redneck woman

Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg sits up straight when he hears the knock on the door. He was just finishing up counting out his shine money and taking out Rosco's half. It looks like Rosco made twelve dollars this time, Boss's cuts always go straight down the middle and hook a sharp turn. He quickly shoves the cash into his money box and puts it back into the safe, spinning the dial so it would be locked securely. Another knock at the door puts a scowl on his face. "I'm comin', I'm comin'! Hold yer horses will ya!" He continues to grumble as he walks to the door. When he pulls it open he sees a mildly attractive woman in her early forties. "May I help you?" "Yes, I was told that your the police commisioner of this county, is that correct?" Mira asked politely, giving Boss one of her best smiles. "Well I wear many hats around here honey. What exactly is it yer lookin' for?" Boss puffs his chest out with pride as he sits down in his barber chair, offering the lady a seat in his office chair as an after thought. "What I need is someone to help me get my son back where he belongs, with me. The people pretending to be his parents are refusing to even entertain the thought that he is mine. I know he's mine and I want him back. The fake father won't even let us do a blood test that would prove it beyond a doubt. That tells me that he's hiding something and that something is the fact that my son isn't his child. I'll make this worth your while Mr. Hogg." Boss's eyes widen at the lady's last sentence, anything even hinting at making him a buck was worth his attention. "Well, Miss, uh, Miss..." "Finnigan. Mira Finnigan." "Miss Finnigan, there are a few details we'd have to discuss first, like how much is worth my while?" "I'll give a donation of $5000 to your police department for your help, will that suffice?" "Oh perfectly well, helping people is part of being in public office ya know. Now, the second detail is who are we talkin' 'bout?" Boss tries to keep his excitement over 5000 samolians in his pocket to himself, but his cat ate the canary grin gives him away. "Jeffery Duke." "JEFF DUKE!!!! I'm sorry Miss, uh, Miss honey, but them Dukes are awful smart an' sneaky. It's gonna take a lot of-" "I'll raise my donation to $10,000 Mr. Hogg." "Done! My entire police force is at your disposal." "That's just fine." Mira smiles ruthlessly before continuing. "Now, let's go over the details and fine points of my plan shall we?" ~~~~~~~~ Bo watches as a gray sedan screeches around the corner of the county courthouse heading in his direction at top speed. His body tenses, but he lays unmoving waiting to see what the car was going to do. In that moment he hears a 'Dad' called from across the street. Bailey is jogging toward him and unfortunately he's not paying any attention to the sedan. As Bailey starts across the street the gray car comes speeding toward him. Bo's eyes widen in terror as he jumps to his feet. "Bailey, look out! Git outta the way!" (cue anyone... you decide what's gonna happen!)

"Hey Cooter buddy! Where are ya?" Bo yells as the swings his body out of the General Lee. He had just skidded to a stop outside the garage after dropping Bailey off at the General Store to pick up some supplies. "Crazy C? Hello?" Bo sticks his head around the bay doors just in time to hear Cooter's muffled greeting from under a car in the back of the garage. Bo grins and heads toward him, checking out the mustang Cooter is working on. Cooter rolls his creeper from under the car to give Bo an answering grin. "Hey Bo, what's up amigo?" "Aw not much, ya know? Same ol', same ol'. Actually, I was wonderin' if you've heard anythin' goin' 'round? Rosco an' Boss are up ta somethin' again." "Well shoot fire an' save box matches Bo, ain't they always up ta somethin'?" "Yeah, ya ain't kiddin'. It seems it's got somethin' ta do with us Dukes again though." "Well I'll keep my ears open an' my eyes peeled for ya." "Thanks Cooter, we'd be mighty obliged for that." Bo grins again. "Catch ya later buddy." He says as he heads for the door, catching a muffled "Adios." from Cooter as he slides back under the mustang. When Bo steps through the bay doors he notices his son isn't here yet with the supplies. He decides to just stay put and wait for Bailey there. He sits on the General's hood and stretches out to soak up some sun and watch the happenings around the town. Fifteen minutes later, Bailey still isn't there and Bo is beginning to drowse in the warm rays. Bo's eyes suddenly pop open when he hears screeching tires coming around the corner. ~~~~~~~~~~ Mira can feel the bar patrons staring at her as she bows her head in defeat. Luke wouldn't even listen to reason. I know that boy is my son, it's so obvious everyone should be able to see it. There must be some way to get the Duke's to agree to it. Sitting quietly she racks her brain for some loophole, the smallest grain of an idea to get what she wants. A quietly spoken "Can I get ya anythin' ma'am?" broke her reverie. She glances up and she sees the pretty waitress in the short shorts. Staring at this girl helped somethin' click together in her brain. She smiles at the waitress while replying. "You sure can. I'll take another ginger ale and I was wondering if you could help me with a little information?" She pauses for Daisy's agreement and continues when she sees the nod. "Can you tell me where to find the police commisioner?" "Why sure thing, that'd be Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg an' he's in his office right behind that door there." Daisy answers as she points toward Boss's office. "I'll be right back with your drink." Mira nods as she runs schemes through her mind trying to find the best way to get the police commissioner in on her plans. When Daisy sets the drink in front of her, Mira takes a few sips before standing. She throws a few bills on the table and marching over to the door the sheriff had entered before. Taking a deep breath, she knocks loudly a couple of times before waiting patiently for the door to open. (cue anyone)

