Dukes Meet Bill Elliott

[RogerDuke]

Just a few miles from Capitol City Jesse gets on the CB, knowing that the radio might not work in the city with all the radio interference. 

"This is your worst nightmare driving the General Lee Boss Hogg. I'm only 5 minutes from the state police. That means I'm only 5 minutes away from getting you put in the state pokey for a long time....unless of course you are interested in making a little deal." 

There was no response at first while Boss thought for a moment. Then came the response.....

[Garrett Duke]

Boss Hogg looks at his sheriff in hopes of finding some answer to escape his dilemma. "Hey Boss," Garrett yells out from the upstairs jail cell behind them, "you better not leave ol' Jesse waiting for too long. You know he's getting older by the second. He may just forget the deal he's thinking about if you wait much longer. Plus," Garrett pauses to smile evilly at the two city officials, "Jesse don't like having to wait."

"You hush it, Garrett," Rosco is quick to snap at him, "this is between us citizens of the law. Not some lowly criminal as yourself!"

Boss rolls his eyes impatiently at both of them. "I told you, you nimwit to put him downstairs!" Boss yells before the sound of Jesse on the other line catches his attention. "Dang it Jesse Duke! Why you go play so low on me for? Weren't we friends?" Boss whines into the phone as he blows cigar smoke into Rosco's face.

"Were is the important word, Boss. That means you were in the past. Not the present," Rosco reminds Boss who only looks angrier at him. "Maybe," Rosco says with enthusiasm, "if you and ol' Jesse were still friends, y'all wouldn't be in this predicament."

"Rosco!" Boss yells before Jesse clears his throat on the other side of the CB to bring him back to his conversation. "Oh hi Jesse. I'm sorry. My nitwitted sheriff was distracting me." He forces a smile and fake kindness in his voice as he talks over the CB. "What's this little deal you have in mind?"

Taking his fat fingers off of the CB buttons to await for Jesse's response he glares over at Garrett who stares coldly back at him. "Rosco," he whispers to his sheriff, "you know dang well what he is going to say. We had all this in the grasp of our hands and thanks to you, we are going to lose it all! You better hope his deal is to give your criminal's tape back out of the goodness of his heart for a slice of pizza. Because if we lose all of this and your criminal gets to walk, well," Boss blows more smoke in  his face, "I may have to find myself a new sheriff. One I can trust!"

"Great idea, Boss," Garrett says from his cell, "you could trust me. I can be your sheriff and ol' Rosco can be in charge of cleaning the sheriff's station and the toilets around here."

"You hush it Duke!" Rosco yells at him.

"You are the wise one who put him up here," Hogg grins at him before the CB starts to hiss and Hogg puts his fingers up to his mouth to hush his sheriff to hear his enemy's response. 

[RogerDuke]

Jesse was smiling but nobody was around to see it. He pressed the CB mic. 

"I'll tell you what Boss.....I'm gonna make a little adjustment here. Just for old times sake I'll let you tell me what you are willing to do in exchange for gittin' the tape back. You make the first offer. If I like it I'll come right back after I hear you followed through with your end of the deal. And if I don't it looks like you will be trading that marshmallow suit for state pen black and white stripes." 

Rosco looked alarmed "You can't go to jail Boss. Wearing stripes makes you look fat." 

Garrett laughed as loud as was humanly possible. "Looks like you ain't got much choice Boss!" He laughed again. "And it looks like I'm either getting out of jail or you're going in one." 

Boss was furious. "You both shut yer traps right now and let me think." A moment later he looked at Rosco and asked "How do I know he didn't make another copy of the tape?" 

Garrett interrupted and responded quickly, "That's easy Boss. He's honest and you are a criminal.....and I suspect he's getting impatient." 

Boss was steaming. "Shuck, you are right. You may get away with it this time Garrett Duke but you ain't heard the last of me." He then pressed the mic on the CB and told Jesse he has won and could have whatever he wanted to put an end to his failed scam. 

[Garrett Duke]

Garrett Duke watched the whole thing unfold.  Partially grateful for his uncle for all he has done to get him out and partially upset at his uncle for not turning Boss in. He's spent his time in Atlanta jail. He has friends in there. He knows he could survive it easily. The thought of Hogg joining him only makes him laugh out loud at the payback the fat man would receive for his crimes. The Dukes and Hazzard County may be patient and understanding enough with his schemes to make them right again and go on their way without pressing charges or such things towards Boss and Rosco, but the guards and his peers in the Atlanta jail system wouldn't be so patient or understanding with his schemes.

"What you laughing at, boy?" Hogg angrily turns around and stares harshly at Garrett and Garrett realizes he actually did laugh out loud at the thought.

Garrett shrugs as he steps up to the bars. "Ah nothing. Just the thought of you in the Atlanta Jail," Garrett smiles evilly at Hogg as Hogg blows smoke in his face, "everyone around here may have patience with your evil and greedy ways. But your future cellmates and guards won't be so understanding with you."

"Yeah well," Hogg pauses as he looks back at Rosco who acts like he's busy with paperwork. Turning back at Garrett, he replies, "you heard him. I'm not going to jail. Nor will I ever go. Because, unlike you, I belong here. I own this place and every property and every soul that resides here. Whether they want to believe that or not. Including you!" Hogg blows more smoke into Garrett's face.

"You're delusional, Hogg," Garrett fights the urge to grab the fat man's suit through the bars and shake some sense into him. Instead he takes a step back and away from the fat man. "The only person you own is that clown behind you who is too much of a coward to stand up to you."

"Hey now! I heard that!" Rosco chimes in and joins Hogg at the cell, "I am not a clown. I am Sheriff Roscooooo P. Coltrane. I'm the sheriff of this here town and -"

"Can it Rosco!" Hogg snaps at him before turning to Garrett, "You may be getting out now, but one day, Duke, you will return to the state pen where you belong. I don't care what I have to do or how I'll catch you with hard cold evidence on your filthy hands, but I'll do it. No matter what it takes. I promise you that!"

Garrett smiles coldly at him. "I'll be looking forward to it," he responds coldly, "but I'll be taking you with me. I promise you that, Hogg. And unlike your promise, my promise is one hundred percent legit!"

Hogg glares angrily at him. "Rosco! Do something to him!" He shouts at Rosco.

"Like what Boss?" Rosco naively questions.

"I don't know. Arrest him!" Hogg yells.

"But Boss," Rosco responds, "he's already in jail. I can't arrest him."

"Well, you heard him. He threatened me!" Hogg cries.

"Not any more than what you threatened him with, Boss," Rosco responds without much thought.

"Rosco Coltrane! I am your boss. If you want to remain wearing that shiny star of your's and not be stuck washing my vehicles -" Boss starts to threaten Rosco only for the doors behind him to be dramatically thrown open and Bill and Ernie Elliott walking confidently in. The room is silent as they approach before Hogg can start to talk again, "Bill. Ernie. What you here for?"

"We're here for our friend," Bill responds motioning towards Garrett, "we have taken it upon ourselves to make sure you do your deal on your deal with Jesse Duke."

Ernie nods. "We will drive Rosco and Garrett to our meeting place. Where you, Hogg, can follow," he cooly replies, "and we will make the swap."

"You see Hogg," Bill drawls, "I don't trust you. I know you got your stake in all of this, but I want to make sure with my own eyes that my friend is set free."

"You can't do that," Hogg counters, "I'm the law around here."

"I'll call Jesse and tell him Garrett don't care. He'll go to jail to take you with him," Bill states flatly.

"I don't care. I'd love to be there to see Hogg in jail!" Garrett states, staring darkly at Hogg.

Hogg gulps and sucks on his cigar before blowing it out angrily in their faces. "Ok, Ok. Fine. But Garrett's in cuffs until he's handed over," he finally surrenders. "Sheriff, cuff him and sit next to him. I'll be behind you the whole way."

"Ten four little fat buddy," Rosco laughs and unlocks the cell as he takes out his handcuffs. Hogg rolls his dark brown eyes before he goes out back and gets into his convertible and tells his driver what is going on.

"Let's go, Duke," Rosco states after handcuffing him tightly behind the back and shoving him out the door. "After you two."

Ernie and Bill lead them to their car where they all get in before Ernie quickly takes off and Bill takes the CB. "OK Uncle Shephard. The flock is on it's way."