MaryAnne

"Oh just hush a moment..." MaryAnne takes a small pouch from her gunbelt and opens it up, revealing her lock picking kit. "Brian, believe me I'm tryin' to get ya outta here! " She selects a tool and goes to work on the lock. After more than 10 seconds, the lock still hasn't given. "*&%$#@!!" MaryAnne picks another tool and tries it but still no lock...er...luck. She sighs looking at her useless lock picking tool and the stubborn lock. "Startin' cussin', cousin."

"Well..." MaryAnne fumbles with the key a second, "this door's always been kinda tricky to open," *click click* "and I could always hit it just right before but..." *click, clickety-click* "I ain't hittin' it right." MaryAnne pulls the key out and looks at it. Looks at the other keys on the wall. "Maybe it is the wrong one..." Makes a swap and tries another key, but the door still won't open. "Umm...heh heh..." She tried another key and still no luck. "Brian, I dunno quite how to tell ya this..."

After signing, stamping, officializin', duplicating in triplicate, having notarized, bronzed, laminated and sworn upon the form for Brian's parole, MaryAnne turned to the holding cell and grinned. "Kheehaaa, cousin!" She plucked the keys off the key holder on the wall. "Yer back to freedom!" Puts the key in the lock and tries to turn it. The door doesn't unlock right away but MaryAnne is unconcerned. The door had always been tricky to open.

NOTICE OF PAROLE July 25th, 2003 County of Hazzard State of Georgia In Witness Thereof, Notice is here by given that Brian Coltrane has met the requirements for parole and parole has been granted. (enter fancy shmancy signature here. ROFL) Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane Hazzard County Sheriff's Department (KHEE!)

"Strange Visitor to Hazzard" was by far the worst episode of the series. It's clear the writers were becoming confined in the Paul Picard denfined box that was Hazzard (although this episode broke one of Picard's cardinal rules. It never gets dark in Hazzard). The episode does have a couple of moments, but it's pretty much ranked at the bottom. "Lawman of the Year" had potential but nobody took advantage of it. Rosco (and James Best for that matter) really could have pulled off something super (and left Coy and Vance permanently in the dust). But alas. Another one to add to the list of "if I were to rewrite an episode..." =) Lisa

"Thanks Miz Tizdale," MaryAnne called after the Hazzard Postmistress as she left the room. She looked down at the comic books and smiled. making a note to thank Hilery later as well. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck...who put the Maverick comic in here? "Khee!" She handed several of the comics to Brian through the bars and looked at her cousin for a moment. Obviously he was waiting for her to answer Rosco's question as much as Rosco was waiting for an answer. MaryAnne silently sighed and turned back to Rosco. "I'm sorry, Rosco. As much as I'd like to, I can't let Brian out yet. His parole date is set for the 25th and it will stay that way. If I let him out earlier than that, I think it would undermine the whole purpose of the sentencing anyway." She walked over to Rosco. "Don't worry, he'll be home again. I'm not sending him up the river forever. You know I would't do that anyway. He's in there because I don't want to see anything happen to him. And I know you wouldn't either."

The episode you seek is called "Witness for the Persecution." Boss is to testify against somebody at a trial and is placed under Federal protective custody. The Feds figure the safest place they can put him is the Duke farm. Daisy, oblivous to this arrangement, comes home from the Boar's Nest one night, changes into her nightie and finds Boss in her bed. ROFL. Not sure where to find Daisy Duke screensavers but I'm sure there's some around the web here somewhere. =) Lisa

"I understand why ya reacted as ya did. You were hurtin' too." *takes a step toward Rosco* "But the fact that yer back, says a lot. There's still a place in yer heart for Hazzard. And although you may be an ol' fool, yer still my cousin. And I can forgive ya." *smiles and gives her older cousin a hug* "Welcome home, Rosco..."

MaryAnne sighed. "Um....no he won't be home for supper. Atleast not for another..." *looks at calender* "Twenty one days. The short version of all this is that Brian's in jail for two reasons. One, for breakin' the law I laid down about fightin' and two, for his own good. " *pauses, looks at Rosco sadly* "You wanna talk things not bein' the same with a place missin' at the supper table...?"

