Brian Coltrane

Why should he? This is the most attention you've evah paid to him. Heh!

Say! Thanks for reminin' me. Lemme jot that down....

How is it, that MaryAnne's in jail, and I'm the one gettin' in trouble?

I knew ah forgot about somethin'....lemme git back to ya on that.

It don't matter who I practiced on before...it's who I practice on next that matters. Sign-up sheets are right over there on the bookin' desk.

*awkward pause* Yeah, that's more like it. Awright, Romeo, take it over there and speechify at MaryAnne! It's better that you practice your lines on her, than me, ya know.

That was awful. It's no damn wonder she's nevah went out with you. Don't you know how to romance somebody proper?! *sets down the coffee cup and steps closer, to demonstrate* You gotta be personal! Intimate! You gotta git eye to eye, and speak quiet enuff so she's gotta pay attention to listen! Like this.... *leans in closer to Alex, murmuring* You've nevah known how often ah've wanted to be this close...to see the light in your eyes, and be able to touch your face...if only ah dared. But such privileges are nevah mine, nevah will be mine, so long as your heart is kept locked away. Oh, how ah've hoped, and wished, and dreamed for the day when I could confess all I've felt for you! And confess it ah would, if there was the smallest chance on this green earth, that you could care for me the same. *ends this with a strained whisper, dark eyes holding a deep gaze...and then remembers the audience* Ya'll do realize this was for educational purposes only! *looks back at Alex* YOU do realize this was for educational purposes only..... *takes a step away*

Awright, now you're bein' cruel and unusual to me! Quit with the bad limericks. You gotta appeal to her sensitive side. Say somethin' from deep inside....that doesn't come out like a belch.

Yeah, I can see you're just shakin' like a leaf, Roger. You'll enjoy our current jailbird, I'm sure.

This keeps gettin' better. I notice thus far, nobody is clamouring for MaryAnne's release. Except, of course, MaryAnne. Bahahaha!

Just thought I'd open the window here and let some of the smoke out. I wanna take this opportunity to point out that the parties involved in the original fracas did apologize. MaryAnne and I did accept it. And given the number of people and posts that have been going on in this place for years, occurrances of this nature are thankfully rare. I don't want people thinking they can't horse around with MaryAnne and me. I also don't want anybody afraid to post because of all this. I can't speak for the Deputy, but for myself, it's done with and I see no need to whack the ban button or hose anybody down.

*almost pours coffee on the floor hearing that suggestion* Alex, lockin' you up with MaryAnne would be cruel and unusual punishment to her. *pausing* Even if it ain't cruel, it would be unusual, and paybacks are hell, ya know. *pours a dozen sugar packets into coffee, sips at it* Ya know what ya could do, though, is woo her through the bars. Read her some poetry...sing to her...do a mime impression....impress her with your Yoga poses. Do all those lil' thangs you've been dyin' to do but nevah had the opportunity. Ah'm sure she'd enjoy the attention.... *having thus arranged mild torture for MaryAnne, grins into the coffee cup*

Good! 'Cause yer gonna be in heah all day! All night, too. You just list all yer little wants and complaints for Amnesty International there. I'll think of some bail for ya after I make up some charges. After mah donut and coffee. *jumps down from the booking desk, and heads over to the coffee pot, whistling the theme from the Andy Griffith Show, which is darn inappropriate under the cirmcumstances*

*turns around in mid-dance* You've been in there thirty seconds. B'sides, the tin cup won't fit through the bars. Would her Jail-ness like a paper cup to sip outta?

Yes folks, MaryAnne wasn't payin' attention and found herself shoved inside the holding cell by yours truly. KHEEHAHAHAHA! ( See the "Arrest Garrett " thread for how it unfolded.) *looks at uniformed cousin who's locked behind bars* Ya know MaryAnne, I always wanted to pull this on ya, just once. And it's every bit as entertainin' as ah thought it would be. Now if you'll excuse me just a moment, I need to allow mahself some display o' victory. *snatches up the jail keys from the peg on the wall, not taking any chances, and shoves them into the inner pocket of leather jacket. Proceeds to jump up on the booking dance and break into an end-zone boogie* I fought the law, and ...I won! I fought the law, and...I won! Da da! Da da! Dah da-da-da-dahhh!

HA! Fooled ya!! *abruptly shoves cousin into the open holding cell, and slams the cell door shut* *CLANG!* You have the right to ree-main silent! Not that you would. KHEE! This livens up a dull night, don't it!

Mm. Yeah. Zzzzzzzzzz.....

You realize, of course, if we just stand here quiet, I'm gonna lose mah mind.

No. But you can chase yerself.

I think we were leanin' towards Alex, but then we had that outbreak of minor drama which kinda threw a bucket of icewater on the whole thing. Whoever goes into jail next might feel safer for bein' there.

You know who's got a right to be really upset? Alex. He's tried so hard to have MaryAnne arrest him. He's had fantasies along these lines for years. Finally, he was this {-} close to being cuffed, if not stuffed, and then somebody enters a mood-killer. Alas, poor Alex. So close!

Was it a full moon or something?

MaryAnne, as you were the one who got smarted-off to, I'll leave it to your discretion how you wanna handle it. I'd just as soon hit the button. I don't mind us being knocked in fun, but genuine disrespect earns my fury.

Yeah, like that woodchuck stew post. Saracsm in response to MaryAnne's post is a sure-fire way to find yourself on the outside looking in. Kindly apologize to her, and mean it.

Cowboy, Lori, and B.L.... That was mean-spirited. I'm disappointed in you guys. Really, truly disappointed. Cowboy, I'm especially unhappy with you, for starting the bullying. Picking on these guys and their story is uncool. It's also disrespectful to HNet as a whole. For somebody who's had a whole slew of second chances, and who's been around HNet for years, I'd expect better of you. Pick on somebody your own size. You know where to find me.