JESSI DUKE Posted September 30, 2007 Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 I just found out today that mom passed away.i'm not sure how to feel. We never had the kindrelationship that you see on tv. She quit raising me at16 left me to take of myself. Part of me wants to grivebut part said why. Why waist the tears for her??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrett Duke Posted September 30, 2007 Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 Jessi - I am sorry to hear about your mom passing and the situation that she had put you through. That is a hard position to be in and it would cause for some painful and hard feelings towards her for doing what she had done. It'd also be hard to know how to feel as you have worded. Once again - I am sorry of all that you are now facing. I hope that things will soon get better for you. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS))))Keep it between the ditchesGarrett Duke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JESSI DUKE Posted September 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 Thanks Garrett. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogerDuke Posted October 1, 2007 Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Hi Jessi, I really feel bad for you. It sounds like you have a lot of things to figure out. I don't know if this will work for you but this is what I would do if I were in your shoes. TALK. Go to the best listener you know who really cares about you and just completely let everything out. Be honest with them about everything you're feeling. Sometimes you don't instantly feel like you've made progress when you let it all out but when you're really hurting bad like that, healing is never instant. Go to that person for help as many times as you need to. Talk to other people as well, to get different points of view. Don't feel selfish if you're dominating the conversation. It's alright to be a little selfish in this case. Be good to yourself. Watch two Dukes episodes tonight instead of just one. LOL Finally, I don't mean to preach but there are other options besides human beings to go to when you have problems.... Hang in there buddy, Roger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriDavenport Posted October 1, 2007 Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Hey there Jessi, I am truley sorry for your loss, I can say I've been in yer shoes for the most part, My grandma who we lost almost 5 years ago was like my mother to me. My mom could really help you understand more because my grandma treated her about the same way that yer mother treated you. (sorry to be so upfoward and all, this is the best I can put it.)Your best bet though, is to grieve because if not it'll hurt you worser -speaking here from my mom- she said that if you didnt you'd regret it later.. she said it would hit you all at once and it would hurt you worser.Like RogerDuke said sometimes you don't always need to go to a human being for comfort, go to an animal or heck, this may sound weird, but a picture of her or something. the best animal i've ever comforted to was my horse they do seem to listen and understand.once again real sorry for yer loss and my prayers are with you.Keep it tween the Ditches! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted October 1, 2007 Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Hey thereMan that must be rough and I can see that you obviously have a huge conflict to get over...but that says more to me than anything else about how your feeling. You obviously - if you feel so conflicted over what you should be feeling - loved your mum deep down because she was your mum and she did take care of you for 16 years. I can see where you wouldn't want to grieve for her but at the end of the day, it is only gonna make things harder when people want to talk about her and you've resolved not to let anything get to you. Its a shame you didnt get on together, but now is the time to make amends even if she isnt here anymore. Make peace with yourself and her, not every relationship is like what you see on tv. Me and my mum fight like cat and dog, we're nothing like what you see on tv. TV is fantasy, its what everyone wants their parents to be like but unfortunatly they just cant be. I think you should grieve, because as Lori said and Roger it will only make matters worse. You have a lot of people on here you can talk to - me included - and people around you or animals too...even a stuffed teddy which is something I do when i'm upset. Take some time, grab some hot chocolate and look through albums. I'll bet there were happy times you had with your mum...*huggles*Take care and i'm here if you want to talk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julieduke Posted October 2, 2007 Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Hi Jessi, I really feel bad for you. It sounds like you have a lot of things to figure out. I don't know if this will work for you but this is what I would do if I were in your shoes. TALK. Go to the best listener you know who really cares about you and just completely let everything out. Be honest with them about everything you're feeling. Sometimes you don't instantly feel like you've made progress when you let it all out but when you're really hurting bad like that, healing is never instant. Go to that person for help as many times as you need to. Talk to other people as well, to get different points of view. Don't feel selfish if you're dominating the conversation. It's alright to be a little selfish in this case. Be good to yourself. Watch two Dukes episodes tonight instead of just one. LOL Finally, I don't mean to