Brian Coltrane

Bahahaha!! That's hilarious, man. But don't get used to my posts making sense. 1,675 posts. Or 1,676 with this. I should get a life. Right after my next post.

Just a few words of my own to throw in.... Some folks here, I've talked to directly, others I only know from reading posts. But you're all a part of what makes HazzardNet a home. With all the stuff that goes on in the world, and all the ugly stuff in the news, and all the hard stuff everybody personally goes through at one time or another... it's good to have a place to escape to. A place where we're surrounded by friends and friendly people. A place to goof off, a place to rant about something that's on our minds, a place that you're always welcome. One of the things that makes working on HazzardNet so gratifying, is seeing the friendships that form. Over the years I've met a bunch of terrific people on HNet who have become very close friends of mine. And of course, there's MeadowMufn and MaryAnne. The three of us go way back, before HNet was online; but it's HNet, in many ways, that kept us united during some very rough times in life. So, whether or not the Dukes of Hazzard is on the air, whether or not there's a DukesFest, and whether or not anybody knows what the Dukes of Hazzard is, years from now...HazzardNet will be here. Because it's about the people, when ya get right down to it. Thank you all, sincerely. Brian

Park it? Sure, in an open field if there was nothing else around for miles. Ya know, I get the feeling MaryAnne isn't paying any attention to this thread. That or I haven't hit the right buttons yet.

Viper! I knew the new KR reminded me of something I'd seen before ( other than Knight Rider, for all you smarty-pants types who were gonna chime in) and I just couldn't place it. Now that I compare the two, I think Viper was far cooler than the new KR. Here's a YouTube clip with an interesting chase scene. It's classic. The bad guy is in a black car, he's dropping hand grenades out the window, and in the end he refuses to be taken in alive. Edgy, ain't it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_GRRhclGrA&feature=related Tho' all considered, I'll give the new KR series a chance this fall. So far I'm still hearing that it's a "go" and it'll keep the green light, as long as Ford bankrolls it. Any show about cars, beats any show without cars.

I have no idea what's cookin' next, but to "hazzard" a guess maybe it's a bigger-name musical act. So far I've only come across news about the one band, the State Line Mob, and that's not gonna hold over the crowd for the whole weekend. I gotta tell ya'll, I'm concerned about how this year's DF is going to do in attendance, with the economic mood folks are in, and with the lack CMT endorsement. Whatever the upcoming announcement, it needs to be strong enough to get the excitement level built up. If folks are excited enough, it won't matter what the gas costs to get there.

*There was a grim sense of satisfaction in seeing this advesary rendered helpless. The sight of Jack Morrison, as seen over the firing line of the shotgun, was a rare, unique moment. One slight touch to the trigger, and Jack would be dead before hearing the report of the gun.* *Though such a quick end wouldn't be nearly as gratifying, as making Jack suffer through the fear. Brian knew that when someone faced the immediate probability of thier own death, time seemed to freeze and yet suddenly run out at once. He knew this because Jack had put him through it.* *And Brian had sworn, after surviving that day in Atlanta, that Jack Morrison would never, ever have such an opportunity again. There would never again be another ambush from this cop. Never again, would there be nightmares of seeing the wrong end of a gun up close, and waking up in a cold sweat with a racing heart to the deafening, imagined gunshot. *Jack's unexpected appearance in Hazzard County had effectively destroyed the hard-won sense of peace Brian had eventually regained. One look at Jack in the town square had brought it all back. As far as he knew at that moment, nothing he'd done, and nothing he'd ever do, would spare him from the unresolved reckoning of a past sin.* *Brian literally felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as he thought about it. His last, and only sanctuary was Hazzard County, and if he wasn't safe from Jack here, where his kin and his friends protected him fiercely, he would never be safe anywhere. So what choice did that leave?* *The thought process in Brian's eyes seemed to give their brown hue a dark, depthless gaze. His hands tightened on the shotgun.* *Yet if he pulled the trigger, he'd lose everything. Not even his cousins could overlook such a crime, and despite the lack of immediate witnesses, too much had already happened in the public eye. If Brian didn't pull the trigger, Jack would simply return with reinforcements someday...and that would be that. After something like this, Brian doubted he'd live to have his day in court.* *To top it all off, Brian wasn't a killer at heart, and it took extreme duress to put him to this razor's edge. He was already closer to snapping than he would have ever thought possible. Because despite the fact he was now the one in control....there still weren't any good choices. He was effectively trapped by the same guilt that had brought Jack against him to begin with.* *Seconds had stretched into brittle, silent minutes, and Brian could see that Jack was expecting the worst. It was in the man's expression. But there was something else there, too, that couldn't be named as anger or despair or simple resignation. Brian instinctively knew that Jack wouldn't be the type to plead for his life, either. Finally, curiosity won out. Brian spoke, his voice dry and rough with tension.* "....I remember that time in Atlanta. You didn't want me to say a damn thang... 'cause you just wanted to shoot while you knew you were right. Or thought you were. Well, now we both know how it feels on the other side of the coin. 'Cause it'd be much easier for me to shoot you, Lieutenant, than listen to you." *the shotgun remained leveled, but Brian lowered it from his eye, holding it ready at chest height.* "Tho' I ain't so cold, as to deny a man his speechifyin' at a moment like this. So if you got some words stuck in yer throat, Jack...now's the time to spit 'em out."

