Brian Coltrane

Ain't it a hoot? I only wish there were more Dukes bloopers to be found. This is the only collection I've ever seen. I had a VCR tape of them years ago, and it's the same stuff. Still fun, I never get tired of hearing Rosco cuss. Bahahaha! Feel welcome to post YouTube Dukes things that you think are cool. I've been trying to comb through the massive offerings to find the stuff worth sharing, but it's time consuming. Plus I get distracted and then three days later I wake up at my keyboard and wonder what the hell happened. Brian

Found this gem on YouTube. The video is poor quality, but the sound is OK. Warning to young folk, there's cussin' in here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjLpsKzdRrI

Warner Bros is lowering the bar with this one. The producer, Bill Gerber, previously brought us the tender story of "BeerFest" along with the 2005 Emmy-rejected Dukes movie. One might think there's nowhere to go but up after having those on a resume'. Apparently WB thinks this is the right direction for Hazzard, and as a result the Dukes are really heading south. It's too soon to tell, but early leaks from the industry suggest that this new movie will not only suck, but will also swallow and choke. Either way it could leave a bad taste in yer mouth. The saving grace would be in the car stunts, but nothing orginal is likely to happen there with the 5 to 8 million dollar budget. Brian

For you Supernatural fans who don't have the Season One DVD, here's the bloopers that are on it. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOVqWLGCiY4

If you haven't browsed through the HazzardNet Photo Gallery in awhile, check it out. There's a whole lot of pictures on there. I thought I'd take a moment to personally thank everyone who's contributed photos to it. Be it one photo or dozen, THANKS! Some people have contributed a whole lot of photos, and I'm going to give them special mention here: MeadowMufn = 192 LostSheep22 = 80 Pendragon1980 = 51 DixieDavenport = 34 wekke = 28 dukeboy320 = 27 Here's a shortcut to the photos, for any of y'all who skip the HNet homepage: http://www.hazzardnet.com/gallery/ Thanks again to all contributors! Brian

Amanda, you're right about the humor. This show has plenty of it. In between all the angst there's always some unexpected quip or a lighter moment. One of my favorite examples of that, is the time Dean stuck a plastic spoon on the end of Sam's nose, while he was napping, then snapped a picture of it with his camera phone. Dean managed all this while he was driving the Impala and Sam was snoozin' in the passenger seat. What's more fun than a road trip with family, eh? Tonight's episode, "The Usual Suspects" , had it's share of chuckles. Without taking time to cover the whole plot, all I can say is I had a feeling how Dean's "confession" was going to go with the cops before he opened his mouth. Hearing Sam and Dean call each other by X-File names cracked me up. Though there was some debate on who should be Scully. I'm waiting for those two to start in with the Dukes of Hazzard references. In the future of this show, there has to be some run-in with it eventually. C'mon Dean, give us a "Yeeehaaa!" just once behind the wheel of that Impala. I know you want to..... In fact, my one disappointment with tonight's ep, is that it was without the Impala. And maybe I'm nuts, but the whole show felt just a little "off" without it. For my money, I'd love to see more action scenes with the car. One of my favorite episodes is "Route 666" , due to the car chase. Dean is fleeing from a phantom truck. It's on a narrow country road at night, the road is wet, and while Dean is driving for his life, Sam's elsewhere on the cell phone with him, trying to tell him where to turn next, taking a wild guess on what might might stop the evil truck. Dean finally holds his ground with the Impala, letting it rumble in idle, while the phantom truck's headlights stare him down. Suddenly the truck roars forward for the head-on kill..... and man, if you don't already watch this show, yer missin' some good stuff. HEY CW! Commercial balance remains at decent intervals. Thank you! Of course I always wish there were fewer commercials, but at least the interruptions are minimal. Next week's ep looks wild n' creepy. Dean finds himself at a literal crossroads to make his own bargain with a demon. Doesn't seem like a good idea, does it? Brian

I'll repost it if you want me too. Otherwise, we'll spare the world from one more piece of bad poetry. Brian

We counted both votes and the results are in. In a landslide victory, Meadowmufn has retained her post as HazzardNet webmaster! Just to be on the safe side, MaryAnne and I conducted a recount. Neither of us changed our vote, so the results are final. Congrats to Meadowmufn! Poly-tiks are simple when there's no opposition. Brian

Well, it's sour cream, so I suppose the robust flavor goes with it. Hence my culinary quandry. Like, how can you tell when blue cheese is moldy? Brian

"brian" damage, eh? Well, I had this cute little song goin', but I don't wanna truly embarass ya. So I edited my OWN post for a change of pace! How 'bout that. Brian Sometimes I wonder...but then I stop myself before it goes too far...

