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Redneck Know-How!


Brian Coltrane

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Take this quiz to see how much Redneck common sense ya have!

WD-40 is:

1) A cooking spray

2) A highway in Wisconsin

3) A radioactive material

4) A household oil

Which is the best way to coax your car to start?

1) Saying “C’mon, baby…†while you turn the key

2) Swearing while you flood the choke

3) Threatening to trade it in while hitting the dash

4) Praying out loud

If you have 3 points left on your driver’s license, what motor vehicle violation can you still afford to have?

1) Speeding

2) Running a red light

3) Reckless driving

4) My car doesn’t run, so it’s no problem

You’re hauling lumber in the trunk of your car, but it sticks out way beyond the trunk. For safety’s sake, you should:

1) Beep the horn repeatedly

2) Swerve the car so everyone behind you can see it

3) Drive faster to get the trip over sooner

4) Tie your clothing to the lumber to slow traffic behind you

Your favorite TV show is:

1) CMT Top 20 Countdown

2) Green Acres

3) Hee Haw

4) The Dukes of Hazzard

The most important item in your weekly grocery list is:

1) Skoal

2) Beer

3) Potatoes

4) Pork Rinds

You enjoy reading which of the following?

1) Cereal boxes

2) Warning labels

3) New truck ads

4) Who the hell reads?

True or false!

Beef jerky never spoils.

1) True

2) False

You can smoke a ham in the microwave.

1) True

2) False

3) Yeehaaw!

Add up yer score! The more points you’ve added up, the more Reckneck Know-How you’ve gotcher self!

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WD-40 is:

2) A highway in Wisconsin

Yes! Have you ever looked at a Wisconsin highway map?!

Which is the best way to coax your car to start?

1) Saying “C’mon, baby…†while you turn the key

Other words can be substituted for "C'mon, baby" but this is a famliy board.

If you have 3 points left on your driver’s license, what motor vehicle violation can you still afford to have?

4) My car doesn’t run, so it’s no problem

See previous question.

You’re hauling lumber in the trunk of your car, but it sticks out way beyond the trunk. For safety’s sake, you should:

2) Swerve the car so everyone behind you can see it

3) Drive faster to get the trip over sooner

Doing both at the same time I think is optimal.

Your favorite TV show is:

4) The Dukes of Hazzard

What was the point of the other three selections??!?!

The most important item in your weekly grocery list is:

1) Skoal

2) Beer

3) Potatoes

4) Pork Rinds

All four. They represent the four major redneck food groups ya know!

You enjoy reading which of the following?

3) New truck ads

And I don't look at pitchers of no stinkin' Toyota trucks neither!!

True or false!

Beef jerky never spoils.

1) True

2) False

Who the hell keeps beef jerky around long enough to find out?

You can smoke a ham in the microwave.

3) Yeehaaw!

That's what the tinfoil is for!!

:wink:

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 years later...
Okay, the award for Smarmy Answers goes to MaryAnne. I shouldn't be surprised. :D

Chet, you asked what my score was? Dude, I wrote the quiz, that should speak for itself.

For the rest of ya'll - the higher the score, the better ya did! Thanks for participatin'.

Coming soon - the HazzardNet Moderator Qualification Exam!

Brian

Link- is the HazzardNet Moderator Aptitude Test, the aforementioned exam?

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  • 4 months later...

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