preach but there are other options besides human beings to go to when you have problems.... Hang in there buddy, RogerI have an idea do you have the John Schneider cd with "If Had I Only Known" well if don't then find the song by Reba McEntire as well. You might want to look at one of her cd's before 1993 thow and listen to either version to might just help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morgan Posted October 2, 2007 Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 I'm very sorry for you; I lost my mum last year in June. We had a quite good relationship, we lived together with my dad, too, but we surely haven't that type of relation we see on tv and in Dukes stories.There's nothing you can do to cancel what it has been, so don't be angry for that, it's unuseful. Remember the good things that, i'm sure, you had together even if only for once time.And, if you don't like to talk...write, on a paper, on a blog: it helps, believe me.Bye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JESSI DUKE Posted October 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Thank you all for your kind words. Bo we must be related, because when I'm really upset. I have certain teddy bear that bring out and just hold. He usually makes everything ok.I guess it's really going to hit me when i see her laying there. Part of thinks this just a bad dream and at any minute I'll wake up. Part of me wants to say screw it not go. But another says this something i have to do. Tonight we are heading to mom's hometown. Now i just have to put up with family members (the family from hell). Bo, Where you say Take some time, grab some hot chocolate and look through albums. I'll bet there were happy times you had with your mum...You be wrong in heartbeat. My mom and I more bad times then good. You'll only find a very few picture of us together and that's because things that happen could not be fixed no matter how hard family members tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted October 2, 2007 Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 So you had more bad times than good but i'm not entirly wrong am I. You did have some good times with her and you just gotta remember them. Sometimes when things are bad, all you can remember is the bad parts of life, you totally over look anything good that may have happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 Sorry for your loss Jessi. My prayers are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryAnne Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 My thoughts are with you Jessi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JESSI DUKE Posted October 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 It was tuff to see her laying there, but I'm glad I went. Even though my aunt disown me after everything was over. But the way I see it. It's her loss not mine.Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers it meant alot to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julieduke Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 It was tuff to see her laying there, but I'm glad I went. Even though my aunt disown me after everything was over. But the way I see it. It's her loss not mine.Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers it meant alot to me.Your Welcome, sometimes it best to go to the funeral and say goodbye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Grant Posted November 22, 2007 Report Share Posted November 22, 2007 Hey JESSI DUKEFirst off, let me say how sincerely sorry I am about your whole situation. I know where you are coming from. I also have family issues, and I know what it is like to feel like your family dropped you. Just know that it will get better in time. You will, later on, see things in a whole new light and it will clear up, once you make peace with yourself. I am sorry that I can't help more, as much as I'd like to, but that is something you have to find on your own. As hard as it is, I hope you know that we (your Duke cousins) are here for you and will continue to be as long as you need. I don't know about the rest of the fans on here, but I must say I am honored that you would come to us and trust us that much to talk about it. You're one step closer to making peace with the situation. Don't ever give up hope and always know that us Dukes are pullin' for you. I know you mentioned that your mom left you when you were 16. I hope that you don't feel like it is your fault. I am sure that is a sticky situation, but I am sure she had a reason. Maybe she was scared that she couldn't provide for you as much as she would have liked to, couldn't get you as many things as the other kids. Anyhow, I hope you can get through this. God never gives us more than we can handle! I am sure you can handle this. Just know you can talk to us all anytime about this!I hope that this helped at least a little bit. General Grant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogerDuke Posted November 23, 2007 Report Share Posted November 23, 2007 That was thoughtful General Grant. I hope we hear from Jessi for an update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Grant Posted November 24, 2007 Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 Thanks Roger!I also hope to hear from Jessi soon. Jessi: I hope that you are getting through this. I know it is hard, but I'm here if you need to talk. Looking back of the other posts, it looks like you've got all the dukes in your corner supporting you as you are going through this.I hope to hear from you soon.General Grant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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