MaryAnne regarded her cousin with a weary yet otherwise expressionless face. "A lot has happened since you left, Rosco. It would take me a couple of years worth of Sundays to tell ya all of it. You've been gone a long time..."

"Waaalllll, ya talked me into it." MaryAnne grinned. "I'll meet ya at the Busy Bee for lunch." (OOC meant to tell ya earlier Chance, yer doin' fine with the Rosco lines you've written. Khee! =)

ROFL. I seem to recall there's an episode where Rosco was putting something in the glove box of the General (cufflinks?) and it only showed the hands. And they sure as heck weren't James Best's. They looked more like John's. LOL. "I'm a good ol' boy...you know my momma loves me...but she don't understand they keep showin' my hands and not my face on tv..." =) Although he couldn't shuffle cards it didn't stop Denver from playin' one of the riverboat gamblers in the Mel Gibson movie version of Maverick....and getting thrown off the boat for cheatin'. LOL. Actually, throwin' himself off the boat for cheatin'! ROFL

After Chance and Doc Appleby went into Kristy's office, MaryAnne turned to Val and grinned. "I love it when they say 'Coltrane?' like that and then look at Rosco. Khee! Leaves 'em speechless every time. Now what's this you said about lunch?"

I never expected for folks to start bannishing themselves from town. That wasn't my intent. Whether or not anybody could have stopped the fight is not the issue, nor is it the charge. However, given that the proposals have been made, the court has something to say... D.M.W - As Chet Duke's author your proposal of 60 days punishment is noble. Given as Chet and Brian are guilty of same charge, I would like to make a counter-offer of the same terms as were given to Brian. 60 days, with a parole hearing after 30. Parole would come in the form of a story, either completed or in progress, by July 25th. The story, upon completion will be posted to the HNet fanfic section. Consider this a court counter-offer. Although you are free to reject the terms, and stay with your original, I'm lookin' to make the time spent productive. Daney and Min Duke - Your 30 days of punishment is a noble gesture as well and the court would like to offer similar counter offer terms. At the end of your 30 days, each provide a story, either completed or in progress, to be posted to the HNet fanfic section. Again, each of you is free to reject this proposal and spend the next 30 days bannished to the farm. But I would like to see something productive come from the time spent. So noted. MaryAnne

Watching all this from the booking desk, MaryAnne had kept quiet. This Chance Walker was certainly getting a crash course education on Hazzard County. She stood up and came down from the booking desk to join the group. "Well," she said. Boss looked at her, pointing a finger with his cigar in grip at her. "Don't you start with me too, MaryAnne." "You mean I can't join in on the fun here?" "Jit! MaryAnne, hush." MaryAnne turned to Rosco, blue eyes regarding her cousin in a cold stare that made Rosco flinch. "YOU hush. Seein' as there's an audience here I'll save my riot act for the both you later!" MaryAnne turned and faced Chance and Doc Appleby. "I apologize for the conduct of our Sheriff and County Commissioner. Doc told several of us that you were coming. I hope you understand that this ain't our usual red carpet treatment for new arrivals."

Justice, however, knows no time warp.... Please see the County Legal Notice.

Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane -- Hazzard County Sheriff's Department. About three weeks ago, I declared martial law and placed the town on a 72 hour lock down to get a curb on the excessive fighting that was taking place. About a week after the lock down was lifted, Chet Duke and Brian Coltrane entered into a pact to attempt to beat the hell outta each other. This act was in direct violation of the decree set forth at the time of the lock down. As Chet Duke is no longer a presense in Hazzard County I cannot bring forth charges and render a sentence. However, the remaining participant, Brian Coltrane, has been charged and subsequently found guilty of violation of the lockdown decree from June the 4th. There was to be no more fighting. The sentence, handed down for such violation is as follows: 60 days in the Hazzard County Jail, time served to begin immediately and without delay. The incarcerated may be eligible for a parole hearing after a minimum of 30 days served. Hereby entered and recorded in the County record by Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane, Hazzard County Sheriff's Department.

