think? I'm digging it so far, though there's a lot I haven't experimented with yet. The ability to add thumbnail pics is pretty cool.

Stumbled across this, thought I'd share. CW now offers their new eps online, the night after the tv airing. I gave this a try, and it didn't run real smooth for me. Lots of stalling. Not sure if it's their media player or my machine. I have no trouble with any other video applications. Give it a try yourself if you'd like: http://video.cwtv.com/

The Thurs 01/25 ep looks good, comin' up. Here's a synopsis: Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) investigate a string of robberies with a disturbing pattern, in each incident a trusted employee holds up the bank then commits suicide. I saw a preview of this ep. Sam and Dean were trapped in a bank, surrounded by a SWAT team. Need I say more. On an aside, thanks to CW's screwing up of every show handed to it by WB, it looks like the fate of Supernatural is in doubt. Whether or not a third season will be bankrolled remains to be seen. The show's ratings have dropped since CW's takeover - but frankly all of WB's shows have dropped since CW's takeover. Supernatural, however, may be too edgy for mass-market appeal, and therefore not profitable enough in attracting advertisers. Personally I think that's baloney, but often those who decide the fate of a show, are those who've never seen an episode. It's all about ratings and revenue. (and even that win-win combo didn't save the Dukes from cancellation after season 7.) The jury is still out for Sam and Dean. The February ratings will have a lot to do on whether or not Supernatural creeps into a third season - or becomes its own ghost. Brian

MaryAnne has never lied to me, nor handed down an empty threat. I can say that much after several years. She wouldn't mention a third party unless there was one ready and active to step in, in more than one way. There's a few people I'm not popular with, even here on HNet. And when you factor in animosity from other haunts long past, it's anybody's guess. In fact, Miss Daney, you were on my list of suspects. Only stands to reason, given our long, mutually-antagonistic and storied history. In this case though, I even have to suspect my closest friends. Alex claims it's not him, but he quickly volunteered last time, without even asking if I was just gone for a break, or what. Didn't matter, he just saw a chance to be the boot-licker for MaryAnne. He was also pretty quick this time to claim innocence. Makes me wonder. And the "Lukas" party recently admitted on this very thread that we didn't get along so well in the past. Was that a subtle hint, subtle warning, hidden in a post of supposed support? Cripes, if I were to list all the likely suspects by name, I'd be here all night. Which is a bad idea, considering I should be writing....argh. Brian

Not just a threat, but now it's double-or-nothing. Of all the "volunteers" I could guess from, there's certainly one or two who'd especially enjoy writing my exit notice. But if you put yourself into this little bet....just who the hell is gonna run this joint ?! I think MeadowMufn might be in for some real news if I can't cough up a story to make you happy. Now I'm riled up and feeling guilty. @#$%&*......

Here's everything you want, or don't want, to know about the new direct-to-DVD Dukes movie. In the video clips, are a few examples of our new Bo and Luke, doing things like dressing in drag, and.... well, go see for yourself. Read the "Daisy's Blog" entries for story synopsis and photos. http://www.myspace.com/daisymaed Apparently the Dukes drive an ATV through a girl's locker room. I'd heard about that one, but I didn't expect a few of the other things in here. Ladies, take note of the Duke boys getting into a squirming wrestling match, sans shirts, while washing the car. Interestingly enough, though April Scott is billed as the hottie of the flick, she doesn't seem to have any of the risque' scenes. Then again, there's an "Unrated" version coming out as well, so...who knows. Spend your money as ya see fit. Brian

How would I miss it? Just because I haven't been occupying every square inch of this place lately, doesn't mean I don't pay attention. I've caught your little smarty-grams here, haven't I? "Volunteer". Nice way of putting "sell out" or "backstabber." What'd you promise him, MaryAnne? Fame as a moderator? Secret access to our direct contacts at CMT and WB? Or the priviledge of polishing your boots?

