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Jessi -

I am sorry to hear about your mom passing and the situation that she had put you through. That is a hard position to be in and it would cause for some painful and hard feelings towards her for doing what she had done. It'd also be hard to know how to feel as you have worded.

Once again - I am sorry of all that you are now facing. I hope that things will soon get better for you. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS))))

Keep it between the ditches

Garrett Duke

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Hi Jessi, I really feel bad for you. It sounds like you have a lot of things to figure out. I don't know if this will work for you but this is what I would do if I were in your shoes. TALK. Go to the best listener you know who really cares about you and just completely let everything out. Be honest with them about everything you're feeling. Sometimes you don't instantly feel like you've made progress when you let it all out but when you're really hurting bad like that, healing is never instant. Go to that person for help as many times as you need to. Talk to other people as well, to get different points of view. Don't feel selfish if you're dominating the conversation. It's alright to be a little selfish in this case. Be good to yourself. Watch two Dukes episodes tonight instead of just one. LOL

Finally, I don't mean to preach but there are other options besides human beings to go to when you have problems....

Hang in there buddy, Roger

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Hey there Jessi, I am truley sorry for your loss, I can say I've been in yer shoes for the most part, My grandma who we lost almost 5 years ago was like my mother to me. My mom could really help you understand more because my grandma treated her about the same way that yer mother treated you. (sorry to be so upfoward and all, this is the best I can put it.)

Your best bet though, is to grieve because if not it'll hurt you worser -speaking here from my mom- she said that if you didnt you'd regret it later.. she said it would hit you all at once and it would hurt you worser.

Like RogerDuke said sometimes you don't always need to go to a human being for comfort, go to an animal or heck, this may sound weird, but a picture of her or something. the best animal i've ever comforted to was my horse they do seem to listen and understand.

once again real sorry for yer loss and my prayers are with you.

Keep it tween the Ditches!

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Hey there

Man that must be rough and I can see that you obviously have a huge conflict to get over...but that says more to me than anything else about how your feeling. You obviously - if you feel so conflicted over what you should be feeling - loved your mum deep down because she was your mum and she did take care of you for 16 years. I can see where you wouldn't want to grieve for her but at the end of the day, it is only gonna make things harder when people want to talk about her and you've resolved not to let anything get to you.

Its a shame you didnt get on together, but now is the time to make amends even if she isnt here anymore. Make peace with yourself and her, not every relationship is like what you see on tv. Me and my mum fight like cat and dog, we're nothing like what you see on tv. TV is fantasy, its what everyone wants their parents to be like but unfortunatly they just cant be.

I think you should grieve, because as Lori said and Roger it will only make matters worse. You have a lot of people on here you can talk to - me included - and people around you or animals too...even a stuffed teddy which is something I do when i'm upset. Take some time, grab some hot chocolate and look through albums. I'll bet there were happy times you had with your mum...

*huggles*

Take care and i'm here if you want to talk

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Hi Jessi, I really feel bad for you. It sounds like you have a lot of things to figure out. I don't know if this will work for you but this is what I would do if I were in your shoes. TALK. Go to the best listener you know who really cares about you and just completely let everything out. Be honest with them about everything you're feeling. Sometimes you don't instantly feel like you've made progress when you let it all out but when you're really hurting bad like that, healing is never instant. Go to that person for help as many times as you need to. Talk to other people as well, to get different points of view. Don't feel selfish if you're dominating the conversation. It's alright to be a little selfish in this case. Be good to yourself. Watch two Dukes episodes tonight instead of just one. LOL

Finally, I don't mean to preach but there are other options besides human beings to go to when you have problems....

Hang in there buddy, Roger

I have an idea do you have the John Schneider cd with "If Had I Only Known" well if don't then find the song by Reba McEntire as well. You might want to look at one of her cd's before 1993 thow and listen to either version to might just help.

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I'm very sorry for you; I lost my mum last year in June. We had a quite good relationship, we lived together with my dad, too, but we surely haven't that type of relation we see on tv and in Dukes stories.

There's nothing you can do to cancel what it has been, so don't be angry for that, it's unuseful. Remember the good things that, i'm sure, you had together even if only for once time.

And, if you don't like to talk...write, on a paper, on a blog: it helps, believe me.

Bye

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Thank you all for your kind words. Bo we must be related, because when I'm really upset. I have certain teddy bear that bring out and just hold. He usually makes everything ok.

I guess it's really going to hit me when i see her laying there. Part of thinks this just a bad dream and at any minute I'll wake up. Part of me wants to say screw it not go. But another says this something i have to do. Tonight we are heading to mom's hometown. Now i just have to put up with family members (the family from hell).

Bo, Where you say Take some time, grab some hot chocolate and look through albums. I'll bet there were happy times you had with your mum...

You be wrong in heartbeat. My mom and I more bad times then good. You'll only find a very few picture of us together and that's because things that happen could not be fixed no matter how hard family members tried.

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  • 1 month later...

Hey JESSI DUKE

First off, let me say how sincerely sorry I am about your whole situation. I know where you are coming from. I also have family issues, and I know what it is like to feel like your family dropped you. Just know that it will get better in time. You will, later on, see things in a whole new light and it will clear up, once you make peace with yourself. I am sorry that I can't help more, as much as I'd like to, but that is something you have to find on your own. As hard as it is, I hope you know that we (your Duke cousins) are here for you and will continue to be as long as you need.

I don't know about the rest of the fans on here, but I must say I am honored that you would come to us and trust us that much to talk about it. You're one step closer to making peace with the situation. Don't ever give up hope and always know that us Dukes are pullin' for you.

I know you mentioned that your mom left you when you were 16. I hope that you don't feel like it is your fault. I am sure that is a sticky situation, but I am sure she had a reason. Maybe she was scared that she couldn't provide for you as much as she would have liked to, couldn't get you as many things as the other kids. Anyhow, I hope you can get through this. God never gives us more than we can handle! I am sure you can handle this.

Just know you can talk to us all anytime about this!

I hope that this helped at least a little bit.

General Grant

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