Luke sighed running a hand through his curls. He knew that that was a possibility. Still to hear Bo say it. "Ain't like I want to do this...I ain't gotta choice Bo...if I don't join now, they'll make me later."

"You don't know that! You don't know that for certain at all!"

Bo cried back, throwing himself down like a kid in a tantrum in another corner of the hayloft.

Luke swallowed hard. "I didn't mean to hurt you Bo," he began quietly, on the verge of tears himself. "It...it just seemed like the best thing to do."

"Oh yeah sure, just leave everyone you love behind to go get yourself shot, real best thing in life to do huh."

Bo said sarcastically back

"Oh yeah sure, just leave everyone you love behind to go get yourself shot, real best thing in life to do huh."

Bo said sarcastically back

Luke swallowed hard. Bo wasn't making this easy. "I din't want them decidin' my life Bo..."

"Whatever Luke..."

Bo countered back, done with talking about it. It was clear Luke was gonna go no matter how Bo felt so he wasn't going to say anymore on the subject.

"So that's it then huh?" Luke nodded a little unable to keep the sniff from coming. "Whatever...that's all I get..." He nodded crossing the barn, warm tears threatening his eyes.

Bo didn't stop Luke going, or say anything in return. Instead he stayed stubbornly in his corner, refusing to create any more of an attatchment to Luke than he already had. It was better if Luke left hating Bo and visa versa. That way if Luke didn't come back, it wouldn't matter because it wouldn't hurt and he'd have nothing to miss.

Luke climbed down the ladder much quicker than he had climbed up, and walked quickly to the house. He quickly started filling the new sea bag he'd been issued. Leaving was hard enough. Leaving knowing he didn't have Bo behind him supporting him was even harder. There was no sense prolonging it by staying where it was obvious he was no longer wanted...at least not by Bo.

Jesse sighed as he watched Luke practically run through the house, sighing softly and guessing Luke had done the exact opposite of what he had told him...Bo had upset him....

Shaking his head, he walked slowly into the room and stopped Luke doing what he was doing, turning him round and hugging him close, rocking him softly and rubbing his back.

"I gotta go Jesse...just...just let me go," pleaded Luke unconsciously dropping the Uncle in his anxiety.

Jesse shook his head softly.

"Don't make any rash decisions just because your upset son...give him time..."

"He's never gonna forgive me...." murmured Luke against his uncle. "Never."

"Yes he will...i'll have a talk with him...'splain some things that need explainin'...then you can say your part...he's just upset Luke, you gotta remember that ever since Bo was 6 months old he's been losin' people close to him...he never got the chance to know his parents...Lavinia died when he was young...now your goin' before he's barely even gotten into the hang o;high school...it's just a might rough on him son..."

Jesse explained softly as he rubbed the 18 year old's back gently.

"You think this isn't hard on me?!" said Luke in frustration. "I ain't got time to wait around for him to come to his senses Jesse! I'm going to Nam! We both know that there's a chance I ain't gonna get back here...all I wanted was to know he supported me...that's all I wanted to leave with..."

"I know Luke..."

Jesse soothed softly, hearing some of the boys own fears of where he was going and what he was getting into coming out in his words.

"I know son okay....it wont take Bo that long to come to his senses...but if you leave now you're gonna go to that place with this hangin on your shoulders and that is a sure fire way to get yourself killed...you need to be worryin' about yerself and what your up against out in a war situation...not about what's goin' on at home..."

"How can I not worry about it?" asked Luke, his shoulders shaking. "How can I not think about you...you're the only family I got.." Luke never whimpered but the fear in his stomach caused him to now, homesickness already setting in, at just the thought of leaving.

Jesse sighed softly, keeping the man that really was no more than a frightened little boy on the inside close.

"You'll learn son...we'll write all the time to tell ya what's going on..."

Luke refused to cry, knowing it would do no good. He just nodded a little, hanging on to his uncle with all that he had.

Jesse wished that Luke would cry like he would when he was much younger...he knew from experience what you needed to go into a war zone and bottled up emotions was not one of them.

"Son...if you need to cry then let it out now...because there won't be time for it in training..."

" It won't do no good," began Luke a quiver in his voice. "Just'll make it harder," he added though he couldn't imagine how it could be- he already felt like his world was coming apart.

"It's gonna be hard no matter what you do Luke...but entering it in this frame of mind is gonna make it worse son..."

Jesse countered gently

Luke ran a trembling hand down his face. "I thought...I was doin' the right thing..."

"Maybe ya are son...it just takes time for other people to see it..."

Jesse said softly.