Luke sighs loudly as Bo finally slides through the General's window. He reaches over and turns the ignition then leans back into the corner of his seat. His brow wrinkles in thought while he replays the whole meeting once again from beginning to end in his mind. After a moment he realizes that they aren't moving yet. Glancing around his sees both Bo and Bailey giving him quizzical looks. "What?" "Well, uh, I was jus' wonderin' where we're headed now?" Bo asks quietly, he can sense his cousin's inner turmoil and tightly reined anger from the meeting. He knows Luke would never take it out on him on purpose, but its better to be safe rather than sorry. "Home." "Home? Aren't we gonna try ta figure out what Rosco is up to?" "No Bo, not now. I need ta go home and talk this over with Anna an' hopefully Jeff, if he's home. 'Sides, Rosco was in back with Boss most of the time we were there. Let me work this kink outta the plow line first an' then we'll check up on ol' Rosco an' Boss." "Sure thing cous. We'll get it all worked out, don't worry 'bout it. How 'bout me an' Bailey take a quick run over ta Cooter's after we drop ya off, his lunch hour should be over by then. We'll see if he's heard anything." Luke nods his agreement and Bo slaps him on the shoulder in reassurance before gunning the engine and taking off with spinning tires and spitting gravel. (cue anyone)

Bo jumps off his barstool and moves over to help his son up. He watches the look of bewilderment come over Bailey's face. Bailey shakes his head trying to clear it, not sure what exactly that was all about. "Ya okay son?" Bo questions quietly. Bailey nods in consternation. "Nothin' hurt but my pride." The father and son move over to the table Jeff had left so abruptly. Bo picks up the chair turns it around and straddles it as he eyes the two other occupants. "What's goin' on Luke? What was that all 'bout?" "Jeff jest lost his temper is all. We'll let 'em cool off a bit. I'm sure he'll be sorry Bailey an' apoligize as soon as ya see him." Luke replies not taking his eyes from Mira. He clears his throat and straightens his spine, trying for his best authority figure posture and voice. "Now Mira, I don't care one way or another what you think. Jeffery is not your son, he is mine an' my wife's. He is a Duke, jest like he so clearly pointed out to you a moment ago. I have all the documents needed to prove it, if it comes to that. Here in this place, he's surrounded by family an' friends he's known all his life. He's loved an' respected as part of this community. So please jest leave him alone. Your only causin' him distress. Nothin' good will come of it." Luke finished his small speech by standing up from the table. Bo followed suit and moved to Luke's shoulder, silently giving his support. "Luke, I appreciate your side of things, but I really must insist on blood tests. I-" "No." "No?" Mira repeats sharply. She's not used to being told no for anything. "You heard me Mira, I said no." Luke replies tonelessly. "This conversation is over. Please do us all a favor and drop the whole thing. MY son would appreciate it, an' so would I." Luke turns his back, walking away from the table and Mira Finnigan with Bo on his heels and Bailey bringing up the rear. (cue anyone... is this the last we'll see of Mira Finnigan or does she come back to cause move havoc in the Duke's lives?)

