Brian Coltrane

Here, found this preview clip of the next new episode. There's a hint of a car chase in here and some shoot-em-ups. Yeehaaw. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCUkpprk4h0

Yeah, I don't know what's up with the re-runs already, but the next new episode looks worth the wait. Meantime, here's a clip of the lighter moments of the brothers Winchester, as found on YouTube. ( This ain't the same as the official blooper reel, this is stuff from actual eps.) Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg4BC6LsWFc

Heh heh.... Ah, I love this job. Keeps me on my toes. Yeah, by all accounts I've got so far, which are few, this thing is gonna be like "Porky's" packaged as "Dukes of Hazzard." More soon. I'll start a new thread that's more officious without all our shenanigans in the middle of it. Wow, HazzardNet's protective word filter is interesting. Apparently we can't say " porn " but I can say "masochist." And I think I'm gonna behave for the duration here. Honestly. Brian

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! That's not a slap! Yiiii Yiii Yiiii !! Umm....movie news!! Quick! Where the hell is that article! Jeeze, the job pressure around here...No, that wasn't a complaint! HERE! Here's something official!! Source: actressarchives.com Thursday, November 16, 2006 The DVD release of the upcoming DUKES OF HAZZARD movie prequel will feature soft porn scenes of naked girls showering. Actress APRIL SCOTT, who plays DAISY DUKE in the new film DUKES OF HAZZARD: THE BEGINNING, reveals sexy shower scenes were filmed just to titillate. She tells men's magazine Stuff, "There are so many behind-the-scenes extras of naked girls - but not me. "There are some scenes with girls in a locker room, with the boys running through there. In one scene the girls are in their underwear, and all of a sudden in the next scene they're all naked, (it's) like a shower scene." There! See?! I did some work! Brian

Gah! It's just fine. Ma'am. Talk about havin' a new leash on life. *ACK!* Anyhow! Back to our program. Coming up - and I mean it this time - I've got DVD movie news and photos. Got an article where April Scott talks about a shower scene that involves full frontal nudity. (Not of her.) Tho' I think anything WB can come up with at this point, pales in comparison to our current sexpectations. Dammit, did it again. Somebody slap me. NO! I take that back! Brian

Yeah, Alex, bite your tongue. Easy to do, it's been hangin' outta your mouth enough. You're one twisted customer. Oh, listen. They're playing your song. Yyyyy M-C-A! It's fun to stay at the Yyyy Mmm C Aaaa-aaa! Brian

This just goes to show ya, this thread has been enlightening concerning the amount of self-discovery it's offered to our members. Right Alex? For crying out loud, get a grip on yerself.

It's a "binding contract", awright. I should have had an escape clause put in there, but I never expected certain restraining measures to be so literally applied. And I've taken pains to resolve certain internal issues....ow. Beats being fired, though. And Alex, could you have jumped over my incapacitated body any faster to take my job?! I'll remember this one, buddy. The way you've been drooling over MaryAnne, I hope you're wearing a bib. If nothing else. On a positive note, it's good that so many of you enjoy this place enough to be willing to join us in the pit. All you guys would make great mods, and if the need ever seriously presented itself, we'd give y'all official consideration. Fortunately for me, HazzardNet, like the rest of Hazzard County, puts a lot of value on nepotism. Brian

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.

Beats me. Just when you thought the innunedo was winding down. Bahaha! Ahem. Oh, put that down, I'll answer! According to the DVD industry site that I follow, says "Spring" of 2007. WB's earlier press releases said "early" 2007. I'm gonna peg that to mean March or April.

Mufn, you ain't kiddin'. Hell, WB will probably use half of this in the movie. Alex, when I told you that I was kept on a very short leash around here - I meant it. Literally. When I say that somebody is yanking my chain on HNet, I ain't just whistling The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Why, lemme tell ya what an average day around here is like. Every day, I show up and check in and and if I'm lucky then I've done everything right and I avoid getting any further reminders. I'm sure there's labor laws against this kind of thing, which is why I choose to stay here.

Gag?! MaryAnne, you really need to learn to restrain yerself. And since you already carry handcuffs, that outta be easy. Meantime, if anybody wants to break into a chorus of YMCA, beat my guest.

