Brian Coltrane

Served live? No wonder they call it Gagh. I'm sure that's what'd I do. Anyhow, live long and...keep between the ditches? Khee! Actually, ah suppose it's time to fess up and admit this was just a lil' April Fool's jest. Not to say that we won't ever write such a script.... heh! Ya just nevah know. Brian

That's great news, Inga! Good article, too! Thank you for sharin' it here for all of us!

Just have to add an editorial here. If this rumor is true, it's a clever casting move, as it gives a nod to the Dukes' roots with country music. Dolly comes from the same country music generation as ol' Waylon Jennings, and Loretta Lynn, and Buck Owens. Dolly would also offer a mature balance to the young cast - just as Denver, Sorrell and Jimmie provided in the original show. Not to mention Dolly's appeal to an older demographic, further broadening the box office potential. I can also imagine Dolly portarying the God-fearing Southern sentiment that was expressed by Jesse Duke's character. For all of Dukes of Hazzard's hijinx, there was a moral set followed by the characters. The Dukes said grace at the table, said prayers for people, and spoke of the Lord. This wasn't religious activism; it was in keeping with the type of family and community the Dukes represented. That's enough opinion outta me. What about the rest of y'all??

More dirt as heard on the celebrity radio news gossip... Jessica Simpson is the "clear favorite" of the movie producers for the role of Daisy Duke. Jessica's "wholesome" and "southern" characteristics make her more of a natural fit for the role. (I'm just repeatin' it as I heard it.) However, Britney Spears claims that she was "promised" the role of Daisy Duke and reportedly issued a counter-claim that she has the part. She's not givin' this up without a fight, y'all. Now, for my own unfounded, unvalidated, Magic 8-Ball read on the whole mess. Given the stuff I've read from the Jessica Simpson articles, and the overall momentum she has in the media, I'd say she's got the role. But Warner Bros. has to let Britney down easy, and I don't think they've figured out how to do that yet. They may be looking for another project to offer Britney, in the odd chance any premature assurances were made. After all, there's no sense in alienating Britney fans. It's my mild opinion that Jessica is better for the role, based on her rapport with other cast members involved in the project. Jessica adds to the chemistry; Britney would distract from it. In any case, if this gig is going to hit production by May, WB has to reconcile the issue in the next few weeks. Right now, it's all in the "anything could happen" phase, but....that's Hazzard for ya.

Per all the dirt I've been able to dig, Jessica Simpson seems to have the Daisy Duke role all stitched up. There's been no official confirmation of this from WB, but I have a feeling it's because they're trying to find some other project to stuff Britney Spears into as a consolation prize. More on the Hazzard Catfight in the Britney vs. Jessica topic. Brian

No joke, y'all. This is a valid rumor. It's still a rumor, of course, but here's the tidbit: Jessica Simpson will take Dolly's part in a duet of "Islands In The Stream" with Kenny Rogers on her April 11 variety show special on ABC, VH1 reported on Monday. Other guests on The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour include Jewel, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Mr. T. and some of The Muppets. Read a story here. (It was supposedly at the recent taping of the show that Simpson allegedly let slip the news that Dolly will reportedly play her mother when she takes the role of Daisy Duke in a film version of The Dukes Of Hazzard, although that rumor still has yet to be independently confirmed.) The above article appears verbatim, as it was found on www.dollymania.net

"Make it two." Brian didn't say much as the drinks were delivered. He paid the bartender and swigged down his drink without preamble. He couldn't help but watch as Chance took a delicate sip from her own glass, her ruby-painted mouth leaving a slight imprint of lipstick around the rim. This could have fascinated Brian for several minutes, had it not been for the sudden appearance of the City of Atlanta Police Deparment. Four officers walked into the nightclub and began asking people questions. The bartender shook his head and shrugged, having been too busy to notice every face in attendance. But the buxom cocktail waitress Brian had been dancing with earlier was animated with converation. She remembered seeing a man who fit Rusty's description, and she remembered who he had been talking to. She pointed to Brian, and he looked up just in time to see the Atlanta cops giving him an interested stare. "Aw, hell." Brian reached down to the barstool for his jacket, and put it on casually, as if he was in no hurry. But his dark eyes held the look of a hunted animal. The officers milled through the crowd, two of them covering the exits while the other two wove through the dance floor towards their prey. Brian saw this from the corner of his eyes. He knew that half the customers in the bar could identify him from Hazzard. The question was, if they would aid is escape... "Doc," Brian muttered quietly, "I gotta get outta heah fast, or I'm gonna get sent up the river for Grand Theft Porno. Think you can create some kinda diversion?" (Cue Chance.....)

"Um....." Brian was working on an alibi, but it was too late. Rusty had returned from the alley, and this Syndicate friend was threading his way through the crowd towards them. The red-headed street thug walked up to Brian, heedless of the blonde woman in Brian's arms. Grinning, Rusty presented Diablo's keys back to Brian with a flourish. "It's all set!" Rusty beamed. "The trunk is packed. Oh, and I saved you some movies to keep for yourself, least I could do. Put 'em in the front seat for ya. There's "Carnal Chaos" and "Leather Forever" and....." Brian abruptly grabbed Rusty's jacket with one hand and hauled him roughly forward. "Rusty," Brian gritted, "Shaddap!!" Brian's dark eyes flicked sideways to Chance, and Rusty immediately understood. Smoothly, the Syndicate compatriot changed gears. "Oh! I see you're busy. I'd better get back to the Jigsaw anyway. Catch ya later, Bri." Rusty backed up as Brian released him, then turned and melted through the crowd. He could not resist, however, pausing near the bar to turn back and eye Brian's lady friend from halfway across the room. He gave her the once-over, then nodded to Brian with a wide grin. Rusty then completed his exit, looking smug. "@#%*,' Brian muttered to himself. Beside him, he felt Chance's close presence, and without looking at her, he knew she was giving him one of those I-know-everything smiles. Coincidence had a way of complicating his life, and tonight was no exception. He turned to her, clearing his throat and attempting to put the scene behind them. "So! About that drink...." ( cue Chance!)