I like them all, it seems I pick up something new every time I watch them. My absolute favorite is Bo, Luke, and Daisy: Just Good Ol' Friends.

Mira nods her head and gestures to the chairs around her table before taking her own seat. She watches as Mr. Duke takes the chair directly across the table. Her son pulled a chair out and moved it back by who he thought was his father, sitting slightly behind him. She smiles at him, trying to let him know that everything would soon be all right, they would soon have each other. Jeffery wouldn't look her in the eye for some reason, his father has probably abused her poor boy. She turns her gaze from the wonderful sight of her son to Luke Duke. He is staring at her intently waiting for something it seems. His stunning blue eyes are narrowed in concentration and seriousness. Did he ask her something? She raises an eyebrow in question before speaking. "I'm sorry Luke, may I call you Luke?" At his nod she continues. "Did you ask me something? I have a feeling that I missed something just now." She smiles tentatively at him, glancing to the side to include her son in the look also. "I'm still wondering why you think Jeff is your son ma'am?" Luke says quietly never taking his eyes off of the lady across the table. "He was born in the Tri-Counties Hospital correct?" Luke nods his agreement to Mira's question. "The same day that I had my baby, your wife was delivering also. We had our sons within moments of each other and right afterwards there was an emergency of some sort, a terrible car crash in Chickasaw County I believe, that brought chaos on that little hospital. In the confusion I think our babies were switched. I think that you and your wife was given my son and I was given yours." Mira pauses to let that bit of information sink in before continuing. "Patrick, the baby I called my own, didn't look anything like me or his father. Whereas Jeffery seems to have some of his father's features. I can tell by looking that he is ours." "Ma'am, everythin' you've said so far makes sense. I remember the accident and the resultin' chaos, but that doesn't mean there was any type of switch. Just look at Jeff an' then look at me, he is my son." "Luke, I appreciate your family taking such good care of my boy, but I have to disagree. He is mine." Mira narrows her eyes, not willing to lose this, the most important fight in her life. She needs this part of herself to be whole again. Luke was watching the play of emotions cross her face and picked up on one in particular, pain. "Ms. Finnigan, may I ask where your son is now? I mean Patrick of course, not my boy Jeff." Mira drops her head at his questions, trying to keep the pain and loss at bay. She raises her head to look at Luke once again with tears pooling in her eyes. "He's gone, taken from me a year ago in a car accident." She whispers. (cue anyone)

Nascar: Carl Edwards (He's a hometown boy!) Dale Jr. Mark Martin and several others

Maybe you could call it Flash? I refer to my car as White Lightenin' cause it's white and I love speed.

