Brian Coltrane
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Posts posted by Brian Coltrane
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Mufn, ol' buddy ol' pal ol' cousin.....like MaryAnne said, we'd nevah forget that you own the place. We respect yer benelovent Commander-ness. We're just not above a little jest once in awhile, tucked away somewhere on the boards to see if you're paying attention.
Tho' I have no explanation, nor excuse to offer, for MaryAnne's ongoing antics. I think that's an individual matter that is best taken up with her directly. (MaryAnne, it's been nice workin' with ya.)
For myself, I pledge to resolve my computer problem. This old one I'm workin' on now is too stubborn to die - tho' it's unstable and doesn't work half the time. I'm gonna arrange for it to have an unfortunate accident. Then I'll feel justified in getting a new computer.
Brian
( a/k/a "the other one" )
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Waaaal, that all depends on how long this computer holds out, ya see....
I'm workin' on it! My newsletter notes blew to kingdom come with the last computer crash I had. So I have to start over. And then we were all distracted by the hacker. And before all that, I went through a sustained episode of sheer laziness that took me weeks to recover from.
Tell ya what, we'll sort this all out durin' our next moderator meetin'. Rather than air our petty jibes here, we'll privately settle any internal issues with our usual decorum and professionalism, sparing the public from any display of strife.
That is, until we post the meetin' minutes.
Brian
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MaryAnne, I'm flattered, but you are the Mistress of Disaster and I can only hope to aspire to your skill for destruction. Blowin' up individual PC's is nothin', compared to wandering up to HazzardNet and finding the whole place leveled to the ground. Now THAT is talent. And you never accomplish it the same way twice!
I stand in awe.
Brian
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Start any topic ya want! Remember, we nevah object to somethin' unless it's objectionable, and we won't know what's objectionable 'till we see it. Heh heh.
Anyhow! The item in my own collection that I'm most proud of, is a Dukes of Hazzard electric slot racing set, still factory-sealed in the box. Made by Ideal and I believe it's circa 1981. I picked up this gem at a car show. And of all things, it was from a toy vendor that dealt in die-cast toy tractors, who had this.
Just a tip for ya'll, I've found some my best DOH items at the bigger car shows and swap meets. I've also done well in antique/collectable stores, where I've picked up old Dukes matchbox cars, drinking mugs, tv trays, John Schneider records, and the like.
Another collection I have involves bootleg merchandise that was never authorized by WB. Don't get excited, I personally don't sell bootleg stuff and never will. But I collect it - sometimes as evidence, other times because the items are kinda funny. I remember finding one t-shirt in a smarmy teenager's store, that had Bo/Luke/Daisy on it, in one of their trademark poses, with "TRAILER TRASH" written underneath. It offended me so much, I had to buy it.
Brian
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Don't worry about what the speedometer goes up to. Here's what you can do to figure out yer top speed.
Start with a full tank of gas. Then take your car out for a spin on the local Interstate highway. Get in the fast lane. Hammer it. Put it to the floor. Keep it there.
At some point, the friendly neighborhood State Patrol will kindly inform you of how fast you were going. And then you'll know your top speed.
Always worked for me!
Brian
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Glad ya'll enjoyed the Meetin' Minutes. That's pretty much how we work around here, too. MaryAnne and I had some reservations about sharin' that on the boards, because we're not sure that our illustrious Commander would be as amused by it. So we just kinda snuck the Meetin' Minutes category in under the FanFiction section, figurin' she'll nevah notice. Muahahaha!
It's equally true that we've brought the roof of this place crashin' down over our own heads, several times, without any outside assistance whatsoever. Call it a learnin' curve. MaryAnne has an aptitude for creatin' wholesale structual collapse, while I have a personal knack for destroyin' every computer I touch. Hence, we get a monthly newsletter out 4 times a year, and that sort of thing.
Meanwhile, the Commander can fix darn near anything with duct tape, so we make a good team. Seriously, MeadowMufn is the brains of the outfit, and therefore shouldn't be blamed for the stuff that doesn't work, or disappears, or doesn't make sense. 9 times out of 10, something works just fine until MaryAnne gets ahold of it.
Anyhow! We might consider havin' an open town meetin' in the future. Would be a change of pace from us squabbin' amongst ourselves. ( We could squabble with everybody ! )
Brian
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Darrell, thank YOU and all Hazzard folk for bearin' with us durin' the downtime. We now resume shenanigans as usual!
Brian
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Darrell, the Unofficial Companion book was a good groundbreaker, in my opinion - while leavin' plenty of room for more to be said. I'd like to see the book followed up by even more books about the show, the reunions, and the fandom itself.
Not sure why there haven't already been more books on it. Unless Dukes fans, as a whole, are too laid back to get into the whole publishing thang. ( if the lazy moderators of HazzardNet serve as any example, there ya have it. )
Brian
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Dee, you're more than welcome to show your stuff under the Story Ideas/Fics in progress section, if you'd like to show your story as it unfolds. Otherwise, there's the DOHFF.com site, where you can submit completed stories.