Chet, it doesn't surprise me to hear that you fire a lot of blanks. Bahahaha. On another topic.... How can ya tell when sour cream goes bad? I've got a baked potato ridin' on this one. Brian

That explains everything. Bad photography begins with a bad photographer.

Hmm. If a picture paints a thousand words, can you see what I'm saying?

Yes, it's true. For anyone who missed the announcement on our homepage, the HazzardNet staff (well, most of it ) got together and nominated the employee of the month ( namely, the one who wasn't around to defend herself.) Before anybody does the math, remember that our employee of the month system will probably work on the same calendar principal as our "fan of the month" and our "monthly newsletter." Meaning, this could be a quarterly event, or a leap-year occassion, or happen twice in one month. So ya just never know. Seriously though, MaryAnne does great work on this site and on DukesofHazzardfanfic.com, and she also provides feedback, suggestions, and inspiration. When necessary, she's also lobbed a well-aimed fry pan at me and MeadowMufn. MaryAnne is truly a peacekeeper and public servant of this fair domain, and in all honesty HazzardNet wouldn't be the same without her. MaryAnne, all teasing aside - you are appreciated! Brian

It's that time of year where people indulge in horror flicks and pay good money to wander through haunted houses. And why not? There's something foreboding about the waning light of day, something repelling in the slow decay of leaf and lawn. The air itself seems thinner, emptier, absent of the summer hum of insects and the trill of birdsong. The warmth of day weakens; the chill of night deepens; and the trees stand silent and bare beneath a cold, pale moon. A bitter wind gives sway to the barren branches; they creak and lift towards the mute, shadowed sky...but they will not be spared the winter. With nature's quiet, whispered reminder of our own mortality surrounding us, it's only fitting we go beserk in frenzied attempts to scare ourselves silly. It's the human way, perhaps, of giving our innermost fears the finger, by openly seeking what could rightfully freak us out. On the other side of the crypt, there's a few of us who have had enough creepy stuff happen that there's no need to watch a horror flick or to tour a haunted house. This post is for YOU. If you've seen a ghost, or had some unexplainable event freak you out, or you've lived someplace haunted, take a moment and tell us about it. I've got a few freaky stories. The one experience I never got over is a run-in with a will-o' the wisp. A will-o' the wips is a hovering, glowing and fading collection of pale, spectral light. It's like a small patch of fog with a dim glow, that hovers above the ground, and slowly drifts away as you approach it. Lore has it, that if you follow one of these, it will lead you to your doom - or at least, get you lost as hell. I used to live on 40 acres of woods and swamp, and I enjoyed walking around the trails at twilight, especially in the fall. Sometimes I'd see a deer, or see a fish jump. I liked to watch the sun sink down over the oak trees. I'd wait for that final blast of dying light that turned the low clouds into painted, cotton-candy colors. Well, one night I stayed out there way past the last fade of light. I'd been watching a doe and her fawn and lost all track of time. It wasn't until I couldn't see the deer for the darkness, that I decided to head back home. I knew the trails well, so I wasn't worried, though the sky was moonless and I had to be careful of my step. There were a few steep, rocky slopes that could cause a busted ankle to the unwary. I was completely alone, save for the call of a social-minded barn owl. I zipped up my jacket against the cold; the loss of the sun had caused a sharp drop in the temperature. I had a ways to go yet and now it was freezing out. I quickened my step... ....and then froze in my tracks, because there was this cluster of pale, winking light, in something like a soft, standing fog, just about twenty feet ahead of me. It was beautiful. I was transfixed by it. In truth, I was also a little bit creeped, because it seemed to be alive in it's own way. I wasn't sure if it found me, or I found it, but there we were. It was on the trail, dammit. That's the thing that got me, right then. I couldn't go home without either backtracking a long ways - in the cold and pitch dark - or, I'd have to walk forward and get closer to the mystical light. I was shivering by now and I couldn't tell you if it was just the weather. I took a step forward. The light hovered, bobbed...but didn't seem to retreat. It wanted me to come closer. I felt foolish for thinking it. Well, maybe it was just swamp gas, or a trick of a moonbeam. So I took another step, and another, thinking the thing would vaporize as I closed in on it, like a mirage. Interestingly enough, as I progressed, it was no closer, and no further away. I felt like I was following it without trying to. I tried to ignore it. Yet even while looking down at my boots, I felt the thing hovering in front of me. After several shivering minutes I realized I wasn't on the trail anymore. It was the absence of sound that tipped me off; there was no dry earth scuffing under my boots, no small stones. I was in the edge of the swamp, stepping through soft, mossy turf. It had been dark enough that I didn't visibly notice the change in terrain. I wasn't using the trees as markers as I usually did, as my eyes had been avoiding the creepy, drifting light that danced ahead of me. I looked around. I didn't see the creepy light; I didn't see anything other than the close, gnarled reach of bare, ancient oak trees, long dead, their roots rotted by the swamp. It was here, in this circle of dead oaks, that the only living sounds were those of my own heart and breath. No frogs, no crickets, on this cold night. The owl was silent. I couldn't even hear the sound of a car, so I couldn't tell where the road was...and therefore what direction the house was. How far was I from the trail? Which side had I stepped off ? The swamp covered this section of the woods like patchwork, so being at this spot, meant nothing. I could even be in the swamp proper, and a step to the right or left could sink a boot into deep, soft muck. I considered calling out to somebody. Anybody...but the silence around me was a suffocating thing, discouraging my voice. The only thing to do seemed to be to turn around, in an exact 180-degree pivot, and face back from the way I came, and hope I could backtrack more or less to the trail. I turned around, and there was the will-o' the wisp, which had been waiting behind me. OK, I was ready to scream. Literally. Something beat me to it, though, and the sharp, high-pitched shriek cut through the silence like a steel blade. A chaotic flutter of wings exploded in the brush not far from me, as the owl finished off its prey. I figured that out belatedly, though, because right then I was running like hell, straight through the will-o' the wisp, around the trees, through the brush. The deer spooked and bounded away, crashing through the undergrowth in their flight. I even flushed out a startled, under-sized coyote that bolted off with its tail between its legs. My headlong, thoughtless sprint accomplished a gain of my bearings. I reached a familiar point in the woods, seeing the leaning pine that the trail curved around. I knew the direction home from there. East, where the trail sloped down towards the road. If that friggin' will-o' the wisp was behind me, it better have some serious wattage to keep up, because man I was a track star by this point. I didn't worry about breaking my ankle anymore because now I was more likely to break my neck if I tripped. I scattered out more startled wildlife and burst into the clearing, jumping the ditch and crossing the road in seconds flat. I flew into the house, slammed the door and locked it. Then I turned on every light in the place. To this day, I'll never be certain if the will-o' the wisp was trying to help, or hinder. If the thing was a natural, scientific product of barometric pressure and humidity, or a woodland wraith. Whichever, it had a sense of presence that I'll never forget. Brian

