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Dukes of Hazzard Paraphrasing/Inaccurate Quotes


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9 hours ago, Skipper Duke said:

Season 3 The Legacy

Boss Hogg & Lucinda Meadows drink a toast to the old days.

Cletus:"Cousin Boss. Do you mind if I drink a toast to the old days with y'all?"

Boss Hogg:"Cletus, you weren't around in the old days! And I ain't to pleased to have you around in the new days neither!"

I laugh every time I hear that! 

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Season 3 The Hazzardville Horror.

Bo:"Look at all that smoke! What do you suppose it is they're burnin'?"

Luke:"Well, you can bet it ain't oil. My guess is, they're cookin' up Boss's silver."

Bo:"Oh great! If they do that, there ain't gonna be no way we can prove we didn't steal it."

Luke:"Yer real sharp! There is a way though. If we could stop 'em!"

Bo:"Hey! You asked for it!"(Flips on the siren)

Billy Joe Billings:"PA, the fuzz is after us! We ain't got no more time fer that! Tuck it in PA!"

Claude Billings:"I need more time! This ain't Chicken Gumbo I'm makin'!"

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Season 3 The Legacy 

Luke:"This road's gettin' as crowded as the Indianapolis 500!"

Bo:"Haha!"

Uncle Jesse:"Haha!"

Lucinda Meadows:"Get over!"

Bo:"That joker that's tryin' to pass us is liable to sprout wings if he hits Deadman's Curve better than 20 miles an hour!"

Lucinda:"Get over! Get over!"

Bo:"That lady's in trouble. You better speed up Luke!"

Luke:"You got it!"

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Season 5 The New Dukes

Daisy:"You know, Uncle Jesse. After 6 years, I don't think I'm gonna even recognize my own cousins."

Uncle Jesse:"Oh. I think you'll recognize 'em." A car is heard, it comes flying thru the air over the Duke Farm.

Coy & Vance:"Yeehaw!" The car lands.

Uncle Jesse:"Now, do you recognize 'em?"

Daisy:"Haha!"

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Season 4 Dukescam Scam

Judge Potts:"Shut up Sheriff!"

Cletus:"Shut up Rosco!"

Rosco"Cletus, just because yer the bailiff, that don't give you the right to call me Rosco, an' to tell me to shut up!"

Judge Potts:"Well, I got the right Sheriff! An' I said "Shut up!"

Rosco:"Oh! Well, that's different!"

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Season 5 The Hazzardgate Tape. In Hazzard Square at Boss Hogg's house, Coy Vance and Boss in the General Lee chase the bad guys. Daisy and Uncle Jesse are in his truck. The bad guys and General Lee are long gone. Uncle Jesse becomes increasingly frustrated at the not wanting to start truck and hits it on the steering wheel "Dang blasted it, you truck!"

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Season 5 Lawman of the Year.

Waylon Jennings:"The men around Hazzard take pride in their cookin', their women and their cars. An' Ol' Coy an' Vance Duke are about the best drivers around. They have to be to keep up with Daisy. A real double threat. An' she can cook too."

Daisy:"Hey! What's with you fellas? I thought you were supposed to give me some competition."

Coy:"We're just takin' it easy on you little cuz. Wait til we get back on level ground."

Waylon Jennings:"Now where's he gonna find that in Hazzard?"

Daisy:"Yeah yeah! Well, you remember there's a yellow flag on Old Mill Road. An' remember our bet fellas! Winner cooks breakfast an' does dishes fer a week! Yahoo!"

Waylon Jennings:"Them boys better get movin'. They cook bad!" Daisy gets caught by Rosco in a speed trap.

Waylon Jennings:"How some ever, I got a feeling that there ain't nobody gonna win this race."

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Season 7 The Haunting of J. D. Hogg

Luke:"Hey Bo. You think that new bridge is finished over at Baker Creek?"

Bo:"Probably not. It takes county funds to fix it."

Uncle Jesse:"Now just a minute. Are you boys thinkin' what I think yer thinkin'? I don't wanna go flyin' in this car!"

Bo:"We don't neither Uncle Jesse. But we're here now. Hang on!"

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Season 7 Sittin' Dukes. Sheriff Little interrogating Daisy Duke & Uncle Jesse Duke.

Sheriff Little:"Now, are you two gonna talk, or am I gonna have to spend the rest of the day grillin' ya, huh?"

Boss Hogg:"Please don't mention that word grill! It reminds me of hotdogs an' Frankfurters at a barbecue!" Boss Hogg was dieting and not allowed to eat anything like that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Season 6 Boss Behind Bars

Sledge Beaudry:"Why don't we fight 'em PA? Why are we runnin' away?"

