quotes Favorite Dukes of Hazzard Quotes

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 2 Jude Emery)

Bo Duke:"Say Willie, when did you get outta jail son?" Luke Duke:"Oh he had to go to jail Bo. It was the only way he could see his momma!" Willie:"He he. How come y'all ain't home choppin' cotton?"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 2 Jude Emery)

Waylon Jennings:"I want y'all to watch some slick shuckin'. First you see Luke, and now you don't." Bo Duke:"Now Luke, I told you old Willie would be lookin' the wrong way again!" Luke Duke:"No wonder he can't handle it when a car's on his tail!" Waylon Jennings:"Ain't them boys slick?"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Ten Million Dollar Sheriff)

Waylon Jennings:"That bounty hunter didn't waste no time before testin' the boys. An' his first move was pretty slick, fer a city boy." Luke Duke:"Hey! Are you crazy?!" Bo Duke:"You know Luke, I think he did that deliberate." Luke Duke:"Yeah. Well, I guess it's time to show him there ain't no room fer hot an' run drivers in Hazzard." Bo Duke:"Yeah-hoo! Git 'im Luke!" Waylon Jennings:"Ya see, Bo an' Luke because of their probation ain't supposed to leave Hazzard without permission. An' bein' chased by a bounty man don't come close to bein' permission." Jason Steele:"John Law from you-know-who. You ready to go fishin'?" Sheriff Little:"Oh, if I could find me a couple of suckers worth catchin'." Jason Steele:"It's all part of the plan, I'm baitin' the hook now. They cross that state line, you reel 'em in." Sheriff Little:"That's a big 10-4." Luke Duke:"Fairly matter, I'm just gettin' warned up." Bo Duke:"Luke, the county line!!" Waylon Jennings:"If they cross that line, it's goodbye to the ladies, an' hello six months hard time!" Bo Duke:"That was close! Another couple feet we'd have been across the county line." Luke Duke:"With the Chickasaw Sheriff waitin' for us. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that hit an' run driver was tryin' to bait us. Tryin' to make us break our probation."

[Skipper Duke]

(Rosco & Enos playing cards in Season 2 Dukes Meet Cale Yarborough)

Rosco:"You got a jack?" Enos:"No sir. Go fish!" Rosco:"Enos, you don't go fish in Rummy, you dummy!"

[Skipper Duke]

(The Dukes of Hazzard Soundtrack album Good Ol' Boys)
Boss Hogg:"Howdy folks. My name is Hogg. J. D. Hogg that is. Uh. Jefferson Davis Hogg that is. And let's just say I run Hazzard County. You know how to get to Hazzard County don't you? Just head South from anywhere in the good ol' US of A and you'll run right smack into my neck of the woods. And if you're lookin' to do business, uh, any kind of business down here, I'm the one to see. Just ask for Boss. I'll be waitin' to hear from you. I'm open to anything."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Diamonds in the Rough)

Bo Duke:"I think he got to much of a head start." Luke Duke:"We're gonna have to take a shortcut or somethin'." Bo Duke:"But we can't take that shortcut. That ain't no road." Luke Duke:"That never stopped you before. So come on." Both together:"Let's take it. Haha!" Bo Duke:"Yahoo!" Frank:"They just jumped the road over there." Lisa:"You just take the long way around. You don't drive like they do." Waylon Jennings:"Now honey, they ain't nobody drive like they do!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Coltrane Vs. Duke)

Luke Duke:"Now look what they gone an' done!" Bo Duke:"Well, you gotta admit, they're tryin' real hard aren't they?" Luke Duke:"Yeah. Hold on!" Cletus:"Haha we dropped a Fox on the Dukes! Hehe!" Deputy Emery Potter:"Maybe they went back fer help." Deputy Cletus Hogg:"Back fer help?! They ain't goin' back fer help! Where are they goin'?" Deputy Emery Potter:"They're gonna jump it." Deputy Cletus Hogg:"They can't jump that! Houdini couldn't jump that!" Luke Duke:"Haha hang on this time!" Bo Duke:"Yahoo!" Deputy Emery Potter:(Smugly.)"They jumped it."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 2 The Meeting)

