Brian Coltrane

GAAAHH!! I don't need no ear piercin'! And quit breathin' in it, thank ya very much! *reaches over and puts entire hand over Alex's face, shoving him away, which causes the teeth to scrape over ear a bit painfully* @#$%&!!! Awright, Snoopy, how ya like this one? *grabs one of Alex's arms, pushes up the sleeve, and helps self to a hearty bite of one forearm, grabbing it with teeth and giving it a shake* GRR-RRR-RRRGH!

OW! *yelps at the bite, then hooks a boot behind Alex's leg and sweeps it out from under him, causing both combatants to fall back and hit the ground. With the fall causing the release of the bite, issues a return chomp to Alex, this time getting ahold of an ear* GRRRRRRR!!

Against this! *lunges forward, grabs Alex in a headlock, and soundly bites him across the bridge of the nose* Grrrrrr!

Well, I reckon that about covers the bets, though anybody is free to get in on them at any time. Meanwhile, Alex the Underwear Dog and I have a matter of honor to settle. Defend yerself, Lassie.

Yer poodle bait.

Loser gets gelded? Are you insane? I'm famous for taking outrageous chances, but I gotta draw the line somewhere. Let's get this mauling started. Last chance for bets, people. Who's got their money on me?

Let's let the public decide who's got the upper paw. I'm likely to win, o' course, but hey, somebody else may have another opinion. I'd say the loser would get....stitches, to say the least. If you wanna compound that with a friendly side wager, such as, loser gets a collar, leash and a dish of Mighty Dog for a week, fine.

Then it's on, boy! *SNARL* GRRRRRRRRRR --- oh, wait a minute. We now open the betting windows for all you gamblin' sorts out there.

Uh-huh. And my bark ain't as bad as my bite. Gotcher tail between your legs already?

Nah, nothin' that graceful or refined. I figured, in keepin' with the topic of dogs and dog collars...more r' less....that we'd simply brawl and see who can bite the hardest.

Aw, just on general principal. You didn't calm down much after being let loose. So I'm gonna throw down the dog biscuit and dee-clare a fight.

Alex, you've offended my cousin's honor. Reckon we'll need to have a good ol' fashioned dogfight.

Alex, you're still sleepin' in the doghouse, so you might wanna take a step back there before you're in trouble again. How to be subtle to MaryAnne? Well, git off her leg, for one thing! Quit jumping on her lap! Quit slobberin' all over the floor....

Bloated ego?! Ohhhh, now yer gonna get it. Just for that, I'm writin' a Dukes of Hazzard A-Team Magnum P.I. Knight Rider Supernatural crossover. AND I'll still make MaryAnne wear a dog collar in it. Thbtphth!!

Some interestin' ideas there, all around. Ya know, I've had a few thoughts along the same lines, and it's possible we'll see one or two stories like these. I can just imagine MaryAnne flipping out and "going bad." Ya know, if I ever found her hanging around outside of the Boar's Nest, wearing black leather and smoking a cigarette, I'd have a coronary. That would be the clincher; if she was doing things totally out of character, like slugging back booze on a regular basis and lighting up a smoke. And acting aloof and skulking around at night, and when you ask her where she's been, she just answers with a shrug. I'd have to think on what would cause her to flip, though. Also need to figure a way to snap her out of it. Wave a donut under her nose? Hmm. In the Dukes eps, when Bo or Luke were flipped out, they'd generally fight and one would knock sense into the other. I don't have the heart to take that route. Though I could always dunk MaryAnne's head in a bucket of icewater or something. Heck, that part would be fun on it's own. I just gotta make sure she's unarmed first....

Alex, you come on a little strong, bud. You're as subtle as an amorous schnauzer with a hormone imbalance.

Yes! You n' me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Dis-cov-ery channel....

Given all this, I'm thinkin' of a new slogan for our website. HazzardNet: Doing it doggie-style since 1999. Arrrrrrrrrwwwwwwooooooooo!

Epic love scuffle.....? Puppy love, maybe.

Hey, I had nothin' to do with it. She was a spitfire from the word go. Granted, she swears more often these days, and her wardrobe has some skimpy numbers, and she could knock a tooth loose with her right cross, and tattoo your face with a backhand slap. No wonder Alex is infatuated with her. None of it's my fault, tho'.

What?! Wait a minute now, if you've known her for so long, then maybe you're the bad influence. How about you throw yerself in the clink. You've got the authority, so it's all the more e-fficient if you handle that yourself. Besides, I'm busy working on my dog-collar challenge story.

Verrrry funny. This place went to the dogs long before that. I can't name an exact date, but I'm fairly sure it was when MaryAnne became an admin. I was just a lowly moderator and had no real influence, ya know. I mean, just look at the number of times MaryAnne tripped over a cord and brought the servers to a smoking standstill. And then she uses questionable words like "teat" in her posts, and took a notion to wear inappropriate "uniforms" that were low-cut and tight. Every time there's trouble around here she's smack-dab in the middle of it. Just like the Dog Collar Challenge, things were fine until she got Alex all riled up.

Well, the story she's advertising at least involved dogs, so I can kinda see the connection there. We're just throwing darts at each other here anyhow. Which reminds me, there's some smarmy remarks that need posting. I believe I was insulted a few posts ago....

It's kinda early to let the black cat out of the bag, because we're not done with it, but.... Mufn and I have been sketching out a Supernatural website, and we hope to have it ready by the time the 3rd season starts. By posting this pre-announcement we'll obligate ourselves to getting it done. As in the tradition of HazzardNet, the new SuprNatural site will bring you a photo gallery, along with news, forums, editorials and fan feedback. All delivered with an edge that says yer not in Kansas anymore....

It's easy enuff to find shirts like those. Blue plaid shirts are common, though the yellow shirt Bo favored is a harder color to find. Most guys don't go strutting around in yellow for some reason. Anyhow, they're basically western shirt styles. Levi has a couple right now that are pretty close. I found these at levistore.com.