I like the edgy country-rock thang with State Line Mob. So that'll be fun. News on DukesFest has been quiet enough that I've resorted to doing my own spying, instead of waiting for our underground network of highly classified informants to fill me in so I can take all the credit. Seriously though I've been bashing this Adam West gig for days, so I figured pointing out some good things is in order. I haven't confirmed this next one. But if I can beleive the archery news I found this on, then it sounds like Randy Oitker will be doing marksmanship demonstrations at DukesFest. Randy's site itself does not confirm it as of yet, so don't anybody base your ticket purchase on it. But he is worth watching. He's famous for the 4-arrows-at-a-time shot that nails 4 Lifesaver candies simutaneously. Man, don't try and steal this guy's tree stand next bowhunting season. Here's his site, and there's a link to the aforementioned skill shot: http://www.randyoitker.com/index.html

Of all the photos, I think the one that best represents MaryAnne's valet skills is the fifty-car freeway pileup. When she messes up, she don't mess up small, ya know what I mean? It'd be like having a big cardboard box of toy matchbox cars, and then dumping them all out on the floor at once. It'd look just like that. You'd stare and marvel at how one car can be three miles away from the epicenter and still be wrecked all by itself. She has that kind of talent. And I admire that.

Meanwhile, in the Somethin' New department for DukesFest 2008... a musical act! The band is called "State Line Mob." Southern rock hickabilly sound. The singer dude looks like he could pass for Tom Petty's illegitimate half-brother who's spent too much time in a darkened room with questionable smoking materials. But I like this much, their MySpace page has a photo of a General Lee in the background. They sound awright, too. Reminds me a little bit of Steve Earl but like something else instead. You can check 'em out at their MySpace page, but be warned: It'll probably give your computer a vapor-lock. I've got a fairly tough machine and it nearly knuckled under trying to load this damn page: http://www.myspace.com/statelinemob The shotgun is a nice touch, too.

*No sarcastic answer came back. No smug retort. No taunting banter. There was only a long, heavy silence as Brian considered the fate of his enemy. There were no witnesses around....nothing to prevent him from ending this old problem here and now. It would be payback indeed, to cause this intrusive lawman to know fear and dread. To have Jack imagine that his final seconds were ticking away...* *The Atlantan drawl abruptly broke the silence* "Throw your gun down, Lieutenant. Then come out with yours hands up." *If there was no hint of mercy in the drawl, there was also an absence of rage. The sparse words, the low, controlled tone, gave away nothing of the Coltrane intention.*

I doubt we'll see much promotion at the local level. Atlanta is a great city, but I don't think DF fits in with the modern image they're trying to portray. I doubt we'll see much promotion at the national level since CMT isn't backing it this year. ( last I checked.) But there's a good three months before the gig, so there's time to get a media frenzy going. Or a nice box ad in the classifieds.

Atlanta has a huge problem with the rebel flag. Years ago, the college basketball final rounds were to be played in Atlanta, but then there was the threat of boycott from offended parties. To make a long story short, the Georgia state flag was officially changed, to remove the portion that contained the rebel design. So where does this put DukesFest in the Atlanta public eye? Well, I happen to be a member of a tourist thang for Atlanta and I get their propaganda. Here's a quick list of upcoming Special Events for June 2008: June AtlantaFest Christian Music, Six Flags Over Georgia Atlanta Pride Festival & Parade Classic Chastain Concert Series (through August) Georgia Shakespeare (through August), Oglethorpe University Georgia Special Olympics State Summer Games, Emory University SunTrust Concerts in the Garden, Atlanta Botanical GardenHmm. Something's missing. Let's see...links for culture, links for...hoo boy, well that explains Elton John's pechant for the city...what else is there.... Ah, here we go. If you search by venue, being the Atlanta Motor Speedway, and then search by date range, there's a little paragraph. There's a link to the racetrack, that has no information, and a link to the DF site, that has no information. Except about Batman. Heh!

