Skipper Duke

(Season 1 Double Sting) Bo Duke:"You gotta tell me one thing! How'd you fake the plague?" Tom Colt:(Laughing.)"That was simple! I'm allergic to Poison Ivy right?" Bo Duke:"Yeah!" Tom Colt:"So when I get in jail, I just peel back the tape and expose the Poison Ivy. Then I get the rash, the swelling, I even get a fever. Then, I fake all the other symptoms of the plague, like delirium, crampin', all that sort of stuff you know? An' then, man, it looks good, really good! Just like the plague! It was beautiful, really beautiful! Anyway, do you realize that there ain't no doctor ever seen a case of the plague in this part of the country?"(Tom Colt who was sitting down, got up to go stand behind Bo and Luke while explaining about faking the plague. He sneaks away to the General Lee, while he was standing behind Bo and Luke who are still sitting down on the creek shore.) Bo Duke:"Gosh, it sure is gonna be somethin' to work with a real professional!" Luke Duke:"You figure we can ever be that good?" Bo Duke:"I don't know. It's gonna take a lot of-"(General Lee starts up. Bo and Luke run to it trying to stop Tom Colt from stealing it and leaving them stranded. He escapes, in a cloud of dust, just as they get there.) Waylon Jennings:"Y'all realize they ain't no closer to Daisy than they were in jail!"

(Season 2 Days of Shine and Roses)Boss finds out Rosco failed in his mission to sabotage Uncle Jesse's moonshine race car Black Tillie II. Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg:"Rosco! The next time you sabotage a car, make sure it's mine! That way, it'll run forever!" Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:"Well, what I should've done is put sugar in that gas tank instead of water!" Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg:"Not if you would've used the water on your brain! If it's thick enough to clog your head, just think of what it would've done to Jesse's car!"

(Season 2) Days of Shine and Roses Rosco is working on a crossword puzzle. Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:"Hey Boss? What's a five letter word fer dunce?" Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg:"R. O. S. C. O.!" Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:"Ooh ooh it fits! It fits!"(Realizing Boss Hogg has picked on him.)"It jit jit ooh!"

(Season 1 Repo Men) Rosco:"Well, I ain't to crazy about the idea Boss. I mean, what is it exactly that we're framin' the Duke Boys for?" Boss Hogg:"It ain't "we" Rosco! It's more like you! Those Duke Boys settin' a very dangerous example for the other folks here about, they'll get everybody thinkin' that the duly constituted authority in Hazzard County -" Rosco:"Namely you-" Boss Hogg:"Namely me can be cut sassed an' crossed! I want those boys behind bars!" Rosco:"Well, I'll throw 'em in jail! I'll throw 'em in jail fer the whole weekend! That way, they can't race on Saturday! That'll just break their redneck hearts! Kew Kew!" Boss Hogg:"I'm talkin' prison! 2 years fer breakin' probation!" Rosco:"Well Boss, I wouldn't exactly call that breakin' probation you know. It's not as if they're runnin' 'shine or out there poachin' them little deers!" Boss Hogg:"Rosco, you better get creative, or else you will be-" Rosco:"The night watch rent-a-cop at the drive-in deli on Frontage RD.!" Boss Hogg:"Bingo!"

(Season 1 Double Sting) Luke Duke:"I'm tellin' ya Bo! I got a close up look at it, an' it's the same car!" Bo Duke:"So I suppose yer gonna tell me he's in here right?" Waylon Jennings:"Now, you start with a little bumpin' on a Hazzard County road, then go to the Boars Nest, add a stranger or two that look like they're up to no good, a lot of spice, mix in a little sugar, an' watch out." Daisy Duke:"What'd he look like?" Luke Duke:"He looked mean-" Bo Duke:"An' ugly." Daisy Duke:"That covers just about everybody in here, except me!" Luke Duke:"Well, I'd know him if I saw him again." Daisy Duke:"Good luck. Hey, are y'all goin' to the costume dance party Saturday?" Bo Duke:"Daisy, we ain't got time fer that, we gotta race." Daisy Duke:"It's the biggest dance all year, fellas!" Luke Duke:"It's the only dance all year!" Daisy Duke:"Wait 'til you see what I'm wearin'. I'm goin' as a circus bareback rider!" Tom Colt:"Hey baby! I'd like to be yer horse!" Daisy Duke:"Ok sugar! Soon as I find the front end!" Tom Colt:"I don't take no dirt from a bar maid!" Bo Duke:"Ain't that him?" Luke Duke:"That's him!" A bar room brawl erupts into major chaos.

(Season 1 Double Sting) Luke Duke:"It looks like Rosco's gonna give us a hand here!" Sheriff Emitt Ragsdale:"What kind of untrained -?"(Rosco causes him to flip his car over.) Deputy Enos Strate:"Sheriff, did you see that!?" Sheriff Emitt Ragsdale:(Gets out of car.)"Coltrane, your driving is sub standard!" Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:(So only him and Enos hear.)"I didn't turn over!" Deputy Enos Strate:"You reckon we oughta help the Sheriff?" Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:"He ain't hurt! Turn off the lights!" Deputy Enos Strate:"Yessir!"