Black Jack Bender:"I don't like the way this day is startin'. I don't like it at all. A car with doors that won't open!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Diamonds in the Rough)

Waylon Jennings:"Now here's the lineup. First the phony FBI. Then Bo an' Luke. Then the baddies. Followed by Boss an' Rosco. Shoot, that many didn't finish the Charlotte last year. An' the real FBI is comin' right at 'em. That boy's gonna need a big net." Luke Duke:"Do somethin'!" Bo Duke:"I am! I'm prayin'!" FBI:"Oh no!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Diamonds in the Rough)

Waylon Jennings:"This is the real FBI man. He ain't got a clue what's goin' on. An' this is the phony FBI man. He ain't much better off."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 7 Welcome, Waylon Jennings)

Waylon Jennings:"Now I've seen die-hard fans desperate for an autograph, but I ain't never given one at gunpoint."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 3 The Legacy)

Deputy Cletus Hogg:"Cousin Boss, you mind if I drink a little toast to the old days with y'all?" Boss Hogg:"Cletus, you weren't around in the old days, an' I ain't to pleased to have you around in the new days neither!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Miss Tisdale on the Lam)

Luke Duke:"Miss Tisdale, there's a U. S. postal inspector over at yer post office. An' it looks like she an' Rosco are fixin' to accuse you of mail fraud." Miss Tisdale:"Me?!" Luke Duke:"You!" Miss Tisdale:"Well, they gotta be suckin' out of a bent straw!" Bo Duke:(Laughs.)"Well, that's kinda what we figure too, Miss Tisdale." Miss Tisdale:"I'm gonna tooty on over there, an' straighten 'em out!" Luke Duke:"Hold on Miss Tisdale! We think it might be best if you come out to the farm to hideout fer awhile." Miss Tisdale:"No way! Did you say "Hide out"? At yer farm?" Bo Duke:"Yes mam." Miss Tisdale:"With yer Uncle Jesse?" Luke Duke:"He's there most of the time!"

[HossC]

Skipper, you're straying a bit from the actual script with that last one, and as you know, I like this thread to be accurate for reference purposes. I've also corrected your previous Waylon quote because it was quicker than reposting the line. Here's how the scene above should go:

Luke: "Miz Tisdale, there's a U.S. Postal Inspector over at your Post Office and it looks like her and Rosco are fixing to accuse you of mail fraud."
Miz Tisdale: "Mail fraud? Me?"
Luke: "You."
Miz Tisdale: "They got to be sucking out of a bent straw."
Bo: "That's kind of what we figured, Miz Tisdale."
Miz Tisdale: "That frosts me. I'm gonna tool over there and straighten them out."
Luke: "Just hold on a second. Now, it looks like some sort of set up. So we figured you better lay low."
Bo: "You can come and hide out at our farm."
Miz Tisdale: "Hide out? Me? No way, José."
[Her face changes]
Miz Tisdale: "Did you say your farm?"
Bo: "Yes, ma'am."
Miz Tisdale: "With your Uncle Jesse?"
Luke: "He's there most of the time."
Miz Tisdale: "Ooooo!"

[Skipper Duke]

(I forget which Season/Episode.)

Uncle Jesse L. Duke:"J. D. We all know the only two things you ever done that were legal, was be born, and marry Lulu."

[HossC]

It's near the start of 'Go West, Young Dukes' after Boss finds the deeds to the Duke Farm. The full line is, "J.D., we all know the only two things you ever did that was legal was be born and marry Lulu. However, if this signature's authentic it's a legal document."

[Skipper Duke]

16 hours ago, HossC said:

Skipper, you're straying a bit from the actual script with that last one, and as you know, I like this thread to be accurate for reference purposes. I've also corrected your previous Waylon quote because it was quicker than reposting the line. Here's how the scene above should go:

Luke: "Miz Tisdale, there's a U.S. Postal Inspector over at your Post Office and it looks like her and Rosco are fixing to accuse you of mail fraud."
Miz Tisdale: "Mail fraud? Me?"
Luke: "You."
Miz Tisdale: "They got to be sucking out of a bent straw."
Bo: "That's kind of what we figured, Miz Tisdale."
Miz Tisdale: "That frosts me. I'm gonna tool over there and straighten them out."
Luke: "Just hold on a second. Now, it looks like some sort of set up. So we figured you better lay low."
Bo: "You can come and hide out at our farm."
Miz Tisdale: "Hide out? Me? No way, José."
[Her face changes]
Miz Tisdale: "Did you say your farm?"
Bo: "Yes, ma'am."
Miz Tisdale: "With your Uncle Jesse?"
Luke: "He's there most of the time."
Miz Tisdale: "Ooooo!"