Bo skids into a parking spot at the Boars Nest, leaving only inches between him and the car parked on the passenger side. Luke turns to look at the grinning Bo, slightly shaking his head. "Yer losin' yer touch cousin, you pert near hit that car." He pauses to look out his window again. "Ya got 'bout six inches left out there." "Six inches! Why that's half a foot of room ta play with. 'Sides, how many times do I gotta tell ya, pert near only counts in horseshoes an' handgrenades." Bo's eyes twinkle merrily as he slides out of the car. Luke shakes his head in mock resignation, trying to hide his answering smirk but failing. He ignores the snorts of laughter coming from the backseat as he slides out the window and walks down the hood. He jumps to the ground, followed closely by his still chuckling son. Watching his son jump to the ground, Luke becomes serious thinking about the meeting ahead of them. "C'mon, let's get this over with." Luke sighs reaching for the door. They had all discussed Mira Flannigan and her outrageous claims on the drive over. Luke wants to keep this meeting low profile so he asked Bo and Bailey to wait at the bar until the time when they were needed. Entering the building, Luke scans the room taking in familiar faces along with unfamiliar ones. He spots a lone woman seated in a dim corner of the room. Elbowing Bo, he nods toward her for confirmation. "Yep, that's her. We'll be at the bar. Jest holler if ya need us." Bo answers quietly before leading Bailey to the bar and a cold glass of brew. ~~~~~~~~~~ Mira taps her foot impatiently as she glances at her watch once again. It was five minutes after two, the agreed upon meeting time. She picks up her glass of water and takes a slow sip as she studies the other patrons of this rustic watering hole. The brunette making the rounds refilling beer mugs catches her eye as she fills the glass of that greasy mechanic from town. Another man, sitting opposite the mechanic, is grinning like crazy at the girl as he raises a glass of what looks like milk. Mira sits up straight as the door opens and closes only to slouch back into her seat when she sees it's the sheriff. He glances around the room briefly before quickly making his way to a door leading to another room. Knocking once he enters and pulls the door shut behind him. Mira once again raises her wrist to look at her watch wondering if this can be classified as being stood up. When she hears the door open once again her back goes ramrod straight. She watches closely as a brown haired man enters followed closely by the blonde that helped her yesterday. Two more people came in the door that Mira couldn't see from her seat in the corner. When the blonde moves away she can see her son. He glances at the man at his side before they start moving her way. Mira lunges to her feet and holds out her hands toward this boy that was stolen from her, watching as he comes closer and closer. (cue anyone)

I thought this episode was great. I loved each and every reference to the Dukes and wish there had been more. The way Jack Jennings left after putting the thought out there that good ol' boy Jonathon Kent should run for the Senate was awesome. Although I wish he didn't have to leave. Does anyone think this gathering of the great ones will ever happen again?

Sounds good! What happens next?

The next morning... "Lost Sheep Two callin' Lost Sheep One, ya got yer ears on Lost Sheep One? Come back." Luke had just finished putting the coffee on in the kitchen when the CB crackles to life. Luke jumps over to it and grabs up the mic. "This is Lost Sheep One an' I'd appreciate it if'n you'd keep it down a bit Bo. Ever'one is still sleepin' includin' Anna and Wiley Jon. They had a late one last night." "Sorry 'bout that cousin. I was jest wonderin' what was goin' on. Daisy stopped here last night an' insisted we search all the cars and buildin's. She said somethin' 'bout Rosco plantin' shine again. Is that right?" "Yep, seems that way. I jest don't know who exactly he was after, me an' you or Jeff an' Bailey." Luke sighs and scratches the top of his head. He eyes the coffeepot trying to decide if it's hot enough yet. "Prob'ly all of us." Bo's reply comes through. "Ya got that right. Listen, I guess we'd best shake some trees an' try ta find out what's goin' on. Why don't ya git Bailey an' come on over here when yer ready. We'll have Jeff explain what happened last night an' go from there." "10-4, oh an' by the way, we're supposed ta meet a lady this afternoon at two at the Boars Nest. She needs ta see you real bad, but wouldn't tell me why." Luke jerks fully awake with Bo's comment. His bright blue eyes narrowing in thought. "What was this lady's name?" "Mira, uh," Bo pauses searching his memory for the last name. "Finnigan. Yeah, that's it. Mira Finnigan." "Well, this should be interestin'. Awright, I'll see ya when ya git here." "10-4. I'm gone." Luke hangs the mic up then crosses the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. He stands in front of the window in deep thought, not noticing when someone else enters the kitchen. ~~~~~~ Rosco sits at his desk fidgeting and dreading the moment Boss Hogg comes into the office. He has to tell him that his mission had failed. The outer door bangs open announcing the arrival of someone into the police station. "Rosco!" "Yeah Boss? I'm here." Rosco jumps out of his chair and hurry's into the booking room where Boss is waiting. "So how'd it go last night, did ya get ever'thing done right?" Boss asks with a big grin. "Well... not exactly Boss." Rosco hesitantly replies. "What do ya mean not exactly! Rosco you lugnut! You didn't plant that shine did ya? I swear yer brain is on haitus." "But Boss, I was gonna put it in that Jeffery Duke's car, but his car weren't no where to be seen. Then I kinda got caught by Daisy, Jeffery, and Luke." "Ya got caught! Now them dang Duke's'll know somethin's goin' on! Rosco you do-do!" (cue anyone)

