3 hours ago, Hobie Hartkins said:

OK, I've practiced, tuned up the Moonshine Mauler and added Uncle Jesse's special shine and put some of my own "  Back 40 Hooch "  in the  cab of the truck, just in case I need it! NOW.......when does this thing get started? I think it should be this coming  Saturday about 7pm central time.....what do you guys think?

Sounds good to me. The sooner it gets started the sooner Jesse wins and Emma rides down off Iron Mountain to give him that victory kiss and hug. 

1 hour ago, Skipper Duke said:

Hobie... Watch out for the Skipper and his 1968 Shelby GT 500. 😂

Watching out for it should be pretty easy. It will be the only competitor pulling a yacht. It's pretty hard to miss something like that. You don't see it every day. 

I have an astronomy club meeting Saturday evening but you can start without me at 7:00 central time. I'll catch up later that night. 

It doesn't really matter anyways because with the technologically superior Muskcycle Jesse couldn't lose if he tried so we all know who is winning this. 

Besides, the race might only be one Hazzzard evening but we always stretch it out to a few evenings in HazzardNet time. 

my compurter is acting up but I'm going to try to make it.  This smells like Shi.......Murphy's law!   This is Hazzard! 

OK fellow Hazzardites! I'm here for the race! I've got The Moonshine Mauler's tank filled and I've plenty of Natural Ice in the cab of my truck AND my secret Uncle Jesse formula for the booze I just put in my tank! I"M READY!!!! How about the rest of you guys?

the race might only be one Hazzzard evening but we always stretch it out to a few evenings in HazzardNet time. 

Hazzard Time is the best time!    We can start it now and it can be going for who knows how long? This is what makes Hazzard so great! Very few constraints!  We can get by with stuff most people can't !!

OK folks......the racers are starting their engines and the crowd is going wild......maybe from  Jesse's Shine....??  ....anyway....Hobie is at the starting line with The Moonshine Mauler and he has a tankful AND a snoot full!! There no way cousin Roger, Hoss or anybody else is going to beat him! ....

AND THEY"RE OFF!!! Hobie is throwing up mud and chunks of dirty with his knobby tires and is flying down  the straightway of the starting line! 

I don't see anybody even CLOSE to me and I'm making good time, wth my Mauler !! This might be an easy win! I'm about to open my 3rd beer in a min. and crank up some Marshall Tucker on my stereo!   

Jesse had been looking forward to this for weeks, a chance to impress Emma and show her he can embrace technology. 

At first he had been pretty skeptical of all the tech on the Muskcycle but Elon and Emma had shown him the light....andd just before the starting gun he was more convinced than ever that the tech will come through and he would win easily and get that kiss. 

BANG the starting gun went off. 

Jesse twisted the throttle and let the clutch out, anticipating riding a wheelie the first 300 feet while running through the first 3 or 4 gears. 

The next thing you know there was a second loud bang. But it wasn't the starting gun going off again. It was Elon's computer that was hooked up to the engine of the dirt bike blowing up. Thankfully Jesse wasn't hurt but the dirt bike stalled out and never even crossed the start line. 

"Ding Dang! I should have know better that to trust this contraption!" 

Hobie looked back at the commotion caused by Jesse and his buddy Elon and decided to be a good sport,  so he just smiled and  waved at them while he slowed up to wait for them!

Jesse noticed Hobie slowing down and was insulted.

"I don't need no charity! I was the dang fool who trusted all this tech garbage!"

He looked up on top of Iron Mountain and noticed a puff of smoke. Emma's computer must have blown up too. Lucky for Jesse, the heat from the explosion melted the plastic fasteners and the charred computer fell off. 

"Good! It's just me and the motorcycle. Just like the old days with me and my '38 Silver Streak. Now it's time to catch back up. Looks like Skipper is way ahead now that Hobie slowed down" 

I caught up with everybody as soon as I saw you were going to be ok.  I think your woman may have been guilty of nipping  at the Hooch I keep on Pit Road! LOL!  I'm way out in the boon docks now and I'm passing most everybody! I might have  to make a pit stop and put some of Jesse's Finest in my tank! I think I saw Burl Toliver out on his place, doing some fencing......I thought he was going to be in this race! 

Jesse got up to speed on the dirt bike but was way behind everybody. All he could see was a cloud of dust. He knew Hobie was somewhere up there, along with Skipper, Garrett, Hoss, Meadowmufn and everybody else but had he no idea who was in what place. 

All he knew was how embarrassed he was that he trusted technology. He had always taught the kids that simplicity is always the best policy and here he was, a full grown man who got taken in by the shiney new toy of technology. Now was his chance to prove to himself, Emma and the rest of Hazzard that races can be won on nothing but skill. And in his day, Jesse was the fastest motorcycle racer in North Georgia. 

4 hours ago, RogerDuke said:

Jesse got up to speed on the dirt bike but was way behind everybody. All he could see was a cloud of dust. He knew Hobie was somewhere up there, along with Skipper, Garrett, Hoss, Meadowmufn and everybody else but had he no idea who was in what place. 

All he knew was how embarrassed he was that he trusted technology. He had always taught the kids that simplicity is always the best policy and here he was, a full grown man who got taken in by the shiney new toy of technology. Now was his chance to prove to himself, Emma and the rest of Hazzard that races can be won on nothing but skill. And in his day, Jesse was the fastest motorcycle racer in North Georgia. 

Skipper checks his mirror. Spots Uncle Jesse back there coming up fast. He calls him on the CB. "Hey Uncle Jesse, if you win, I'll take you on a 3 hour tour to my island to see Gilligan and the rest of the gang.

"10-4 Thanks Skipper but the only tour I'm interested is the tour of the winner's circle with Emma planting a kiss on my cheek. But I don't really have much chance of winning now. I was stupid and trusted that tech junk when I should have known better. Maybe she will give me a sympathy kiss." 