Hope ya'll are havin' a safe n' rowdy St. Pat's ! Brian O' Coltrane

Somethin' I just gotta add here. Elsewhere the Forums, I made an offhand comment about Warner Bros possibly watching the Starsky and Hutch box office receipts to predict how the Dukes would do. This turned out to be a damn good guess. The very fate of the Dukes project seems to have been hanging on how Starsky and Hutch did in the theaters. Doesn't seem a fair comparison, as Dukes lasted more seasons, had more merchandising, and had two TV-movies, n' so on. But this is Hollywood, ya'll. I offer the article below for yer edification. It's several weeks old but worth the read. 'Dukes of Hazzard' Film Making Its Way Mon, Feb 09, 2004, 12:02 PM PT By Hanh Nguyen LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - The General Lee is revving its engine. The big-screen remake of the '80s series "Dukes of Hazzard" is patiently waiting in the Warner Bros. wings to see if it will get the green light. "Dukes" follows the adventures of Bo and Luke Duke, who like to drive fast and evade the law, namely the portly and frustrated Boss Hog and his handful of inept lawmen. John O'Brien, who wrote the project's first draft, couldn't divulge many details about the script, but did explain the delay. "Warner Bros. is waiting to see how 'Starsky & Hutch' does," O'Brien tells Zap2it.com at a San Fernando Valley bar on Saturday night (Feb. 7). O'Brien also helped write the "Starsky" screenplay, which is based on the '70s TV series about another blond and brunette duo who drive fast and engage in shenanigans. The film stars Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as the titular cops and Snoop Dogg as their informant Huggy Bear. O'Brien had also talked with "Dukes" fan Ashton Kutcher, but could not confirm any casting. The 25-year-old Kutcher had dressed up as the dark-haired Hazzard County scofflaw for Halloween one year, and has been sniffing around the project ever since. O'Brien has also written the Jet Li-starring "Cradle 2 the Grave" and did a rewrite of Warner Bros.' "Catwoman" starring Halle Berry. The studio is hoping to begin production on "Dukes" later this year. "Starsky" is scheduled to open nationwide on Friday, March 5. ( A postscript from yers truly - Starsky & Hutch box office receipts, accumilated through last weekend, were at $51,500,921. This, added to other info I've stumbled upon, says the light is green, the Dukes movie is a "go" and should be filming as early as next month or in May. That's not gospel, and that's not from WB, but hell, I can read the cards.) Ya'll are duly informed. 8) Brian

Jessica Simpson on Her Possible Film Slate Source: MTV Friday, March 5, 2004 MTV talked to "Newlyweds" star Jessica Simpson about the possibility she'll star in the big screen adaptations of The Dukes of Hazzard, I Dream of Jeannie and Marvel's Mort, the Dead Teenager. Simpson is first seeing if she can squeeze into Catherine Bach's hot pants in the movie remake of "Dukes of Hazzard." Ashton Kutcher and Paul Walker are currently favorites to play Bo and Luke Duke, says the channel "I would love to be Daisy Duke," Simpson said. "I think that would be so much fun, just to wear the shorts. I would get to have my own car. I think it would be a blast." Simpson recently met with producer Bill Gerber to discuss taking a part in the TV show adaptation. "The meeting just went really, really great, so we'll see. 'I Dream of Jeannie' is a little further behind, so the 'Dukes' will be first to go. I honestly don't know when I'll find out, but they start shooting in May or June, so let's keep our fingers crossed." (Note, there was more to this article, but the rest was unrelated to the Dukes movie project, so I edited for pertinent content. Fancy way of sayin', I'm too lazy to paste the whole thing. )

Man, I don't know what to think. I found info pointing to Jessica Simpson bein' the most-likely Daisy Duke...and then the next thing I read is giving Britney Spears billing for the role. At this point, I'll just be happy if they use a Dodge Charger to play the General Lee. Wouldn't surprise me if they used a "Fast and Furious" suped-up Honda and painted it orange, considerin' the casting so far.

In Theaters: Estimated for June 2005 Starring: Ashton Kutcher Paul Walker Britney Spears Anthony Anderson Genre: Action Synopsis: A big screen adaptation of the 1980s TV show. Studio: Warner Bros. ( The above info was obtained from videoeta.com and has not been cross-verified with any other sources, y'all. )

This is the most official-lookin' thing I can find on the subject. Source quoted at the bottom of article. Jessica Emerges As Favourite For Daisy Duke Role 2/27/2004 Britney Spears' hopes of playing Daisy Duke in the movie version of classic TV series Dukes of Hazzard have been seriously jeopardized - by fellow pop beauty Jessica Simpson. The sexy character, originally played by Catherine Bach, aroused the attention of hordes of fans with eye-catching hot pants and stomach-baring tied shirts. And now Simpson has emerged as the clear frontrunner in the race for the role, after meeting with bosses at film studio WAarner Brothers a few weeks ago. Producer Bill Gerber, who describes Simpson as "delightful", coos, "She's young, moral, bright, gorgeous and southern - everything that Daisy is." But the deal has yet to be sealed - Spears, Mandy Moore and Jessica Biel are also being mentioned for the part. ASshton Kutcher and Paul Walker are current favorites to play Bo and Luke Duke, but no moves will be made until a director comes on board, which is expected to be in a matter of weeks." Copyright ©2004 TeenHollywood.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved.