Dukes of Hazzard Paraphrasing/Inaccurate Quotes

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 Uncle Boss(Filmed in Season 2.)

Daisy:(About Hughie Hogg.)"Uncle Jesse, a snake that sheds its skin is still a snake."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 The Legacy

Boss Hogg & Lucinda Meadows drink a toast to the old days.

Cletus:"Cousin Boss. Do you mind if I drink a toast to the old days with y'all?"

Boss Hogg:"Cletus, you weren't around in the old days! And I ain't to pleased to have you around in the new days neither!"

[RogerDuke]

9 hours ago, Skipper Duke said:

Season 3 The Legacy

Boss Hogg & Lucinda Meadows drink a toast to the old days.

Cletus:"Cousin Boss. Do you mind if I drink a toast to the old days with y'all?"

Boss Hogg:"Cletus, you weren't around in the old days! And I ain't to pleased to have you around in the new days neither!"

I laugh every time I hear that! 

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 The Hazzardville Horror.

Bo:"Look at all that smoke! What do you suppose it is they're burnin'?"

Luke:"Well, you can bet it ain't oil. My guess is, they're cookin' up Boss's silver."

Bo:"Oh great! If they do that, there ain't gonna be no way we can prove we didn't steal it."

Luke:"Yer real sharp! There is a way though. If we could stop 'em!"

Bo:"Hey! You asked for it!"(Flips on the siren)

Billy Joe Billings:"PA, the fuzz is after us! We ain't got no more time fer that! Tuck it in PA!"

Claude Billings:"I need more time! This ain't Chicken Gumbo I'm makin'!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 4 Hughie Hogg Strikes Again. After Rosco runs him off the road and they both crash on opposite sides of the road trying get away from the other.

ATF Agent Roy Winters:"Every time I get mixed up with J. D. Hogg, I gotta double my auto insurance."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 The Legacy 

Luke:"This road's gettin' as crowded as the Indianapolis 500!"

Bo:"Haha!"

Uncle Jesse:"Haha!"

Lucinda Meadows:"Get over!"

Bo:"That joker that's tryin' to pass us is liable to sprout wings if he hits Deadman's Curve better than 20 miles an hour!"

Lucinda:"Get over! Get over!"

Bo:"That lady's in trouble. You better speed up Luke!"

Luke:"You got it!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 5 The New Dukes

Daisy:"You know, Uncle Jesse. After 6 years, I don't think I'm gonna even recognize my own cousins."

Uncle Jesse:"Oh. I think you'll recognize 'em." A car is heard, it comes flying thru the air over the Duke Farm.

Coy & Vance:"Yeehaw!" The car lands.

Uncle Jesse:"Now, do you recognize 'em?"

Daisy:"Haha!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 4 Dukescam Scam

Judge Potts:"Shut up Sheriff!"

Cletus:"Shut up Rosco!"

Rosco"Cletus, just because yer the bailiff, that don't give you the right to call me Rosco, an' to tell me to shut up!"

Judge Potts:"Well, I got the right Sheriff! An' I said "Shut up!"

Rosco:"Oh! Well, that's different!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 5 The Hazzardgate Tape. In Hazzard Square at Boss Hogg's house, Coy Vance and Boss in the General Lee chase the bad guys. Daisy and Uncle Jesse are in his truck. The bad guys and General Lee are long gone. Uncle Jesse becomes increasingly frustrated at the not wanting to start truck and hits it on the steering wheel "Dang blasted it, you truck!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 5 Vance's Lady 

Vance:"Now what? We're not goin' over 55."

Coy:"Since when did a Sheriff's car in Hazzard go by the rules?"

Vance:"Yer right cuz. It don't rightly seem fair that they shouldn't an' we should."

Both boys:"Hahaha."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 5 Lawman of the Year.

Waylon Jennings:"The men around Hazzard take pride in their cookin', their women and their cars. An' Ol' Coy an' Vance Duke are about the best drivers around. They have to be to keep up with Daisy. A real double threat. An' she can cook too."

Daisy:"Hey! What's with you fellas? I thought you were supposed to give me some competition."

Coy:"We're just takin' it easy on you little cuz. Wait til we get back on level ground."

Waylon Jennings:"Now where's he gonna find that in Hazzard?"

Daisy:"Yeah yeah! Well, you remember there's a yellow flag on Old Mill Road. An' remember our bet fellas! Winner cooks breakfast an' does dishes fer a week! Yahoo!"

Waylon Jennings:"Them boys better get movin'. They cook bad!" Daisy gets caught by Rosco in a speed trap.