Waylon Jennings in his last major interview conducted by CMT(Country Music Television) shortly before his death on February 13, 2002. "If you got an idea, try it you know. That's what we're all about anyway. An' music, if you start puttin' limits on music, that's it. You might as well take it to the house."

(Season 1 Luke's Love Story.) Bo, Cooter and Uncle Jesse talking about Cooter being a crasher in the upcoming Hazzard County Obstacle Derby race. Bo:"You are gonna be a crasher fer Boss!?" Cooter:"I ain't got no choice y'all! Rosco's gonna sell my truck to pay off my tickets, if not, he's gonna put me under the jail!" Bo and Jesse laugh. Cooter:"You ain't mad?" Bo:"Old Boss sure has outfoxed himself this time, huh? Cooter, yer gonna put on a phony show for 'im." Cooter:"I am?" Uncle Jesse:"Yeah. You see, now that we know about it, you an' Luke can just bump each other once in awhile, an' the Boss will think yer runnin' a dishonest race an' doin' yer job!" Bo, Cooter and Uncle Jesse laugh. Bo and Cooter high five. Now they talk about Amy Creavy's ex mechanic/boyfriend Turk. Turk likes putting nitrous oxide in cars getting drivers disqualified. Francis Lee Olmstead(Frankie for short):"I wish we could handle Turk that easily." Bo:"Well don't worry about. We will, when we find him." Frankie:"Find Turk? You don't find Turk! Turk finds you!"

(Season 4 The Haunted House) Andy:"Oh he probably just stepped in a closet or somethin'." Barney:"Where you been!?" Gomer:"I must've stepped in a closet or somethin'." Andy:"See." Gomer:"It sure was a funny closet. I never would've found my way out again, if you hadn't gave me that push." Barney:"I didn't push you." Gomer:"Well, somebody or somethin' did."

Rescue From Gilligan's Island(1978) Skipper:"What seems to be the problem, Professor?" Professor:"Well, it's not fitting for some reason." Gilligan:"I bet I can make it fit! Give me a boost Skipper!" Skipper:"Certainly Little Buddy! Just put your foot in my hand and-"(Pushes Gilligan up so he can make the pole fit that's been giving Skipper and Professor all the problems.) Gilligan:"Whoa!"(Crashes thru hut roof.)"I think you got me a little to high Skipper!" Skipper:"Gilligan! You come down from there this minute!"

(Season 4 The Haunted House) Barney Fife:"Gomer!? Gomer!? Gome!? Andy! Andy! Gomer's gone! He was here one minute an' gone the next! Now do you believe me about this place!? Somethin' terrible happened to Gomer!"

(Season 1 Limo One is Missing) Rosco and Enos almost collide into each other's car. Rosco:"You dumb dipstick! What're you tryin' to do?! Give me bodily injury!? Alright, where is she!? Did you let 'er go!?" Enos:"I didn't mean to Sheriff. I don't know where she went." Rosco:"Hush! Hush! Don't talk back to me while I'm yellin' at you!"

Wow!

Titanic fans... I just found out, Bernard Hill(Captain Smith) died at 79 years old.

Did anyone else catch the Mistake/Blooper in the end of the Season 4 episode Double Dukes? When the real General Lee makes the fake General Lee flip over in the 5 count from Bo, the fake loses it's mirror off the driver's door. But when it's on the fork lift at Cooter's Garage, being hauled away, the mirror is back on it.

Roger... The answer to yours is Denver Pyle(Uncle Jesse)and Sorrell Booke(Boss Hogg). Buck and Mickey held up a church Bingo game over in Greenville, and picked Hazzard County to hide in.

Roger... You are correct. Clown car.

Curt yeah.

Dukes Trivia: What did Avery Schreiber(Wendell)the bank robber call the General Lee in Double Sting?

(Season 1 Double Sting) Wendell:"You're supposed to be in jail 'til tomorrow! Can't anybody anything right!?" Tom Colt:"Boss, I ran into some trouble back there!" Wendell:"What happened?" Daisy Duke:"You poor man! That's a terrible case of Poison Ivy!" Tom Colt:"You see? An' it didn't work in jail either. Some hillbillies spotted me." Wendell:"Where's your car?" Tom Colt:"I had to make a getaway in this thing! Hey, isn't that the girl from the bar?" Irving:"She belongs to me! Look, dummy! Are we supposed to sneak out of here in an orange stock car with a big number one on the side, an' a Confederate flag on the roof!?" Tom Colt:"Look, little man! It'll be a whole lot easier than tryin' to hide her!" Wendell:"Imbiciles! It was a very simple plan. These 2 idiots couldn't follow instructions on a cereal box!" Daisy Duke:"Y'all don't git along very well, do you?" Wendell:"No young lady, we don't!" Tom Colt:"I wanna see the money!" Daisy Duke:"I think you should see about gettin' some Calamine Lotion on that Poison Ivy." Wendell:"Git her inside! Because of your stupidity, we're gonna have to dump that RV truck, an' escape in that clown car!"

Wow.

Cousin Spike really? The government did that?

Mom's a fan of Western series and movies. She watches reruns Gunsmoke, Bonanza etc. I told her "Better enjoy while you can, before political Correctness gets them taken off the air. For some stupid reason, they'll claim for making fun of the Indians or something."

Opera

Skull(A nickname for Moonshine is Old Pop Skull)