Brian Coltrane

Awright, fun is fun, but Alex and "Sheriff" , you two both need to cool it. Alex, lay off with going for a jab every single time your advesary makes a post. Obviously it's not being taken well, and there's no sense kicking a flat tire. "Sheriff", this is all in good fun but this ain't the first time you've turned nasty under some teasing. If you want to play - then play. But don't be a twinkie if somebody throws you a zinger. We encourage mayhem, chaos, and shenangians, but I draw the line at real hostility. I'm seeing that from each of you and it stops here. Dig?

Not bad! I was kinda hoping for one with the little spikes on it, but this is classy enuff for a night on the town. I'll take it. Though I hope you like that harness, because it's about impossible to remove. I've seen skydiving harnesses with easier buckles. Alex, bring the garden shears, but be careful....

No, she doesn't want me to hurt myself, because she'd rather do it. Just kiddin'! Alex...do you have a scissors?

I think we'd better stick to dog collars. Especially since these buckles seem to get caught easy -- ow!

Full body wax? OW ow ow ow ow! I suppose I could just press duct tape over my skin and rip it off, too, but....OW!!!

GAAAAAAH! <THUD> Well...I'll try it on, but the southern half of that outfit needs to have more room. Looks a little small for me. I don't have to run away very far to join the circus! Not with this get-up. And Doc, I've seen some different magazines in medical offices before, but this takes the cake. No wonder your patients show up early for their appointments. *speaks behind closed door* Hey...there's no collar. Granted, it's a harness, but I feel naked without the collar. And do I have to shave everywhere?! Looks like the model here shaved his arms, his chest, and...this is gonna call for a liberal amount of shaving cream. YOW!

No, because...I'm about to run away and join the circus. I'm willing to be the dog in this little dog and pony show! Time to show off all my tricks to the Ringmistress. I knew my talent would be in demand someday! And isn't she wearing a lovely collar?

Alex. Quit thinking about lady police officers in an unprofessional light.

I think I'll need regular appointments to properly treat my condition. I've these symptoms that keep coming back...shortness of breath, elevated heart rate, and -- well, you'd have to see it for yourself, but let's just say it's a reoccuring symptom. WAHOOO!

The third season of Supernatural will start airing early October. Argh! Jeeze, any later, and they could just skip to the Christmas special. The only bright spot in the wait, is it gives us more time to work on our website. But there's all kinds of news for the show that I'll roll out here in the meantime, as we go. In addition to the comic book, "Beginnings", there is a SuperNatural magazine coming out in September. Also, two new female "co-stars" have been announced - much to the chagrin of fangirls everywhere - but whether they will be intermittent characters or every-week hangers-on, remains to be seen.

Available now at Walmart, and any other store that they haven't put out of business yet. A mere $4.99!

Oh, heck yeah. In fact...just looking at this, I get woozy. You'd better take my pulse.... and while you're at it, how about giving me a sponge bath?

I thought you'd like that one, Alex. Though I shouldn't enable your twisted fantasies. Still, this is an intersting catalog....

Ohhh, Alex! While you're pondering various police techiques...did I ever show you the latest P.D. uniform catalog MaryAnne had laying around? Whatcha think of this one, eh? I know MaryAnne will say the nightstick isn't big enough, but hey. To each their own on the accessories.

Alex, HUSH! Let MaryAnne enjoy those fresh, tasty donuts. While I carefully attempt to take advantage of her momentary distraction.

Yes! Fresh...golden...sweet and tasty donut! Help yourself. Remember, there's no calories in the middle of a donut, so it's guilt-free.

Use force! Use force!! C'mon, what's all that cop hardware good for, if ya don't get to use it?

Oh, I could get away if I wanted to. I just happen to have it pretty good where I am. Still, it doesn't hurt to keep a few Depu-distractions around. Since I don't have the special Honeydip donuts ( MaryAnne, do you realize how far I'd have to drive for those?) here's somethin' almost as good. Look! Yummy.

Alex, since when do you eat from a plate? I figured the dog dish was all you needed.

Anyhow! To return somewhat to the subject of writing....some folks have asked me where we get ideas from. MaryAnne and I have worked on various stories together, and they're all free-form. No advance outline, no big conferencing on who should do what. Most of our stories started after a challenge was thrown down by one of us, and the other had to react. And react fast, because there were unfriendly conflicts back then. There was always something on the line. Nowadays, we often goad each other with more subtle means. Observe, as I bait MaryAnne with this harmless, but irresistable, ploy:

Okay, we've gone way off topic in a buncha different directions. Just to make it LOOK like we're paying any attention to the topic - we've got 2 stories submitted thus far for the dog collar challenge, but nothing else yet. Is anybody writing, or are we just beating each other up here in the Forums for the sake of idle whimsy? Which reminds me. Alex, I found a new cereal bowl for ya.

Yeah, I think it was before I joined up.

I hope so Alex, because your own collection of Hello Kitty stuff gives me cause for concern....

Outhouse? I think somebody blew that up a long time ago. This place is crazy. Ya know, I remember a day where people could have a reasonable discussion on the Forums without everything being up for grabs.

I think Alex voted for cellophane.