Brian Coltrane

Waaal, I reckon I'll just halfta git rid of Alex. *eyes the blond cellmate* I hated to ree-sort to such an obvious scheme, but....I don't know that I've got the patience to see this thang through... *tenses body, squaring shoulders*

KHEE! Too bad you can't touch me in heah. *turns around, wagging posterior * Nyah nyah! * after taunting a moment, faces forward again* Butt, seriously... *chuckles* ....I bit off way more than I can chew with this bail. I'm screwed. I'm toast. Ah'm stuck heah forevah.

*leans side against the bars* The part where you git killed off. Havin' you get shot is just too ...messy. Havin' you drown ain't as dramatic. Havin' you suffocate because you fell asleep face-down in your pillow, won't fit with the plot. *looks at cousin, teasing her* Nearest thang I can figure, is you break your neck while trippin' over an electrical cord heah.

*quickly mutters to Alex* ...mum's the word... *steps closer to the cell door and gives MaryAnne a shrug* Oh, I got through half a page last night... s'comin' along about as well as you could expect, givin' mah chatterbox cellmate. But I'm havin' some trouble with the story you're in.

*turns head to answer Alex* More like pansies. A pair o' pansies at the garden club. But they might be pushin' up daisies soon enuff.

You betcha. If Chet hates somebody, it usually means I'd like 'em.

*smiles at the offering of baked goods, cheerfully accepting the pie and cookies* Thank ya, Lizzy. *sets the bag down and helps self to a slice of pie, chewing blissfully* Mmm. Gotta say, country cookin' agrees with me... *notices Alex's patient expression and offers him cookies* Heah you go, buddy. *swallows down the pie in short order, then looks at Lizzy again* Yer awright, Miss Lizzy. And if Chet doesn't like you, that means you're doin' somethin' right. Khee! Still, I'd appreciate any news you can sniff out about him n' Garrett. If ah know them two, they're hidin' out at the Ladies Auxilliary Club, or sittin' in on Lulu's Hazzard County Beautifyin' Committe.

*after arranging this much, sighs and turns back to Alex* Jail sucks. I don't know if I can do this much longer.

Khee! Good. You just hang out and relax in the meantime. I really don't wanna pull a jailbreak, so it's kind of a last ree-sort.

*waves the kid in the '73 shirt over closer* Listen up. You don't halfta break any laws or nothin'....but you're gonna be mah ace in the hole for gettin' outta heah early. All I need you to do, is hang around awhile....and if I start fightin' with Alex, you just run and git MaryAnne and tell her we're killin' each other. Got it?

Dude, you were defeated, and in public. Any more defeated and you wouldn't be standin' there. I'll be happy to give you a ree-fresher course when ah'm outta heah. (Author's note: surely you haven't forgotten the RR where Garrett got a busted knee and assorted bruises. Short memory or a selective one?)

*holds on to the bars, frowning* Not only am I short on friends, I ain't got any enemies worth a damn. What is this town comin' to? *notices the quiet Duke who's watching things * You, over there, in the '73 T-shirt. How'd you like to make some easy money?

That's it?! And you call yourself a bad guy?! Bah! *smacks the bars with an open hand in disgust* G'wan, before yer late for your Girl Scout meeting. *grumbles* Man, what happened to the enemies I used to have....

*hears the voice and turns in surprise* Waaal, Garrett, nobody evah accused Dukes of havin' an overload o' common sense. Maybe you ain't afraid of me, but that's probably 'cause yer mind blocked out some very painful memories of the last time we fought. *reaches through the bars and gives a hard tap to Garrett's chest* And if you're not up to somethin', why the hell not? Don't tell me you and Chet get an oppportunity like this, and you're gonna just stand around with your hands in your pockets. I mean, ain't you got any ree-venge planned? A coup? Throwin' toilet paper up a tree? Anythang?

Yeah, ah'm fierce n' all that, locked up. *leaning against the bars, and despite all inner ferocity, really thinking about pie * Hmm. I dunno, Alex. Gettin' outta heah legit-like is gonna take me forevah, and by then nobody will even remember who ah am. I promised MaryAnne I'd make good on the bail, but I got such a brilliant idea for a breakout, it's hard to pass it up.

But he's a tool nonetheless. *keeps a straight face* Yeah, expectin' them to stroll in heah with their whole scheme drawn out for us is a bit much. They're far too afraid of me to do somethin' that bold.

I'm comin' up blank. Mah only hope is that somebody would step up and volunteer to spy for me. *looks around the thinly populated booking room* Aside from that, I'd have to hope that Chet or Garrett would just walk in heah and announce all their insidious plots right to mah face. And then tell me exactly where I can find them when I get out.

Well, you're one of 'em, o' course, but everybody knows that, so it makes ya kinda useless in the spy department. No offense. And the other spies who go waaay back.... two of 'em are hardly speakin' to me, and recent reports have it that a third is on very friendly terms with the enemy. If I trust that last person, I could find mahself set up for disaster. *thinks about the denied pie a moment, which seems to be an example of What's Wrong With The World Today. Then looks at Alex with concern* What if ah'm truly out of friends?

*answers an earlier remark by L.J. Davenport* You weren't gonna bring me pie? There's nothin' worse than a pie lie, ya know. And seein' as how I don't intend to be in heah forevah, you might wanna stay on mah good side. Such as it is. *tries to work on a story, but distracted by Alex, as usual* Alex, Daniel can't spy for us. One, he's nevah around, two, he's nevah around, and three, he's nevah around. B'sides, he don't 'zactly blend in, around town. What I really need, is one of mah original, loyal spies.... *stops working on the story, and sighs a little* ...but they've mostly drifted off to other thangs in life. Thangs have changed in this town, Alex. I ain't got the allies I once did.

You might have coffee poured down your pants sooner than that. *finishes off the cup and caps it back on the thermos* Alex, snap outta it long enough to scheme with me, eh? Once MaryAnne springs you, ah'm on mah own heah - and as good as that sounds right now, we need to be on the same page. *lowers voice* There's no tellin' how soon MaryAnne will let you out. But we can't be blind to the outside world in the meantime. We gotta find a way to keep track of Chet and Garrett and anybody else who might favor a permanent change. Who can we trust?

*keeping distance from Alex* I wasn't quite sure who's gun you were talkin' about! And no, I don't think MaryAnne would be flattered by that particular statement. *drinks more coffee, pacing restlessly* Ah wonder if it's too late to plea bargain into capital punishment. Anythang's better than listenin' to this for the next month...

*pours coffee from the thermos into a cup. Thunks the thermous down on the small computer desk* Dude. I can't even believe you. Chet's out there plannin' lawd-knows-what, and ah'm willin' to bet Garrett's gonna be in on it. I'm locked up in heah, and I'll be lucky if I git mah bail made in two weeks, with workin' mah posterior off. And you! What's on yer mind?! How to score with mah cousin, that's what's on yer mind! Thank God I got coffee heah, 'cause there ain't no way I'm gonna git any sleep with yer doe-eyed gaze starin' at me all night... *slurps coffee noisily*

...sweet talk her into what?! *narrows eyes, letting go of Alex in order to glare at him better. Accepts the thermos of coffee from the Texas Lady, glad for it....it's going to be a long night...*

*after speaking to the ladies, turns back to Alex and grabs ahold of him by the front of his jacket* Alex, lemme lay it out to ya like this. We're locked up together. You got romance on yer mind. MaryAnne has just accepted a date with you. Your mind is gonna be in the kinda places that it can't afford to roam considerin' our close quarters and it makes me a mite bit uneasy. Do you dig?!