Whining, complaining, carrying on, crying in the sink, bellyaching, kvetching, and dissing is always permitted on HNet. Overall, everybody's been trying to give the new KR a chance, it's just something didn't quite fit together with that movie. By the time it was getting there, and something almost felt familiar - it was over. The new KITT was pretty dry in the personality department and too smug by far. The old KITT we knew, had a vocal inflection and personality that made him fit in with his creators. Wilton Knight was a sophisticate, the Foundation had swanky digs, and Devon had that crisp Brit accent going on. So when we heard KITT talk for the first time, his voice fit in. The new KITT had less vocal personality than a recording on a toll-free customer service number. Though I'm grateful there's something in the fall show pipeline that isn't a reality show. We're overdue for a new program with car chases and flying bullets, and for that I'll give the new KR a nod.

Very possible, and that's exactly my point about having the Adam West announcement break wind before anything else is heard. And to revisit the "Bo Duke woulda dug Batman" thing.... Ya'd think Bo Duke would be a Superman fan, given John's Smallville gig. Now if John woulda pulled in somebody from the Smallville cast, for DukesFest, I could understand it. I probably wouldn't agree with it 100%, but at least there's a sort of logic involved with John's fan base. I also want to answer RogerDuke's post as he's onto something. This year, DukesFest isn't getting (as far as I last knew) any CMT sponsorship or support. That's got to make the budget a bit tighter. Also, as cool as it is to have DukesFest in Atlanta - right now I'm wondering if it's a tactical error. It's my opinion that Nashville appreciated DukesFest a helluva lot more than Atlanta does. I had to step back and look at this, because earlier in my rants I was like, "can't sell DukesFest tickets in Atlanta?? Riiight..." Well, maybe it is tougher. The city of Nashville was all for DukesFest. Whereas the politically-sensitive city of Atlanta may be cooler towards the yeehaw, Hee-haw, DukesFest image. Atlanta's tourism board spends a lot of time these days, pretending it isn't in the South. About the cast contracts....the merchandise sales that each cast member has at the autograph table, is an obvious part of thier consideration. So having a big turnout in fan attendance makes the whole gig more worth somebody's while. But it's not a bottomless drink, because you can only get through "x" number of people a day in your autograph line, and on the average a fan buys 1 or 2 items at a cost of ten bucks a pop. Yes, there's money here and it can be attractive, but there's only so much you can humanly do in terms of sales at the table. This makes the appearance fee important, as it's a set amount, rain or shine, fans or no fans. But for the promoters and wallet-holders of the event, it gets dicey because you need that gate attendance to be strong. You've just promised somebody "x" dollars to show up, but your own income - namely the ticket sales - could be anything. If the ticket sales are awesome, you're in good shape. If the ticket sales are lower than expected, taking care of all the overhead concerning contracts, venue, entertainment, insurance, and so on becomes daunting. Back to Adam West - several people have mentioned his high merchandise costs. As each cast member at DukesFest looks forward to having some merchandise sales, it would seem a conflict of interest. Also, the reason Adam West charges so much, is because he'd rather sell 1,000 photos at $25... then sell 2,000 photos at $10. Less work, more money. Not a bad strategy but I'm not sure it works with a Dukes crowd.

I was wondering if anybody would catch that one! You get a gold star. Ya know what else is troubling me, is that I don't see any of the other Dukes cast members themselves, making noise about being at DukesFest. Ben's site has a small banner ad for DukesFest, but it's not listed under his upcoming appearances. The tab for "DukesFest" talks about the 2007 gig. Nothing on 2008. Granted he's not running it anymore, but one would expect some promotional gesture, if Ben himself was attending. I also noticed that Ben's site no longer has any tab or link about any General Lee club. He used to. Maybe Ben hasn't updated his site yet, so let's not jump to conclusions. Tom Wopat's site doesn't meantion DukesFest yet either. Hell, there's not even a link to it. Cathy's site never gets updated, so no conclusions from that.... Jimmie's site confirms him as attending DukesFest. Now if only the DukesFest site would pencil him in. And ya think Adam West would put up something about DukesFest on HIS webpage, wouldn't ya! Nah.....