HEY CW !! The commercial balance was better on tonight's Supernatural ep! I'm serious. It's the most reasonable in spacing and duration that I've seen since the new season begain. And now, concerning the usual babble. It was sweet to see that Impala back. Nice pick on the songs, too. "Wheel in the Sky" and "Back in Black." Very appropriate. Anybody else waiting for Dean to explode from angst? I think this Unresolved Grief thing is gonna lead somewhere bad. Also dug the moral paradox with the advesarial hunter. As if the brothers Winchester didn't have enough enemies. Oh, on an side...I got the Supernatural Season One DVD set for my birthday. Just with what I've seen so far, it's well worth the purchase for any SuperNatural fan. Yeeehaaaaa. Brian

Thank ya!! I've had a good birthday. Got some cards n' presents, some nice emails, and of course the neon sign out on the front page of HNet. I'm not sure if that one was courtesy of MaryAnne or MeadowMufn, but I'll assign equal blame. Also, had a huge ice-cream cake from Coldstone Creamery. Mint chocolate chip, know what I'm talkin' about? YUM!! Damn, it's almost worth gettin' older for. I'll do a little celebratin' this weekend, too. Just a little. Truly, I'm spoiled rotten by having the greatest bunch of friends n' kin anybody could hope for. Thanks again, ya'll! Brian