Rosco eases his patrol car to a stop behind Luke Duke's barn. He mutters and mumbles to himself for a few minutes before turning to his faithful deputy dog, Flash. "Now Flash," He whispers as he lovingly caresses her head and ears, "don't make any noise darlin'. Daddy's gotta do somethin' for his little fat buddy. You stay here an' sneak a snooze, I'll be right back." He gives her one last pet before getting out of the car, leaning into the back seat to grab a gallon jug of moonshine before shutting the door. Tiptoeing around the side of the barn, he comes to a sudden halt. Scanning the farmyard he can see that Jeffery Duke's old blue car is no where in sight. "Ooh! Ijit! Where can he be at this time of night? Wait a minute, khee, khee, I bet that dang Duke put his car here in the barn. Khee, khee, khee. It'll take more than that to outsmart the likes of Sheriff Roscooooo P. Coltrane. Khee, khee." He whispers to himself. Making his way to the barn door, he does his best not to trip over the usual farm paraphernalia. As he slowly opens the door a loud squeak comes from the hinges. "Ooh! Hush!" He pauses to see if anyone will stir inside the house, but nothing can be heard. He peeks around the door to see a tractor but no car. "Those Duke's gotta be pullin' somethin'. Ever'body should be home an' in bed by now. I know I'd like ta be." He whines before turning around to look at the house again. In that moment headlights spotlight him against the barn, blinding him as the car comes up the driveway. "Ooh! Ijit! That smarts!" He cries holding his hand up in front of his eyes. The driver of the car pulls to a stop and gets out without shutting off the headlights. (cue anyone)

Molly Hargrove (I think that was her name), the ex-Nascar driver in "Birds Gotta Fly". She wanted to sign Daisy to a racing contract. She was so annoying, I think it was her voice. It rubbed me the wrong way. That and her attitude.

I had the same problem, but I only had two little ghouls. My little cousins are going to love me this weekend when I go visiting. 'Course their parents probably won't like me much.

Bo jerks his head around at the mention of his last name. "That's right, I'm Bo Duke. Ya heard of me then?" he asks with the Duke grin. "I guess you could say that." Mira answers slowly. "I was actually looking for Luke Duke's farm, you're related to him aren't you?" "Sure thing ma'am. Me an' Luke are cousins." "That's right, I remember that now. Well, as you can see I have a flat and no spare tire." "Let me just give Cooter a call on the CB an' he'll be out here right quick ta fix ya up." Bo offers. "That would be just fine. Could you also point the way to your cousin's farm? I really do need to see him." "It's jus' down this way a mite more, but you'd be wastin' yer time. He ain't home right now an' I don't know how long it'll be 'fore he gets there. Maybe he could meet ya tomorrow? Say 'bout two or so? That's 'bout the time me an' him go ta grab a beer at the Boars Nest." "I guess that would work although I really hate to wait that long. Oh all right. Tomorrow at two at a place called the Boars Nest. Thank you." Mira sighs in consternation. Another day without her son by her side. But today will be the last day for sure. Mira's eyes narrow in determination as she watches her son's 'uncle' talk to the mechanic on the CB. When he was finished he walk back to her side. "Cooter's on his way now... uh, I don't think I caught yer name?" "Mira, Mira Finnigan." "Well, it's nice ta meet ya Mira. Cooter should be here in a few minutes time. Anything else I can do fer ya?" Mira shakes her head no and gives Bo a brittle smile. "Okay then. Is there any type of message I can give ta Luke fer ya?" Again Mira shakes her head. "Well, I'll be headin' on home then. See ya tomorrow Mira." Bo climbs into his car and turns it around to go home. He glances in the rearview mirror and sees Mira glaring at him through the mirror. "That lady is 'bout a half bubble off plum." Bo says aloud to the empty car before shrugging his shoulders and heading home. Mira continues to glare as the dust thrown up by the tires slowly settles. These people stole my little boy and have made him into a country bumpkin, hillbilly. That's going to change son, I promise you that. You'll love your new life, whether you like it or not. Mira settles into her car to wait for the mechanic and plans tomorrow's meeting. Meanwhile, back at the Boars Nest Boss is still trying to get Rosco to understand the plan. Rosco is leaning against the pool table with a blank look on his face trying to understand what Boss was saying around the pickled pigs feet he was eating. "Rosco! Did ya hear anything I just said?" "Course I did Boss, I jus' didn't understand most of it cause yer mouth was full." Boss's head jerks around and he glares at Rosco. "Awright, one more time. You are gonna sneak over to Luke and Bo Duke's farms an' hide moonshine in the trunks of their kids' cars. Got it so far?" "I think so Boss, uh, if ya don't mind me askin' how come we're doing this again?" Rosco leans closer to Boss Hogg with a quizzical look on his face "Because, I want them boys to run my shine for me. If they won't I'll put them an' their daddy's in jail for the production an' transportation of illegal corn whiskey." Boss lights up a fat cigar and begins puffing. "Oh! I love it, I love it! I'll cuff 'em an' stuff 'em. Khee, khee, khee." Rosco says aloud while thinking to himself, it'll never work. (cue anyone)