In the meantime, Emma had given up on tech too after her computer blew up along with the one hooked to Jesse's dirt bike. Since there was no way she could use her remote control back up, she hopped on her other dirt bike and started down Iron Mountain, hoping to make it to the finish line before the race ended. She knew Jesse would need consoling after what he had been through. 

Keeping his attention on the race, Garrett refuses to fall into everyone's competitive talk and pushes the pedal down farther and a hint of a smile crosses his face at feeling the great power of the engine. Passing Jesse, he gives him a slight respectful nod, before speeding up front.

 

(Sorry y'all I've been away from my computer a bit.) 

Jesse starts to gain ground on the pack and gets close enough to see Meadowmufn and Hoss ahead of him. He gets excited that he might not finish last after all. 

But this is the Mooonshine 400. It's not like any other race in the world. Here it is possible to be an old man riding an old lady's Yamaha dirt bike that is normally used to deliver mail and win after a disastrous start. Jesse knew that and his confidence started growing. If a guy pulling a yacht could do this well, so could he. 

"Only in Hazzard!" he laughed to himself and twisted the throttle as far as it would go. 

Watching the vehicles behind begin to edge and fight one another, Garrett eyes the open road ahead of him. Though knows anything can happen at any time...

Hobie finally sees his chance and he floors it and takes a big swig of his special shine!  He's starting to feel it but that's ok....he's passed Meadow, Roger and somebody that....looked like Hoss?? Anyway,  he isn't going to let Garrett's surprise move take him out of it! Hobie puts the heel to the steel and passes everybody....but...he's feeling it and starts coughing....and ....his allergies start acting up. He has just passed Garrett ( he owed the guy one for beating him last year!  ) He doesn't know how much longer he can hold on to  the lead, now that he's got it. ......

With newfound confidence Jesse passes Meadowmufn, who had stolen Rosco's sheriff's car and then Hoss. Hoss probably would be faster but his Formula 1 car is so low to the ground that it scrapes bottom a lot since the Hazzard roads aren't as smooth as F1 tracks. As he was passing him, Jesse thought to himself that Hoss would have a better chance next year if he installed a lift kit. A monster truck F1 car in the Moonshine 400 would be pretty cool. 

But there was nobody else in sight in front of him after those two passes. Where is Skipper, Garrett and Hobie he wondered. Hopefully they will be popping into view right after he straightened the next curve and flattened the next hill. The 2-stroke Yamaha was running in top form. 

Feeling the freedom of no one in view, Garrett allows his car to slow a bit to give the powerful engine a rest a bit while resting back into his leather seat. He finally glances into his rear view mirror and his heart skips a beat as he sees Jesse's vehicle come across the curve and into view. Sitting up in his seat he presses the accelerator down forcefully the car jolts forward with increase speed. "Eat my dirt, Jesse," he says aloud with a confident smile. 

Hobie takes another sip of shine ( you never waste a sip!) LOL! , and he passes everybody with his specially formulated  super charged shine .....everybody except Meadow and Daisy ( He's too busy looking at them.....!!    )  and then he sees he's going to have to really get it in gear because Garrett and Roger have just about passed him! ( That's when Hobie realizes he should've paid more attention to those two in the locker room before the race.....they were obviously making plans and conspiring to beat him! )  

Skipper is coming up on everyone fast. He's determined to win this thing. If he wins, the prize money will help him buy his new boat MINNOW II. He holds his 1968 Ford Mustang Shelby GT 500 steady as he gains ground on everyone else. "Hello Garrett, Jesse, Hobie" he yells as he passes them up.

Before you know it Jesse had caught up with the pack and was in the thick of everything. Being on a dirt bike certainly had its advantages because he was able to use the bike's maneuverability and his skill to weave between everybody and take advantage of all the chaos. And chaos it was indeed. The lead changes continued on a regular basis but the best place Jesse had been in was third. 

But then he accidently hit neutral when shifting from 5th to 6th after rounding a curve and that put him back to 5th in this tight race. Still, at this point it seemed like just about anybody had a chance to win. He was just happy to be in the thick of things. But he wasn't here to finish in anything but first. 

A new determination overtook him and he let out a rebel yell and turned the throttle as far as it would go again. The front wheel went off the ground again. He felt like a young man racing a half century ago. He felt like nothing could stop him now as he approached Skipper and prepared to pass on his starboard side.

22 minutes ago, RogerDuke said:

Before you know it Jesse had caught up with the pack and was in the thick of everything. Being on a dirt bike certainly had its advantages because he was able to use the bike's maneuverability and his skill to weave between everybody and take advantage of all the chaos. And chaos it was indeed. The lead changes continued on a regular basis but the best place Jesse had been in was third. 

But then he accidently hit neutral when shifting from 5th to 6th after rounding a curve and that put him back to 5th in this tight race. Still, at this point it seemed like just about anybody had a chance to win. He was just happy to be in the thick of things. But he wasn't here to finish in anything but first. 

A new determination overtook him and he let out a rebel yell and turned the throttle as far as it would go again. The front wheel went off the ground again. He felt like a young man racing a half century ago. He felt like nothing could stop him now as he approached Skipper and prepared to pass on his starboard side.

Skipper sees Uncle Jesse coming. "Hi Jesse!" (Waves at him.) "Good race ain't it?"

Hobie snaps out of an alcohol induced snooze and sees Uncle Jesse passing him but he is  still on  Jesse's  rear bumper and about to pass him!  Hobie has  2 more jugs of shine to drink AND to put into the Moonshine Mauler's tank.......this town drunk means business!   ( He's looking around for Garrett.....that guy is sneaky and beat everybody last years....so....!!!)