quotes Favorite Dukes of Hazzard Quotes

[Skipper Duke]

(The Dukes of Hazzard Reunion 1997)

Bo:"First they snooker us into makin' a bet. Then they hire an outlaw driver to wreck car, and then pick a fight with us at the Boars Nest. What is it exactly that makes you think they're up to somethin'?" Luke:"It's almost enough to make a man consider a few tricks of his own!" Uncle Jesse:"When you start actin' like yer enemy, what makes you any better?"

Edited April 11, 2023 by Skipper Duke

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 2 The Rustlers)

Cowan & Dunlap see Rosco with Manassas.

Dunlap:"There's our money ticket." Cowan:"How'd you know to follow the Sheriff instead of Boss Hogg?" Dunlap:"My daddy always told me "Never follow the possums when the dogs will lead you there." Cowan:"What?" Dunlap:"Get the van and the trailer."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Dear Diary) The boys are in jail. The cell is locked. Rosco is about to unlock it to put the boys in. Rosco(Unlocking cell door. Gives Bo his gun.)"Here! Hold this." Bo:"Rosco, I can't hold a gun! I'm on probation."(Throws it inside the cell.) Luke:"Let's go!"(The boys make their getaway.) Rosco:"Don't throw that gun in there! Freeze!" Boss Hogg:"Cletus stop 'em!" Cletus:"I don't have my gun either." Boss Hogg:"Nobody's got a gun around here!"

[Skipper Duke]

 (Boss Hogg to his partner in crime Mr. Jenkins in a scene of the Season 5 episode Big Daddy, upon seeing Daddy Hogg approaching them, and not wanting Daddy Hogg to over hear.) Boss:"Well, well, well, Mr. Jenkins! How are you?"(Quietly so Daddy Hogg won't hear.)"I'll give you yer money later, now get the heck outta here!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Not sure off hand which season/episode. But it's a scene with Boss and Rosco. Dukes tell Rosco something and he don't buy it.  Rosco:"Oh Bologna!" Boss Hogg :"Bologna? Bologna? Did you say Bologna!?" Rosco:"Yeah I said Bologna." Boss Hogg:"Where is it? Where's the Bologna?" Rosco:"Oh these Dukes are dishin' out the Bologna!"

[HossC]

It's part of a scene from about halfway through 'Sittin' Dukes' in season 7. Here's the full scene:

Sheriff Little is interrogating Jesse and Daisy with Boss and Rosco watching.

Sheriff Little: Who put you up to driving that truck?
Daisy: Them escaped convicts, that's who.
Jesse: And nobody put us up to it. They made us do it. Just like they made Bo and Luke drive that car.
Rosco: Oh, tish, tush, tiddly-walker. Are you trying to tell me that Luke Duke did not know this Benson fella in the Marine Corps?
Daisy: Well, sure they were in the Marines together, Rosco.
Jesse: But they weren't buddies. As a matter of fact, Luke sent that Benson fella to the brig.
Rosco: Oh, baloney.
Boss: Bologna. Did you say bologna?
Rosco: Yes, I said, baloney.
Boss: Where is it?
Rosco: Oh, these Dukes are dishing out the baloney.
Sheriff Little: Are you two gonna talk or am I gonna have to spend the rest of the day grilling you, huh?
Boss: Wait, please don't use that word, "grill". It reminds me of hamburgers, frankfurters and barbeques.
Rosco: Ahh.
Boss: Listen, I got an idea. Why don't we just break for lunch?
Sheriff Little: [To Boss and Rosco] You two ain't going nowhere. [Turning to Jesse and Daisy] Neither are these two, until you talk. Now, I've cracked some hard-boiled eggs before.
Boss: Hard-boiled eggs.
Daisy: Will y'all just stop fishing around and try and help Bo and Luke?
Boss: Fish. I can't stand it anymore. I gotta have something to eat. Give me something to eat. Anything. I'll eat anything. Anything. Give me something to eat.

Boss then runs out to try and take the dog biscuit that Enos is feeding to Flash.

[Skipper Duke]

3 hours ago, HossC said:

It's part of a scene from about halfway through 'Sittin' Dukes' in season 7. Here's the full scene:

Sheriff Little is interrogating Jesse and Daisy with Boss and Rosco watching.