North, that's part of my discontent with this whole Bat blast. Sure, it's John's gig and I expect a few things to be different - but holy dip stick, one would think he'd get the Dukes cast appearances sorted out first. John may be a Batman fan, but saying Adam West fits into DukesFest because Bo Duke would have dug Batman.... gimmie a break. Did the Dukes even have a tv? I thought they were motorheads who wanted to grow up to be race car drivers. Cooter may have dug Led Zepplin, but that doesn't mean they'd fit in at DukesFest. Daisy might have dug watching General Hospital but that doesn't mean you'd have Michael Damien signing autographs at DukesFest. Rosco may have enjoyed watching Charlie's Angels but that doesn't mean you'd have Farrah Fawcett at DukesFest.

For anybody who hasn't seen the new Knight Rider, or who wants to watch it again, NBC has it online. Video quality is pretty dang good. ( the sound quality on the Target commercial is not representative of the show's quality, so don't be put off by that.) http://www.nbc.com/Knight_Rider/video/episodes.shtml#vid=219277

Tim, we're cool, I got nothing against the GL owners. In fact, I went a few hundred miles out of my way once to ride in a GL at a car show , before DF existed. And before your club existed. It was in Salem IN and the guy driving the car - ok, I'll tell you, it was "Pearl" - he drove like a loon on this racetrack. I don't know if he was showing off or trying to scare me, or both, but that was my last GL ride. So when many of the good folks of the Confed club offered GL rides at the Bristol TN DukesFest, I was thinking "Oh gawd" but you guys did an excellent job, and thrilled thousands of fans. That's cool, I was there, I remember it and I give y'all props for it. GL's make everybody smile and I personally appreciate all your club does for the fandom. I also appreciate all the Dukes fans who have attended DukesFest and have stood outside in blazing heat for hours on end, waiting to get in the gate, waiting for an autograph. Without those ticket-paying fans, there's no DukesFest either. Without the money those fans collectively shell out for tickets and souveniers and photos....the cast members wouldn't be at the event, let alone autograph anybody's General. I have been a DF staff volunteer for many consecutive years, so I'm very familiar with all the historical and logistical challenges the event has been through, including the ones your club has endured. So never assume I'm unsympathetic. What I see happening with DF so far, troubles me, and it comes down to the communication, or lack thereof, and how things are being presented, and how things are being prioritized. Maybe I can't agree with what I'm seeing because I've personally been through too much with DukesFest. All I want, is for the event to be a huge success as always. I want the GL owners happy and I want the fans who barely had enough money for gas for the trip, and their ticket, and one cast photo, to be happy. HazzardNet normally gives DukesFest heavy promotion - without a dime of compensation, without getting special favors. Now I don't own this website and I don't call the shots, but to me there's no way in hell we're putting up a DukesFest promo on the homepage to feature Adam West. Frankly it's an embarassment. Anyhow - good discussion, eh? I don't think any of us would get riled up so much, if we didn't have a passion for the Dukes.

Before this goes where it shouldn't.....I've nothing against the replica owners, it's just the handling of the event info hasn't been done very well. I will say that it looks like DF "belongs" to the replica owners now. That's the perception, right or wrong. And hey, I love seeing all the GL's. It wouldn't be DukesFest without them. So absolutely I got no problem with the car owners getting a perk and getting a car signed. But largely, that kind of thing has been transparent to the wider fandom that doesn't own GL Replicas. I mean, do the math. 50 to 100k fans at DF, vs the number of GL's. Not all of us can have a car. We'd like one, though, and you have our envy and admiration in equal dose. Presentation creates perception. I'm hoping things improve on the communication front so that this DF is a great experience for all DUKES fans.

Oh, I see...so, the only way to know for certain if a Dukes cast member is going to be there, is to have a General Lee that needs autographing? And then sign up on that little section that Lesser Fans Without GL Replcas couldn't visit? That doesn't look good either. Somebody needs to get this presented better, STAT.