PA Beaudry:"Yer forgettin' our booby traps boy. Yeah, I'm gonna lead them there Duke Boys right on into 'em. Hehehe! An' that'll be the end of them!"

Sledge Beaudry:"Hehehe!"

Bo:"What do you think they're slowin' down for?"

Luke:"I don't know! But keep a sharp look out." General Lee runs over a string, a tree falls blocking the road.

Bo:"Go around!" Luke goes around.

Luke:"Dang it! That's why they were slowin' down. They was leadin' us right into a revenuer trap."

Bo:"Yeah. I bet they're tryin' to lead us into another one."

Luke:"We gotta spot it before they get us there!"

PA Beaudry:"Awe! Dat blasted! Well, this here next one, we're gonna be gettin' 'em fer sure!"

Bo:"Looks to me like they're tryin' to head fer that clump of Spruce."

Luke:"The minute he veers offline, we take him."

Bo:"Ready? Now!"

PA Beaudry:"Get outta my way! No! Noooo!" The trap catches the Beaudries.

Bo:"Well, lookie there Luke! It looks like the Beaudries trap done caught them!"

Luke:"Yep!"

Milo Beaudry:"Where are we PA?"

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Season 6 Boss Behind Bars

Waylon Jennings:"They're about to run into a clue. Uh actually it nearly run into them."

PA Beaudry:"There's them dat burn Duke Boys again!"

Luke:"Hang on!

PA Beaudry:"Come on, get us on outta here, Sledge!"

Big:"It's those dang Beaudries!"

Luke:"I had enough of this!"

PA Beaudry:"Come on, put it on down there!"

Bo:"Did you see what them Beaudries had in the back of their truck? Looked a lot like a still to me."

Luke:"Dollars to donuts, they ripped somebody off. You know, the way this road curves around, if we jump the creek, we can cut 'em off."

Bo:"Well, what're you waitin' for? Let's go!"

Milo Beaudry:"Where are they goin' PA?"

PA Beaudry:"I don't know! But, them there Duke Boys is sure up to somethin'!" 

Luke:"Hang on!" The General Lee hits the ramp flies into the air. PA Beaudry aims his shotgun out the passenger window of the truck, and fires. He hits the Duke Boys radiator.

Bo:"We been hit Luke!"

Waylon Jennings:"I don't care where yer from. That's a sight you just don't see very often."

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Season 3 Mrs. Rosco P. Coltrane 

Mama Coltrane:"Greetings Cletus!"

Cletus:"Hi Mrs. Coltrane!"

Mama Coltrane:"Have you seen my son?"

Cletus:"He's in his office."

Mama Coltrane:"That child has gotten to be a caution to live with lately. He's been moonin' about the house, an' not eatin' proper like."

Cletus:"What's a mother to do?"

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PlayStation 2 and Xbox video game Return of the General Lee

Luke Duke:"Read it an' weep Boss. An official entry form, stamped an' everything."

Boss Hogg:"Even if you win, it still ain't enough to buy back that orphanage! You lose!"

Luke Duke:"I think yer forgettin' somethin' Boss."

Boss Hogg:"An' what's that?"

Luke Duke:"After we win, we get interviewed live on TV."

Boss Hogg:"But you ain't never won a race against my Double Zero! It's a got a nitrous oxide system, not some moonshine gas! Hehehe! See you from the winner's circle boys!"

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PlayStation 2 and Xbox video game Return of the General Lee

Luke Duke:"Read it an' weep Boss. An official entry form, stamped an' everything."

Boss Hogg:"Even if you win, it still ain't enough to buy back that orphanage! You lose!"

Luke Duke:"I think yer forgettin' somethin' Boss."

Boss Hogg:"An' what's that?"

Luke Duke:"After we win, we get interviewed live on TV."

Boss Hogg:"But you ain't never won a race against my Double Zero! It's a got a nitrous oxide system, not some moonshine gas! Hehehe! See you from the winner's circle boys!"

Bo:"Ain't nothin' stopped us before."

Balladeer:"Except that cup of coffee." (Reference to earlier on the game when Rosco put decaf with 2 sugars in the gas tank. Stopping the Dukes from winning First place in the Stock Car Race.)

Boss Hogg:"If them Duke Boys win, I'm ruined! An' when I say "I" I mean you! Git it!?"

Rosco:"Yes sir Boss! Yes sir! You betcha!"

Edited by Skipper Duke
This is the whole scene.
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