Just a quick comment on last week's episode. It was fun seeing the brothers Winchester return to Wisconsin. Guess there's some continuity right there, as this was their 3rd visit to the Weirdness State. I'm serious, WI is weird, and it would make a perfect home base of sorts. (Hell, the X-files pemiere episode took place in Wisconsin.) Ghost stories come out of WI by the score; numerous books have been written on paranormal subjects there. Everything in WI is haunted. It's an accepted fact of life. If you ask people in WI if they believe in ghosts, not only will they say, "yes," but they'll tell you about the ones that they personally know. Anyhow - the tavern that the Winchesters visited wasn't clearly defined as being in WI. But while there, they described a certain WI town as "not being far from here." I'm just curious about that tavern location, though, as it would explain the guy with the mullet haircut who was sleeping on the pool table. All in all, it was another tension-filled episode, being the creepier for the Evil Clown gig. Cheesy as that sounds, they did a great job with it. My only disappointment in the show, was in the insane number of commericials. And now, excuse me while I speak directly to the Spirts Which Haunt this forum.... HEY! THE CW STILL SUCKS!! But I have to give ya this much, the first 1/2 of the show wasn't interrupted as bad. So we got to see things unfold and get settled with the mood. In the last 20 minutes or so, however - particularily in the last 1/4 hour - the commercials buried the show. There was no progam. And what the hell is the point of so many commercials for other CW shows, while interrupting the current program to do it? That's redundant. What makes you think I'm going to watch another CW show after choking on all the commercials in my favorite program? I'd rather eat fire ants. You know the message I'm REALLY getting from your commercials, is that there's too many of them! CW, do more internet advertising where people can click to see a brief sample of a show in your new lineup. You could also track the interest better. And online, instead of a commercial, it becomes free entertainment. Take a page out of the iTunes book and let people browse your programs, see clips, and get details. You'll save valuable airtime. Instead of trying to promote umpteen shows during a show, you only need to promote your website. I know you guys are listening, so take this as constructive feedback. Thank ya. Brian

In addition to giving credit for some great writing on this show - we have to give credit to the actors, too. I remarked early on that Sam and Dean were not unlike an urban, edgy, Bo and Luke, in some respects. (though in a far more serious environment.) In a nutshell, there's good chemistry in Supernatural and the characters are believable as family members. My main concern for this show - is that it could write itself into a corner by spending so much of its good stuff early. At the end of Season One, we saw the Impala get T-boned by a semi truck, and at the opener of Season Two, we saw Dean nearly die, and not for the first time in the series. ( though by far this was the most dramatic and closest near-miss yet.) There's only so many ways you can bash up the car and have it plausibly fixed. Only so many times you can almost kill a character. Supernatural entertains with shock and surprise, but all the big-ticket eeks are getting used up fast. ( I'm sure Sam will have his turn flirting with oblivion for the Season Two cliffhanger.) Another challenge is maintaining the continuity. Supernatural has done an effective job of keeping things fresh while having a progressive order to the episodes. Sooner or later though, either the Objective Is Met , or too many complications occur and storylines fragment on the least tangent. (I think Smallville is guilty of the latter, IMO.) Continuity is a double-edged sword, which may explain why something as light as Dukes of Hazzard was wise to avoid it. Awright, I'm done analyzing this for awhile. Meadowmufn's gonna think I'm bucking for a moderator job over at the Supernatural site. Brian

On a total aside, I don't think much of The WB becoming "The New CW." I realize this is a result of a WB and CBS station fornication, but dammit! I've never seen so many commercials during a 1 hr program in my life. And when a show as tense and edgy as Supernatural is interrupted every seven minutes, with five minutes of commercials ( half of them being for other CW shows) ...it's as aggravating as all get-out. Note to any lurking WB/CBS folks, I know you're out there... The CW SUCKS!!! Clean up the commecial interruptions. Man, I used to think the old PAX-TV stations were bad. Why don't you just make a Commercial Channel? I'm serious, all commercials, all the time, why dink around? You could have the "Best of Detergent" commercial hour, followed by "Franchise Restaurant Commercial Awards, 2006." And not to forget, "Retro Commercial Classics." Everything from the smarmy Little Ceasar's Pizza and Wendy's commercials of the 80's ( Where's the beef? ) to the old classic black-and-whites. Of course, that's just perversely clever enough to be successful, which means ya won't do it. THHBPTH!!! Brian

