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Favorite Dukes of Hazzard Quotes


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(Season 2 Hazzard Connection)

Rosco stops Auggie's car carrier at a roadblock with Shoulders driving it to search it for whatever Auggie Detweiller is smuggling. Shoulders:(Calls Aughie on the CB in the car carrier truck.)"Old Rosco's mad enough to chew nails and spit horse shoes. He knows we're up to something." Auggie:(On CB.)"Of course he does. Only, he got the smarts to figure out what it is. But if you think he's mad now, you just wait til you tell him he's gotta put every one of those cars back exactly the way he found 'em. Or we're gonna get the law down on him." Shoulders:"Uh Sheriff?"(Waggles finger for Rosco to come here.) Rosco:"Jumpin' jehosaphat! We gotta put all this back!?"(To Enos)"Well, don't just stand there ya dipstick! Get it all back!"

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(Season 1 Repo Men)

Bo Duke:"Repo men us!?" Ace Parker:"Well, some boys stuck me with a hot check for a Rolls." Bo Duke:"Ain't no way Ace, I hate repo men!" Luke Duke:"Hey who don't! Personally, I'd like to win that race Saturday. So we need that Richard Petty car to A: get the spare parts to B: rebuild the General Lee so he can D and E: enter and win. F: Am I gettin' thru to you?" Ace Parker:"Here's your key. You see, I always keep a spare on every car, because it's a lot less hassle when you have to repossess it." Bo Duke(Snatches key and papers.)

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:previous:

As you said in your PM, you missed out "C". As I've said several times, please check your quotes before posting them. If you're just copying them from Facebook - STOP! Watch the show, and if you think a line is funny or memorable, then post it. We don't need a string of inaccurate quotes from unreliable third party sources.

The first two lines above come from the beginning of the scene inside Ace's, before we're introduced to the counterfeiters. The rest is from the continuation of the scene.

[Bo and Luke enter Ace Parker's to make an offer on the Richard Petty wreck]
Luke: "That wreck out there, how much you give us if we haul it off for you?"
Ace: "Well now, that's $700, boys. We both know what it is and what it's worth."
Bo: "We'll take it."
Ace: "Since you Duke boys quit making whiskey, you ain't earned $700 in a year."
Luke: "We give you $200, and you can hold it."
Ace: "I'm holding it now. You see, it's on special today, but tomorrow the price is $1,000."
Bo: "Well how come?"
Ace: "Because you need it. I got it. It's the only one around."
Bo: "Let's get out of here."
[Bo and Luke start to leave]
Ace: "Unless you'd do a little repossession work for me."
Bo: "Repo men? Us?"
Ace: "Well, some boys stuck me with a hot check for a Rolls."

[Bo and Luke turn to hear Ace's offer]
Ace: "I'll tell you what I'll do. You take these papers and bring back the Rolls, and I'll let you have that wreck out there for $200."
Bo: "There ain't no way, Ace. I hate repo men."
Luke: "Hey, who don't? Personally, I'd like to win that race Saturday. So, A: We need that Richard Petty car to B: Get the spare parts to C: Rebuild the General Lee so he can, D and E: Enter and win. F: Am I getting through to you?"
Ace: "And here's your key. See, I always keep a spare on every car, if it comes up. It's a lot less hassle when you have to repossess it."
[Bo snatches the key and the papers]

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(Season 4 Hughie Hogg Strikes Again)

Boss Hogg:"And Rosco, what's more, I'm tellin' you. If you wanna keep on bein' Sheriff around here, you'll slap a parking ticket on every car in this town. Whether it's parked or no!" Rosco:"Well Boss, what good is that gonna do? There's nobody here in town. They're up there at the drive-in at that swap meet." Boss Hogg:"Well, there's gotta be a few folks around here who ain't got no money to go to no swap meet!" Rosco(Mocking Boss in a Boss imitation):"Well then how are they gonna pay for a parking ticket?!" Boss Hogg:"They can pay with IOUs. I'll take anything." Rosco:"That's what I love about you Boss. You're all wallet." Boss Hogg:"Yeah!"

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21 hours ago, Skipper Duke said:

(Season 1 One Armed Bandits)

Bo Duke:"You know what, I kinda admire the way he handles that thing!"

How many times do I need to ask for context with quotes like this? It means nothing without knowing who or what Bo is talking about. For reference, he's commenting on Cooter's driving after he flips the stolen police car.

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1 hour ago, HossC said:

How many times do I need to ask for context with quotes like this? It means nothing without knowing who or what Bo is talking about. For reference, he's commenting on Cooter's driving after he flips the stolen police car.