Cousin Hoss, thanks!

[Skipper Duke]

(The opening scene of Season 2 Mason Dixon's Girls.) They're hauling the new hot water heater in the trunk of the General Lee. The trunk is open, with the big tall brown box sticking out. Waylon Jennings:"Now, knowin' the Duke Boys, that might be somethin' that they rigged up on the General, to give him a little bit more sting. But really, it's just a new hot water heater that they picked up down at the depot. Now, that seems simple. But this is Hazzard County, where hardly nothing is what seems."

Edited September 17, 2023 by HossC

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Shine On Hazzard Moon) A line I like is Uncle Jesse searching for his Horse Lineament recipe in Shine On Hazzard Moon and finds a watch that doesn't work. Uncle Jesse:"So that's where that is!" Shakes it. It doesn't work. He heard no sound. "And that's why it's where it is."

[Skipper Duke]

And this also from (Season 4 Shine On Hazzard Moon) Uncle Jesse:"Well, I'd sworn I had the recipe in here." Boss Hogg:"Horse Lineament! You dodo! You brought me Jesse's recipe for Horse Lineament!" Rosco:"Well, how was I supposed to know it was Horse Lineament? I mean after all, this is the only thing in his secret tin that had writing on, so I just naturally thought-" Boss Hogg:"Oh that's your trouble, you never do think naturally!"

[HossC]

Skipper, please try to stick to the script when posting quotes. You had a couple of deviations with this one. Here's what they actually said:

Jesse: "I'd have sworn I had the recipe in here."

Boss Hogg: "It's horse liniment, you dodo!"
Rosco: "Are you sure?"
Boss Hogg: "You brung me Jesse's recipe for horse liniment."
Rosco: "Boss, I didn't know it was horse liniment. I mean, after all, this was the only thing in his secret little tin that had writing on it. I just naturally thought..."
Boss Hogg: "That's your trouble, you never do think naturally."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Nothin' But the Truth)

Bo, Luke & Daisy are riding in the General Lee. Boss Hogg's gamblers Lacey and his boys are chasing them trying to stop them from finding the tour bus.

Bo Duke:"You sure they're not shootin' at us just to get our attention?" Luke Duke:"Can we save the question and answer fer when target practice is over!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 7 Strange Visitor to Hazzard)

Boss:(Upon seeing the alien.)"Well what in the name of all that's holy in heaven on Earth is that?"

Rosco:"That looks like a mini monster! Sick him Flash!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Diamonds in the Rough)

Bad guys are up in the hills watching Bo and Luke. Bo and Luke have found the Bugs Bunny doll stuffed with the stolen hijacked diamonds. Waylon Jennings:"Now I don't know who them fellas are, but they sure ain't dressed fer rabbit huntin'." The bad guys shoot at them from up in the hills. Bo Duke:"Does that sound like gunshots to you?" Luke Duke:"I don't know! But let's not stick around and find out!" They shoot again. Luke Duke:"It was gunshots!" Waylon Jennings:"Looks like them fellas were rabbit hunters after all." Bo Duke:"Bugs Bunny, who'd wanna shoot after Bugs Bunny?" Luke Duke:"Elmer Fudd." Bo gives Luke a "Seriously Luke" type look. Luke Duke:"But I wouldn't bank on it bein' him though."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 Diamonds in the Rough. Later in the episode, when Boss finds out about the diamonds.)

Boss Hogg:"Diamonds, diamonds, diamonds, Rosco, Maybelle just told me them Dukes found diamonds in the North Meadow!" Rosco:"You know that infuriates me, I've been all over that Meadow with my metal detector, an' the only thing I found was .60 cents an' a metal muffin." Boss Hogg:"Rosco, yer brain's a metal muffin! Them diamonds they found were stolen an' hijacked!"