Brian Coltrane

*looks to L.J. and the Texan Lady, glad for their offers* Hell yes, I'd take pie, ice cream and coffee right now. I've got a lot of work ahead of me, and I gotta git it done before Chet gets too used to mah title. Thank ya, ladies. *gives them a gentlemanly bow*

Name this. *gives Alex a swat in the head* Jeeze, could you have it any easier?! You masher. You slimeball. You.... Damn, I shoulda just offered a peach pie or somethin' for mah own bail. Sonofa.... *paces to the end of the cell, grumbling*

Oh lawdy. *covers ears, imagining what Alex might offer to MaryAnne*

*considers this another second* You'd take it personally, I figure. Couldn't blame ya. Awright.... *heaves a breath* Everybody else has played by the rules, so will I. I'll post bail, and considerin' all what I started, I'll make an offer you can't ree-fuse. *leans a shoulder against the bars and counts off a few items on fingertips* One. I'll come up with an article for this place every month. I fail to do so, you can put me back in heah. Two. I'll write a story from scratch, brand new, about the Dukes. Original characters only, just to prove I can still do it. Three. I'll finish the story I started two years ago, where you get killed off and become a ghost. For some reason ah'm in the mood to return to that one. *looks at cousin* This is a mighty handsome bail. *turns head to show best profile* Only fittin', I suppose. That said, I will offer ya items Two and Three completed, as conditions of ree-lease, and item One would be kind of an ongoin' parole thang.

I'd just as soon break mah way out --- *holds eye contact for a long moment* --- just to prove a point. But that would be the wrong point, wouldn't it.

(sidebar: You're fine. I enjoyed the comments. I'm just fightin' with MaryAnne right now. Everybody is welcome to chime in anytime as usual.)

*answers this by coming close to the bars again, looking through them sharply* Yer stallin'. If you really wanted me out, you'd let me out. If you really want me in heah, then quit teasin' me about bail that nevah gets set.

*at these words, slowly turns head, looking over one leather-clad shoulder at Chet...dark eyes smouldering with anger. Suddenly spins and lunges at the bars, throwing side of body against them hard, right arm snaking through the bars to grab Chet. But he's just a step too far away. Claws at the air once, snarling* You sonofa....took you almost 10 years, didn't it. This is what you always wanted. And you got just enuff of the town to stand behind you, finally, that MaryAnne went along with it. *straightens and grabs the bars, grip white-knuckled* Yer all pretty words now, boy, but I seen yer true colors. I ain't forgot the Chet who came to town years ago with one purpose on his mind. Well, maybe you forgot the Brian Coltrane who took you down then. Maybe you forgot why I can bring this town together and just as easily tear it apart. You just be careful, Chet, 'cause ah'm fixin' to give you some sharp reminders of how I got the title in the first place, once ah'm outta heah -- *lunges again, making another wild grab through the bars, catching nothing but air, cursing* --- #$%&*!!

*grabs the flask of booze, opens it, and guzzles down a bitter swallow, gritting teeth*

*reacts to MaryAnne's decree* GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! *letting go of the cell bars and turning away, pressing a hand over gut as if wounded...or sickened...*

I expected some trouble for throwin' you in heah. But ah nevah expected this much of it. And there's no way that sapsucker dee-serves to walk in mah boots for a single minute.

*grabs the bars, protesting loudly* NO! MaryAnne, don't do it! Don't give Chet mah title. You might as well take mah leather jacket away and burn it in front of me. Keep me heah as long as you want, put me on the chain gang, send me to Atlanta, but don't do this!

Way to go, man. *steps close to the cell door again , looking at MaryAnne with a frown* Either you didn't want me to git lonely in heah, or you got somethin' else up your blue sleeve.

GAH!! * no choice but to step back as Alex is shoved in. Gives cousin a shocked look as the cell door clangs, the double shuck n' jive now apparent*

*listens, surprised....eyebrow drifting up....wondering why MaryAnne would prefer to see Alex in here...*

*speechless*

And then it'd be like treason, Alex, if you bumped off somebody she duly appointed as actin' whatnot. Though it'd almost be worth losin' the title, to have Open Season on Chet... *wistful expression*

A ree-volt is a noble idea, Alex, but you won't do that to MaryAnne.

WHAT?! *grabbing the bars, protesting loudly* No!! If Chet was in charge of the bad guys around heah, we'd be overrun with mediocre badness! If you want quality trouble, you can't give that title away! I know Chet can do bad thangs, like put his head through the jukebox, and spit for a half-mile, but that ain't finesse! That ain't the caliber of bad ah've worked so hard to cultivate around heah!

...uh, yeah. *uncomfortable beneath that steady gaze* ...well.... *glances quick to Alex, who's too infatuated by MaryAnne to be doing any decent scheming* You shoulda brought somethin' fancier than a burger and fries, buddy. Nobody's last meal should come in a brown paper bag. *looks back to deputy cousin* Awright, MaryAnne. Ah see yer point. I've cost the county a pretty penny in keepin' you locked up. But there's gotta be some sorta terms we can come to.....

! *starts doing some math on how many days MaryAnne was behind bars, how many tickets she coulda wrote each day, and the average dollar rev-ah-noo value of each ticket *

*holds the bars, eyebrow lifting* How serious, is serious serious? You mean, like... serious, serious o-ffense, or...SERIOUS, serious, yer-so-screwed-now-boy, o-ffense.

... a Depu-Pez ticket dispenser. All somebody's gotta do, is tip yer hat back to git a ticket.

You're justice?! Yer a parkin' and speedin' ticket dispenser! Like a Depu-Pez!