The Andy Griffith Show(1960-1968)

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 5 Otis Sues the County)

Otis:"Boy, I sure would hate to have to fill out a form every time I fell down. Wouldn't leave me much time for drinkin'!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 Irresistible Andy)

Opie Taylor:"You a desperate hunter, Miss Ellie?" Ellie Walker:"Not really." Opie Taylor:"'Cause I know where you can get yourself a possum." Ellie Walker:"No thanks sweetie. Right now, I'm on the trail of a baboon!"

[Skipper Duke]

The Andy Griffith Show fans... I bring you sad news. I have learned today that Betty Lynn(Thelma Lou) has passed away. She was 95. 

[Skipper Duke]

Barney to Andy: "You ought  to go on the radio and be an all-night disc jockey.  At least then I could turn you off!"

[Skipper Duke]

Barney:"I'll tell you who it should be made out to. It oughta be made out to Barney Sucker! Look at all them deductions!"

[Skipper Duke]

Otis:"No no Andy. Never apologize to a woman."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 2 The Jinx)

Barney:"There are atmospheric rays which control bodily motion. Now if a person containing negative or hexant qualities gets between you and them rays, why he creates a static that jars any successful motion into an unsuccessful motion, and jinxes ya'. And that is a scientific fact!"

Andy:"And that's also the biggest  crock of nothin I've ever heard!"

Barney:"Forget it. It's guys like you who laughed at Edison, the Wright Brothers, Buzz Fluheart." Andy:"Buzz Fluheart!?" Barney:"The man who discovered the scientific fact I was just telling you!"

[Skipper Duke]

MOUNTAIN WEDDING

EARNEST T. BASS: “You're mine. You was meant to be mine. You WILL be mine. Charlene, I'll make you a fine husband. I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by being real healthy. Say you'll be mine. Say you'll be my "belove-ded." 
 
BARNEY IN WEDDING GOWN: “ I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth.”

[Skipper Duke]

Andy:"Looks like Otis was right! The only thing they understand is a leg of lamb!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 5 Family Visit)

Andy:"Don’t do that Ollie! Don't play with the siren." Ollie:"What's a matter? Afraid yer gonna get arrested?"

[Skipper Duke]

“I don’t chew my cabbage twice “
Ernest T Bass

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 5 Andy and Helen Have Their Day)

George the TV repairman:"I think the Sheriff is kinda sore Barney."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 Irresistible Andy)

Ellie Walker:"How dare you think I'd wanna marry you? Who do you think you are? Just because I accepted what I thought was a friendly, neighborly invitation... And for your information, Mr. Sheriff, I've given dozens of children free ice cream cones - even if they weren't the children of such gorgeous, charming, desirable catches as yourself! Well, let me tell you something, you big, brave hero - I wouldn't go to the dance with you if you were the last man on Earth, let alone marry you! Nor do I need your generous help in getting an escort. Just to prove it to you, I'm gonna go with the first single unattached man who comes through that door!" Barney Fife walks in. Ellie Walker:"You!" Barney Fife:"Me?" Ellie Walker:"Yes! Are you taking anybody to the dance Saturday?" Barney Fife:"No." Ellie Walker:"Good! In that case, I accept your invitation, thank you!" Barney Fife:(to Andy Taylor, after Ellie Walker leaves.)"I just came in here for some foot powder."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 2 Opie's Hobo Friend)

Andy Taylor:"Your tomorrow's really gonna smart if you don't get up there and clean up your room!"

[Skipper Duke]

https://www.metv.com/quiz/can-you-match-these-andy-griffith-show-characters-to-the-right-occupations

I got 14 out of 15. Should have been 15. But my finger slipped for Floyd and accidentally clicked Doctor instead of Barber in the choices.

[Skipper Duke]

Opie Taylor:"Are you a criminal?" Bobby Fleet:"According to your Pa I am. He framed the whole thing, the hick trouble maker!"

[Skipper Duke]

 

Bobby Fleet:"Ooooh! That kid is a menace!" Andy:"What happened?" Opie:"He called you a hick trouble maker, so I kicked him!" Andy:"He didn’t mean it.
Opie:"I did too!"

[Skipper Duke]

The Andy Griffith Show Fun Fact: Don Knotts(Barney Fife) was Alan Hale Jr.'s Little Buddy before Bob Denver(Gilligan).

[Skipper Duke]

ANDY:"MAYOR!!!!!"
 MAYOR PIKE:"IT'S A OUTRAGE"

[Skipper Duke]

(From same episode as the last quotes posted) Andy:"Aunt Bee, and Opie????"
Aunt Bee:"Well, I couldn’t very well leave him home alone. Could I?"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 2 Sheriff Barney)

Deputy Barney Fife:"Well, come on! Let's get the axes, and go!" Sheriff Andy Taylor: Go where Barn?" Deputy Barney Fife:"Well, to where he said to 411 Elm St.!" Sheriff Andy Taylor:"Don't that address sound familiar to you Barn?" Deputy Barney Fife:"Familiar!? Well, how could it sound familiar!? He just now told it to me this second! Wait a minute. 411 Elm St. that's where I live! Darn you Otis!" Otis Campbell:"The owner of the still is Barney Fife! Yeah get Barney Fife!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 5 The Luck of Newton Munroe)

Barney:"Hey Newton, the cell door is open and the keys are in your car!" Andy:"Barney!"

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 3 Barney's First Car)

Barney:"Can I put my bullet in?"

Andy:"I think you better."

[Skipper Duke]

Aunt Bee:"I wish you'd speak English."

Andy:"You understood what we're saying right Op ?"

Opie:"Cheerio."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 4 The Haunted House)

Gomer:"Age before beauty."