Waylon Jennings:"How some ever, I got a feeling that there ain't nobody gonna win this race."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 7 The Haunting of J. D. Hogg

Luke:"Hey Bo. You think that new bridge is finished over at Baker Creek?"

Bo:"Probably not. It takes county funds to fix it."

Uncle Jesse:"Now just a minute. Are you boys thinkin' what I think yer thinkin'? I don't wanna go flyin' in this car!"

Bo:"We don't neither Uncle Jesse. But we're here now. Hang on!"

[RogerDuke]

On 10/26/2024 at 5:46 AM, Skipper Duke said:

Season 7 The Haunting of J. D. Hogg

 

Just in time for Halloween. 

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 And in This Corner, Luke Duke. When Luke and Boss Hogg argue about the mirror and how to square it. Because it was off center.

Luke:"All you gotta do is lift up the right hand side Boss!"

Boss:"If you wanna lift it up, do it yourself!"

Luke:"Alrighty!" (Fixes mirror.)"No problem!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 The Late J. D. Hogg

The mail thieves transfer from the hijacked mail van truck into Charlie Watkins car.

Waylon Jennings:"So, the mail thieves made a transfer into ol' Charlie Watkins car. And the Dukes farm went with it."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 The Great Santa Claus Chase 

Waylon Jennings:"Rosco was fire wallin' that commandeered car, an' that poor old dude figured he would never see Christmas. An' with Bo an' Luke runnin' like a scalded cat, they never even noticed what laid ahead."

 

[Skipper Duke]

Season 7 Sittin' Dukes. Sheriff Little interrogating Daisy Duke & Uncle Jesse Duke.

Sheriff Little:"Now, are you two gonna talk, or am I gonna have to spend the rest of the day grillin' ya, huh?"

Boss Hogg:"Please don't mention that word grill! It reminds me of hotdogs an' Frankfurters at a barbecue!" Boss Hogg was dieting and not allowed to eat anything like that.

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 The Canterbury Crock

Boss and Rosco driving the General Lee

Boss Hogg:"Do you know how to drive this!?"

Rosco:"Listen, I'm good! I'm good!"

Boss:"Yeah? Well, you ain't doin' as good as the Duke Boys do!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 Boss Behind Bars

Sledge Beaudry:"Why don't we fight 'em PA? Why are we runnin' away?"

PA Beaudry:"Yer forgettin' our booby traps boy. Yeah, I'm gonna lead them there Duke Boys right on into 'em. Hehehe! An' that'll be the end of them!"

Sledge Beaudry:"Hehehe!"

Bo:"What do you think they're slowin' down for?"

Luke:"I don't know! But keep a sharp look out." General Lee runs over a string, a tree falls blocking the road.

Bo:"Go around!" Luke goes around.

Luke:"Dang it! That's why they were slowin' down. They was leadin' us right into a revenuer trap."

Bo:"Yeah. I bet they're tryin' to lead us into another one."

Luke:"We gotta spot it before they get us there!"

PA Beaudry:"Awe! Dat blasted! Well, this here next one, we're gonna be gettin' 'em fer sure!"

Bo:"Looks to me like they're tryin' to head fer that clump of Spruce."

Luke:"The minute he veers offline, we take him."

Bo:"Ready? Now!"

PA Beaudry:"Get outta my way! No! Noooo!" The trap catches the Beaudries.

Bo:"Well, lookie there Luke! It looks like the Beaudries trap done caught them!"

Luke:"Yep!"

Milo Beaudry:"Where are we PA?"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 Boss Behind Bars

Waylon Jennings:"They're about to run into a clue. Uh actually it nearly run into them."

PA Beaudry:"There's them dat burn Duke Boys again!"

Luke:"Hang on!

PA Beaudry:"Come on, get us on outta here, Sledge!"

Big:"It's those dang Beaudries!"

Luke:"I had enough of this!"

PA Beaudry:"Come on, put it on down there!"

Bo:"Did you see what them Beaudries had in the back of their truck? Looked a lot like a still to me."

Luke:"Dollars to donuts, they ripped somebody off. You know, the way this road curves around, if we jump the creek, we can cut 'em off."

Bo:"Well, what're you waitin' for? Let's go!"

Milo Beaudry:"Where are they goin' PA?"

PA Beaudry:"I don't know! But, them there Duke Boys is sure up to somethin'!" 

Luke:"Hang on!" The General Lee hits the ramp flies into the air. PA Beaudry aims his shotgun out the passenger window of the truck, and fires. He hits the Duke Boys radiator.

Bo:"We been hit Luke!"

Waylon Jennings:"I don't care where yer from. That's a sight you just don't see very often."