MaryAnne was kneeling beside Hilery as well and her own eyes weren't very dry. She could feel Hilery's pain and Brian's guilt, especially when his dark eyes turned up to look at her. The deputy in her, however, knew there were some things that needed to be taken care of. The first of which was getting Hilery back to town safely. "Hilery? C'mon, I'll take ya back to town, to the garage. We'll have Cooter come out and get Jumper here. I don't want you drivin' any more today like this, ok?" She tugged on Hilery's shoulder eventually getting the young Davenport to pick herself up off the ground. She stood up brushing tears away and MaryAnne put an arm around her shoulders. "I know it hurts, Hilery, but ya gotta stay strong. Ok?" MaryAnne looked at Brian. "Wait for me at the courthouse..."

Meanwhile, sitting at the booking desk, MaryAnne glared at the CB box after hearing Rosco and Enos's exchange. She picked up the mike. "Rosco P. Coltrane, yer the last person in this county that I'd expect to be harrassin' the tourists!" "Will you hush! It ain't no tourist!" the Sheriff repiled back. "How do you know?" "Because I know. For one thing, they's speedin' and that means they're runnin' away from something! And I'm gonna nail 'em. Khee! I'm gone..." MaryAnne rolled her eyes and felt sorry for whoever was about to be introduced to the Sheriff of Hazzard County...

MaryAnne got out of Maverick and went to the driver door of the Shelby. She pulled it open. "Hilery," she said gently. "C'mon now..."

MaryAnne watched Jumper pull ahead of her a bit and she shifted Maverick into his top gear, bringing the bird back in line with the Shelby. The two cars went through the broad turn, side by side and MaryAnne pushed Maverick for everything the V8 could give. The blue Firebird screamed past Jumper and drove ahead, pulling infront of the Shelby. MaryAnne let off the gas, slowing down and forcing Hilery to slow down or plow into Maverick.

MaryAnne was about to say something to Brian when Hilery suddenly took off. She watched Jumper squeal out of the square. "Aw man, she ain't in no condition to be drivin'!" MaryAnne ran to Maverick and jumped into the Firebird, pulling away from the curb. The 'bird tore out of the square and out the road Jumper had disappeared down. After a moment, MaryAnne saw the teal colored car and she floored the accelerator, bringing the Firebird up alongside of the Shelby. "Hilery! Slow down!"

*after calling for an ambulance on Maverick's CB, MaryAnne tossed the mike back into the car and hurried over to where Chet lay. She stood over Brian's shoulder and looked down at Chet and quietly placed her hand over her mouth. After a moment, she knelt down next to Hilery, touched Chet on the shoulder and softly spoke a prayer...* "May the Lord support us all the day long, till the shadows lengthen, and the evening comes down, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then in his mercy may he give us a safe lodging, and holy rest and peace at last.... Amen..." *MaryAnne closed her eyes and bowed her head* "Chet, I'm sorry..."

"I wasn't very impressed. Infact, I'm rather disappointed. I can't believe that Chet thought the only way to gain "status" as a bad guy was to take Brian out. What the hell is this county coming to anyway? Doesn't anybody wanna work for anything anymore? I really hate to think I've spent 7 years of my life, workin' and bustin' my ass just so I can witness this..." Slides off the hood of Maverick and paces in the road for a moment. Turns back to Daney and Hilery. "Nobody in Hazzard history has ever...EVER tried to take another person out in order to assume their status. Never. Every single one of us got where we are today by working, creating and writing, writing, writing. I imposed martial law on this town. I locked it down for 72 hours and we get that..." Gestures towards the square. "Obviously my methods of law have become archaic, considering it's gotten to this point." Continues to pace back and forth infront of Daney and Hilery. "Obviously jail time is no deterrent. Imposing fines hasn't worked either." Stops pacing and looks towards the courthouse, the American and Georgia flags waving in the breeze. "I think it's about time to impliment some radical reforms...." Turns back to Daney and Hilery. "What Hazzard needs is something to do. I recognize that people get restless therefore, I'm gonna start comin' up with stuff folks can do...."

Unbeknownst to Brian and Chet, they had an audience. MaryAnne had stepped out of the courthouse and taken a seat on the hood of Maverick, who was parked at the far corner of the street that ran infront of the courthouse, putting her closer to Cooter's garage. Neither Brian or Chet would immediately notice her, but if they looked they couldn't miss her either. She didn't call out to them, didn't draw any attention to herself, didn't do anything to let them know she was there. But she was pretty sure she wouldn't have to...