Okay so I've found out that one of my favorite singers share's my birthday with me. I heard on the radio that Keith Urban turns 38 today and I am a happy 27. Who wouldn't be happy when their mother calls them first thing to sing Happy Birthday to her sugar pie baby girl (her words not mine). So 27 years ago today, 10/26/78, Tom and John were doing their screen tests, what a great day for DOH fans.

Jesse to Boss: JD, why don't you go fry yerself a snowball? I just caught that one last night. I thought it was pretty funny.

That was pretty funny, right up there with Rosco and Boss doing the Tango together.

Right now my favorite song is Gary Allan's Best I Ever Had. It strikes a chord in me. I know this song has been done by many different artists, but his vocals really bring out the emotion in it. So you sailed away Into a grey sky morning Now I'm here to stay Love can be so boring Nothing's quite the same now I just say your name now Chorus But it's not so bad You're only the best I ever had You don't want me back You're just the best I ever had So you stole my world Now I'm just a phony Remembering the girl Leaves me down and lonely Send it in a letter Make yourself feel better Chorus But it's not so bad You're only the best I ever had You don't need me back You're just the best I ever had And it may take some time to Patch me up inside But I can't take it so I Run away and hide And I may find in time that You were always right You're always right So you sailed away Into a grey sky morning Now I'm here to stay Love can be so boring What was it you wanted Could it be I'm haunted Chorus But it's not so bad You're only the best I ever had I don't want you back You're just the best I ever had The best I ever had The best I ever had

Woo-hoo! I might be able to make it this year!!!

I'm with you!!

"Aarrgghhh!!!" Mira screams at the top of her lungs, banging both hands on the steering wheel. She is totally and completely lost and now has a flat tire with no spare in the trunk. "This day is going from bad to worse very quickly." she mutters. In the distance she hears a car engine, with her head cocked she listens and determines that it seems to be coming her way. Mira takes a deep breath and gets out of her car waiting for whoever was coming down the dirt road at such a fast pace. She starts waving and flapping her arms to flag the car down, wondering if she can even be seen since the car is going so fast. The driver catches a glimpse of the broken down Mustang as he passes, he hits the brakes and does a slide coming around in a 180 turn. He pulls back up to the lady standing by her car and jumps out to assist her. "Howdy ma'am! Can I help ya out?" Offers the blonde haired man, "My names Bo an' I live just down the way a bit." "Duke?" Mira questions softly. (cue anyone... this is all I could think of for the moment!)

If I'm thinking correctly that quote is from "Repo Men". Anyone? Please correct me if I'm wrong

I watched this episode again last night. It's such a great one because it shows Sorrell Booke's acting abilities in a new and refreshing way. It was funny watching Boss trying to be both himself and his brother. It always pops into my head that Rosco should try to arrest Luke for "scuffin' county property" when he runs the General through the wall. Of course, I guess he was too busy trying to get through the trial and tribulation of being put into jail himself. What a great episode though, even though Bo was missed.