Sheriff Little: Who put you up to driving that truck?
Daisy: Them escaped convicts, that's who.
Jesse: And nobody put us up to it. They made us do it. Just like they made Bo and Luke drive that car.
Rosco: Oh, tish, tush, tiddly-walker. Are you trying to tell me that Luke Duke did not know this Benson fella in the Marine Corps?
Daisy: Well, sure they were in the Marines together, Rosco.
Jesse: But they weren't buddies. As a matter of fact, Luke sent that Benson fella to the brig.
Rosco: Oh, baloney.
Boss: Bologna. Did you say bologna?
Rosco: Yes, I said, baloney.
Boss: Where is it?
Rosco: Oh, these Dukes are dishing out the baloney.
Sheriff Little: Are you two gonna talk or am I gonna have to spend the rest of the day grilling you, huh?
Boss: Wait, please don't use that word, "grill". It reminds me of hamburgers, frankfurters and barbeques.
Rosco: Ahh.
Boss: Listen, I got an idea. Why don't we just break for lunch?
Sheriff Little: [To Boss and Rosco] You two ain't going nowhere. [Turning to Jesse and Daisy] Neither are these two, until you talk. Now, I've cracked some hard-boiled eggs before.
Boss: Hard-boiled eggs.
Daisy: Will y'all just stop fishing around and try and help Bo and Luke?
Boss: Fish. I can't stand it anymore. I gotta have something to eat. Give me something to eat. Anything. I'll eat anything. Anything. Give me something to eat.

Boss then runs out to try and take the dog biscuit that Enos is feeding to Flash.

Thanks Cousin HossC. Can always count on you.

[RogerDuke]

Just finished watching Coy vs Vance where Boss had Rosco and Enos switch jobs. 

Rosco, "Enos, you dipstick!" 

Enos, "I'm the sheriff now and you're the dipstick." 

[Skipper Duke]

4 hours ago, RogerDuke said:

Just finished watching Coy vs Vance where Boss had Rosco and Enos switch jobs. 

Rosco, "Enos, you dipstick!" 

Enos, "I'm the sheriff now and you're the dipstick." 

Boss:"Oh you're both dipsticks!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 Money to Burn)

Enos takes over counting money for Boss Hogg. Rosco:"Enos! Can't you count faster like the Boss does!? His little fat fingers just fly!" Boss Hogg:"That's alright Rosco. Some got it, some ain't." Rosco:"Well, he ain't. He's a dipstick!"

[Skipper Duke]

(The Dukes of Hazzard Reunion 1997)Buzz Kilroy shows up with his racecar the Double Zero(00). Bo Duke:"Hey. Ain't that Buzz?" Luke Duke:"And the Double Zero(00)." Cooter Davenport:"The only car that ever whipped the General in an overland race." Luke Duke:"Thanks fer remindin' us! Come on y'all. Let's go see if we got a racecar to race with."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 7 Cool Hands Luke & Bo)

Sheriff R. P. Droopy Cathcarte:"Sheriff Droopy Cathcarte callin' Mr. Claiborne. Come back sir." Colonel Cassius B. Claiborne:"Droopy did you spot them Duke Boys yet?" Sheriff R. P. Droopy Cathcarte:"I'm on their tail right now, Mr. Claiborne sir." Colonel Cassius B. Claiborne:"Good huntin'. Out." Captain Slater:"The Duke Boys? Why the Duke Boys?" Colonel Cassius B. Claiborne:"They're the first step in my plan to bring Boss Hogg to his knees." Captain Slater:"Well, I don't see how that's gonna smoke out Hogg, he hates them Duke Boys." Colonel Cassius B. Claiborne:"True. But Hazzard loves 'em. Public pressure is gonna drive that porky little Hogg right into my net. I been mappin' this out fer 11 months." Captain Slater:"Sounds like we're gonna have some fun around here, don't it?"

[RogerDuke]

Droopy played a great sheriff. And Cassius was a great bad guy. What a duo! 

[Skipper Duke]

2 hours ago, RogerDuke said:

Droopy played a great sheriff. And Cassius was a great bad guy. What a duo! 

Cousin Roger yep!

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 Deputy Dukes)

Bo & Luke's ambulance that they swapped the police car for breaks down while transporting Public Enemy #1 Rocky Marlowe to Hazzard.

Bo:"You got any idea what's wrong with it?" Luke Duke:"Nope. Only that the problem's religious in nature." Bo Duke:"Religious?" Luke Duke:"Yeah, you better pray I could fix it!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 7 Cool Hands Luke & Bo)

Colonel Cassius B Claiborne breaks up the fight between Bo, Luke & Captain Slater. He arrives on the scene, and pulls and fires his pistol into the air. It echoes. Colonel Cassius B Claiborne:"That's enough Slater! The fights over." Captain Slater:"I ain't finished yet!" Colonel Cassius B Claiborne:"From the looks of things, I'd say you were. Now git yer shotgun, before you have riot on yer hands!" Captain Slater:"Yes sir!"(To the grinnin' prisoners.)"What're you scums grinnin' at!? Git back to the barracks right now! Move it!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 High Octane)

