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Brian Coltrane

Great Utterances from Rosco P. Coltrane

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(as he's writing a ticket up for the Duke boys)

"Destroying county property. Resisting arrest. Speeding, and uh uh oh-" (he looks into the General and sees the boys butt naked except for their cowboy boots) " and indescent exposure..." :lol: hahaha. I started crackin up. lol.

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In "Dukes in Danger"

(After Rosco dropped chains on Cletus's head and then Cletus threw them on Rosco's foot)

Rosco: This is sheriff Roscooooo P. oooo Coltrane.

Boss: Where the devil are you? You sound like your in a boiling hot bath tub.


Boss: Never mind you just get yourself to the Duke Farm on the double.

later on....

Rosco: Cletus you just get in your ve-hicle and head to town and stay away from my ve-hicle!

(Rosco getting into his patrol car)

(Rosco to Cletus) I hate you!

Cletus: That's not nice. :D:D:D

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In Dukescam Scam:

Boss:Bring me food every three hours on the dot starting with a big plate of my favorite, raw liver.

Rosco: Raw liver

Boss: I sure got a craving for it, can't get enough of it these days. Rosco I'm going to celebrate with raw liver!!!

Rosco: With raw liver!!! Raw liver......blek!!

I loved that!!!! :D:D:D

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From Baby for the Dukes

Boss shows Rosco and Enos all the cars they wrecked.

Enos: See that one on the end? That one's yours Sherriff.

Rosco: It's all Enos's fault.

Enos: Pardon me Sherriff, but it takes two to tango!

Rosco's been apprehended by the snooty city slicker and decides to give the Dukes a warning that they're being followed.

Rosco: Oooh, there's that chicken hawk. That's the one that's been killing all them chickens! <BANG> <BANG>

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I just watched Cletus Falls in Love and I loved the line that Rosco says to

Flash as the Dukes come barreling down the road with a bag of bank money in the middle of it.

"I know that this is hard, but try to look alive"

I love it, I love it.

And I always felt bad for Rosco when ever he would take 50% of 50% of 50%. Even with my poor math skills I knew that was a baaad deal.

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From High Octane

Boss: Rosco, we're gonna have an alternative to fossil fuels! And don't ask me what kind of fuel fossils run on.

Then as Rosco leaves the building.

Rosco: What is "it"? Who's "he"? What kind of fuel do fossils run on?

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Enos! this is your superior officer Rosco P. Conltrane

Oh I'm in Hot Pursuit

I Love it ! I love it

Oh that was a *horrendous* crash

I'm gonna cuff ya an' stuff ya

Ya dun scuffed my ve-hichle

Jumpin Jehoshaphat

Shame, Shame, everybody knows your name

Enos, you dipstick

Cletus, you dipstick

Buckle up for Safety

10-4 Little Fat Buddy

That Smarts

Judas Priest on a Pony

Enos, do you know what one casket said to the other is that you coffin

Will you hush

That's teargas

Here they come

Come into my parlor said the spider to the bee

Whip out your weapon

Enos, They're heading for the Kissin' Cliff

Enos, You head for Black tar road and try to cut them off

Hey, wait

Come back here

They got my keys, and got your car! Why did you leave the keys in your car for?

Don't try to blame me

Look at that

Boss, you got your ears on? come on? Not exactly Boss. Come back We're burning rubber . Over and out

Enos, after me

And there they go

That was thrilling. It was a good thing that I was driving Boss

Left? Right

I did scuff it a little didn't I?

Well, I'll just

No, I just knocked the front bumper off a little

That's smart, cheif

There they go and here I come

Enos, will you hush

That's Flash I got a good deal on him

I got him from Police Gazette Magaine

I'll tell you one thing, Boss, he can smell a crook about a mile off

He said name one we don't need the whole history of Hazzard County


You will snap, and snarl, and bite

And What word would you like? Hockeypuck? Butterfingers? or just plain old dipstick

Flash, you've got your own crime wave of fleas going here

No, wait a minute, Enos

Cletus Hogg? he is stupid. I mean, even the dipsticks call him a dipstick

Don't you do that Enos!

Enos, come back here!

They're serious about that, ain't they?

Flash, everybody's a dipstick except you and me, I guess


Put you paw on the brake!

Get your foot on the brake!

You're gonna crush me

Flash, it's gonna to hit the tree!

You all right, Flash?

Flash you are a lousy driver

At least you're wearing your seatbelt

Turn out the lights will you?

I'm going down with the ship

Say Hello from Rosco

Enos your sittin on my foot

So's your brain, now you match on both ends!

Don't try to blame me!!!!

Enos...Enos Strate, what are doing here?

Now Boss, you owe me

I'm not that type of girl

If brains were gunpowder, Enos couldn't blow his nose

Now Mama always said that Enos would find a wife before I do!

Get your hands off me, you quack!

Good news, Good news

Tiddly Tuddly

Boss: Rosco you Jackass!

Rosco: That's SHERIFF Jackass to you!

Rosco: That was a horrendous Rolly-Coaster ride

That put a quiver in my liver

There's a flaw in the slaw

Rosco {To Uncle Jesse} I'm not that type of girl

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From Brotherly Love after Rosco and Boss meet Lukes Brother Jud Cane.

Rosco: "Those Duke Boys were lying they were. Lying just like a tombstone. Than man was no more Like Dukes brother than I am second cousin to a jackass.

Boss: "Well yea he is and you are."

While dancing with Boss holding a rose in his mouth.

"Your scuffing my fern"

From A Baby For the Dukes

After Boss rode back with Rosco on the horse.

"Oh your little Hoggonomics, are they tender?"

From Goodbye General Lee

Talking about the General Lee to the hired drivers at the Drag 'N Fly.

Rosco: " I'll Tell you one thing, that General Lee's about half-human."

Boss: "That's right. And each of them Duke boys was born with a silver gass peddle in his mouth."

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