And if you have an unruly muse, feel free to elbow your way into the Round Robin stories. I'm not even gonna attempt to explain the shenanigans that go on over there. It's not very orthodox, as many of us have been squabbling amongst ourselves for years in one guise or another. ( It's MaryAnne's fault, when ya get right down to it.)
Brian
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> Also, what's the policy regarding beta readers?
Dee, we ain't much for policy in these parts. You can put out a call for a beta reader, and there's a good chance that one of the HazzardNet locals might take a look at your work.
Kinda curious that you're lookin' for exact dialogue for the eps. Some of us have seen all the eps so many times, we can quote 'em verbatim. Heh heh. But if you're doin' episode rewrites, I'd say just go for it. So long as you convey the meanin', and the inflection and feelings behind the character's statements, you won't lose points for phraseology.
Happy writin'!
Brian
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At the light touch to the forehead, Brian gave a smile. His dark eyes were heavy-lidded and drowsy, and he had no objection to the idea of more sleep. With a sigh, he shut his eyes and let his mind sink back into the fluffy cotton of drowsiness.
A few stray thoughts, half-coherent and sodden, stumbled around in his head as conciousness sought the exit. There was nothing to worry about now, Brian told himself. He was safe in a backwoods hideout. Alex was probably halfway to Atlanta with the stolen horses, and would soon be a wealthier man. Meanwhile, Chet Duke was probably getting introduced to a shovel and a dirt blanket.
Yep, nothing to worry about......Zzzzzzzzzzzz.....
(cue anyone!)
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Brian lifted his head to look over at Min and Daisy, seeing them animated in conversation. Even with whiskey-blurred vision, he was able to recognize the saloon girl and barmaid. He had no idea what the hell they were doing here, but there were worse things to wake up to...and finding himself surrounded by three lovely females, he had no complaints.
He lowered his head back to the mattress, and his eyes flicked to the lady gambler. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, fussing with his bandage, one delicate hand resting on his waist. The touch was not unkind; and for a moment, Brian simply watched her. Finally, words escaped his lips, his voice low and raspy from weariness.
"Seems ah owe you a debt, ma'am."
(cue Chance, or anyone)
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The whiskey-hazed sleep wasn't easily disturbed, but the chattering of women's voices was sifting through the fog in Brian's mind. He couldn't quite put together what they were talking about just yet, as he was making a slow, and reluctant, return to conciousness.
The yakking of the hens was relentless, and he gave a weary sigh, admitting to himself that he was waking up. He gave a small groan of complaint at the tugging of his bandages, and his dark eyes flickered open to see....
(cue anybody! )
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Hey, at least when I have a mishap, the roof to the whole place doesn't cave in ! You still got me beat when it comes to local disaster.
Tho' I'll admit, crashin' two county computers in a matter of months, ain't lookin' good. It's these rebuilt parts....gotta be....
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Having no real choice, Brian complied. He paused once inside of the warehouse, looking around curiously. "Interestin' digs. Y'all hold yer rummage sales heah?"
Pointedly, he kept his attitude aloof, even though his heart had kicked up a gear. There was only so long a bluff could be held....and his cards were about to be called.
(cue anybody!)
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Okay, it was time to panic for awhile because I managed to pull a Rosco with my only workin' computer. Yes, I crashed it into a tree. I'll explain later.
Anyhow! I got another county-issue computer goin', and maybe now I'll get that newsletter done. Really. Honest. Soon.
Keep yer fingers crossed.
Brian
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I'm not sure I'm diggin' who's playin' Bo and Luke. But everything else I'd found prior to this latest, showed Paul and Anthony up to their ears in other offers and projects. So I guess the director took the Coy and Vance theory, and figured anybody could play the Dukes.
But I'll tell ya....Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg....that would be epic, and could possibly make, or save, the entire flick. Just my opinion.
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Darrell, you have my envy. Somehow, I've missed every Skynard tour over the years. Either the shows were sold out and scalpers had ticket prices on the moon - or I always had somethin' that I couldn't work around on the same weekend. Rrrrgh!
Good for you on takin' the daughter along. Enjoy the show!
Brian
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Howdy, Stormy!
Welcome to HazzardNet. Dukes fans are plentiful here!
Hey, what kinda car is that?
Brian
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Weakly, Brian lifted his head and looked at the bandage that was wrapped snugly around his lower torso. Wrinkling his nose, he gave a sniff at the poultice. "Honey and marigold powder, and hot water? Ah've been garnished like a roast duck."
Brian eased his head down on the mattress again. Exhaustion was plain in his dark eyes, but his face held a smile as he gazed at the lady gambler. He watched her as she washed the last of the blood from her delicate fingers. He wanted to thank her, and say something charming, but the medicinal booze and the loss of blood was taking it's toll.
Unable to deny the beckoning call of unconciousness, Brian gave in to the pleasant numbness and shut his eyes. He murmured a few words to himself before drifting off to sleep. "Discarded a spade....picked up the queen of diamonds."
A deep sigh followed, and he was aware of nothing else.
