Brian Coltrane

Actually, it coulda been worse. But I'm not taking anythang personally, so I'm not flippin' out and banning you or uploading a picture of Hello Kitty as your avatar.

You have to look for them. There's a subtle clue on each one that I've tampered with.

It was great, thank ya. Seeing how this fight is a little dull, I decided to whip our opponent into a frenzy by altering a few more posts at random. Yeah, it's a clear abuse of my authority here, but what the hell.

I'm back, did I miss anythang?

Fried onions, fat oysters, french omlettes...kitchen...dammit I'm hungry! While Barney Fife there is contemplating a comeback sometime this year, I'm gonna fix some dinner.

Nah, F.O. is police code for Fried Onions.

I'm disappointed. You blew your gasket a lot sooner than I expected. Why start a sparring match if you can't take a few jabs?

Thank ya. *takes a bow* Years of practice. And I'd like to thank all the people who've made the moment possible....my cousins, my friends, my fellow delinquents....

I'll buy that you need the shower, anyhow. Enjoy your walk with the dog.

Yep, that's sputterin' and ineffective mad.

Hoppin' mad? Stark ravin' mad? Fightin' mad? Sputterin' but ineffective mad?

Relax, Alex....it's more like police stupidity.

Thath's unthanitary. *gets tongue back* Lord knows where your hand as been. BLAUGH! *turns head and spits*

Now, I wouldn't start anything like that. For one, I'm wearing a belt already. For another, any such disputes between me and any member of our fair community have to be submitted to arbitration, where an objective panel of all my closest friends, will decide if the offense has merit and if corrective action is warranted.

In the face of such animosity, I can only offer a diplomatic and carefully considered reply, to wit: Nyah-Nyah! Thhhbpthpth!!

What a reckless accusation. Of course not.

Well, I'm writing about you in my story, so that kind of counts. Oh, but it's all very complimentary and flattering of course.

Nope, that one was all Mufn. I've never even seen the movie. We all take turns coming up with smarmy crap for the home page. I should probably dig up some dirt about another DOH site and run a smear campaign, but I've been feelin' lazy. Plus I'm working on this dog collar story.

Oh yeah? Fortunately I'm mature enough to take such a goad without immediately altering recent posts at random. Just to prove I'm still a stinker. Yep, it's a darn good thing I won't use my Admin powers for evil, or I'd go on a spree of deviant behavior.

Oh, lawdy. I'm not verifying nothin'.

It's the beady little eyes.

I can't put it to words. I still get nightmares. Therapy has helped somewhat.... don't make me remember! Don't....AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

More like a space mandrill baboon. Why, the resembalance is uncanny!

...and still in orbit, to this day. Remind me to add "Space Monkey" to your business cards.

I don't think I could have expressed our Mission Statement more poetically. Brings a tear to mah eye.....