Fans already know that though. ;)

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2 hours ago, HossC said:

How many times do I need to ask for context with quotes like this? It means nothing without knowing who or what Bo is talking about. For reference, he's commenting on Cooter's driving after he flips the stolen police car.

I will make you happy from now on. If the lines needs explained than I'll start doing explanations with them. ;)

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20 hours ago, Skipper Duke said:

Fans already know that though. ;)

I'd consider myself a fan, and I couldn't remember which scene it was from until I watched the episode. Luckily, in comes in the first five minutes. Some quotes stand by themselves - they're either funny enough in their own right, or there's enough in them to explain the situation. Others just need a little lead-in. I'd hope that this forum is accessible to all visitors, whether they're die-hard fans or people with just a passing interest in the show.

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10 minutes ago, HossC said:

I'd consider myself a fan, and I couldn't remember which scene it was from until I watched the episode. Luckily, in comes in the first five minutes. Some quotes stand by themselves - they're either funny enough in their own right, or there's enough in them to explain the situation. Others just need a little lead-in. I'd hope that this forum is accessible to all visitors, whether they're die-hard fans or people with just a passing interest in the show.

I'm out reactions but I ❤ this.

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3 hours ago, Hobie Hartkins said:

Rosco to Enos....Monkey see monkey do!

Haha! (Season 2 Find Loretta Lynn) I love this part. Rosco:"Enos! What the heck are you doin' here!? Yer supposed to be followin' those people that stole Loretta Lynn!" Enos:"Well, you said to follow you. Ain't that right Sheriff? Monkey see monkey do!" Rosco:"I'll monkey see monkey do do you!"

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(Season 1 The Big Heist)

Boss Hogg is sitting at his desk in his court house office, counting out money.

Waylon Jennings:"On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Hazzard County Commissioner Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg can be found down at the court house, corruptin' the county. Like now. Where he's countin' out illegal moonshine money, he's splittin' even with Sheriff Rosco Coltrane." Boss Hogg:"4 fer me, 1 fer the Sheriff." Boss Hogg:"5 fer me 1 fer the Sheriff." Waylon Jennings:"That's Boss Hogg, everything 50/50 right down the middle."

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On 7/18/2022 at 6:19 AM, Skipper Duke said:

(Season 1 The Big Heist)

Boss Hogg is sitting at his desk in his court house office, counting out money.

Waylon Jennings:"On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Hazzard County Commissioner Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg can be found down at the court house, corruptin' the county. Like now. Where he's countin' out illegal moonshine money, he's splittin' even with Sheriff Rosco Coltrane." Boss Hogg:"4 fer me, 1 fer the Sheriff." Boss Hogg:"5 fer me 1 fer the Sheriff." Waylon Jennings:"That's Boss Hogg, everything 50/50 right down the middle."

Cousin Roger Duke... I put context. This should make Cousin HossC Awesome Hossome happy. :)

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(Season 1 Repo Men)

Bo is about to drive thru a barn.

Luke Duke:"Sure hope you like scrambled eggs!" Bo Duke:"What has that got to do with this!?" Luke Duke:"Where there's chickens, there's eggs!" They have driven out of the barn. Bo Duke:"Sure was a funny place to put a barn." Luke Duke:"You try that fool stunt again, I'll find a funnier place to put one!"

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(Season 2 Days of Shine and Roses)

Sheriff Emitt Spike has stopped an old car at a roadblock. He has searched it, found moonshine, and is angry.

Waylon Jennings:"Sheriff Emitt Spike Loomis. A man who hates moonshiners, and has his own peculiar way of showin' it." Sheriff Emitt Spike Loomis:"Does this ridge runnin' heap of trash belong to you boy?" Moonshiner nods yes. Sheriff Emmit Spike Loomis:"Well, it don't no more!" He begins tearing parts off the car, using a railroad spike. Waylon Jennings:"Fortunately, old Spike has mellowed out with the years."

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(Season 2 Gold Fever)

Luke:"Daisy, I'm afraid yer car is dead! We Ain't in much better shape."(Says this about the golddiggers shooting up Daisy's car, crippling it.) Bo:"No we ain't! The Texans are gone, all of Boss Hogg's money is gone." Luke:"An' before he finds us, we better be gone."

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(The Dukes of Hazzard: Reunion 1997)In the Boars Nest, just before the fight scene ensues. Bo:"Hey Luke, isn't that uh-?" Luke:"It sure is." Bo:"You know, without the helmet, I do recognize the driver. He's a disbarred race driver name Cam Cutler. Awe Luke, they ain't worth it." Luke:"You wanna bet?"

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