Brian Coltrane

Nah, Alex, you look more like a Yorkshire Terrier. See?

Awright, awright, I take back the remark about the distemper shot. But hey, you can always stuff Alex into a dog crate. He likes it.

Well, it beats Doc's threat, she was going to take me to the vet to be neutered. Your deal's better. But I'm kinda fond of that water bowl.

You sound like you could use a booster shot for distemper. What's next, MaryAnne, you gonna bite the mailman?

Waaaaaait a minute, how is it that I end up in the dog house? I posted a perfectly innocent announcement that I was gonna write a story, and then everybody else sent this thang south. I can't help it if people around here don't know how to behave. And besides, lemme ree-iterate that this is Mufn's fault anyway for coming up with the topic! Didja really think for a minute that "Dog Collar Challenge" wouldn't be an invitation to debauchery?

If you want to slap Daney, go right ahead! Beat my guest.

Well, c'mon, this is a family audience, I couldn't just type "breathy moans of passion."

NickToons

Oh, hell yeah. And just try to imagine the happy little noises I'd make too. AHEM! Meanwhile, I'd better try and behave. Then again, I could blame this whole thread on Mufn, as the dog collar challenge was her idea.

A spy camera built into a dog collar, no less. Have you been drinking anti-freeze again?

Maybe this answers that....

Yiii ! Yiii ! Yiii ! Yiii ! Keep that rolled-up newspaper away from me.

Alex, that's not a very flattering mental picture of MaryAnne. Are you trying to get yourself shot?

Doc! I didn't realize you were back in town! I was just...uh...gettin' aquainted with a new member of our friendly community. Ya know, the usual warm welcome. Despite the dog collar jokes I can assure ya that there wasn't any petting.

Oh sure, and it'll also have blinking red and blue lights and a siren. The only problem is, MaryAnne wouldn't be able to lift her head while wearing the thing.

BABY!!!! You keep talkin' like that, and I might sit up and beg....

Hey, don't take my word for it - ask anybody who's seen me in one.

Yeah, she might hound you over it.

Ya know, if MaryAnne wore a dog collar, she'd be her own K9 unit. Bahahahah!! Oh, and Tori? I look outrageously attractive in a dog collar. Try not to think about it. Brian

I can assure ya, no backups need be called in. This is just another harmless lil' outing. Honest! Besides, you have excellent insurance. I tried finding a replacement for you years ago, but it sort of backfired with 40-to-1 odds against me. And then we have the response from the prior fanfic challenge to consider, which showed great support for Ye Olde Local Deputy. Really, it's not my fault you have a knack for getting yourself in hot water. You should thank me for pulling your posterior out of it through so many stories. Brian

Absolutely........not.

You're never gonna get over that firing squad scene, are ya. Gettin' a little sensitive these days, cousin? The good news is, this ain't a western! You're perfectly safe. For the most part.

Aw, I can't tell ya what it's about, or I'd spoil the story. But you can trust me to handle your character with all the usual care and delicacy that's made our adventures the idle sunday afternoon reading that we're famous for.