Ok, maybe it's not much of a new look. Though I'm enjoying my new dog collar that says, "moderator." On an aside, I have to compliment everyone here for the worst forum thread we've ever had in the history of HazzardNet. And we owe the inspiration to WB, for cranking out yet another R-rated Dukes of Hazzard offering. To the producer of this new, upcoming beer coaster packaged as a DVD, I'd just like to say spank you very much. For those of you totally disgusted by all this but unable to look away, don't worry. We'll resume normal programming shortly with real news about the direct-to-DVD movie. Which ain't any cleaner, but what the hell. Brian

Okay, I thought about it, and against my better judgment I'm going to post a picture of my new, risque' moderator-wear! I decided on an image that is tough, sexy and edgy. So here's the new look - bare beneath leather! I think it speaks to my sensitive side, too. Of course, there's something to be said for the classic, casual image. Here's a current look at being bare beneath leather. Don't worry, I censored the appropriate area. There, that outta cover things. Barely!

In the interests of good health, put me down for a complete physical. After all, repeated self-exams only do so much. Where will this all stop? Oh, that reminds me. My new attire. Gotta post that yet. Probably shouldn't.....

<THUD!> oh, lawdy! *cough gasp wheeze* Fittin', though. One doesn't need to be a masochist to work here, but it helps! MaryAnne, I think that's a reasonable compromise on the uniform. Especially considering the accessories you've mentioned. AHEM! In the interest of being fair, I guess we'd better give some consideration to my own updated attire, eh? For those of you already covering your eyes....good move. Brian

I don't know, Alex, but being a moderator here is a good start. In fact, if she doesn't like the uniform choices I've offered, we could have a sudden vacancy in our staff. Which brings up the question: How far can MaryAnne throw a baton?

Here we go! For those of you tuning in late, we're updating HazzardNet's staff image, to keep up with the latest version of Dukes. MaryAnne, I got another uniform for you. It's stylish, and I think it sets the right tone for how things are really run around here. OOPS! Wrong photo. That was from - nevermind. Here, this is the one I'm talkin' about. How's that? And you can pick out your own baton.

I think our "G" rating has officially went out the window. Awright, simmer down, I'll look for an updated uniform that you'll like better. Brian

That baton is too small ?? What exactly are you used to carrying??

Exactly my point. We need a new, sexy image. To accomplish this, we need to be willing to make a few personal sacrifices in the way of good tatse. I propose that the HazzardNet Staff gets some skimpy costumes - or some colored cellophane wrap, whatever - and we make a bold new statement. Here's a new uniform for MaryAnne. Whatcha think?

Very funny. It's gonna take more than a brew shampoo to increase membership around this place. I'm tellin' ya, if HazzardNet ran more like the new Hazzard County, we'd have mass appeal. Take a look at this picture, and see the supportive administration that Boss Hogg enjoys: Skin-tight, skimpy, satin shorts that fit like cellophane wrap. THERE is the reason people show up to a civic function. I'm sure the rapt, standing attention from the audience ain't because of Boss's speech! See where this is going? It's time to take off the kid gloves. Along with just about eveything else. Brian

MaryAnne, I'm merely suggesting that we need to update HazzardNet's image to keep up with the new Dukes image. Show a little more skin and all that. This site's a great many things, but we ain't gonna attract the new, modern Dukes fans without spillin' some beer in strategic places. Brian

Hey, MaryAnne - What's wrong with "Suck, swallow and choke" as an editorial? Come on, with the direction the new Dukes franchises are going, HazzardNet needs to dirty up its act a little bit. We gotta be hip and relate. We've got a new Daisy Duke spilling beer over her shirt and down into her navel. Maybe HazzardNet needs to reconsider this "G" audience thing. Next post: Daisy's Thong. ( Or did April Scott go commando in those shorts? ) Brian

Responding to both Tim and Cap'n here - I'm still going to watch the new Dukes DVD movie when it comes out. Though this time I'll be having more than three beers first. Maybe four beers with a shot chaser. The very fact that I'll still watch it, like so many other fans, is probably why WB is so damn cocky with the Dukes nameplate. I did enjoy the car stunts on the big screen movie, I'll give it that. So I'm floored that WB would go a step lower and think that the action sequences and stunts could be shrugged off in this sophmore effort. I expect some stock footage will be used here n' there, but I doubt much was written for action. Well, not involving cars anyway. Brian