Cooter:"Uncle Jesse!" Uncle Jesse is looking trying to find the voice who's calling him. Cooter is doing the calling, from under the General Lee. He's fixing the shorted out tail light wire to make Rosco happy. Cooter:"Uncle Jesse!" Uncle Jesse is perplexed and still can't find the source of the voice just yet . Cooter:"Uncle Jesse hey!!!"(Grabs Uncle Jesse's leg.) Uncle Jesse:"Dang blasted it Cooter! Quit callin' me Uncle Jesse! I got enough people callin' me Uncle Jesse!" Cooter:"Yes sir Uncle- Eh Mr. Duke!" Cooter has crawled out from under the General Lee. He sits on the trunk. Uncle Jesse:"What're you doin' under there, anyways?" Cooter:"Oh the tail light wire shorted out. You know how old Rosco is." Uncle Jesse:"Do you need some help?" Cooter:"Naw sir. I already got it. Besides, you'd get all greasy. With me, it don't matter no more, Mr. Duke."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 6 A Boy's Best Friend)

(Bo & Luke pick up Maxine Hooper at the dog pound as a present for Terry Lee at the orphanage.) Luke:(Putting her in the General Lee.) "Ease on in here, an' watch out fer my feet 'cause I'm comin' in."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Coltrane vs Duke)

Cooter Davenport(In his garage on the phone calling Dukes.):"Mabel, will you git me the Jesse Duke Farm please?" Waylon Jennings:"So old Cooter dropped the bad news on the Duke Boys." (Bo & Luke are riding in the General Lee discussing Rosco's "injuries".) Luke Duke:"I just don't understand how Rosco could've been hurt so bad!" Bo Duke:"He looked fine to me! Fine fer Rosco anyway!"(Laughs). Luke Duke:"I guess maybe sometimes injuries can take awhile to come on, an' make their effects known! Course, somebody like Rosco, shoot, when yer slow I guess yer slow!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 Repo Men)

Luke Duke:"That wreck out there, how much will you give us if we haul it off for ya?" Ace Parker:"Well, now, that's $700 boys. We both know what it is, an' what it's worth." Bo Duke:"We'll take it!" Ace Parker:"Since you Duke Boys quit makin' whiskey, you ain't earned $700 in a year." Luke Duke:"We'll give you $200, an' you can hold it." Ace Parker:"I'm holdin' it now! You see, it's on special today. But tomorrow, price is $1,000!" Bo Duke:"Well, how come?" Ace Parker:"Because you need it. I got it. It's the only one around."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 Repo Men)

Rosco:"Now I'm just a country Sheriff, an' I got troubles of my own. But, if I didn't know any better, I would swear that is a counterfeit plate. But, now who in his right mind would make a counterfeit plate yay long and yay narrow, an' if you're not outta my county in 30 minutes, I'm callin' the FBI."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 The Big Heist) Bo bursts into Boss Hogg's office in the Courthouse. Boss is counting out money again. Bo Duke:"Put that money in that sack on top of the rest yer money and fast!" Boss Hogg:"Right! Right Bo!" Bo motions like he will shoot Boss Hogg. Boss Hogg:"I didn't say Bo I didn't say Bo!"(Pointing to money)"I said dough!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 The Big Heist)A Boss Hogg is counting out money in his Courthouse office. Neil Bishop bursts in. Boss Hogg:"Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Look, if it's money yer after, forget it. I never keep any money in my office!" Neil looks wide eyed at the money on the desk and in Boss's hand. He looks back at Boss. Boss Hogg:"Except a few pennies fer my poor Mama's operation, an' that's the truth! I swear it in my Mama's grave!" Neil Bishop:"You fill up that sack! Fill it! Come on, faster! Gimme! Alright, now you turn around and count to 100." Boss Hogg:"1, 2, 3, 4, 5-" Neil Bishop:"Slow!" Boss Hogg:"Oh 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95, 100!" Waylon Jennings:"Old Boss can't even count to 100 without cheatin'!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 3 The Canterbury Crock)

Rosco is drivin' General Lee with Boss Hogg ridin' shotgun.)

Boss Hogg:"Do you know how to drive this?" Rosco:"Listen, I'm good! I'm doin' good!" Boss Hogg:"Yeah? Well, you ain't doin' as good as the Duke Boys do!"(Spots Maury & Beckman in Rosco's stolen police car.)"There they are! Now don't lose 'em!" Rosco:"I got the pedal to the metal!"

Maury:"Nobody's gonna catch us with that vase now Mr. Beckman!" Mr. Beckman:"Vase!" Maury:"Yep!" Mr. Beckman:"The vase, we left it in the other car! Turn this around quickly!"

Rosco:(Drivin' General Lee with Boss Hogg ridin' shotgun. Rosco sees Maury & Beckman turn his stolen police car around.)"Now where are they goin'?" Boss Hogg:"Well, follow 'em, then we'll know!"

 

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 3 Mrs. Rosco P. Coltrane)

Mama Coltrane(To Rosco):"You mean you got a girl out of a machine? Lordy, what won't they think of next?"