A volunteer?! I wouldn't believe that, except....there's so many people who'd probably sell me out for a nickel. Or less. I remember Alex stepping right over me in that other topic, when he thought for a second that a new moderator was needed. In fact, several people piped up. Which means, if all else, just for spite I need to turn in a @#$%&* story and keep my position here. Not to meantion my head. But I'm gonna find out who this "volunteer" is, who would so cheerfully participate in my removal. And another thing, since when do you use henchmen?! Ain't that more my style? Since when do you need somebody else to do your dirty work?

For any of y'all who haven't heard, John has a fun, action-packed movie that he's put together for families to enjoy. While it's not a Dukes movie, per se, there's plenty of Dukes references in it. Check out the movie trailer on the MySpace link below! http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1342219299 Whatcha think, ya'll ? Wanna see it? Brian

Well, a baton certainly beats - if you'll pardon the expression - the other motivational tools you've recently displayed. Tho' I won't bring up that other conversation from the movie forums here. But I just did. Bahahaha. Anyhow, you've responded to my laziness with several assorted threats. I'm beginnin' to think yer serious. Maybe.

Ok, I see it there in the fine print in the bold letters at the top. Musta missed that somehow. Doesn't mean we can't talk this over. Make a little deal. I'm sure I could come up with something in the days remaining, but just in case, how about accepting a reasonable bribe? I'm sure there's somethin' you'd enjoy having, like car parts...or a new baton...car posters....name it.

No, I haven't. Besides, I've got until what.... Feb 6th. Say, you never specified of what year, Feb 6th. This is due in 2008, right? Brian

I'm glad to see so many of ya'll offer to write something! You have mah heartfelt thanks, story or not. It's the thought that counts. And I wish the thought was enuff, because I'm looking at a blank page with no title. GAH!!! Ya know, I'd be hard pressed to write an episode summary for TV Guide right now, let alone an entire story. Yet somewhere within, is creative juice and balsamic vinegar and two beers. That outta be enuff to get something flowing. I hope. What's today...January 10th? Gives me 25 days if I start tonight. Plenty of time. No reason to panic. GAAAAAAAH!!

Awright!! At last count, I have at least 2 friends willing to bail me out ! That's twice as many as I expected. Ya'll can write....right?? Those Dukes fanfic stories gotta be to her Depu-ness, MaryAnne, by Feb 6. No need to panic, but that's less than 30 days. I'm also trying to come up with a good ol' fashioned traditional Dukes story. Now if only I can remember anything about the show. Lessee....the Jeep is named Daisy and it's driven by Dixie Duke. The dark-haired boy is named Judd and his blonde cousin is called Coy. They drive a 1969 Dodge Cornet. They don't carry guns because they're poor and you can't reuse bullets like ya can arrows. Piece o' cake! This outta be easy....

Compared to you, lately....yeah!! I haven't threatened you with incarceration, exile, or worse. At least, not in a long time. I threatened you once, years ago, with a "Deputies Wanted" post, and the town rallied to ya. People clamoured for my ousting. Only a handful of a few, misguided loyalists took my side in the fracas. The majority of the populace wanted me outta there. Are those few loyalists still out there? Or will the lack of story submissions speak for itself? Could I complete a story these days, if my life literally depended on it? I guess we'll find out. MaryAnne, I accept yer challenge and the stakes. Tho' this is up there with your All-Time Rotten Shenangians.

Permanent exile?? Ya know, I'm startin' to get inspired with a story idea: An Evil Deputy holds the small town of Hazzard in thrall with her nefarious schemes. She threatens her innocent kin with brutal consequences if her demands aren't met....all to further her own influence over this tiny, helpless community. With nowhere else to go and time running short, our hero's only hope is in the ability of the townsfolk to rally to his defense. Ya like that one?

MaryAnne, it's a shame that after all these years of mutal collaberation and teamwork, you find it necessary to threaten me in order to get creative contributions. You could try bribing me, ya know. Offer a cash incentive. Throw in a paid vacation to Rio. Besides, I know you'd never really cut off my access and lock me away. Or erase my character profile. Despite yer smarmy little threat of a writers "g". Hell, you haven't banned me from HNet in at least 2 years.