I saw the season premiere last week. Yeah, it was heavy, tense and about as melodramatic as it gets. I mean, not every father would sacrifice himself to a demon lord to save his son's life. The episode gave a nod to it's borrowing from the movie "Ghost" , when Dean, in spirit-form, bashes a glass to smithereens and then goes, "I totally Swayze'd that sucker!" And was it just me, or was that Reaper chick and her calm pleadings for Dean to cross over, like he was supposed to, the most blood-curdling, spookiest thing in the whole ep? AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! This was great writing. So much for the hooded reaper with the scythe; here we see a manifestation of Death that is alluring, understanding...and acting in the best interest of the dying. She tells Dean that he must cross over, though she can't tell him what awaits on the other side. When Dean remains stubborn, she warns him that if he chooses to remain behind, he'll die all the same, and his spirit will go mad, trapped on an earth he can no longer interact with. He risks becoming an angry, twisted spirit...becoming that which he has hunted. The coldness of Death is also put very bluntly. Dean protests that his brother will die without him. The Reaper doesn't change her expression, and simply answers, "Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. " While she is understanding, there is a limit to the compassion, and Dean's personal thoughts on dying won't change What Is To Be. Eventually we see Dean's fear getting the best of him. He's starting to succumb, he's looking afraid and helpless, and he turns to the Reaper as if to finally submit to his fate.... And then ....well, really, you should watch this show! On other topics, I'm gratified that Sam insisted on "fixing the Impala." Yay! On a Supernatural message board, I saw the car referenced as "another main character of the show." Heh heh. Hey Val, you really like Dean there, don't ya ? Admit it, you love him for his car.... Can't wait to see more creepy @#$& on this week's episode! Brian

Of course school is a dictatorship. Wait until you have a job. Granted, you get a paycheck, but you'll realize the nice thing about school is that the days were shorter and you got the whole summer off. The school day is reasonably short. Behave enough to get through it. You gotta do what you HAVE to do, first, in order to get what you WANT, later. Disclaimer: I'm not a school counselor. Just another kid who hated school and then paid for it in spades later in life. Still paying for it.... Brian

I'll tell ya more of what ya don't wanna hear. School sucks, but once you graduate and get a job, work sucks. Teachers suck, but bosses suck even worse. A boss will control your money and your time , and control a big chunk of your life. Like when you can have a day off from work, or when you can go on vacation. When you can leave early...when you have to stay late. You'll hear things from customers, clients, co-workers and managers that will make you want to bang your head against a brick wall. I don't care if you're working at a gas station for six bucks an hour, or you're working as a legal secretary for fifty grand a year. This too, shall suck. There is a degree of suck in your life that will occur no matter what you do. The best way to control that which sucks, and to have more that does not, indeed, suck, is to do the best you can to succeed in school, learn about finance, and business, and take control of your life. Sometimes than means getting through the little things that suck, so that you don't have to suffer bigger, more sucky situations later in life. If all else fails, remember this: If something sucks...blow back! Brian

Heh heh. Actually I never gave any teacher a hard time directly. I was one of those quiet, schemin' types that observed all and saved my class disruptions for the most opportune moment. I learned early on that timing was everything; pick the right moment, and not only would the prank be uproarious, I'd probably get away with it. Sometimes the joke would backfire because it was so subtle, people wouldn't realize it was a joke and then it would catch on. For example, I have the dubious honor of having invented Spam-on-a-Stick at my high school . Another food to avoid, right there. Brian

Here's a food to despise: Squid. My local grocery has this fresh seafood section, and sometimes they have lil' purple n' white squids in a meat packet with clear cellophane wrap around it. I took a good, hard look at this stuff last weekend. Who would eat something with tentacles? With the little suction cups all over 'em. BLAUGH!! ACK!! GAH!! I don't care of you boil it or fry it, it's still gonna be disgusting. But on a positive, I thought of the evil fun to be had with raw squid: Drape one over the fridge shelf and surprise a family member. Sit one on your desk at school, and carry it around from class to class. Once bored with it, fling it behind you without warning and enjoy the mayhem. It goes without saying that sticking a small, cold, deli-fresh squid down the back of somebody's shirt could be amusing. (Never do this to someone bigger, stronger, or faster than you. ) Squid is nature's gift to locker-room pranks. Freshen up a urinal, or decorate a toilet tank with effervescent squid. Add a touch of nautical whimsy to the showers with squid soap-holders and drain stoppers. Advanced pranksters: Put squid in to a can of Pringles. Serve with dip. This brings back fond memories of my 4 years of high school detention. If only there had been squid! Brian