Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Come back here! I saw that you sumb****! You did that on purpose! You'll go away 'til your gray! I got the evidence! I'm gonna barbecue your a** in Molasses!" To Jr. "Put the evidence in the car!" Jr.:"But daddy-" Sheriff Buford T. Justice:"Put the evidence in the car! Put the evidence in the back! I said it before, and I'll say it again, there is no way, no way that you could come from my loins! The first I'm gonna do when I get home, is punch your momma in the mouth!"
(Season 1 Goodbye, Island)
Skipper:"Gilligan! Don't you realize, that if the Professor hadn't thought of using Mrs. Howell's perfume to dissolve this glue, you'd still have us stuck to the boat!?" Gilligan:"Yeah! You still smell pretty Skipper!" Skipper:"Doh!"