I'm with ya Tim. With all the other choices that could have been made, I can't agree with Adam West being a "headliner." Daney's also correct in that there's no real verification of who is going to be at DF, thus far. This is why I'm taking issue with the West announcement. People aren't goign to buy DF tickets and make travel plans across several states to see Batman. Adam West could have been added to the bill without as much havoc, if the whole Dukes cast attendence issue had been sorted out and confirmed first. People would still question what West would be doing there, but there wouldn't be the same level of what-the-hell-are-you-thinking. I was suprised how the criticism was handled. This is DukesFest #10 and the prior nine did not have non-Dukes related celebs on the autograph roster. Of course Dukes fans are going to be like "Huh? Batman? Here? Why?" Maybe that's cool for other car-related shindigs where the theme is Anything Goes, but DukesFest was, and should be, the epitome of the Dukes of Hazzard. Not, Dukes and whatever else is handy that might bring in a buck. I'm sure the promoters mean well, but hey you gotta put the Duke-related cast info at the top of the list. Not mutter it out of the corner of your mouth as "might be" or "could be" while the Adam thang gets a billboard. Uncool.

Yeah. Get a new alias. Like...BatGirl01. BAHA! I'm never going to let this Adam West thing go. I can't. You know what the fatal error is in that whole announcement...is they came out and went, "Adam West is going to be at DukesFest!" before clearly defining who among the Dukes cast itself is locked in. That's just stupid. It's like trying to sell tickets to a Rolling Stones concert, while saying the Rolling Stones will probably be there, we're working on it, but hey, we've booked Vanilla Ice as the opening act! WOW! Thhpbth. I've also seen (sadly) the return fire of this issue, elsewhere, and for those Dukes fans who spoke their mind against Adam West...well, evidently they're not team players. They don't "get" how these Big Shindigs work and they can't possibly understand all the logistics and money involved. No criticism welcomed from the peanut gallery. Let me just say this about that. If DF has to bring in non-Dukes related celebs, to convince "non-Dukes fans" to attend DukesFest...which is how this Adam West thing has been explained.... ...then something is seriously bleeped up!!!!! You mean to tell me, they can't sell tickets to DukesFest....in ATLANTA GEORGIA?! Come on. Why the hell would they want non-Dukes fans there to begin with? What next?

Daney, I just realized I had a redundant thang in my post about the concert cancellation. I was writing that at some ungodly hour of the night and that's what happens, 'cause I mentioned it twice. What's worse, is I blew your cover as one of our underworld spies. Oopsy. For your protection, I recommend an immediate change of identity. This message will self dee-struct in five seconds. *BOOM!*

*....and putting his eye within range of the terrible shotgun. Tempting as the target was, however, no shot was fired at Jack. Not quite yet. Though the double-barrled shotgun was leveled at the tree, at the height of Jack's head, with uneering accuracy.* *Brian might have wanted more of a sure bet in the way of a target, or he might have been trying to unnerve his prey. Or perhaps he was trying to tempt Jack into something rash, something foolish.* *In the background, the tranquil sounds of the country filled the air. Birds sang and warbled amongst the tall pines. Insects hummed. A distant whinny came from a horse pasture. A soft, southern breeze, warm and easy, stirred the tall field grass. The peace was an illusion, for the two men who stood to trade life and death.* *Throughout that lifelong minute, one dark eye never veered from the target. Brian waited in a hunter's stance, the shotgun at ready, and watched Jack, waiting for him to expose more than that sliver of a target he was offering from behind the tree.* *There was another option though, to flush out the prey. The beautiful thing about a double-barreled shotgun, is that there are two triggers, allowing for both barrels to be fired at once - as Brian had done last time - or, each trigger could be pulled separately, discharging one barrel at a time. It might be wise to hold a round in reserve. If Jack was careless and not paying attention, he might make a false, and fatal assumption about his enemy's need to immediately reload.* *Without warning, without any indication that he was about to fire, Brian's forefinger tapped the left trigger of the shotgun. A single, powerful blast from one barrel hit the center of the tree, tearing out a chunk of the bark and wood.* KA-BLAM!

I'm glad that those of ya'll who went, had a great time. Ben's a lot of fun to hang around. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't make the trip this time around, though I wanted to go. If any of y'all who went, have a good pic of Ben signing an autograph, or a pic of you and Ben, feel welcome to put them in the Gallery for the rest of us to enjoy and envy. And if you want to be a guest ree-porter and write up a little ditty about your experience meeting Ben - like the good posts we've seen here - feel welcome to send it in to us, with a picture you wouldn't mind having on the HNet Homepage. We might just make you a star. Or at least Fan of the Month, which we haven't done in...what, two years? (It's like our Employee of the Month, which is awarded on odd-numbered Leap Years.) Anyway, PM me if you'd like to make the front page with your write-up. For length guidelines, just take a look at the usual yammering on the homepage and gauge it more or less on the average.