Brian Coltrane

You're never gonna get over that firing squad scene, are ya. Gettin' a little sensitive these days, cousin? The good news is, this ain't a western! You're perfectly safe. For the most part.

Aw, I can't tell ya what it's about, or I'd spoil the story. But you can trust me to handle your character with all the usual care and delicacy that's made our adventures the idle sunday afternoon reading that we're famous for.

MaryAnne, on a completely unrelated note...you don't mind if I use your endearing persona in an upcoming story, do ya?

Rosco fans? Here? There goes the neighborhood. Personally, I really liked the job Dick Sargent did as Sheriff Grady Byrd in the Dukes ep, "Jude Emery." Coulda kept him around instead, don't ya think? JUST KIDDING!! Don't shoot. Brian

I'm officially entering the Dog Collar Challenge! Hey, they say to write what ya know, so.... ahem!! Just kiddin'. Seriously, this is will be a scintillating love story involving --- Whups. Wrong notes. That story is for another website. Heheheheh. Actually, this story will be about a bet made between two people that I won't mention here, but let's just say the other party likes wearing blue tops and sports a badge on her shirt. Brian

Welcome back to those of y'all returning from Nashville! I've heard some feedback from a few HNet folks ( like Jax!) and it sounds like things went smoother this year. For one, the crowd wasn't as huge - possibly due to gas prices, and less commercial promotion by CMT this year. But the somewhat smaller crowd made things more accessible. The big news coming from the show, is that this was Ben and Alma's last year of running DukesFest. "Cooter" has put a lot of hard work and energy into DukesFest, and after several devoted years, they are passing the torch to John Schneider. We're glad to know that DukesFest will carry on into the future, and we give a big SALUTE to Ben and Alma for building this shinding into one of the best fan experiences anywhere to be had. Other news from the front - John did a bit of filming for his next movie at DukesFest, taking advantage of the full grandstand to get a good crowd scene. Yeehaa! That was an easy way to become a movie extra, wasn't it? We look forward to hearing everybody's feedback from DukesFest 2007! Please feel welcome to upload pics to the Gallery section to share them with us! Brian

Lord of the lap dogs?! MaryAnne, that's just rotten. I admire your wicked streak, but how about we let things settle and get back to what passes for normal, eh? Tho' I'll wear the dog collar if it makes you happy. Truce? Peace? Cousinhood? Brian

Yes ma'am. And may I just say, that I'm personally delighted to have things remain just as they are. I'm sure you didn't take any of my idle jests seriously. I'm happy just to be a part of the team here. And since I'm not making any signifigant changes to HazzardNet, I'm sure that goes for you too....right? Brian

MaryAnne, have I ever told you what a treat it is, to work with ya? Yer subtle little motivators mean so much. AWRIGHT! Official results! 10 total entries were submitted. Of those, one is MaryAnne's own incomplete story. But as I didn't finish mine either, I can't count that one against anything. The entries in this challenge exceeded the number that came in for the last challenge. The community has spoken. MaryAnne's badge and rank remains intact. The HazzardNet hierarchy remains as its been. This means that MaryAnne will not be subject to my insidious little schemes, such as changing her avatar to read "Bad Cop - No Donut" and making her use signatures that glorify yers truly. HazzardNet, as well, will not be undergoing any signifigant changes that may have been otherwise induced by me. At least this time. Brian

Don't gitcher uniform in a wrinkle! I'm not stalling. Don't get nervous and edgy on me now.

Awright, awright, I've got all the stories here, and I'm adding up the tally. We'll have the official results in just a few minutes. Daney, nice pic, but this wasn't a celebrity death match or anything. Good melodrama, though. HEH! Brian

It's hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet. They trust us, though, to make the right decisions for them, even when they can't tell us what's wrong. It's hard to let go no matter what, but we can't let them suffer. I'm no expert, but sometimes what helps with grief, is when we share it, and also when we do something positive where we can. Something as little as getting a small bag of wild bird seed and filling a feeder, can be good. No bird seed? Pitch an entire loaf of bread out the door if you can spare it. If all else, chuck each slice like a frisbee and you can't help but cheer yourself up. My condolences on Buddy. Take care, Brian

Oh, despite all the noise we get along pretty well. Tho' MaryAnne is officially an old fart today.