(cue anybody!)
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Brian flinched as the liquor was poured over the wound. He accepted the bottle as it was passed back to him, taking a long, fast drink. This woman was going to dissect him like a frog, by the looks of it. But there was something in the sureness of her preparations, the steady movements of her hands, that made him believe she knew her stuff.
Still, the first poke into the raw wound caused him to yelp in pained surprise. "EEYAAH! @#$%&!"
Brian panted out a sharp breath, then forced himself to engage in the small talk. Otherwise, he might pass out, and Lord knew if he'd wake up again. "Chance, eh?" He commented in response to her name. "Good name for a lady gambler..."
He hissed in a breath as the excursion for the bullet continued. "My name's Brian. Brian Coltrane. " He winced and took another long drink from the bottle. "Didn't reckon on any favors from you, ma'am....seein' as how we'd crossed each other earlier. An' right now, ah'm not sure if I should be grateful for your help....GAH! Ow! @#$&! Or, if ah should be wishin' you'd of nevah found me again."
The pain sharpened, and Brian dropped the now-empty bottle, clenching his left hand closed in a fist. Fresh blood seeped from his body as the lady gambler, appropriately named Chance, tried to give him better odds.
(cue anybody!)
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Inside the cabin, one reluctant patient was removing his long coat. Meanwhile, the lady gambler lit up an old kerosene lamp that rested on a rickety table. Oily smoke sputtered up from the flickering flame, and the scent of burning dust was heavy in the air. There was no avoiding the necessity of the lamp; the cabin had one small window, and the overgrowth of the surrounding trees choked off any natural light.
Unsteadily, Brian folded the coat over the back of a rustic chair. He removed his low-brimmed black hat and placed it on the table. His fingers then worked at the buttons of his black shirt, which clung to him with his own sticky blood. He pulled the shirt off, keeping himself from looking at it, though the dampness of blood could be felt on the material. He tossed it aside, and then took a few swaying steps to the woodframe bed that was situated in the corner. Still wearing his boots and black jeans, he ungracefully collapsed into the straw-filled mattress, laying on his right side.
He kept his dark eyes open, though pain and loss of blood made them heavy with the need to close. His breathing, now slow and shallow, seemed to take all of his concentration. He watched the lady gambler as she puttered around. If she intended to help him, he was ready to welcome it. If she intended to simply wait for him to expire....
...at least he wouldn't be alone at the end.
( cue anybody )
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Sure, but a dude named David Hofstede beat me to it. Heh heh. In the Credit where Credit is due, department.....David referenced the CA and some of the GA filming locations in his book, "The Dukes of Hazzard: The Unofficial Companion." To be fair to myself, the GA filming locations were known to me well before the book came out, thanks to a trip to Covington some years ago, and the local folks who remembered the filming.
A sweet lady who ran the Covington Floral Shop told me stories about the filming and area locations. Inside her floral shop, she had a small museum of Dukes and "The Heat of the Night" momentos. (the latter program also had footage shot in Covington).
I use the past tense, as I don't know whether the floral shop is still in business, or ran by the same proprietor. I can't remember her name, except that there was "Jo" somewhere in it. Mary Jo? At any rate, she was an absolute sweetheart, and I'll never be able to thank her enough for her time and her first-hand accounts. Covington has seen it's share of Dukes fans converge on it for one shindig or another - and great people like her, are why fans make the pilgrimage to GA.
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Howdy!
The first five episodes were shot in Georgia, with footage bein' filmed in Covington and Conyers, which were small towns about 35 miles southeast of Atlanta, give r' take.
The first jump that is used in the opening credits was filmed in Covington, smack-dab in the town square. The chase/jump in "One Armed Bandits" that shows a hill and railroad tracks was also filmed in Covington.
The original Boar's Nest is located somewhere between Covington and Conyers. The building still stands, though it was in disrepair last I'd seen, and has been vacant for several years. Once a real tavern, it changed ownership a few times. On occassion, a couple of Dukes fan clubs have rented it out for their shindigs.
Uncle Jesse's farm, the original Sheriff's department, the junkyard, and the store seen in "Mary Kaye's Baby" were all genuine places. The dirt roads and highways used in the chase scenes of those early eps were real roads in Newton County, GA.
When the show moved to CA, Warner Bros created sets in the Burbank studio lots. The backroads in the chase scenes were then filmed around Lake Sherwood CA, and also Valencia CA.
There ya go! And welcome to HazzardNet, Richie.
Brian
BUCKSHOT
in Round Robin Stories
Posted
Brian murmured an answer without opening his eyes. "Mmm. If...you charge by the hour for this....ah'm gonna go broke."
He gave a small grin and let out a long sigh. His sobering mind knew that he'd have to get up soon, test his strength, and deal with the aftermath of the shootout. But he expected he'd only have to hit the outlaw trail, and catch up with Alex somewhere. There'd be cash enough from the stolen horses for both of them to be on the lam awhile. Thus were the thoughts that kept Brian resting in comfort....
(cue anybody in town...Garrett? Val? Or anybody else)