You've got to be crazy. No, I don't have my story written yet. In fact I only recently stumbled upon yer madness on the Dukesofhazzardfanfic.com site. My reaction, to wit, was something to the effect of, "GAAAAAAAAH!!" Ok, maybe I've been a little ree-laxed about my duties here on HNet and about supporting DOHFF.com. But ain't this takin' things a bit far?

To remark on something Tim mentioned - yes, there was a problem with security. Specifically, the private Nashville company of "Rock Solid Events", I believe it was called. Of all the things that didn't go right that weekend - that's probably the worst. The safety of the fans and the cast is the top priority. Don't anyone get me wrong, I love DukesFest. This past year, however, I saw things getting out of control. Fortunately, Dukes fans as a norm are among the most patient and well-behaved folks out there. Certainly, the Ticketmaster sales can be counted and there's some measure of prediction for attendance. What can't be predicted though, is the number of people showing up at the gate, buying same-day tix. This wasn't as big of problem in Bristol TN, because Bristol ain't exactly a huge town and it's not a tourist mecca. Nashville was a whole 'nuther ball game and the thing blew wide open. Tim is correct, there has been much gnashing of teeth from the General Lee club about certain issues. I also heard complaints from fans who paid for a ride in the ski car - who never got the ride and never got a refund. I heard a lot of happy stories from fans, too. But plain and simple, there was double the attendence this past year and there were twice the problems. I do believe, however, that in having a better idea what to expect this year, that the problems will be reduced. There were some amazing things in the 2006 DukesFest - a fantastic concert with the full cast, and the incredible jump, just to name a couple. I think the 2007 DukesFest will be great. Brian

Dukesfest 2007 will be better. I can't say there won't be any logistical problems - hell, there's always logistical problems, and it only gets bigger every year. Each Dukesfest, there's more Generals showing up, more fans showing up - even more cast members showing up. More media shows up. How does the event grow, and include more fans, without getting completely out of control ? There's nothing else like this on the planet. It's a car show. It's a stunt show. It's a concert. It's an autograph session. It's a festival. And it's all up for grabs. Man, I'd be happy just to see decent food at these things. Last year I was served a cold hot dog and a flat Coke for five bucks. Anyhow - what do ya do? Raise ticket prices way up, and have fewer people attend? Keep the lower ticket prices, but limit access, reduce events, get people in and out in an eyeblink after they've traveled 15 hours to be there? Hey, I remember when scoring a venue with a flushing toliet was an accomplishment. All that said - I agree that the participants , from the car owners to the volunteers to the cast members, need to be treated well and have things organized, so that all fans can have the best possible experience. If Dukesfest stops being fun - or safe - then it's time to call it quits. Brian

Hey! I'll admit I've performed a number of school pranks in my day, and I've posted a few rotten ideas here n' there for the aspiring delinquents in our midst. But you can't blame me for that one. What idiot would pull a prank alarm at 3 a.m.? It's much more effective to pull the ol' fire drill during exams. Brian

Tim, thanks for posting the official release date. I've been slacking lately and haven't been digging around for the gritty details. And I do mean gritty. Or maybe slimy? Heh heh. Everybody is entitled to their opinions, and ALL opinions are welcome on HazzardNet. Because we stay on friendly terms with WB, we'll be promoting this flick, whether or not all the HNet staff personally agrees with the content. We're not looking to alienate the orthodox fans of the original series - but nor will we alientate those who want to see the movie. Of course we have our own opinions, and as prior threads have proven, we can display more poor taste than just about anybody. On another note, we are also going to promote John's movie, Collier & Co. As soon as I get off my duff and do the write-ups. This movie is more to the original Dukes spirit, though it's not a Dukes of Hazzard movie, per se. But hell, it's got a Charger in it. Brian