Brian Coltrane

...and still in orbit, to this day. Remind me to add "Space Monkey" to your business cards.

I don't think I could have expressed our Mission Statement more poetically. Brings a tear to mah eye.....

Rules? I think of them as....mild suggestions. C'mon, you're talking to the same moderator/admin who's famed for altering posts on a whim, and causing mysterious disappearances from the chatroom. Though that time I banned Alex for about three weeks was purely an accident.

Peace? I dunno that we've evah had peace, but we're definately disturbed.

There's already nothing but anarchy. My work heah is done!

I probably shouldn't say this, but I just can't stop myself. Besides, everyone enjoys seeing Alex in a vapor-lock. Hey, Alex. Here's something new to ponder. MaryAnne wearing nothing but her gunbelt and a big smile. Dog collar optional......

I know how to handle B.A. Barracus. Just run like hell and hope all those gold necklaces slow him down.

Alex is getting a string bikini? Guess we shoulda stopped at the dog collars. This is only getting worse.

[ 3. MaryAnne takes the $ and buys herself a string bikini. And diamond studded dog collar. Polls are now open.... ] *listens to the commentary while considering Alex's offer of peace...but at cousins outrageous suggestion, swallows wrong and suffers a coughing fit* ---GAH! *recovers enough to sputter a remark* MaryAnne, if you go struttin' around in that kind of get-up, defendin' your honor is gonna become a full-time job. Not to mention, we'll need a garden hose to cool Alex off.

*grins back at MaryAnne and watches her saunter away, admiring her tactics. Looks over to Alex* Well, Alex...we'd better cease and dee-sist. MaryAnne's made a rather compellin' arguement against our brawl. *pauses, then adds* Besides, next time she'll just shoot us in the posterior.

*stares at scantily-clad cousin for another moment, still surprised and distracted. Finally, reaches up and slaps own face, moving gaze from the cleavage-baring bathing suit* Ow! Ahem. Yeah....well, MaryAnne, if you don't want me to hurt this moon-eyed fool, we can call it even. *turns to Alex* Looks like you were saved by the long legs o' the law.

*prepares to attack Alex again, ready to clean his clock, but then cousin's casual, bathing suit stroll causes a full stop and a double-take* Holy @#%*.....

*yelps with the ear twist, letting go and springing up. Still grinning, wipes mouth with back of hand* Eeeeyuck. Whatevah after-shave yer usin', it tastes terrible." *paces around Alex, ready to attack again, looking determined to finish him....er, it....*

*grins wickedly, then lunges at Alex and plows him over, knocking him backwards, taking him by surprise during his distracted state. With a snarl, pins Alex and puts teeth over his throat, growling a clear threat* GRRRRRRRR!!

Yeah, Alex....MaryAnne in that string bikini, wearing a low-slung gunbelt, dangling those handcuffs, and wearing a big, warm smile. And havin' been sunning herself in that string bikini, she's got a sheen of suntan lotion covering every inch of her body. Her skin is soft, supple...and her nearly-nude, athletic body shows the flex of lean muscle as she walks. Her sleek, tan legs glisten in the sunlight...and she walks towards you in those high-heeled sandals she's wearing...her lips whisper your name...

Yes, Alex. Imagine MaryAnne in a string bikini. And wearing a dog collar. And wearing her gunbelt low, hanging off those slender, athletic hips, handcuffs dangling along one bare, shapely thigh. She smiles at you...

If one of 'em was MaryAnne, that'd definately distract Alex. *thin smile curves up corners of mouth* Great idea, ain't it?

Yeah, we'll see. Meantime, I have a fight to finish with you, Alex.

Nah, I'll take care of him in due time. Beatin' up Chet is one of those routine, regular things, like getting an oil change for the car. Ya just get in the habit of taking care of it every so often.

Ya know, we could be using this precious free time to work on a story for the dog collar challenge. I keep forgetting about it, with all the melodrama in between.

Of course I heard what Tinkerbell said, but I'm not gonna grace it with a reply. He's just tryin' to cut in on the dance.

It's an improvement on ya. And don't get too relaxed, this is just an intermission. Until I get some ointment. And band-aids. And a tetnus shot.

*touching own neck, wincing* Great, Doc's gonna wonder where I got these bites from. Wait till I tell her it's all from you.

*once freed, stands up, turns head and spits* Ptooey! Man, if I'd known you hadn't had a bath first......

EEEYAAAAGH!! *ceases own assault and puts full attention on dislodging Alex from own hide* Awright, time out! *whistles loudly, making a "T" sign with hands*