Well, well WELL! Muahahahahaha..... Ahem. Sorry, couldn't resist the evil chortle. It's not quite over yet. We're down to the wire, and things are looking close. MaryAnne's badge hangs in the balance. Entries are officially open through midnight Pacific time. Any other stuff ya wanna squeak in, send it as soon as ya finish it, and it might serve as an 11th-hour appeal for MaryAnne. On the plus side, I have to acknowledge that we've seen some fresh entries from folks who haven't participated in prior challenges. That's pretty cool and I know MaryAnne appreciates everybody's efforts. ( I do too, because I get a buncha new stuff to read. ) And to clear this up....no, I didn't fill up the HazzardNet email account. That, my friends, is true Coltrane luck and this time it was working in my favor more than MaryAnne's! Tho' the problem was temporary and I just got in another story a few minutes ago. Still, maybe HazzardNet itself - which is sentient enuff to scare us sometimes - wants a change in power. But I've sworn to play by the rules here, so the clock will continue to run. I'll count up things on Tuesday, and make the official announcement of my new promotion - or MaryAnne's full reinstatement - on Wednesday. Then, we'll find out for whom the dog collar fits. Brian

If you missed the episode "Hunted", where Dean is captured by an enemy hunter, who is using him as bait to bag Sam - don't miss it again! It's on Thursday, April 5th on the CW. This episode, like dang near all of them, is chock-full of angst and suspense. Well worth the hour. As Val mentioned, a prior ep called "Heart" was filled with unexpected twists and romance and....well, some steamy moments, to put it bluntly. So far, though, the Winchester boys do about as well as the Dukes when it comes to keeping a serious romance going. Anyhow! While digging around for SuperNatural stuff - I found a link about somebody's visit to the set. Has some pics too. http://blog.meevee.com/my_weblog/2007/04/meevee_exclusiv.html Brian

Mufn, if it makes you happy, I'll write a Dukes / Barbie Fairytopia fanfic crossover. Brian

I've never backed down from a challenge. I'm willing to put up my own stakes but Mufn has to ante up too. There's roughly five days left, so if we're gonna make this worse we'd better clarify the bet. That being said...MaryAnne, I doubt people are really rooting for a regime change. They might be curious as to the shenanigans I'll pull, but that doesn't mean you're not appreciated. Besides, there's a few days left for people to send in their stuff. As much as I'll enjoy getting my boots polished, and having tributes made, I'm not out to wound your ego. So I'll overlook the little things, like when you bow and issue the bird at the same time. Brian

HA! Not quite. There were 8 stories total, turned in for the last challenge. I'd think that MaryAnne could muster up an equal amount of support to keep her badge outta hock. Therefore, 8 stories is the target. If we get close to that, like 6 or 7, I'll probably be lenient. Otherwise, off with her head! Er, badge. Brian

What?! Wait a minute. There's less than a week! You wanna change the deal now? Waaaait a minute..... Right now, MaryAnne's only hope of keeping her place in the ranks is if enough other people come through for her and submit a story. So if I'm the one to benefit by the said change in ranks, why on earth would I turn in a story? It would end up counting towards her ransom. Hence my lazy taunts. But if you want to make it a sort of side challenge with me, to cough up a story of my own - with less than a week left - okay, but you're gonna halfta pony up a little risk of yer own, Mufn ol' cousin ol' buddy. How about you stand with MaryAnne on this one. If she gets demoted due to lack of story entries, then so do you. Then each of you would get the honor of reporting to me, and having avatars and signatures of my own choosing, and whatever else I come up with for amusement. Brian

"Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning" hit the top 20 in DVD sales during it's first week of release, scoring 16th. Other first-week releases include "Casino Royale" which rolled in to #1. Before anybody gets too excited about how well "The Beginning" is doing, consider this: It's also the first week of release for "Barbie: Fairytopia - The Magic of the Rainbow." It's at #6. ( Alex, you've got your copy of this already, right?) Brian

We'll know by next Monday, won't we. Meantime, I get to while away the scant remaining days by posting irritating banter and distracting those who don't have their stories done.

Are standing at over 5 million copies sold, per VideoBusiness.com. Five freakin' million copies. This, on top of global box office revenues of over 80 million bucks when the movie was in theatres. That's not counting the sales of the original series on DVD, nor the current sales of "The Beginning" straight-to-DVD movie. "Dukes of Hazzard" is an ATM machine for Warner Bros. I expect we'll see more Dukes incarnations beyond "The Beginning." Still no official news on the odds of a new series, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was at least another DVD project in the wings. Brian

MeadowMufn, the idea of owning HazzardNet outright never crossed my mind. No place to put it, for one thing. And the minute something technical blew up, I'd be calling you anyway. I'm content to have as much power and influence as possible while letting somebody else hold the bag on the details. I know you're looking forward to my upcoming promotion, seeing as how you haven't turned in a story on MaryAnne's behalf. Brian

Oh, and MaryAnne... not a bad start, but you need to work on your subservience. Try bowing a little lower and get the sarcasm outta yer voice. You got about 7 days to practice. Brian

Val, ain't you over-reacting just a bit? I mean, comparing my ascention to a higher rank to the devestation of global warming? And then suggesting that preventing my promotion equals a fight for justice and freedom? Come on, you know I'm a creampuff to work with. I'm easy going, relaxed, and casual. Why, me taking over MaryAnne's rank would hardly be noticed for the most part. Think about it, life around here could be a lot easier in the near future. At least for those who choose to stay on my good side. You should follow Alex's wise example. You can't go wrong by dispensing some flattery and getting me a few presents. It'll help the transition of power go much smoother. Brian